Imavika - Imavika

PRETTY effed up morning :)

so like everyone has a coping mechanism and their go to songs when they feel that something which TRIGGERS them is happening or about to happen AGAIN so i have this song -

so its sunday morning today and ive been feeling low and that gut feeling since last two three days that yes something wrong is about to happen and boom then that triggering thing happens and as soon as i see it coming i go to this song and man this sunday morning isnt supposed to be this sad yk cause its a festive season and ugh this sucks. so lowkey sad and irritated. like fuck it. im just draining out of energy.

"well behaved women rarely make history". ~ tumblr

I hate when somebody i don't deal with anymore is in my dream like ugh wtf does this even mean

citationless behavior

Rupture

Bloom and Bust, 2023

Ink on paper

when gamers say "gg" at the end of a match it means good girl

special post

okay so guys ive been posting about sad stuff lately or like whenever i come to tumblr its mostly because i wanna talk about my feelings and again im here to talk about my feelings but its not sadness today.

i feel actually thankful (wont use the word grateful cause its a concept now because everyone's like be thankful this or that blah blah) because i have this good moment and its sunday and the same sunday when i was feeling very very off in the morning but exactly opp in the evening (rn) and mom's happy, im happy, friends are happy, i have a new set of friends and they are sweet. that particular girl in my new set of friends is so sweet and i love it when she talks about something that she feels deeply. she is simple and so nice. thank you so much god and the universe for all the positivity and love for today. ill forever be thankful to you for everything and this day!

i love you so much and thank you so so much. truly <3

ok so hear me out.

i was watching reels on instagram and then this reel pops up it says "when is something that you do for yourself?"

i ask this to myself or simply answer it like it was meant for me. i say "photography" and the last time i did it was this morning when i woke up to a beautiful sunset and i rushed to capture it because it was different of orange and brown (picture inserted).

my answer is followed by a thought in my head which brings me to tumblr because i wanted to save it here. it says that i clicked the picture and sent it to a friend or two and while i rushing to take the picture of the sky in the back of my mind i had this thing that they like the pictures of the sky and cloud and this sucks. not that they like but that SOMETHING THAT I DO FOR MYSELF - PHOTOGRAPHY is linked to someone now! i am destroying my art. my creativity. i feel so ashamed and embarrassed because i should have never done this in the first place. i was doing one thing for myself and i linked it to someone now and its not for me anymore?

i sincerely apologise to my art. ill be very attentive from now on and what follows my thought cause seconds thoughts are always important and its important to know whats going on in your brain. so just take a look at your brain like you are peeping out of your window and you can see the road? the buildings? the stuff going on there? and all.

love.