heartsofember

Latest Posts by heartsofember

“Maybe, he thought, there aren’t any such things as good friends or bad friends- maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you’re hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they’re always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. Maybe even worth dying for, too, if that’s what has to be.”

wxlksxflxfx​  /  scorpius malfoy * !!

“Who would want that?” Scorpius commented, laughing once more. He wasn’t sure who the person in front of him was, but he was thankful for them. Even in the short conversation they had so far, it was starting to make him feel better about the day. Listening to them, the young wizard couldn’t help but tilt his head in thought before speaking. “Are you just some mysterious person who walks around town granting everyone with some grand wisdom?” He asked, letting out a smaller laugh this time. “But you’re right. Going around and learning more about the town might actually help me out.” 

・・・・・・

                    luna’s genuine grin only widened all the more, a meek shake of her head. “i wish i was that cool. && had all the knowledge of the world at my disposal.” if they did, they certainly would then understand the mysteries of this place, be reunited with their father && chosen family once again. “but i probably just people watch more than most. && i like to read. books have a lot of wisdom. even books of fiction can have valuable lessons in them.” expression turned sincere, “i hope you do find whatever it is you’re looking for. or it finds you, life tends to work out that way too. don’t worry, that’s the last bit of wisdom i have left.” luna jested with a slight, warm chuckle. “i’m luna lovegood. thanks you know, for talking with me.”

wxlksxflxfx​  /  bill denbrough * !!

“I’m blaming Richie. Sounds like a kind of fuck up he would do.” Bill replied, shrugging his shoulders at the thought. He loved his friends to pieces, but he was well aware of who was usually the fuck up and who wasn’t. Although, the answer to that question was all of them. “But see, is it as shitty as Derry? I mean, if you really think about it, how did people never notice the pattern? Hell, Ben found it in a few weeks of living there.” Bill sighed before his head moved back and forth. “He’s an alien of some sort. Mike was able to figure out the ritual and everything about it. But beating him was easy once we were able to figure out how to do it. It just took us a while to figure it out.” 

・・・・・・

                    bev sighed in frustration, at the situation, at knowing next to nothing, for once again bill made a great point. “true. && for him to know that means this place can’t be under a curse, not like derry’s at least. none of the adults knew what was going on.” mouth dried the more they spoke of It,  f e a r  just as It always wanted. but it was important to know, to push past those feelings in attempts at understanding. “alien ??” puzzled, but it made more sense than anything else she thought of. “then we just have to figure it out again.” a bleak smile, nonetheless eyes turned warm && comforting a second later. “don’t try to stress yourself out too much. i know, words don’t mean much, but i feel like we’ll get this. don’t know how, but we will cause we’re all here && together.”

xesotericconundrumx​  /  lulu * !!

lulu looked up and at the man and swallowed back her tears and tried to smile at the joke. it was a weak attempt and past her would have loved that pun. she nodded, “yeah better then spilled milk.” gathering up some things in her arms the blonde nodded vigorously. “i’m fine. really. you ever just have one of those days when you know it’s all going to be toppling down but you don’t know what gonna push it.” that was her every day life. “I really should just get reusable bags at this point. but my cart is broken so one thing at a time ya know.”

・・・・・・

                    a slight nod, he may not know exactly what the other was going through, but the feeling was familiar. frankly, he wouldn’t admit that to anyone who actually knew him. mike munroe was supposed to always be on top of the world. more often than not he felt like he was missing something, or that maybe he wasn’t doing what he should. “there’s always hope for a better tomorrow, that’s probably what i’m supposed to say. i’ll keep my fingers crossed that’s the case for you. but as for your cart i could take a look at it if you think it’s salvageable. i don’t know a lot about fixing things but i do like to try to figure shit out.”

I’m not afraid of you!

                    after what feng && the others had gone though, she didn’t want to take anything for granted ever again, including public library wifi even if it was never the best. it felt a little more familiar than some of the other places, most like an internet cafe feng supposed. she enjoyed the sense of COMMUNITY places like this brought to a city. no matter how big there was always a few people sharing commonalities. while ivywood certainly wasn’t home it was better than the fog, than waiting around that damn campfire for whatever nightmare would occur in the next trial. FREE WILL — feng almost forgot what it truly felt like. at the other’s call feng jumped — as she did with all unexpected noises, always on edge before attempting to shrug it off. she followed an aisle that led to the other, nodding her head in greeting. “hi. do you work here ??”

anneliese wasn’t sure what brought her here to ivywood, but she was sure her mother was worried sick about her, and so was julian. she just wanted to get home, but the problem was that she didn’t know how. so she made the most of it. she’d gotten a job at a local library, and she was working toward buying herself an apartment to live in until she could get back to her hometown. there were times when she wasn’t even sure she wanted to go back if given the chance, as she’d grown resentful of living in a palace and having the duties and responsibilities of a princess. but… she knew she’d miss her mother too much to just abandon her. she was currently nestled in the local library where she worked, reading a science book about charles darwin. her mother would’ve had a heart attack if she’d caught anneliese reading about evolution, but the princess found it, and science in general, captivating. she was at a specific part, really honed in, when, suddenly, she heard the familiar chime of the bell as someone presumably walked in and soon felt eyes on her. “…hello?” she called out, just in case there was actually someone there.

Jake: that’s a pretty rock, Dwight

Dwight: thanks! Feng gave it to me

Feng: I threw it at you

Dwight: She’s very sweet

fadedlustre​  /  luke skywalker * !!

at least it wasn’t just his mind playing tricks on him. or maybe it was the force guiding him to where he needed to be, even if he didn’t know it. luke gave the man, finn, a small smile and nodded. “uh, yeah, doesn’t mean a whole lot right now, i have to admit,” he agreed, but he could feel the man was telling the truth. he was starting to learn to trust the force his gut again. “i’m luke. or, i guess you already know that.” since the other man seemed to have his memories. so he knew his sister, and they were fighting… something. “wait, did you say a different time? what, are we from the future?” that might take a little explaining to do when it came to ezra. 

・・・・・・

                    the other’s smile was easily returned, meekly shrugging his shoulders. “to be fair, you didn’t look like you do now when i knew you. but i’m pretty sure i’d know you anywhere.” whether that be from the force or his own wishful thinking. “this system marks time differently than we did. but based on what little tech they have i’d say probably so. no ships, at least ones like ours, no droids. they’re all human too. which considering there aren’t any wookiees who always win at dejarik maybe it’s a good thing.” finn smiled, but it was slight, a bit bittersweet. he wouldn’t mind seeing chewie again, any of them. “but i haven’t seen any evidence of —” dark forces, “— of anything bad, besides the whole barrier thing of course. so whatever is going on, i think it’s something we haven’t faced before.”

fadedlustre​  /  mike hanlon * !!

“real actual silverware? damn, bev, you’re putting me to shame,” he teased back, shaking his head. he’d been here longer than some of the other losers, but he had to admit, he’d never fully settled in. he’d been waiting for something to happen, never knowing what. but now… maybe he could begin to settle down. he shrugged, looking down at his mug. “yeah, been here a little longer than the rest of you. it’s really not all that different to derry. quieter, somehow.” not as scary in other ways, like a lack of alien clowns, and significantly less odd looks when he walked around. “gotta have the good times while they’re here. maybe we can take actual swimming gear to the lake this time,” he laughed.

・・・・・・

                    “don’t feel shame. i will never be the prime example of an adult, ever.” usual grin remained at his words, even if the mere mention of derry always rose goosebumps along her arms. “you’re right as usual, hanlon. it’s weird ... after living anywhere besides derry it’s even easier to see how fucked it was. children going missing shouldn’t feel fucking NORMAL.” ginger brows furrowed, a slight shake of the head to rid herself of those thoughts, to focus on what positives could be found. “oh hell yeah. no we’re really talking. snorkels, goggles, all of it. maybe the water will actually be clear enough to see shit in.” dirty water, another lovely thing about derry. “i just hope they’re more good times ...” words trailing off, curiosity getting the best of her as it usually did. “—have you, i don’t know, remembered anything new ??”

{ meng ziyi, cis woman, she/her } have you heard that ( feng min ) from ( dead by daylight ) appeared in town?  i know, i can’t believe it either.  she is ( twenty-one ) years old and is a ( professional gamer ).  I’ve heard that she has a tendency to be ( competitive & adaptable ) and ( fickle & calculating ), and they have ( all ) of their old memories.

BASICS

name: feng min nicknames: shining lion, min, lone wolf age: 21 astrological sign: virgo hometown: beijing, china height: 5′ 2″ occupation: professional gamer gender  /  pronouns: cis woman  /   she/her orientation: raging lesbian

PAST

{ tw: horror themes ( pretty much everything is in dbd, so please be mindful <3 ), alcoholism, neglect }

feng found video games at a young age. she loved the fact that she could become anyone she wanted. hours turned into days spent online && eventually her parents attempted to put a stop to it. they wanted feng to focus on her studies, to do something productive with her time. feng however saw how technology was changing, how there was a future in video games. in turn feng spent most of her time in internet cafes, pushing herself to get better && in turn slowly gained a following through streaming && competitions. 

respect — something she never had from her parents but did in the gaming world. less time was spent at home, only seeing her family on the holidays && even then she wished the time away. as the shining lion, her nickname && gamer tag, she was invited into a prestigious e-gaming team called the laser bears. a chosen family, they traveled the world, filled up stadiums with fans together && separately. 

but feng soon became obsessed, aiming for nothing less than perfection. she barely slept, with that her performance suffered. it got to her more than she let on, losing. she felt like she was not only losing competitions, but the respect && love of her peers, fans, parents. instead of spending sleepless nights training she went out to bars ; apparently games weren’t the only places one could be whomever they want. more often than not feng woke up in strange places ... only one day it was somewhere she had never been. the fog.

a place controlled by an entity, a place of nightmares — filled with horror icons && some she had never heard of. at first feng was cold to the others, never the most altruistic ( still wasn’t up until she left. especially to newer survivors. they had something to prove, didn’t they ?? ). feng spent her time observing, calculating. while terrified of what this place was, she soon discovered in reality, it was almost like a new game for her. one that she was determined to win. for her, that meant getting herself out of each trial by any means necessary. it wasn’t until she learned that it was better to work as a team, as she slowly let herself open up to the others, that she started looking out for them too. like her e-sports team the others became a sort of family even in their current chaos. 

IVYWOOD

she hasn’t been here for very long, but already she feels rather bored — though she’d never admit it. of course it’s better than in the entity’s realm, but when not focused on surviving it’s easier to let her mind wander && all the more difficult to not go back to old habits. but she’s trying™. despite how hard of a time she gave some of the other survivors, she misses them, hopes they’re alright && somehow end up here too. until then she’s content to get back to video games, to see all that she’s missed && attempt to help meg learn how to play too. 

{ scott eastwood, cis man, he/him } i’m sure you’ve seen ( ethan jackson ) around ivywood.  he is ( thirty-four ) years old and is a ( hiking guide ).  i’ve heard a rumor that he is a huge fan of ( nature documentaries, comedies, & 80s films ) and have a tendency to be ( compassionate & observant ) and ( apprehensive & malleable )

BASICS

name: ethan jackson nicknames: tba age: 34 astrological sign: i’m still debating on which one he is but i’ll add that here when i do bless hometown: london, england height: 5′ 11″ occupation: hiking guide gender  /  pronouns: cis man  /   he/him orientation: bisexual

INFO

{ tw: abandonment, suicide, trauma, general family issues }

ethan, the fifth out of ten, literally && metaphorically knew what it was like to be in the middle, to be quite average. growing up he tended to just get by. he was one to do what he was told && wouldn’t make too much of a fuss ; anytime a group of children are around it’s always a bit loud, even when there were just five of them, let alone ten. ethan wanted to bring even the smallest bit of peace that he could. ethan was always more of one to speak up when asked, though whenever outside or when watching a comedy or movie with animals in it oddly enough one couldn’t ever get him to shut up. 

as expected when surrounded by music he grew up loving it, a fan of 70s && 80s rock. ethan also had a soft spot for the piano. when taking one-on-one lessons he was fine, but at his first piano recital he got up on stage && froze, massive stage fright. ethan ran off without playing a single note. despite how long ago it was he still holds shame for it ( a disappointment, not knowing what he was good at, if anything ) && truthfully it made him thankful to be in the shadows, only made him thrive in it a bit more. even now despite how close the siblings are he hardly ever plays && if so it’s only when a few are around.

while perhaps not fully unexpected it still hurt when their mother left. ethan tried to remain rather stoic about it, though there was always a part of him that held onto a bit of hope that things would work out in the end. he preferred to see the good in people, even when it may be difficult to find. on the bad nights he’d pitch up a tent && hope for comfort. after that though he tried to cut off his thoughts, his feelings from it all ; didn’t want to overthink it. he behaved similarly after their father committed suicide. but this time even the thin fabric felt suffocating. thankfully counting stars was easier than counting sheep, made it feel like the world was bigger than all their issues — or so he told himself. as usual, after the funeral he tried to not think about it for very long at any given time.

the family moved to the states to focus on their american label. it was then that he found his love for thru-hiking. when his legs ached after a 24 mile or more day it was near impossible to ponder over much else. after graduating high school he skipped college && focused on the long list of trails he wished to see. in between long hikes he worked random jobs, mostly construction. while the jackson’s were well off he felt guilty using their parents’ money, whether that’s simply because he’s stubborn or angry he’d rather not delve into figuring out.

ethan managed to see a lot of the world on his feet, though no matter what his family always brought him back home from one couch to another. april was coming up, && despite how much easier it’d be to stay out on the trails he decided to come back home to be with the family, especially during a difficult anniversary. thus he decided to take a bit of a break && give himself more roots in ivywood, settling into a quaint townhouse of his own near his siblings. though, more often than not you’ll find him somewhere in nature.

Feng Min - Spark of Madness Trailer

PHOTOSHOOT MEME scott eastwood

beverly 📲 ben👷🏻

ben: i don't even know if i have it anymore honestly

ben: brown shirt and khaki shorts on the other hand, maybe

ben: you should, it was a good look for you! not that your short hair was bad

beverly: if not i'll make you one, just let me know.

beverly: and of course a walkman. can't forget that.

beverly: thanks, ben. short was what i needed at the time. but now both are good. though i still can't style it for shit lol.

beverly 📲 ben👷🏻

ben: yep, that's exactly why i keep you around

ben: maybe i'll dig up that denim vest i wore the day we met

ben: that would be a throwback, huh?

beverly: only maybe?🥺

beverly: but do you have a brown shirt and khaki shorts?

beverly: my hair is long enough to wear in a side pony again. MAYBE i'll wear it that way again 😊

beverly 📲 ben👷🏻

ben: i... never thought about it like that

ben: we might as well dress up like we did back then too, make it a theme

ben: not that i'd wanna wear any of my old clothes haha

beverly: see that's why you gotta keep me around

beverly: so much denim was worn 😬 but i'm in lol

beverly: it's either replicas of our old clothes or we find those awful neon windbreakers to wear

beverly: so choose wisely, hanscom 😎

wxlksxflxfx​  /  scorpius malfoy * !!

Scorpius nodded his head, agreeing with what the other was saying. “Wouldn’t that make life easier?” He joked, letting out a laugh. Honestly, Scorpius was tired of thinking. Tired of trying to figure out what was going on because he felt like he was the only one searching. Listening to their suggestions, Scorpius let his head just kind of nod before he responded. “I think it’s all just a bit overwhelming. Being in this random town, and being stuck in it. Not knowing anything about it, I mean, it’s so odd…” 

・・・・・・

                    luna’s own laughter easily followed, nodding in agreement. “yeah, that’d probably make life too easy.” despite how they still did wish for such a thing, there was something about figuring life out — a big puzzle that one never had all the pieces to, never would either until the very end. a small, what they hoped to be comforting, grin etched along their lips. “it won’t answer everything, but maybe check out the tours of the town. every place, every person, is ODD until you get to know them. though yes this place is stranger than most. but one thing i’m sure of even though i don’t know all you’re dealing with ?? there are answers to all your questions even if you don’t have them figured out quite yet.” 

beepxbeep​  /  richie tozier * !!

Richie smiled up at his friend and reached up to grab the cigarette, taking a drag from his mouth before reaching back up and putting it back in hers. This was reminiscent of all the nights they’d had growing up, the ones where they couldn’t help but be together for. The days where they skipped school and smoked in the janitor’s closets, the early mornings where they would get together after a bad night and smoke until the sun came up. As much as he hated Derry, it had given him 6 wonderful things and Bev was absolutely one of them. And truth be told, he needed this here in Ivywood. Her words brought him back and he rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Beaverly….this is serious.” Which it was. He didn’t get serious a lot, only really with three of the losers, but when he did it was usually important. “I was just thinking about it and I mean…you know we both have fucking shitty pasts and we’re here and we’re stuck and do you…I mean our parents can’t get to us here right?” he asked, curiously. “I mean we all love my dad, good ole Wentworth Tozier can come any day but I mean my mom…and your dad.” Richie could handle his mom showing up if it happened but Bev’s father was a whole different story. 

・・・・・・

                    “maybe i’d take you seriously if you weren’t a literal dickhead.”  beaverly — unacceptable from anyone else. it was almost as if greta && henry had all made sure her reputation stuck with her no matter where she went. but, with richie it made her laugh, though with one shared look she knew... this was important. the usual flush that always hid behind cheeks quickly faded, face white at what richie suggested. her memories might be rather fucked, but one strong memory of hers was never wanting to see her father again. whatever that meant for her. it was bad enough he visited her in slumber. && richie’s mother ?? her presence bev imagined would be nothing but a setback. despite how  d r y  her mouth had become, she took a long, long, desperate drag from the cigarette, she was gonna need it. bev wanted to be optimistic, to say of course they wouldn’t show up but what was stopping them ?? “the idea makes you wish that border stopped people from coming in instead of leaving, doesn’t it ?? but realistically they could. the bowers gang too. all of them. derry might’ve been small but this place almost feels smaller.” beverly fixated her gaze on her hands, the soft texture of his hair as fingers continued to brush through it. “but look at all you’ve done without her, all you’ve accomplished no thanks to her. even if she can get here physically she can’t get here.” digit lightly tapped against his temple. “not anymore. && even if she tried she’d have to get through me first.” determination strengthening the tone of her voice once again, nothing but sincere.

wxlksxflxfx​  /  bill denbrough * !!

“Isn’t that just our luck? Some mysterious thing coming after us in ways we can’t explain?” Pennywise was a mysterious thing that no one was able to explain, until the losers club had decided to take him on. “I don’t think it was IT either, but I also know don’t know what it could be. Like maybe it’s something similar to IT?” He commented, curious what she might think of that. “Honestly, I think that’s as close to the truth as it could be.” 

・・・・・・

                    “i just wanna know which one of us broke a mirror to give us such shit luck.” the attempt at jest was there, but didn’t quite meet the eyes. the idea of It or something else, possibly even worse made her nervous. bev sipped at her drink, giving herself a moment to think it over. it made sense. “there are other shit towns besides derry, places were awful things also happened. maybe this place is one of them.” it still felt like a stretch, bev remembered how derry’s stats were much higher than average. “i say it’s a good hunch, at least somewhere to start. did you guys — i mean did we, ever figure out what kinda thing It was ??”

wxlksxflxfx​  /  jo march * !!

“It’s kind of like having another person with you in real life tells those voices fighting with you in your head to hush up.” She commented, gesturing to her head as she spoke. “Jo March.” Jo introduced confidently, as if it was a name that was going to mean something one day, which she was determined to make true. Hearing her comment, the writer couldn’t help but laugh and shrug her shoulders. “Well, there are four March girls total and we’re each different in our own way. So, you could say we balance each other out, but for the most part I think we just try each other insane.” She replied. Moving with the girl, Jo eyed the desk she was pointing out and let out a small sigh. “Well, I’m a writer you see. Currently just doing little short stories and things for the local paper, but I’m planning to write the next great novel. Something people have never seen before!” Her words came out fast and she was proud of what she planned to do. “I agree on the chair thing though. The chairs at work are terrible and I refuse to have my chair at home be the same way.” 

・・・・・・

                    instinctively eyes widened at the thought — four girls. while of course not all were vindictive, but a group of any always made her a bit apprehensive. greta && her squad left a longer, deeper impact on bev than she would ever like to admit. “well that just means you’re doing your jobs, right ?? some of my friends are more like brothers ; if you don’t annoy them every once in a while there’s no sense of accomplishment.” beverly jested, a light titter chimed as gaze warmed. beverly listened intently, talk of DREAMS, seeing others light up with all they wanted to do, bev loved to see it. meant even after all the shit in the world there was still HOPE. “i’ll make sure i keep my eyes peeled at any bookstore for ya. any genres you like in particular ??” nose scrunched, nodding along in agreement. “a bad chair will make you feel old with all the inevitable back pains. too young for that shit. but your work should definitely try to do better. forty hours a week is already torture enough at any place.”

A BEVERLY MARSH PLAYLIST  ・。・

below the cut are lyrics of importance from each song, plus a few extras ❄️🔥

001. BAD REPUTATION - JOAN JETT

“a girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do. and i don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation.”

002. LIABILITY - LORDE

“so they pull back, make other plans. i understand, i'm a liability. get you wild, make you leave. i'm a little much for everyone.”

“the truth is I am a toy that people enjoy ‘til all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me.”

003. YOU’VE GOT IT (THE RIGHT STUFF) - NKOTB

“you're the reason why I sing this song. all that I needed was you.”

004. LOOKING TOO CLOSELY - FINK

“the devil's right there, right there in the details and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself. looking too closely.”

“put your arms around somebody else. don't punish yourself, punish yourself. truth is like blood underneath your fingernails and you don't wanna hurt yourself, hurt yourself.”

“so don't kid yourself, kid yourself. it's you right there, right there in the mirror.”

005. LOSER - BECK

“ soy un perdedor. i’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me ??”

006. FORTRESS - BEAR’S DEN

“nothing could ever make me more frightened than the thought of hurting you.”

“this is how it's meant to be. this is where we're supposed to be. i don't think anyone could ever love anyone the way I love you.”

007. FATHER DAUGHTER DANCE - KESHA

“it was always drama. i’m sorry i’m always so anxious and numb. just sorry i’m fucked up. i really just don’t know how to love, how to trust. i try, but when i talk about him i should probably cry but he’s nothing, he’s no one, a stranger.”

“oh, i wish my heart wasn’t broken from the start. i never stood a fighting chance. in all my days from my cradle to my grave, i’ll never have a father daughter dance.”

008. BEVERLY - IT (2017) SOUNDTRACK

(  vibes™.  )

009. UNBREAKABLE - FIREFLIGHT

“where are the people that accuse me? the ones who beat me down and bruise me? they hide just out of sight, can't face me in the light. they'll return but I'll be stronger.”

“god, I want to dream again. take me where I've never been. i want to go there, this time I'm not scared. now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable. no one can touch me. nothing can stop me.”

010. THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT - THE SMITHS

“take me out tonight where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive. driving in your car, i never, never want to go home because I haven't got one ... oh, please don't drop me home because it's not my home, it's their home and I'm welcome no more.”

011. LOVELY - BILLIE EILISH FT. KHALID

“oh, i hope some day i'll make it out of here, even if it takes all night or a hundred years. need a place to hide, but I can't find one near. wanna feel alive. outside i can't fight my fear.”

“isn't it lovely, all alone? heart made of glass my mind of stone. tear me to pieces, skin to bone. hello, welcome home.”

012. HANG ON IN THERE - QUEEN

“don't let go, don't lose your mystique. wait a little longer; tomorrow brings another feast. don't let go, don't lose your reputation. thank God you're still alive, ha. you're still in one piece.”

013. CHERRY BOMB - THE RUNAWAYS

“can't stay at home, can't stay at school. old folks say, ‘you poor little fool.’ down the streets i'm the girl next door ; i'm the fox you've been waiting for.”

A JOHANNA MASON PLAYLIST・。・

below the cut are lyrics of importance from each song, plus a few extras 🪓

001. ZOMBIE - THE CRANBERRIES

“another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken and the violence caused such silence. who are we mistaken?”

“in your head, in your head they are fighting with their tanks, and their bombs, and their bombs, and their guns. in your head, in your head they are crying.”

002. DO I WANNA KNOW? - ARTIC MONKEYS

“have you got color in your cheeks? so you ever get that fear that you can't shift the type that sticks around like summat in your teeth? are there some aces up your sleeve? have you no idea that you're in deep?”

003. NEVER BACK DOWN - NINE LASHES

“from here all the world is a raging fire. i know you can see what i see. well they'll have their way. everyone breaking down.”

“all i know is i'd rather die than believe a lie (live a lie). i cannot follow the blind. we'll never back down. we will not relent. now or never, till the day that we dreamed of. i see it coming.”

“these voices are making me lose my mind. i know you can hear what i hear. well they'll have their way. everyone's heart bled dry if we turn and we flee.”

004. PAINT IT BLACK - THE ROLLING STONES

“i see a line of cars and they're all painted black ; with flowers and my love both never to come back.”

“i look inside myself and see my heart is black. i see my red door, i must have it painted black. maybe then, i'll fade away and not have to face the facts. it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black.”

005. DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS - DISTURBED

“looking at my own reflection when suddenly it changes, violently it changes (oh no). there is no turning back now ; you've woken up the demon in me.”

006. RIOT - THREE DAYS GRACE

“if you feel so empty, so used up, so let down ; if you feel so angry, so ripped off, so stepped on, you're not the only one refusing to back down. you're not the only one. so get up. let's start a riot.”

007. KILLING IN THE NAME - RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

“fuck you, i won't do what you tell me.”

008. HUMAN - DAUGHTER

“underneath the skin there's a human. buried deep within there's a human. and despite everything I'm still human ; but i think i'm dying here. waking up like an animal, i'm all ready for healing. my mind's lost with nightmares streaming, waking up kicking screaming. take me out of this place i'm in. break me out of this shale case i'm in.”

009. CASTLE - HALSEY

“and there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that i probably shouldn't be so mean.”

“oh, all these minutes passing, sick of feeling used. if you wanna break these walls down, you're gonna get bruised.”

010. DANCING WITH AIR - CHRISTY

“got lost, I'm not the same and my reality has been misplaced ...  ever since you've been gone, i’ve been dancing with air.”

011. HURRICANE - HALSEY

“i’m a wanderess. i'm a one night stand. don't belong to no city, don't belong to no man. i'm the violence in the pouring rain. i'm a hurricane.”

012. ANIMAL I HAVE BECOME - THREE DAYS GRACE

“so what if you can see the darkest side of me? no one would ever change this animal i have become. and help me believe it's not the real me, somebody help me tame this animal.”

                    if it weren’t for already knowing richie && for the unfortunate circumstance of henry bowers’ knife meeting ben’s skin beverly wasn’t sure she’d have ever been a loser ( well, a loser yes, but not a member of the club ). strange how strong a friendship could become off of bumming a cigarette, a mutual addiction turned into unknowingly needed company. the TRUST between the two young adults splayed out on the bed indescribable. bev’s nightmares had gotten worse — the morphing of her father && the clown now joined by another man. unnamed, but just as horrifying. ‘ no one will love you like me ’  — a constant echo. as expected, with richie those words were easy to push out of her mind, the bright memories of shared ice cream cones && yo-yo tricks at the forefront. his words brought on beverly’s usual smirk. “pretty sure that’s already a question, tozier.” but she caught onto the slight shift — expression solemn as she tilted her chin down to look at him. digits softly tangled in his hair, massaging scalp comfortingly as fresh cigarette dangled from lips. “what’s up ??”

@heartsofember​ - bev

Out of everyone in the loser’s club, it was weird that he was closest with Beverly. Sure, Stan and him had been the closest growing up but things were different. Richie loved Stan, and the same with Mike. He loved them and so in a way they had a piece of his heart. But his closest friend in the group was hands down Beverly Marsh. He would kill for that girl and he always dropped everything whenever she needed him. Including tonight when she had texted him to come over for a smoke. Which led them to laying on her bed, his head in her lap, smoking and just talking. Richie was dramatic and energetic but even he liked these moments. The quiet ones. They had been talking about old things, memories that they’d had, when things had gotten quiet for a moment. “Hey, Bev, can I ask you something?”

wxlksxflxfx​  /  bill denbrough * !!

Bill wasn’t sure if he should still be looking for a way for them all to go home, but until he made a final decision, he was going to keep looking. Maybe he could at least find out why they are there, if nothing else. When Bev walked in, he gave her a small smile before answering her question. “I’ve been alright. Trying to figure out what might be going on around here, but I don’t think I’m really getting anywhere, which I guess is kind of understandable.” He commented with a shrug of his shoulders. “And I think this barrier isn’t going to come down at any point.” Bill continued. “How are you?” 

・・・・・・

                    the perhaps, overly-sweetened, coffee helped ease perpetuating thoughts as she took a few sips. all of what bill said was RELATABLE. despite seeking the answers, all of this was as much of a mystery as it was when beverly first got here, when she first even remembered some of what was  m i s s i n g  .  “i’m kinda starting to think whatever the reason behind all this is, that it doesn’t want us to know.” which only heightened CONCERNS of course. “i’m not sure it’s It though.” palms clammed up even at mentioning pennywise. “for even we were able to leave derry at any time.” small smile warmed features despite the topic at his question. “i’m doing okay. i think we’re all as good as we can be, right ??”

wxlksxflxfx​  /  scorpius malfoy * !!

Hearing a voice, Scorpius sat up and noticed the person standing in front of him, pausing a moment before responding. “Oh, it’s not the books fault. My brain just really isn’t in it today.” He responded, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. He appreciated the offer to help, but really didn’t know how he could be helped. “Honestly, I’m not really sure what you could do. I think my brain is just all jumbled up and it’s hard to get it organized enough to be able to actually function.” 

・・・・・・

                    a knowing grin crossed their features — “i wish my mind had a map or something sometimes. my thoughts always tend to wander && get lost.” sometimes it felt permanent — like when luna attempted to figure out what exactly was going on in this town. “you could try to focus on one thing at a time ?? easy to say i know. sometimes if you focus on the easiest thing && either figure it out or get it done you’ll least then feel accomplished.” luna paused, lips pursed more in thought before continuing. “or simply let yourself feel, think it all. it’s okay to have a bad day.”

                    each footstep echoed against the concrete as mike went for his run, airpods in each ear. mike attempted to focus — mentally going through his notes for one of his upcoming finals. LAW SCHOOL, he had the confidence ( perhaps too much of it ) to do it, but there was always a part of him that feared FAILURE. he almost didn’t see the other until a can struck his foot. he quickly picked up what he could to help, pausing however at the sight of her tear filled eyes. “hey, no need for emotional cabbage — better the spilled milk than you right ??” mike jested in usual manner, an attempt to lighten spirits. “you alright ?? they never double bag, it’s bullshit.”

lulu juggled the bags on her arm and tried to get back home quickly as possible. her wagon had lost a wheel and she was still waiting for the new one to come in but she had to grocery shop. the blonde picked up her pace but the inevitable happened and one of her bags broke. she watched as her stuffed rolled away from her and she tried not to cry. she knelt to the ground to start picking up some items but tears filled her eyes and she shook her head. she could do this, she could get home and then she would cry at home. 

@heartsofember​ for anyone 

wxlksxflxfx​  /  jo march * !!

Listening to the girl, Jo nodded her head and smiled. “That honestly sounds like it would be such a nice idea. Then you have easy access and a a great way to display everything.” She agreed, already able to see the idea she pictured in her head. “Um, I was just kind of looking for something that was made of a good wood. I’m really not one to do the whole color scheme thing. That would most like be more of something my sisters Beth or Amy would focus on.” She commented, letting her shoulders shrug. “I just need something that, when I spend days at, isn’t going to be completely useless.” Jo explained as she went back to looking at the furniture in front of her. “Um, sure! I’m more than happy to work together on this. Maybe it’ll be a lot faster and I won’t have to make all the decisions on my own.” She laughed. 

・・・・・・

                    “something about having another person back you up in a decision makes it so much easier,” bev affirmed, holding out her hand for the other to shake. “i’m beverly marsh.” at the mention of two other sisters, she couldn’t help the curiosity. an only child, && a relief it was simply based off how things were, she still wondered what it’d be like to have siblings. “sounds like you guys at least BALANCE each other out well.” bev warmly quipped, listening carefully to what the other was looking for. “actually, the one i got wasn’t anything super fancy, but i’ve liked it.” the redhead took a few steps down the aisle before pointing out the desk she bought a few weeks back. “i’m not sure what you’re using it for, but i have a computer && printer on it && still have room for a few of my sketchpads.” bev still preferred pen && paper to the art program she had. “but if you’re gonna be sitting a while, i recommend a good chair above anything else.”

despite all the blows, you are still s t a n d i n g.

                   finn’s feet carried him towards the other before he could stop himself. he’d recognize the jedi anywhere ( with the force helping guide him or not ). finn’s smile dropped slightly at the immediate question. finn had rather hoped the other had all his memories, that he wasn’t afflicted like many of the others around town. but nonetheless finn was relieved, seeing luke alive. “we have. but not here.” he was quick to add, knowing how confusing, perhaps painful it’d be to not remember it all. “&& in a different time,” brows furrowed, though finn offered a comforting grin. “but it’s okay. i’m finn. i was part of the resistance with your sister, general leia. though i know that might not mean anything to you now.”

@heartsofember​ requested a starter | luke and finn

maybe it was just for luke but despite having very few memories of his past, things were going really well for him. unusually well, in fact. he was getting to know his brother in law, han; he’d met an amazing guy who didn’t seem to judge him for the fact he had galaxy-sized holes in his memory, and his job was relatively stable. all things considered, luke was having a great time of it. but he was getting concerned with the hazy moments of deja vu when he met certain people. like the guy walking towards him at that moment. he wasn’t certain that he’d met him but something inside him said the guy was important. “hey, sorry. have we met?”