Latest Posts by gastrointestinal5pears - Page 2

that moment of intimacy with the person who adjusts your seat belt on a roller coaster

me whenever i have a cold: i can’t remember the last time i could breathe out of my left nostril…it must have been 14 years ago when i was a child on the farm..life was simpler back then….. i remember the sound of the creek over by that big rock.. when papa came home from the town bearing fresh yeast for ma to make bread with, i breathed in the crisp fall air through both nostrils before heading into the kitchen, where i could smell all of our spices 

buzzfeed: men try to put on lip gloss for the first time!!!! the men acting over the top trying to put on the lip gloss, and letting us know they don’t normally do this:

a foot fetishist told me my feet were weird at a party once. do you know how humiliating it is to have your feelings hurt by the foot dude

me finding out i was wrong about something: wow……another example of the mandela effect…..

person: no you’re not in a different universe you’re just wrong

me: oh man the berenstain universe sure is wild……..

Please don’t appropriate “I love bad boys” culture if you don’t have a crush on prince zuko, it’s really insensitive and we’re already experiencing enough intolerance and oppression as it is

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

me talking to a psychic: can you please tell me what I want?

Need to take a nap? Use this guide to help you decide how long you should rest! Just be sure to avoid the “bad nap”!

why did i have a customer that hole punched his credit card’s chip out, because “he didn’t want a chip”, and then didn’t understand why I couldn’t process his transaction

lιke ιf you sαved/lιked.

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

when one of ur mutuals becomes mutuals with another one of ur mutuals

Tears fill my eyes as I read the words on my screen. The world seems to stop spinning for the slightest second as I re-read the anonymous message over and over again, gripping on to the hope that the words will magically disappear. But they didn’t. Anon had done it; they’d figured out that the only way to make me take off my hijab was to call my hair ugly. My one weakness.

A tear streams down my left cheek.

Eight years of academy hijab training…wasted. I had to prove this extremely relevant and good-looking anonymous person wrong, I cared too much about what they thought. How could I live my life knowing that there is one person out there who thinks probably my hair is ugly maybe? How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I face my family? My shoulders shook as I cried silently, and my chair squeaked ever so slightly at the vibrations; as if it, too, was crying in sorrow.

It wasn’t until that moment that the second part of the message dawned on me… how would I prove them wrong without breaking the rules? Was it really against the rules? I reach into my hijab and pull out a scroll. At the very top, in cursive jet-black inked letters, the word ‘Rules’ stares back at me. My heart is racing as my eyes frantically read the scroll.

‘Rule #1: no killing people,’ it reads. I let out a whimper. There go my evening plans. 

Suddenly, my eye catches the next words. The scroll is rustling in my trembling hands as I turn my face away, tears spraying out of my eyes like the spit of a white person as they try to justify racism. The cursive words felt more like a curse of words, vivid and refusing to disappear as if I were still staring at them even through my closed eyes.

Rule #2: don’t show ur hair girl it’s ugly lmaooooo

a movie: *has one scene with neon lights*

me:

Don’t invite me to your wedding i will look better than you and it will be embarrassing for us both

Peter Parker, also known as the popular superhero ‘Spiderman’, is roughly 16-17 years old, meaning he was born in either 2001 or 2002. Contrary to popular belief, this place him firmly in the ‘Gen Z’ category, rather than the millennial category that many place him in. By extrapolating this information, we can conclude that Peter Parker not only knows what a furry is, but constantly has to grapple with the fact that his spider-centric identity is, in fact, his fursona. In this essay I will-

cant believe nessie is rly a 34 yr old accountant from akron, ohio

*me at 176 years old*

“ Y'all just wait on my glo”

short horror story: old picture of me