Latest Posts by frighteningphallus - Page 4

I hate 2 say it but being a part of a “weird” subculture does not meaningfully inoculate you against a conservative moralizing impulse. You gotta unlearn that. Saying “cringe is dead” is not enough, you have to actually be okay with things that discomfort, perplex and/or disgust you.

i’m kind of obsessed with the censored version of this tbh. gonna crop it so it’s just the thumbs up so i can use it as a reaction image

good morning fat bitches and transgender women and internet perverts

Biodiversity is bad, actually. I think there should be one big bug that rules everything.

all hail games with the feature ‘this item has no use and is safe to sell’

i've never even seen a cigarett before. i'm 2 days old

A rest day isn't enough. I need one billion years alone in a crystal.

HINT: you can move my white ass using the arrow keys.

there is actually one reason i would willingly join the army and that's to desert my unit and betray my country on the eve of battle

(voice of a guy who is physically feeling nauseous from anxiety and stress caused by compounding responsibilities that are only getting worse due to his inability to initiate any of these tasks) i just need a fun little drinky drink

Published in “Transvestia” magazine #38 (April 1966). I think original art could be by Bob Tupper.

animated this heart eyes cat meme

30% off pixquare pixelart app with code 'tofu' 💕

pixelart guide | support me | commission me | buy a print | buy a sticker

fuck it sure

it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!

well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.

jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.

watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.

sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.

thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!

wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.

and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!

you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.

in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.

Happy Birthday Cinnamoroll! 🍰💙

i just need one more staff fragment and i can finally craft my staff of wolf lightning

haven't done my work but i did draw myself not doing my work. and the specter. not sure how this helps

10/10 dad joke

You've been a Good cast-iron pan. Let Mommy take care of you... I'm going to Rub Oil all over you and Bake you at 230°C and you're going to like it... Badly behaved Pans go into the dishwasher and get Scrubbed with a Metal Sponge.

I’m like the joker if he wasn’t the joker and didn’t do any of that stuff at all

"if you have the time/energy to do something you like, then you have the time/energy to do something you dislike" -people who have apparently never felt desire before, and have no idea how it works

having fun

One struggle 🫡

pins by Abprallen

Jimmy Wright, Ice Bear