gastrointestinal5pears

Latest Posts by gastrointestinal5pears

the family tree

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

do u guys think chilton would fall for a deez nuts joke be honest

Darling, you’re the one I want And I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

I HATE DISSS

i actually make myself laugh really hard so if no one else laughs it doesnt matter because i already made the most important person in the room laugh

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Love, in most cases, betrays the one feeling it.

i dont want to know how to read anymore 

wildest dreams: no one has to know what we do, his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room…

ready for it: no one has to know, in the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do…

notice how the intimate details are no longer there because she now feels like when he touches her he’ll never be alone and the ‘special’ moments they share won’t be so special once the world knows, and so she’s almost now dreaming of the love she’d always imagined she had…

Anyone who says that Taylor Swift can’t sing has obviously not had their ears blessed by Wildest Dreams live at the Grammy Museum. Here you go.

“cutie” and “babe” are overrated pet names for your significant other. try “leader of thunderclan” or “the fire that saved the clan” instead

me watching my own snapchat story: she is so damn funny i love her 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH

when you get annoyed by the sound of people eating

2018 looks

life sucks. i have no goth friends to dance under overpasses with

when i was 12 i got banned from yahoo answers and when i emailed support to be like “what did i do??” i got a really vague answer that just said “you know what you did” and it still haunts me to this day

i was speaking to a customer in Japanese once at work and my coworker overheard me and later in the break room he said to our other coworkers “man Andrew was over there speakin Naruto”

Forget the friendzone, tell him he’s the son you’ve always wanted.

dude i can’t believe we shared a vape and u won’t even hold hands with me ? bro .. are u embarrassed of me ? be honest

Every horse movie

Sarah aynn: “no one understands me I hate you Mom for making us move out here in the middle of no where there’s not even cute boys” *runs away and finds mysterious farm* Old man wilkinson: “this right here lil lady is a hourisey if yer can tame t it’s yoires if not it’s goin back to the horse factory” Sarsjh: *walks up to horse and starts to pet its nose* “see girl? You and me aren’t so different after all” Old man wonka: “why I don’t believe it she done tamed ol’ misery I reckon she ought to sign her up for the horuse show and save the farm” *cut scene of Sarah sneaking out the house to ride her horse everyday until her mom finds out* Mom: “young lady you are GROUNDED!!!! You are not allowed to compete in the horse show” Staryah: “no Mom please” *runs away and almost gets hit by car but then the horse pushes the car out the way" Mom: “fucjkfidnb maybe that’s a good horse after all”

Michael @ all of the survivors thirsting after him at the outpost

I will never not laugh at this