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Latest Posts by georgecauldron800 - Page 8
James earl jones has passed away at 93
James earl jones has passed away at 93
Please sign the petition!!!
Rest in Peace James Earl Jones. You truly were one of the best. 🫡
RIP Mr Jones 😢
Y'all, what the hell!
RIP JAMES EARL JONES
James Earl Jones, the revered actor who voiced ‘Star Wars’ villain Darth Vader, starred in ‘Field Of Dreams’ and many other films and is an EGOT winner, died this morning at his home in Dutchess County, NY. He was 93.
Read about his life and legacy here: https://tinyurl.com/3bf8zn25
Rest in peace to a legend😭
James Earl Jones, the revered actor who voiced ‘Star Wars’ villain Darth Vader, starred in ‘Field Of Dreams’ and many other films and is an EGOT winner, died this morning at his home in Dutchess County, NY. He was 93.
Read about his life and legacy here: https://tinyurl.com/3bf8zn25
If Glynda was in Volume 8
Ironwood: *Pulls his gun out to shoot Ruby*
Gun: *Is pulled from his hand*
Glynda: James! What are you doing!
Ironwood: Glynda!?
Glynda: I swear, I leave for a couple months and you suddenly forget your morals!
Ironwood: She lied to me! Ozpin Lied to me! She's defying orders!
Glynda: That doesn't give you grounds to shoot her- Step outside, get a drink of water, and let me handle this, JAmes! And get yourself a blanket, you're sleeping on the couch tonight!
Ironwood: But Glyn-
Glynda: Couch.
Ironwood: Honey-
Glynda: Couch!
Ironwood: Dear?
Glynda: Couch!
Ironwood: *sigh* Yes Ma'am ...
~~~~~
Ironwood: *Shoots Oscar off the platform*
Glynda: *Pulling him back up with her semblance* JAMES WHAT THE HELL!
Ironwood: He Betrayed our Trust!
Glynda: And?!?! He's trying to repair that Bridge! We can wait for retribution once Atlas is safe!
~~~~~
Glynda: *Fighting him for the revolver* James No!
Ironwood: They're getting in my way!
Glynda: Look, Declaring martial law, I understand, but shooting council members for having questions and concerns in not a reasonable Response!
~~~~~
Glynda: I haven't asked yet but what happened to your arm?
Ironwood: I was fighting ARthur Watts, and-
Glynda: Hardlight Trap?
Ironwood: Hardlight Trap.
Glynda: *Pinching the bridge of her nose* Goddamn it James.
Ironwood: I know, I know,"It can only happen so many times" But I swear I thought this one was going in a different direction than last time-
~~~~~
Yang: What do you-
Glynda: He's not usually this bad. He's actually quite sweet when he wants to be.
Yang: ...
Glynda: And he Fucks. So. Hard. Hard enough for me to forget the stresses of my day and just fall asleep against the Hard, hot, Broad chest~
Yang: Uh ... Neat.
Glynda: You asked the question and I answered it, like any teacher should for their student.
Ruby: Tell me the truth. I’m ready to hear it.
Jaune: I’ve been high on amphetamines and opioids every day of this year so far.
Uncle Lore
Cotta-Arc Family House, Living Room
Teen Adrian: *Reading a book on the couch*
Old Jaune: *Sits next to him* Adrian, what are you reading?
Teen Adrian: "The girl who fell through the world"
Old Jaune: Oh, I knew the author of that book.
Teen Adrian: Uncle Jaune, there's no way you knew the author.
Old Jaune: *Shows him a photo of him with Lewis*
Teen Adrian: *Looks at it* You Knew the author?! How?! *Turns to him*
Old Jaune: *Already sleeping on the sofa* Zzzzzzzz...
Ruby: Rubu, everyone is ready, and you haven't brought out a single platter of chocolate chips!
Rubu: Rubu in weeds...
Ruby: I'm starting to think that bakery experience on your resume isn't true at all!
Rubu: You wrote Rubu resume...
Ruby: Okay, that's fair.
Fright Knight: Prepare to face your fears, fools! Danny: Watch out guys, it's the Fright Knight! He can make any of our worst fears come to life! SpongeBob: I'll face him! I'm not afraid of anything! Timmy: What about gorillas? Jimmy: And robots? Danny: And butterflies? SpongeBob: C'mon guys, I'm not afraid of any of that! (In a flash of green light, a giant shadowed mass landed in front of SpongeBob. When it stood up and looked down at SpongeBob, SpongeBob saw it was a giant robot gorilla with the wings and head of a butterfly)
SpongeBob:
Ren: Why do all the Shipping Posts I'm in put me with Nora.
Ren: I mean, I know why, but Why is it pretty much ONLY Nora? I know Sunflowyr's decently Popular, and that Martal Arcs is generally liked, but practically all my Ship Art and Writings have me with Nora, even if It's Nora's Boys/Renorarc and Juniper Berries!
Ren: Where's the Ninjas in Love? White Lotus? Greek Lotus?
Ren: I swear, Oscar- Hell, WHITLEY Gets more Varied Ship attention than I do!
Ren: Where's my Harem Posts! When do I get to be Flanderized and twisted into a Womanizing sex-pot!
Ren: Like, it's not something I want, but I'd like to be more than just a comedic Straight man in the background!
Ren: ... What if I want to kiss Emerald on the lips ...
Theater Kid Belos AU
Rachel Zegler as Snow White Halle Bailey as Ariel Naomi Scott as Jasmine Emma Watson as Belle Lily James as Cinderella Elle Fanning as Aurora
Caduceus Vibes
Jaune: Why are you wearing women's clothes?
Mercury: Uh... Just because?
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Mercury: (Bridal carried by Jaune) Y'know, if the internet saw us right now, they would be having FITS!
Jaune: What are you talking about?
Mercury: We must go to different websites, I guess.
--------------------------------------------------
Mercury: (Tied up with Jaune) If you don't quit squirming, I'm going to "unload my shells" right into your "sword sheath"! And by sword sheath, I mean-
Jaune: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Mercury: WHAT?! I'm a red-blooded young adult male! It's friction and junk-ology and spandex grinding against leather and JUST PLEASE stop wiggling your bondage rope-
Jaune: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP SO I CAN THINK?!
Mercury: DON'T YELL AT ME! That's totally one of my turn-ons!
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Mercury: You saved me~!
Mercury: Just remember, anytime you need hole-filling-
Jaune: Aaand you ruined it!
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Jaune: We are NOT your dads!
Mercury: Don't listen to Daddy Arc, Kiddo~!
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Mercury: Oh no... You drank TOO MUCH succubus juice!
Jaune: (Dancing) Actually, this is the most free I've felt in MONTHS! GET UP HERE! That is, unless you're rhythmically challenged~!
Mercury: YOU DARE QUESTION MY MOVES?! Fine! These ladies want the Merc? (Dancing) THEY'RE GONNA GET THE MOUTH~!
Jaune: BRING IT!
Mercury: (Dancing against Jaune) You... You're really putting on a show, dude!
Jaune: This will never, EVER happen in my life again! I might as well enjoy it~!
Mercury: You sunshine-assed little maniac~! DANCE, YOU FOOL, DANCE~!
Cinder: How long do you think we can make them do this~?
Pyrrha: Until it bores us~.
Cinder: You're alright, Nikos.
--------------------------------------------------
Jaune: ...Why are you holding my hand?
Mercury: It helps me focus...
--------------------------------------------------
Jaune: (Holding Arkos art) Uh, what is this?
Mercury: (Yoink!) NOTHING! Just some fan-art~!
Artist: No, it's true! You were in love-
Mercury: Yeah, with me~!
Jaune: I don't know if I believe you.
--------------------------------------------------
Jaune: MERCURY?! Argh... Figures...
Oscar: I... I don't understand... The spell was supposed to summon your soulmate... I must have messed up the spell!
Jaune: Soulmates?! We're just friends, Oscar!
Mercury: That's what YOU think! But this proves otherwise. It's science!
Jaune: It's not science; it's magic!
Mercury: Oh, you old softie~! Looks like this spell worked juuust fine~!
"Happy Birthday, Jaune"
1 Year Old
Mama Arc: We love you. (Walks out)
Jaune: (Asleep in crib)
Brother of Light: (Takes blanket) The first of many very happy birthdays, Little Jaune.
Jaune: WWAAAAAAAAAAA
Mama Arc: What is it, honey?
Papa Arc: Where'd his blanket go? He literally just had it FIVE MINUTES ago.
Mama Arc: I don't know!
5 Years Old
Jaune: Mama, can I stop having birthdays? The monster won't come if it's not my birthday.
Mama Arc: Jaune, there is no monster. Your father is going to be here with your sisters and the cake, and you're all going to have fun and-
CRUNCH!
Mama Arc: What was that?
Mama Arc: (Sees crushed vehicle) NOOOOOO!
Jaune: THE MONSTER! THE MONSTER DID IT!
16 Years Old
Jaune: (Stirs)
Scroll: Happy birthday, baby~! Can't wait to see you~! XOXO~!
Jaune: (Reaches, Gets up) AGH!
Brother of Light: Am I still surprising you, Jaune? You have a girlfriend.
Jaune: Please, why are you doing this? Nobody believes me-
Brother of Light: Silence. (Taps on scroll, Tosses) There's no way you're coming back after THAT comment. What a horrid boyfriend you are.
Jaune: I didn't-
Scroll: WHAT THE FUCK, JAUNE?! We are so over! DROP DEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!
Jaune: Please, why-
Brother of Light: Happy birthday.
21 Years Old
Jaune: (Surrounded by dead bodies, Holding cup)
Brother of Light: Don't drink that. Happy birthday.
25 Years Old
Jaune: (Standing in front of burning Beacon)
Brother of Light: Was this the academy you were going to? Happy birthday.
27 Years Old
Brother of Light: Happy birthday, Jaune.
Jaune: You got me fired?!
Brother of Light: No, this was just bad luck.
Jaune: Then-
Brother of Light: Your cat is dead.
30 Years Old
Jaune: ...He has to tell me. He has to tell me why. He won't stop. I know that. But if I can just get him to say why-
Jaune: It's already midnight... He... He missed it? But-
TV: Breaking news! The Brother of Light has been banished by Remnant's greatest huntress team!.
Jaune: (Smiles) He missed my birthday.
31 Years Old
Jaune: YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY~! DUNNA NUNNA NAH NAH NA NAH~!! WELL IT'S-
Brother of Light: Well, it's my birthday, too~. Yeah~!
Jaune: NO.
Brother of Light: No, you're right. It's not. I'm so sorry I missed you last year, Jaune. I promise it will NEVER happen again.
Jaune: Why?! Why?! PLEASE, WHY DO YOU DO THIS?!
Brother of Light: I love these meetings. There is nothing more important to me. Do you understand that? Let me make up for missing last year. (Snaps!)
Brother of Light: (Creates black hole under home) Happy birthday.
45 Years Old
Brother of Light: Jaune. Happy birthday. Ugh. Not a lot to work with anymore, is there?
Jaune: Light.
Jaune: You've tormented me for every year of my life, and for a long time, all I wanted to know was why.
Brother of Light: Mhm.
Jaune: But lately, I've started thinking. Why do YOU think I'll keep sticking around for all of this? Why don't I just kill myself, right? That's why. You want to see how far you can push a person. I know what you do the rest of the year. You're gone, either threatening Remnant or some other world yet unknown. You KILL huntsmen and huntresses! But every year, you come back to me. So I'm going to tell you why I hang on, why I keep living despite everything you've done to me. To the people I love.
Jaune: I wake up every day and-
Brother of Light: (Creates hole in ceiling)
Brother of Light: (Creates flood in Jaune's home)
Brother of Light: (Walks out) No, Jaune. I don't care. See you next year.
THE END
Requested by @cheeseeater2
[REDACTED] Moments
Adam: Watch where you walkin', [REDACTED]!
Tyrian: 'Ey, what'chu say, [REDACTED]?
Blake: Watch closely. You're about to watch a [REDACTED] moment.
Adam: (Grips Wilt & Blush) What did you say, bitch-[REDACTED]?!
Tyrian: (Whips out Queen's Servants) 'Ey, squeeze it, [REDACTED]!
Blake: An event occurs which causes Faunus to act in an irrational, illogical, self-destructive manner. I-E, like a [REDACTED].
Blake: [REDACTED] moments are unpredictable, but it seems there is one group that is safe from the carnage that ensues from its occurence.
Adam: Watch where you walkin', [REDACTED]!
Jacques: What did you-
Jacques: Hey, wait a minute! I'm human! Ha ha ha ha~!
Jacques: (Walks away, Sips coffee happily)
Adam: HEY! Where are you going?! This is the perfect opportunity for you to throw your life away!
Persemblance
1 / 2 / (3) / 4
So, you decided to watch the midnight channel.
Blake: Guess who's wearing her kitty panties~!
Neptune: (Via scroll) DUUUUUUUUUUUDE~!.
--------------------------------------------------
Coal's & Son's
Neptune: Yo! I got some stuff out of my closet~!
PFFFT!
Neptune: Guess what's better than a rake~!
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Vasilias Residence
Neptune: DAAAD! WHERE DO WE KEEP THE RAILGUNS?!
Papa Vasilias: HALL CLOSET!
Neptune: OKAY, COOL!
--------------------------------------------------
Neptune: Hey, everyone! I LOVE RAILGUNS~!
Police: ...
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I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS.
Qrow: (Sips coffee)
Neptune: (Muttering) Lame ass railguns...
--------------------------------------------------
Neptune: Okay, so, apparently, bringing a weapon into a food court is against the law now...
Clover: Speaking of against the law, WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT MURDERS~?!
Clover: Don't tell anyone I said this, buuut Blake Belladonna missing and we kiiinda think she's the killer.
Neptune: Huh?!
Clover: Yeah, and-
Qrow: (Dynamic Entry!)
--------------------------------------------------
Then, at a weapon's shop...
Neptune: Wow, Yang! Glad you know about a place like this! Now we just need to figure out a way to get into Coal's without getting arrested.
Yang: Hey! No one will notice if we hide them under our uniforms!
--------------------------------------------------
CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!
Yang: Whoa~! It's a castle!
Somewhat: It might be dangerous in there, so we'll need to be carefu-
Yang: HERE I GOOOOOO~!
Somewhat: Wait, what?
Neptune: OH, WHAT THE HELL, YANG?!
?Blake?: (Sighs) Yang is the best friend ever~!
Yang: Blake?!
?Yang?: Oh, I'm sorry! Was that Blake just now?
Yang: Huh?
?Yang?: I dunno! I don't speak SKANKY WHORE.
Neptune: (Eating popcorn)
Somewhat: (Eating popcorn)
Yang: Wh-What?! That's not how I think of her at all!
?Yang?: Yeah, whatever! Terrible friend...
Yang: NO! YOU'RE NOT ME!
DOMINATRIX BIKER GIIIRL~! GARU! Then Yang got a persona.
Yang: Neat~! Okay! Let's go save Blake!
Yang: YAAA- (Falls over)
--------------------------------------------------
Qrow: So, when can I expect an explanation for why you and some kid from school had swords at the food court today?
Qrow: I mean, I AM a detective and we ARE investigating a MURDER right now-
Ruby: Uncle Qrow, are you two fighting?
Qrow: Ruby-
Ruby: UNCLE QROW, WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?! STOP FIGHTING! STOP FIGHTING! YOU PROMISED YOU'D STOP FIGHTING!
--------------------------------------------------
Goodwitch: Hello, this is Glynda. You know, the really pissed off looking woman who hangs with Ozpin.
Oh, okay. You wondered how she got your scroll-
Goodwitch: Okay, I know your friend is going to die in a few days, but you really need to join a sports club, so get on that.
CLICK!
--------------------------------------------------
Okay! It's sportsclub time! There's basketball and soccer! Let's check them out!
Marrow: Hey! I'm Marrow Amin! You know what I like? Balls.
Marrow: I LOOOVE THEM BALLS~!
Marrow: You need me to throw balls at you guys? 'Cause I've got all kinds of balls~!
???: Dude, you gotta stop polishing those balls!
Marrow: I CAN'T STOP, MAN! THESE BALLS ARE ON FIRE! RAAAGH!
You decided not to join a sports club.
Marrow: Hey, wait, come back~!
--------------------------------------------------
SOCIAL LINK GO!
Neptune: (Chewing) Dude, this steak is awesome.
RANK UP!
--------------------------------------------------
HEY! You're not done! Go join a culture club! You decided to check out the band first.
Velvet: Who wants to help me overcome my SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES?!
You decided to join drama.
Velvet: NOOOO~! SENPAAAI~!
--------------------------------------------------
Okay, enough screwing around! Let's go save Blake!
Neptune/Somewhat/Yang: YAAAY~!
?Blake?: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Yang: There she is! I wonder what deep, dark secrets Blake's been hiding from us all this time...
?Blake?: I don't like being forced to inherit my family's business~.
Blake: NOOO! HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE NOT ME!
IT'S SYMBOLIC~!
Grimm Blake: CA-CAAAW!
BUFU!
Grimm Blake: SHIT!
Yang: (Hugging Blake, Sobbing) I'M SO SORRY, BLAKE~!
Blake: (Hugging Yang, Sobbing) I LOVE YOU, YANG~!
Blake has obtained the person, Bumba- Bamble- FUCK IT.
Somewhat: Now who wants to get naked~?
Neptune: Okay, guys, let's head back so Blake can get some rest.
Yang: Yeah~!
--------------------------------------------------
Qrow: Ruby, I'm home!
Ruby: !!!
Qrow: And I brought this strange man from work with me!
Ruby: ...
Clover: So I heard somebody wanted to talk about MURDERS~! Because don't tell anyone I said this, buuut-
Qrow: (Backhands)
--------------------------------------------------
You met all your friends after school to discuss Blake's kidnapping.
Yang: Blake, do you remember anything about when you were kidnapped?
Blake: No.
RANK UP!
Neptune: Now let's celebrate by eating other people's food!
Neptune: CHOMP!
Yang: WHAT-
Neptune: Shut up! I'm buying you steak!
Blake: M... My... fried... to... fu...
Neptune: Uh, Blake?
Blake: My fried tofu... My fried tofu! My fried tofu! MY FRIED TOFU! MY FRIED TOFU!
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Somewhat: Blake-chwan~! I made you these glasses!
Blake: I'm still mad.
Blake: (Puts on glasses) PFFFFHAHAHAHA! YOU ALL LOOK SO RIDICULOUS! THESE ARE THE BEST GLASSES EVER! YANG, YOU HAVE TO WEAR THESE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
... Shut up. It's an endearing character trait.
--------------------------------------------------
Qrow: So, uh, I might be able to get the weekend off.
Ruby: (Gasps) Does this mean we can go on a trip?!
Qrow: Anywhere you want, kiddo!
Ruby: YAAAY~! THIS TRIP IS GONNA BE THE BEST EVER AND I'M GONNA PACK UP ALL MY STUFF AND WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE BEACH AND LOOK AT CRABS AND GO SWIMMING AND I'M SO EXCITED THAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND-
RIIING~!
Ruby: Oh, that must be Uncle Qrow! (Answers) Hello, Uncle Qrow?
Ruby: ...Mhm?
Ruby: ...
Ruby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~! (Slam)
Qrow: Hey, uh, you know how I said we were gonna go on a trip for the weekend? Uh... J-Just kidding~!
Qrow: (Throbbing music behind him) It's, uh... official police business. Can't talk about it.
--------------------------------------------------
Neptune: Hey, don't take it so hard, Ruby!
Neptune: IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR MOM IS DEAD OR ANYTHING!
Ruby: WHA?!
Neptune: So, who wants soda?
Blake: Ha ha~!
--------------------------------------------------
Hey, you wanna hang out at the train station? Whoops! The train station actually sucks. Now check out this sweet dog!
Zwei: (Barks)
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Qrow: Happy Children's Day, Ruby~! Here, I got you something~!
Ruby: !!!
Ruby: (Holds up baby boy clothes) Oooh, a t-shirt! (Holding in tears) W-Wow, look at the f-funny design! Ha ha ha ha! Y-Yay!
Qrow: You like it? I got it on sale!
Qrow: I got you something, too!
Opening the bag, you find a very small speedo with the words "Cute Pie" on one side.
Qrow: (Gives thumbs up)
--------------------------------------------------
Yang: Hey, Neptune, exams are coming up!
Neptune: Aw, maaan~! Hey, Blake, maybe we could study togeth- URGH!
Blake: (Recovers fist from hitting his face) Oh, I'm sorry! You meant studying, weren't you? I had no idea!
Neptune: Why...
--------------------------------------------------
Mid-Terms start today! Did you study hard? What number comes after 2? a. 1 b. 5 c. 10 d. 3
Neptune: (Thinking) CRAPCRAPCRAP CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP
--------------------------------------------------
SOCIAL LINK GO! Happy drama funtime!
???: Your mom is in the hospital.
Whitley: AAAAAAAAH! I HATE MY DAAAD!
And then going to drama got REALLY awkward.
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TV: Tonight! Biker gangs! In YOUR neighborhood!.
Ruby: Yaaay~!
Cardin: GET BENT GET BENT GET BENT
Qrow: Hey, that's Cardin Winchester. He should be in school.
Sounds like your next party member! You should watch the Midnight Channel.
--------------------------------------------------
Neptune: Okay, let's discuss what we saw on the midnight channel-
Blake: HA HA HA HA YANG YOU ARE SOOO FUNNY HEE HEE HEE!
--------------------------------------------------
You watched again while eating Ruby's science homework.
Cardin: (Appears on screen)
Neptune: (Via scroll) Hey, do you have any idea who that was just now because I-
"It's Cardin, you idiot."
Neptune: Oh. By the way, Yang or Blake? Which one is your type?
STEAKSTEAKSTEAKSTEAKSTEAKSTEAK
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yang Blake Both >Can I wait until I have more girls to choose from?<
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Emerald: DID SOMEBODY SAY GIRLS?!
Emerald: Because I'm a boy, just so you know.
Emerald: Mr. Winchester, let us engage in gentlemanly things.
Cardin: Are you hitting on me?
Neptune: Cardin's planning something with that weird boy!
You should check it out!
Neptune: Okay!
Neptune: Alright, guys! Who's ready for a stakeout?!
Yang: WHO SAID STEAK?!
Neptune: We should split into teams.
Who do you want to go with? >Yang< Blake Neptune NO. You don't have a social link with Blake yet!
Blake: HA HA!
Blake: BOYSBOYSBOYSBOYSBOYSBOYS
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Neptune: Wow... We totally stand out...
Yang: Please get off my back.
Cardin: What are you guys doing?
Neptune: Watching you hang out with a dude!
Yang: Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Neptune: Yeah, I mean, if you like dudes.
Cardin: YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES?
Neptune/Yang: ...
And then there was a wacky chase scene!
Neptune/Yang: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Cardin: NOOO, COME BACK, I LOVE GIRLS!
Neptune: Hey, but can we ask you something?
Cardin: What?
Neptune: Has anything... strange happened to you lately?
Cardin: Strange? YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES?
Cardin: TAKIN' YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAA
You know what? Let's just stick to the midnight channel.
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Blake: (Via scroll) Hey, Cardin's gone missing! What do you think?
Eh, I dunno >He's in the TV< You wanted to say that, but you didn't have enough COMMON SENSE.
Blake: Let's be extra careful!
Okay, okay! Watch the midnight channel already!
Cardin: I'm Cardin Winchester and I enjoy naked men~. Oh yeah~.
Neptune: !!!
. . .
Yang: Hello, Whitley, is your mother home~?
Whitley: Are you gonna come in and objectify my mommy?
Yang: What?! No way, man! What, you think I'm gonna do it because everyone else comes by here and does it AND she's hot AND she's the only person in this franchise we can confirm is an adult, so it's not even that worrying, AND she's cool with it for the legal reason, I'd like to clarify, she's cool with it? No, I wouldn't do that!
Whitley: So you promise not to grab her boob? With permission? I was clarified for legal reasons she gave you permission but I don't want you to do it, so are you okay not doing it then?
Yang: Yeah, I just came to get a glass of sugar, or some shit, I dunno. Yeah, let me in~!
Whitley: Okay, but as long as you-
Yang: (HONK! HONK!) SEE YA! (Blasts off)
Whitley: GOD DAMMIT, FIFTIETH MAN IN A ROW TO DO IT!
Willow: (Robotically) With permission.
Whitley: DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THIS IS FOR MY DEVELOPMENT?! I'M, LIKE, ONE MINUTE OLD!
Ruby: It's okay, Whitley. I have problems with my mommy, too.
Whitley: Really? What?
Ruby: She's fucking dead.
Whitley: Oh yeah...
RWBY Gone Woke
Jaune: (Tied up) Damn you, Adam! When I get out of here, I'll-
Adam: You'll do what, human? "Save the day"? I don't think even YOU could stop me now!
Jaune: We'll see about (Breaks free) THAT!
Adam: Dammit, she's free!
Jaune: That's just a taste of what I've got! And now to finish this! (Pulls out gun)
Adam: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out, time out!
Jaune: What?
Adam: You've been carrying a gun this whole time?!
Jaune: Of course I have a gun. I'm a huntsman.
Adam: And with- With this gun, you planned to shoot me?
Jaune: ...Yes.
Adam: Wow! Wow, that- That- That's crazy, man!
Jaune: How is it crazy?
Adam: No punching? No shield tossing? Just- You were gonna just shoot me?!
Jaune: Yeah, that's why I'm here. We- We're fighting, you know. You're a wanted criminal. What, did you think we were fighting this whole time just for me to wag my finger at you?
Adam: It just comes off a little extreme, don't you think?
Jaune: ...You're a terrorist.
Adam: Ah! There it is! Everyone I disagree with is a terrorist!
Jaune: YES! You're the leader of a terrorist organization!
Adam: Aw~! Baby's first buzzwords!
Jaune: You're literally a racial supremacist.
Adam: Oh, it must be so scary, being so far out of your human echo chamber~!
Jaune: Oh, fuck off! Alright, open wide.
Adam: Wait, wait, wait!
Jaune: What?!
Adam: ...So you won't even debate me?
Jaune: ...What?
Adam: You don't even want to have an honest debate with me?
Jaune: An honest debate?
Adam: What, are you too afraid?
Jaune: What is there to debate?! You're a terrorist!
Adam: Then why not debate me?!
Jaune: Why would I- Fine! Fine! I'll debate you! What are we debating?
Adam: ...
Adam: You're trying to trap me.
Jaune: HOW?
Adam: Oh, you'll twist my [SAMPLE TEXT] and make me look like the bad guy, aren't you?
Jaune: YOU'RE WEARING A MASK SHAPED AFTER A GRIMM! YOU ALREADY LOOK LIKE THE BAD GUY!
Adam: You know what you have? You have this "woke mind virus" that's been floating around!
Jaune: The fuck are you talking about?!
Adam: I'm sorry to say this, but you're brainwashed. You won't even hear the other side!
Jaune: ALRIGHT, ENOUGH! I see where this is going, and I get it, okay? Woke. Terrorist. I get it. This is all very political, but I don't really care. But you know what? There's one point you made that I kind of agree with; violence doesn't have to be the immediate answer.
--------------------------------------------------
Later, at the combination taco/chicken place...
Adam: Oh my god, you are so right... This is amazing...
Jaune: A taco in one hand, a bucket of mashed potatoes in the other. THAT'S what I think everyone should be free to enjoy!
Adam: I- And I'm not joking when I say this, but when I took just one bite of this with a sip of this iconic soft drink and now my entire ideology has completely changed! I am no longer filled with violence and spite! I believe in... in good shit now! I believe in the popular opinion!
Jaune: Man, that- That is fucking fantastic to hear...
Adam: Isn't it?
Jaune: I was worried that I was going to have to paint the walls with red- with your blood, y'know?
Adam: Yes, my blood is red.
Jaune: And now we're just chillin'! I mean, this is like a reference for me!
Adam: It's good!
Jaune: It's very good!
Adam: Would you like a sip of my iconic soft drink?
Jaune: Nah, sorry, I don't actually like that stuff-
Adam: (Whips out weapon) YOU SON OF A WHORE!
Jaune: WHATAREYOUNOTGONNADEBATE MENOW?! AREYOUNOTGONNA DEBATEME?!
Goodwitch: Alright, class, it's time for some basic math.
Goodwitch: If 55 people are inside of a burning building, and you save 50, how many people still need to save?
Jaune: How many of them are Christian?
Goodwitch: Why does that matter?
Jaune: Well, if they haven't accepted our lord and savior, then should we really save them?
Goodwitch: What?! Of course we still have to save them!
Ruby: Hold on! Jaune has a point. How do we know the remaining people aren't criminals?
Goodwitch: It doesn't matter. It's still our duty to save them.
Nora: Wait, if we're saving criminals, then does that mean we're villains?
Goodwitch: Look, this isn't a question of morality. It's just basic math. What's 55 minus 50?
Blake: 21?
Goodwitch: (Scoffs, Sighs) Get out.
Blake: Aaaw...
Yang: I SAY WE LET THEM ALL BURN!
Goodwitch: For fuck's sake, take the burning building out of the question! Just the math!
Yang: THE MATH CAN BURN, TOO!
Goodwitch: Jesus Christ... Can anyone answer this question?
Weiss: Ma'am, it's five!
Goodwitch: Correct.
Yang: Fucking nerd!
Weiss: Hey!
Yang: What are you gonna do, washboard? Ice-skate at me?!
Class: FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!
Goodwitch: ...This class is doomed...
Ozpin's Last Resort
Adam: This is the end, "Headmaster". Your students won't be coming to save you now!
Ozpin: Maybe so, but don't count me out just yet.
Adam: You don't scare me, Ozpin. Do your wor-
Ozpin: (Uses "recall" spell)
Adam: (Reliving worst day of his life) NO! Not this... Anything but this! DON'T MAKE ME RELIVE THIS!
Ozpin: That's what you get- What do you mean "relive this"?
Adam: I can't believe you'd put me back in those damned dust mines! How dare you use those memories against me!
Ozpin: Oh, so those are your memories?
Adam: What do you mean?! You just showed them to me!
Ozpin: I remember a few years ago, when I was traveling, I scanned them from somewhere and thinking, "Wow, that's heavy!" And stuck that puppy in my back pocket to keep in reserves for emergencies like this!
Adam: Wait, so you didn't pull up my memories of the dust mines from my head? You just had that entire thing on standby?!
Ozpin: Pretty much.
Adam: ...THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Ozpin: YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME!
Adam: You were using my memories of the dust mines as a weapon! How many other people have you done this to?!
Ozpin: Alright, let's calm down. Take a breath.
Adam: You made me relive the entirety of the dust mines! Like I was actually there!
Ozpin: Oh, how would you know that?
Adam: BECAUSE I WAS ACTUALLY THERE!
Ozpin: Well, we'll just call that a happy coincidence!
Adam: What coincidence?! They're MY memories!
Ozpin: Yeah, and it worked, didn't it?
Adam: BECAUSE YOU MADE ME RELIVE THE DUST MINES!
Ozpin: I feel like you're downplaying the effectiveness of this. L-Let me show you.
Yang: Professor Ozpin, what's going on in here-
Ozpin: DUST MINES!
Yang: ARGH! FUCKING DUST MINES!
Pyrrha: Hey, is everything okay-
Ozpin: TWENTY YEARS AGO!
Pyrrha: OH MY GOD!
Ozpin: See? C'mon, it's pretty effective!
Adam: You sick human fuck!
Cardin: Yo, Prof! Everything alright? What's going on in-
Ozpin: (Uses "recall")
Cardin: (Unfazed)
Ozpin: Huh? (Uses again)
Cardin: ...
Ozpin: Huh... For some reason, it's not working on you, Mr. Winchester.
Cardin: What? The dust mines thing? N-No, it worked. I saw it.
Adam: You did?
Cardin: Yeah.
Adam: ...That's it? That's all you have to say?
Cardin: What?
Adam: You're just brushing off someone implanting the entire experience of a dust mine survivor in your brain?
Cardin: W-Well, come on, dude! I knew it wasn't real!
Adam: Oh, so he's done this to you before!
Cardin: N-No, I didn't know he could do that.
Ozpin: What did you know wasn't real? The visions or the dust mines?
Cardin: Oh! Pssh! You know!
Adam: No, I don't think I do.
Cardin: Y-Y'know...
Ozpin: The dust mines were a real thing! You saw them just now! You just experienced it!
Cardin: Yeah- Yeah, yeah, but y-y'know that wasn't- I knew it wasn't real!
Ozpin: The visions or the dust mines?!
Cardin: Y- Y- Y'know... Y'know...
Adam: ...Some outstanding students you have, Ozpin.
Ozpin: (Uses "recall")
Adam: (Writhing on the ground)
Ozpin: SAY UNCLE! SAY UNCLE!
