Latest Posts by cuckinlove - Page 3

Life-changing paradigm shift.

The Art of Cuckolding

Alright, lets destroy the taboo surrounding cuckolding once and for all. Are you ready? Get ready, because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. When it comes to cuckolding, you have to see it for what it is, rather than what you think it is. In other words, you have to see it, from a perspective, that doesn’t personally involve you, even if you’re the one being cuckolded. There’s a submission in that, a surrendering, and it’s that surrendering that makes cuckolding an incredible experience, compared to a betrayal of trust, or neglect, or envy, or jealousy.

First of all, cuckolding is not required to have a successful, happy, and wonderful female led relationship. Many don’t need it, nor want it. However, many could benefit from it, if they examined why they don’t want it. So in the end, it really boils down to if cuckolding is in alignment with you both as a couple, or not, and whether or not, you can get in alignment with it.

Cuckolding is often something that is worked toward as the relationship progresses, as each partner becomes more confident in their role as dominant and submissive, cuckolding is just the next natural step to take. Sometimes it comes easier, or even, occurs early on, so this does vary per couple, but as a general rule, it’s something that is evolved toward.

The reason for this, is because it really does require a lot of inner work in both partners.  The inner work of becoming dominant and submissive, requires a change in mindset, it requires letting go of what doesn’t serve you anymore.  A dominant cannot hang onto insecurity and be fully dominant. A submissive can’t truly submit without giving up control. You see, this inner work, changes mindsets as the relationship evolves.  At first it’s the overcoming of some inhibitions, while keeping others.

Then this gradually evolves into slightly more into letting go of inhibitions, a little more experimental, a little more exploring. A little more intense D/s dynamic. What was once fun, has become the expectation. It’s great to lock him up in chastity, for 3 days, it’s a lot of fun, but now he’s expected to be locked up for a week at a time, without complaint. There is inner work happening automatically to respond to the D/s dynamic. She becomes a little more dominant in time, and he becomes a little more submissive in time. Less inhibitions, more power exchange.

So naturally, it gets to a point where she has discovered that keeping him denied and very horny, is the best place to keep him, all of the time. That if she decides to let him have a release, it’s for her entertainment, and not his need. So often, she finds that intercourse is just something he can’t give her anymore, or very often, because it takes him out of the obedient state she wants him to be in. She doesn’t want to wait for that obedient state to build back up again, she wants to just keep him there, because that’s where he best serves her. She discovers, its up to her, if she wants him out of that state or not.

So now the dilemma of intercourse comes along, and sure, she can make him use a strap on, or a face dildo, and have him pretend to be good at the rough sex she craves from time to time, and this can work maybe beautifully. It serves to tease him and keep him denied, she cums, and it brings them closer together in the D/s dynamic. He loves providing her pleasure, and being kept denied for her.

Yet, it’s still often not as good as the real thing. Not only that, but as her confidence increased as she becomes more dominant, she’s going to naturally be more attractive to the men in the world. She’s going to be getting male attention, and as she becomes more and more dominant, she’s going to realize that her submissive has no say in her sex life if she doesn’t want him to have a say.

A submissive, having done the inner work, will eventually come to the same conclusion if he hasn’t already. He knows her sex life has nothing to do with him, and he wants to make sure she is pleasured. Many submissives find the idea is very hot, and encourage their dominant to cuckold them. However, if they haven’t done the inner work, they’re going to find that when she actually follows through on it, he feels neglected by her. Or jealous of her lover. If the inner work hasn’t been done, cuckolding can wreak havoc on the relationship.

The idea that she could do it, when he really only loved the fantasy of it. The reality hits him like a truck. He either does the inner work because of that, or it ruins him and his relationship to her, feeling betrayed. On the flip side, she may feel guilty for having done it, and when that’s combined with his feelings of betray, look out, it’s likely a relationship ender. And it’s all because the inner work wasn’t done in either of them, they’ve now encountered friction on a level beyond their capability to cope.

This is why cuckolding should never be rushed, and should be adequately communicated about with each other. There should be no secrets between each other, all fantasies and all fetishes, and all feelings, should be on the table in plain view, at all times. When she gets the urge to cuckold him because some cute guy hit on her at the gym, she should be able to go home and tell her submissive about it, just to gauge his reaction. Which should be an honest reply of how he really feels about it.

During the discovery of the D/s dynamic and the letting go of inhibitions there are often key points where each partner has their own epiphany, the epiphany that this is really happening, that he is hers. A sense of belonging, or a sense of ownership. It’s just a point in which, that level of D/s dynamic has become the new normal. That there’s no going back. Many couples experience many gradual epiphanies, but there comes a point where there’s an epiphany of epiphanies. It’s the point where, the D/s dynamic is who they truly are. It’s the epiphany of freedom to be dominant, and freedom to be submissive. The becoming dominant and submissive to each other is over, they have become dominant and submissive to each other.

It’s the point at which, his dedication to her never wavers, and she knows she is free to do anything she pleases without  the fear that he would ever leave her. This doesn’t include abuse, abuse is always a deal breaker. However within the framework of the D/s dynamic, he is hers, and she controls both their lives. Which means, she gets to act single, if she wishes, when she is out and about. Her submissive, knowing he belongs to her, wants her to fully be herself, and if that means finding a lover, to make up for the sex he’s no longer allowed to give her, or perhaps never could, then he’s all for it. Her pleasure, is his pleasure, and he wants that for her. He encourages that for her. He may help her accomplish it, if she wants him to.

Cuckolding can become this very intimate thing, that takes the D/s dynamic to the next level. She may have him get her ready for dates, picking out a cute outfit, or driving her to her date. He may help her get ready for the date, shaving her legs, after bathing her. The fantasy of the cuckolding can become a very intimate experience and bring them very close together. He is excited for her and happy she’s confident enough to truly get what she wants.

Cuckolding can start out gradually like all other things, and build up to more and more involvement for her submissive. Maybe he’s at home while she’s out at her lovers hotel room and she comes home the next day to tell him about it. Maybe it then graduates to her inviting her lover to her house. Maybe her cuckold is in the same room, maybe not. There’s any number of ways and ideas that can be explored through cuckolding and that’s dependent upon what she wants.

After the fact, her submissive is eager to hear the detail, he’s eager to support her, and make sure she doesn’t feel guilty about it. He feels owned and in complete bliss knowing she comes home to him. That he is hers, and she cuddles him afterward. He loves her through allowing her to come back to him. That she is free, and she loves him because of that freedom. He is her rock. He is the one she trusts more than anyone in the world. Nothing can replace him. Cuckolding can bring about that realization. He has nothing to do with her sex life, yet everything to do with it. Which is exactly what submission is.

It’s the knowing that he is where he belongs, and that belonging can’t have attachments to outcomes. Because an attachment to an outcome, is an attempt to control. He gets the outcome she wants him to have. He doesn’t get a say in that but she must know his limits.

That’s the beauty of the D/s dynamic it’s designed to discover those limits. A lot of what people think are limits, are just inhibitions that can be overcome in time, with inner work. Some of them can’t be, and if there truly is no inner work to be done, and the resistance to the idea is that strong that it repulses you, then that’s the limit. But if there’s any question at all, any inkling that may not be the case, that needs to be communication, because there’s inner work there, that can be done.

If that inner work is done with cuckolding, it really does open up a whole new world to the D/s dynamic, and the possibilities that can be explored together. Those possibilities can never be understood, until they’re already available. You have to become a cuckold couple, to understand that. Everything else is fantasy that can’t become reality, or a turn off that is loyal to monogamy.

Many people are enslaved by the idea of monogamy, but when they discover it’s simply a social construct designed to keep people limited because sexual expression is shunned, they want to free themselves. Others, make it a choice, and when it’s a choice, it’s perfectly okay. There is nothing wrong with being monogamous. But you have to ask yourself, is it you making the choice, or is it society making the choice for you? If it’s society making the choice for you, then you have to understand, that you were never given the option. “ A bird that’s lived it’s whole life in a cage, thinks flying is an illness.”

Cuckolding is not cheating, rather,  It is a direct result of the unfolding of natural female desire. Where she understands that monogamy was just another instilled taboo to control her. She realizes she can have the best of both worlds, having an attentive submissive to cater to her sensual sexual nature, to provide her with everything she wants, and a lover to give her the sex she craves, liberating her to explore her sexuality beyond her wildest dreams. Which means, since she gets the best of both worlds, her submissive does to, because he belongs to her, and her pleasure is his pleasure, her happiness, his happiness. They both get the best of both worlds, because neither of them, want it to be any other way.

Want to understand the world of female led relationships? Check out my book series Practical FLR Volumes 1-3

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Beyond a fetish or kink - a paradigm of romantic partnership for the modern age. 

All women should cheat on their husbands

Before Hubby introduced me to his wild fantasies, I never imagined being with anyone other than him. He was the first guy to ever fuck me and I was certain he would be the last one. How happy I am that I was mistaken!

Once I started dating other men, I discovered a whole new world of sensations. I found out that others can stimulate me in ways that Hubby could only dream of, and it helped me explore my sexuality to the fullest. It’s a journey of self-discovery that still keeps surprising and exciting us both, after years of cuckolding. What I’m saying is that it never gets old.

Hubby is probably even happier than I am. All the teasing and denying he gets, knowing that although my heart is his, my body belongs to other men, makes his desire for me go through the roof. I’m the Forbidden Fruit to him, and that fills him with passion and admiration. He treats me like a Goddess, always hoping that in return I’ll allow him to eat my ass, sniff my feet, or clean my freshly fucked pussy.

Cuckolding is simply Heaven, and I think that all women deserve to experience it at some point in their lives.

Ladies, as long as you love your husbands and you wouldn’t leave them for anything in the world, there’s nothing wrong with having some fun on the side. You know you want variety. You need it. Life’s too short to settle for a single man – it can get boring and even depressing someday. You don’t know what you’re missing out on!

Cheating without guilt is the recipe for happiness, and – if your husband is into it – cuckolding will change both of your lives for the better. Counting your lover too, it’s a win-win-win situation.

More truth. Learn this, ladies, and you can have whatever you want...including the most loving, sexually charged, satisfying relationship of anyone you know.

Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

Husband shoe resource

Reference material

How To Measure For A Chastity Cage

I’ve taken the time to draw and write a “How To” as I got many questions about getting the measurements right for a custom made chastity cage. It should be even helpful for a standard chastity cage like the Holy Trainer as it comes in various sizes and people might wonder if they need the Small or the Large version. I hope this helps many boys who are interested in chastity 😊 Take care of yourself *arf* 🐶🔒

The reasons why...

WHY I CUCKOLD MY HUSBAND? BECAUSE I LIKE IT.

The politically correct answer would be: “My husband is a cuckold, because that is what he is longing for and because he wants me to lead him to a deeper submission. If he wouldn’t, I wouldn’t do it.”

The answer is correct, and forms part of the reason why I began doing it, but I have to admit, in the presend I make my husband a cuckold because I like it.

I love making love with a man, and I love that my husband does not have the right to have the same priviledges as I have. I admit. I love meeting men, the whole process from the beginning of the meeting until the conclusion. I love my husband and I keep him up to date of things, because I love his support and his deepening submission, I love it when he feels the humiliation, and because I think it’s the role of man in a marriage.

It is part of who I am, what I believe. It is not a game but a way of life, and a statement.

As I said, I love the whole process. I like to flirt, seduce, be seduced by a beautiful man. I like to be asked out on a date. I like to tease my husband about my encounters. I like it when my husband helps me prepare for a new appointment.

I like to go out. I love the game, and to test a man. I like the kiss (the first kiss!), the first caress, to be in his arms, and yes, I love sex! I like to see my husband before and after, shy, tormented, or otherwise confused. I love this power I feel, and I like what it gives me, and above all I like what it does to my husband.

And I can tell you, you do not know how it feels to really control a man until he is a cuckold, your cuckold, who knows and who is kept chaste throughout the process.

The cuckolding process is so much more then having sex. It is liberating and by allowing it my husband accepts his subservient position. It is a total power exchange of the husband submitting to the dominant female.

It is neither swinging nor wife swapping. It doesn’t happen because my husband craves for it. I would have stopped after the first try. I continued because it increases my pleasure, and because I feel like it. I enjoy every minute of it. Meanwhile, my husband exists to serve me. Everything is for my pleasure, and the frustration of my husband forms part of the pleasure.

It was my husband who brought it up, more then once. He had to convince me. Before I decided to give it a try, I told my husband that if we would do it, it might be permanent. And indeed. There is no way back.

This is on the to do list

Benefits of male chastity and etc

Chastity…

If Your husband has asked You lock him in chastity, You may think he is asking you to do some sexually perverted, kinky, thing that You don’t understand and don’t want to understand because it is sick and perverted. The fact is, he is not sick and perverted, he just wants to have fun, sexually.

There was a time in Your marriage when sex was fun and exciting for You, too. Wasn’t there? He just wants to get that back again. He is not asking You to do anything that is difficult, or perverted. He is asking You to play a game with him. A sexual game in which You control when and how he has sex. That’s all. So give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much fun You, Yourself, can have

Chastity is an amazing fetish. Most people think it’s some kind of punishment or chore, but it isn’t. The feelings you receive from abstaining from orgasm are just sublime. Guys feel aroused right up until the point where they orgasm, then everything is reset to zero after orgasm they’re no longer turned on and in order to become even remotely aroused they have to wait again for the feelings to kick in.

Well, what if they didn’t orgasm. What if they didn’t masturbate every evening? What if they abstained from orgasms altogether? Would the feelings of arousal increase and increase? Yes. Yes they would. Which is why chastity is an immensely popular fetish.

Chastity popularity

It is such an intimate act to show trust in his partner for a man to hand over the key to his “crown jewels“ and to allow him to be locked up, to await “HER” pleasure. It is quite surprising that so many people have dabbled with the man wearing a chastity device, and they are the second most often bought sex toys after vibrators.

Chastity - A Joint Decision

For chastity to work well it has to be a joint decision. If you’re both eager to try chastity then the belt or device you choose should also appeal to your wife. It’s no good you buying an expensive belt and she hates the sight of it.

Some women find the transparency of the CB-6000, CB-6000s or the Curve nicely displays the enslaved penis, many would-be keyholders like the quality and hygiene of a stainless steel device. Other women like the thought of the traditional Florentine style belts believing they are more secure.

Others initially prefer to go for something like the Stallion Guard as a low cost device to experiment with before deciding on a more secure belt or cage. There are keyholders who like to allow and see the penis fully erect whilst it’s encased, belts and devices most suited to this concept, known as “penile negation”, include the Samurai and Caterpillar cock cages from Mr S. Neither of these 2 devices can be considered long term wear, however, they’re an ideal purchase as an additional chastity device to your collection, and allow your keyholder the opportunity to employ different techniques of teasing.

Some keyholders love these devices because they relish the sight of a fully erect, straining cock unable to escape.

Chastity and Masturbation

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women.

However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you.

Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.

This isn’t as kinky as it sounds

If your sex life to date has been restricted to intercourse and perhaps mutual masturbation, chastity play can sound like something pretty weird. It isn’t. Nothing has to change about how you make love; what changes is when. The partner who wears the chastity belt has given the partner who has the “key” the ability to decide when sex can take place. Since most chastity devices effectively prevent masturbation, it means one partner gives the other control of all orgasms. This can be a great deal of fun for both people.

Chastity play allows you to take sex out of the bedroom in a subtle way that only the two of you will know. For example, if a woman has her male partner locked up, they can agree on “rules” he should follow, such as “he must always stand when she enters the room.” If when they are out with friends he forgets, she can smile and hold some fingers up and he will know he stays locked up that many more days until he can get release.

If you don’t think this is incredibly hot to both partners, just try it! You won’t believe how exciting a dull relationship can become overnight. Take a few minutes and use your imagination. Fun, huh?

Chastity Devices

Chastity devices have been used throughout the ages in order to prevent sexual intercourse. Classically, chastity has been forced upon someone using a belt type mechanic, but in recent times, more concealable and localized devices are able to be used in order to prevent the ability to touch and interact with sexual organs. In addition to the modern interpretation of how to perform chastity, a sexual fetish has developed. Individuals now enjoy the prospect of being locked up and unable to perform sexual activities unless the other person who’s chastised them allows it.

Chastity and Confinement for Men

Chastity for men is the most common form, with blocks of specially formed plastic being placed around the penis with a small lock attached for keeping it closed. Some male chastity devices make it impossible or highly painful to experience an erection, aiding the experience of being denied sexual pleasure. One major element of chastity is the understanding that eventually, the device will be removed. The sexual fetish is undesirable if the wearer believes that they will never be allowed to experience an orgasm again. As expected, chastity is an exchange of a power dynamic, with one person assuming the role of being in charge and the other being submissive and completely subject to the will of the other person.

Chastity for couples

Male chastity is not just for men, nor is it just for women who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a great deal to gain as well.

Taking control of one small aspect of your relationship - The sex. By utilizing a chastity device, you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may or may not be keen on the idea. If this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and denial to get what you want….it will work.

If you can both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about it. Start out slow and easy. Don’t plan on more than a month or even a week for a trial period. Remember, this is just a trial period. If you don’t like it, don’t get any enjoyment from it, don’t see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always quit.

Couple chastity

If you’re in a committed relationship, but you want to really turn up the heat in your sex play, then chastity could be the answer for you. Many couples engage in chastity as a means of getting back the desire they felt in the early days of their relationship, when they couldn’t wait to have sex, and it lasted for hours not minutes. A time when they were always on each other’s mind.

Chastity is also a choice for many couples when the man has been unfaithful, or has been caught masturbating to internet porn. He may choose chastity as a way to demonstrate his commitment, reassure his partner, and enhance their relationship. This is a precious pledge for any man, and the thought of this alone can be incredibly arousing for both partners.

There is no doubt about it, chastity play results in superior sexual satisfaction! Trying to earn a release, the bottom will be much more attentive to his partner’s needs. Without being distracted by his own selfish wants, his sole focus is pleasuring his Keyholder. He will demonstrate his ability and affection to his partner, going above and beyond in the hope of an ultimate ‘release’.. Remember; the couple that plays together stays together!

Chastity and relantionship

There is no one right way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. Chastity is a challenge well worth undertaking because it can help lead to a transformation of a man’s relationship with his partner. Almost every account of a chastity regimen notes that the man becomes much more attentive to the needs of his partner, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasing to her. The many religious traditions that use chastity/abstinence as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are definitely onto something..

Primary benefits of enforced male

1. It prevents him from masturbating. Male masturbation is a filthy habit. It’s addictive, selfish, and disrespectful to women. Chronic masturbation has the effect of substantially diminishing a man’s natural sexual desire for his wife of girlfriend. It unfortunately teaches him that his orgasm is primary, and hers is secondary.

2. Because he can’t even get an erection without her permission, it instantly changes the dynamics of the relationship.

3. It keeps his sexual focus and energy on his wife or girlfriend.

4. It will substantially increase his desire to orally service his wife or girlfriend.

5. If he’s never been an ass-eater, after having his penis locked up for a few weeks, he will be.

6. It serves as a constant reminder to him of her authority.

7. Because it makes his orgasms entirely dependent on her generosity, it positively incentives him to honor her, respect her, and motivates him to please.

8. It gives him the time and opportunity to substantially improve and perfect his oral skills.

9. It reinforces the idea that pussy is a precious gift that must be earned, and is to be savored and appreciated on those rare occasions when he does get it.

10. It teaches him that sexual activity with his wife or girlfriend doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with his penis.

11. It deepens his submission to her, and will cause him to worship the ground she walks on.

12. It will significantly improve his attitude, and make him more generous, caring, kind, respectful, and loving. It will help soften the sharper edges of his me-first masculinity. It will make him more of a listener than a talker.

13. It helps prepares him for the eventuality of anal penetration, and getting the strap-on. Because his penis isn’t being sexually stimulated, it has the effect of gradually turning other parts of his body into erogenous zones, particularly his anus and his prostate. With patience and persistence, he can be trained to orgasm from stimulation in that region via your finger, or the strap-on.

14. If his orgasms are consistently controlled and severely restricted, he will eventually get to the point where he will do just about anything to cum. You’ll be amazed by what he’ll do for you.

Chastity -  power to the woman

This voluntary act in which the man shows his trust and hands over the key to his most precious possessions to her who will then decide when he is to be released. This is an action which gives enormous power to the woman in a relationship, or the supervisor on our course and it is a gift from him to her.

It is a sexual act which frees him from the ability to pleasure himself and frees him to learn how to please his partner and thus be allowed pleasure himself.

It sounds from this description a strange and “kinky “activity, but surprisingly the approach has wide acceptance as a method to improve male performance and pleasure.

The Mental Game of Chastity

The power exchange exists in the realm of the minds so to the submissive male, being denied can provide him with more mental pleasure and more mental fulfillment than a physical orgasm.

The aroused and denied male will spend more time in subspace and thus his mind will be on a mental sphere where the female rules supreme in his life and he is much more eager to serve the female.

The mental stimulation should touch a man’s psychological triggers, which will stimulate him sexually. It is that mental stimulation that causes an intense power exchange and that can make sex more pleasurable for the woman both physically and mentally while at the same time fulfilling the male need to be dominated.

Chastity and BDSM

Chastity is a fantastic pawn in the BDSM game. It is a great tool for tease and denial, and can be implemented as an incredibly effective punishment/reward scheme. Dominants that have never fully engaged in chastity play, will have almost certainly at some point employed a ‘permission to cum?’ policy. So, what’s the difference? Well chastity play takes this concept one step further and gives the Key Holder full control over their slave’s orgasms. Many people who love to engage in BDSM have not yet discovered the joys of chastity

Locked in Chastity for BDSM

Key Holder is a term used to describe the dominant woman in a male chastity agreement. Many couples are into BDSM and male chastity is one of the many methods that these women use to dominate their men. Some men are more turned on the more they are ordered around.

The woman will tease the man while he has a male chastity device on and she is the only one who has the key to open it and award him with a release. Discuss it with your partner in detail and decide if you want your chastity to be long term or short term.

If you are just starting out, you should ease into it before you commit to being locked in. If you enter into it before you are ready it will likely prolong the process.

“be careful what you wish for”

There is an old saying among those wives who adopted a chastity lifestyle because their husbands encouraged them…”be careful what you wish for”.

If some of the husbands were given a choice to go back to their old ways they would, but none of the wives would.

Deep down the caged men are happier because they wanted to be sexually controlled by their wives and now they are. Their new reality is often much different than their original fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his.

BDSM resources

BDSM Links And Resources

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters

Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker

T&D Primer

My Hotwife is Working It!

In my last post, I talked about how my hotwife had ended it with her regular bull from work because he got into a serious relationship, and how she was setting the trap for a guy on her commuter bus.  Well, she worked it so the guy from work is back in play.  They will fuck next week. He backed out of his serious relationship because he wanted to keep fucking her (who can blame him?).  And it didn’t happen with the commuter guy that night....but it looks like it will happen tonight.  Our dryer went out so she arranged to take two loads of laundry over to his place to use his dryer (and seduce him to use her).  Early signs are encouraging.  So my wife may be working two regular lovers now, plus her cuckold. Wonderful times, these...

My Hotwife is at it again...

My beautiful wife had to stop with her bull from work with whom she cuckolded me six glorious times because he is now in a serious relationship.  So she has been setting her trap for this guy on her commuter bus home from work for several weeks now.  Well, tonight she got off the bus at his stop and sent me this text:  “I’ll be home later.”  I’m pretty sure this will result in dinner, making out, and a blow job at the least.  He lives very close to us, so if she hits it off with him, this could become a VERY regular thing.  I’m overcome with the full array of cuckold emotions.  I cannot wait for her to come home to me after being a very naughty wife and kiss me deeply with the taste of his cum still in her mouth.  I am hopelessly in love with her.  I am an insect caught in her spider’s web, and I don’t ever want to get out...

Cucked for the Sixth Time

My amazing wife just cuckolded me for the sixth time. I forfeited our date night so she could fuck her bull. She made me run her errands while she was fucking. So, for example, while she was moaning with pleasure with his cock pounding and stretching her, I was at that very moment waiting in line at Costco to pick up our New Year photo greeting cards -- with my cock caged, no less. Her bull deposited a huge load in her, which she thoughtfully kept from draining out until I could get to her hotel room to reclaim her. I voraciously kissed her all over and consumed her with my eyes as well. Then she fed it to me while I licked her to two more orgasms and fucked her for another. She is a sexually insatiable, greedy bitch, and I am madly in love with her. If you have read any of my prior posts, you know that I suffered from riding an intense emotional roller coaster the previous five times she cuckolded me, but each time it was a little easier. This is the first time I had only positive thoughts (lust & love for my wife, wanting the best for her, wanting to please her, etc.) and no negatives (fear of losing her, anxiety over him being better than me in some way, anxiety over our relationship being negatively affected, etc.). I think it is because she has proven each time she cucked me that she is FOR me. And also because I am coming to terms with the fact that this is who I am. There is no need to fight it. I am proud to be her cuckold, and it is my privilege & honor to facilitate her pleasure by any means. She is laying next to me now, taking a much-deserved nap on sheets that smell of her bull's cologne and his semen...and I could not be happier! We've been married for over 17 years and I am more passionate towards my wife than any couple that I have ever met (including newlyweds). @dirtylittledamsel7

She Cuckolded Me!

I am now officially a cuckold.  My wife has cuckolded me 5 times now with a guy from work.  I’ll post pics/audio/video when I can.  His cock is longer and thicker than mine and he has a lot of endurance and she loves it.  She reels off multiple orgasms every time she is with him and brings me home a sore, gaping pussy smelling of his semen.  

Although she would like to continue with this guy, he is getting serious in a relationship with another woman and it looks like he will not be available much longer.  She is now looking for her next conquest....

Sacramento!

Reblog if your from California! With your city :) I want to see whose near me 😉

Cuck Newbie Update

So the guy my wife targeted actually made her doubt whether she wanted to go through with it. As a result, we have slowed down and she has not fully cuckolded me yet (by fucking). There has been a lot of kissing and groping, however, and she informed me this morning that there is a strong chance that she will suck his dick this week. It still seems that she is intent on fully entering the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle. She's just entering more gradually... I do still suffer from raging emotions when she is out with him. I hope they will always continue (don't ever want to be nonchalant about it), but at an abated, manageable level.

Cuck Newbie Seeking Counsel from Experienced Cucks & Hotwives

As I wrote in my previous post, after more than a decade of mutual fantasy and her saying she was not ready and would probably never be ready, my wife suddenly decided that she was going to cuckold me with a guy from work.  I’m incredibly turned on by this, of course, but I really was not prepared for the full impact of the emotions I’m now dealing with daily.  My heart has been racing and I’ve been short of breath for going on 2 1/2 days now.  That has to calm down at some point, right? 

Also, in addition to the positive emotions like loving, adoring, and worshipping her like never before and being turned on like I’ve never experienced before, I’m also feeling like I’m not getting enough from her because her emotional intensity level isn’t matching mine.  So I worry a little about losing her.  Somehow, I need her to make it known to me that I am still special to her, that I am still her #1 in some manner, that we have something that no one else can ever have with her.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  I don’t really have words for the emotional roller coaster I am on.  And she hasn’t even cuckolded me, yet!  Just some pretty direct flirting via text messages.  But she has assured me that she intends to suck his cock this week.  Furthermore, she told me flat out tonight that he will definitely not be the only other guy she fucks.  So she is past the point of no return.  She wants it, and she’s going to get what she wants.  Batten down the hatches and get ready for the ride!

Anyone with some advice or experience to relate, I’d love to hear it.  Send me an email or chat.  Thanks.

Cuckold at last

After 16 years of marriage and at least 12 years of begging my wife to cuckold me, the day is here at last.  First I had to explain it to her.  Then I had to reassure her repeatedly that this was all about her pleasure and that I was not looking for an excuse to cheat. Then, we fantasized about cuckolding scenarios for years and years but she always said she was not ready.  Then I bought a chastity device for me and gave her the keys.  She begrudgingly agreed to play along but she changed her tune when she found out how attentive the cage made me.  She slipped quickly and easily into the dominant role regarding the cage and keeps me locked up most of the time now.  She even wears the key around her neck on a necklace -- even to church or work.

Well, she finally found a guy that she is interested in at work.  She walked with him during lunch break, showed him her key, and told him that she was free to see whomever she wanted but she had me locked up.  He has been barking up her tree non-stop for the past 2 days now and she has indicated to me that my cuckold baptism is imminent.  She is loving all the attention.  She is trying to slow things down a little, but he is pursuing hard after her (rightly so!).  Regardless, she wants him and he wants her even more.  In all likelihood, she will suck another man’s cock next week for the first time during our marriage, and she will likely spread her legs for another man, take a strange cock inside her, pant and moan for another man’s cock, and feed me another man’s seed from her pussy by next weekend.

Ask away

Addicted

My wife told me the other day that she is getting "Addicted" to locking up my cock. She said she feels sad whenever it is free and that she can only be happy when it is locked up tight and she is playing with the key on her necklace... My current device can only stay on for about half a day. Since her happiness is dependent upon it, I think we may be looking for a 24/7 solution eventually. #HappyWifeHappyCuck

Women’s Work...

My wife told me yesterday -- while she was locking up my cock -- that it gets her wet to think about me being locked up doing all the chores traditionally assigned to women:  shopping, cooking, dishes, cleaning the house, laundry, etc. -- all of which she makes me do!  If I am lucky, my reward for doing everything to her satisfaction is that I get to lick her pussy and/or asshole.  #HappyCuckLife

When I introduced my wife to the idea of locking me up in a male chastity device, she was hesitant because she thought it was perverted, but she went along for my sake. That was then. Now, her mind has changed after locking me up for a week and wearing the key to work on her necklace; after giving me nothing but teasing all week while requiring me to give her head every day until she has mind-blowing orgasms; after giving me a list of chores every day and demanding (not asking) that I do them; and after a week of me doting on her like she has never known in our 16-year marriage (even when I was trying to woo her to marry me during our courtship), jumping to do her will immediately after her every command, and even begging her to allow me to do more to please her. Now she says of my chastity device "I love it! I would gladly have paid five times what they charged us. " Now, when I suggested that, since the week trial was over, she probably would choose to lock me up only on special occasions, rather than every day, she replied (with a sinister look on her face), "I don't know about that. You need to know that I have REALLY enjoyed how things went this past week..." This morning, when I asked if she was going to lock me up again this week, she grinned a sly grin and said "yes." Guess who's relationship just changed forever?...

We need to get this clock...

I want to be her