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8/4/17 lowkey rant

So yesterday me and my sister were talking and we ended up on the topic of thinspo because we were looking up studyspo and things like that for bullet journaling and she freaked out and though someone’s username said thinspo and she looked concerned and said she feels bad for those people who have accounts like that and that she’s worried about that because of how unhealthy it is and she thinks it’s so fucked up and I just kinda say there mute and not sure of what to say I think she notice because she kinda just pat my shoulder kinda like “it’s okay if you have/used to have that” I think that’s what she meant but Idk I’m continuously posting and reblogging this crap and I don’t want to get better I’ve been dedicated for about 2 and half weeks now (my ed has been up and down and obviously it’s really fucking down) but I want to be unhealthy thin I know it’s bad I know I’ll be basically killing myself but who cares I want to be thin I want it more than anything

I really need to see more content since I’m starting the blog over, so please reblog this if you’re an active thinspo blog so I can follow you!

100 calories

“It’s just 100 calories, it shouldn’t hurt too much”. Yes it’s only 100 calories but that’s 100 calories you could be burning instead of eating. That’s 100 extra calories away from your goal. That’s a whole 100 calories you need to burn off. So instead of thinking “it’s only 100 calories” think “by not eating this I will be 100 calories closer to where I want to be".

thin wrists, bony hands

Tonight I’m going out with my friend ! We’re probably gonna drink a beer, and then I’ll do some cardio

you know you’re fucked when you count eating normally as binging

I’ve watched girls nibble away at half an apple, diced into little chunks to make it last longer. That’s all she’ll eat today. I’ve watched girls drink five litres of water because ‘sometimes you’re not actually hungry, it’s just thirst’. I’ve watched girls drink tea like it’s liquid gold, to pinch their stomachs and feel sick at the sight of the rolls. I’ve watched girls exercise until they faint, until their hearts threaten to beat straight out of their chest because it’s the only way they feel loved. I’ve watched girls do mental calculations of how much they’ve eaten, 110 calories from a large apple, only 55 from half. I’ve watched girls cry in front of the mirror because they’ll never be size 6, never mind size 4, or 2, or 0. I’ve watched girls hide in bulky clothing when all they’ve ever wanted is to wear dresses that don’t cover everything up. I’ve watched them flinch when people say, “I like girls who have big appetites.” I’ve watched them smile when people say, “you’ve lost weight, haven’t you?” I’ve watched girls who hate themselves so much they refuse to accept affection. I’ve heard their silence when people comment on how little they are eating - they think: ‘at least now I don’t have a reason to look this way’. I’ve watched girls measure their worth by the gap between their thighs, gripping skin and bone, convinced it’s fat that can be burned. I’ve watched girls, living skeletons, who laugh and smile just like everyone else, who needed someone to lend them a little strength when they couldn’t find their own, for someone to reach out and say: ‘can’t you see you don’t need to do this to be beautiful? You don’t need to do this to be loved.

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #178 (via blossomfully)

think of what you would look like if you started and stayed consistent three months ago. now think of what you would look like three months from now if you just.keep.going.