Joonsdiiimple - (bon)anne

Never forgetting how i once said i wanted to take my organs out to stop feeling psychological pain and then stopped and said "ok i think im over reacting"

*screaming crying almost having a panic attack* i think im over reacting

The dumbass is back

Hi, I have a 4.4.4 android so in the middle of 2019 tumblr got an update and i couldn't use the app anymore.

I came back in the quarantine just to see chinese learning things¿¿ I don't know.

I got the app because in my searching of an old version of netflix (i can't use new netflix updates too) i thought that I could use tumblr in an old version too so i'm back for now.

School

I hate school shjshdjdh.

I'm in holy week vacation right now, so i'm not having homework to do. But it was difficult to not stress out with a lot of work to do.

It's like- in the time we were going to school we used to learn something in about 3 days in classes like Social studies, spanish (i'm not supposed to call it like that, but because it is our first language we call it "communication and language"¿¿), etc. And they were sending work to do for THE NEXT DAY. I barely remember what I saw the last week. I do remember math, english and science because two were sending explanations for the homework and science,,, just awful, really, really long if we have in mind that it was for the next day.

Before we got in quarantine, they gave us our grades, and I got 69 in science lol (i'm gonna talk about that in another blog) my grades were pretty meh, english was the higher note, and I got an "i" (for insufficient) in attitude, because I had a mental breakdown in front of the principal. She said it was a "trantum", I couldn't breath, for real, I was choking because I was hiperventilating AND SHE WAS JUST YELLING. My mum came to pick me up but I didn't left the school, and everybody thinks it was my fault.

I'm anxious 'cause if quarantine lasts to a longer time, I'll not be able to know what to do about getting in another school I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SCHOOL TO GO, i'm going to hang myself.

Sweetheart

I got a "girlfriend" and she's so sweet:(. We're not officially dating, but i've been waiting two years and she finally admitted that she likes me.

She's so sweet, she listens to me when i'm sad, and she wasn't angry when I was answering late her messages because of school. SHE EVEN ASKS ME TO TRY GO TO SLEEP, 'cause I can't sleep.

I love her so much, I can't even express it. But i'm so insecure, I don't want to make her feel insecure because of MY insecurities:(.

I can't sleep and that's why i'm in tumblr again.

It's currently 4:31am when i'm writing this, i can't sleep AGAIN. School fucked up my sleeping schedule (going to sleep at 9pm when I was going to school). This days i've been falling asleep between 1-3am. I don't know what happened this day but i'll be awake at least at 2pm.

Ah shit here we go again??

I spent 6 months eating like a pig and i'm thinking of purging AGAIN and I fucking hate it. I don't like it, but I feel so bad with my fucking fat body I don't know what to do i'm like-

And that's my update for now (day 25 of quarantine: april 8)

FUCK 10 FOR 5am I'M FUCKED

I'm-

What's the tea, sis

Everyone says I’m not fat but no one says I’m skinny, so what’s the tea?

Me: -eat something-

My ed: That had like 10 calories

Me: So?

My ed: yoU aRe gOnnA bE FAT

Me:

It actually feels nice to tell my friends I'm not available on friday because I've got a date.

I know this has nothing to do with food or Ed's but I have to say this. If you are able to spare any money at this time, please send it to the Floyd's family and the group's pushing for change. It is cruel and unjust to allow a murderer walk away freely after what everyone in Minnesota has done. No one deserves to have their death broadcasted in that way. Everyone deserves to have their humanity stay with them. What Derek Chauvin did was murder. George was already apprehend, he was innocent and was on the ground. There was absolutely no reason for Derek to put HIS KNEE ON GEORGE'S NECK. Nowhere in the the cops training does it say that is a valid way to stop someone. Also, the other officers who stood silently and watched deserve to be charge. They could've saved an innocent man's life and they did nothing. So spread George's name. Spread everyone name who's life was taken in vain by this corrupt system that oppresses so many. There is so much new information being found with every new hour that passes by. Please try to use the platforms you have regardless of numbers. Please bring attention to this terrible murder.

Another thing that must be addressed, stop spreading videos of his death. There is no reason for an individual to share that video, I know its to spread awareness but you sharing his death that way makes it no better than snuff. It adds nothing to the conversation other than a surface level pity. Black people aren't something to show off in social media as a way to get you brownies points. They are individuals from various communities who have meaningful lives and deserve better than what this nation has in place for them. Stop posting his death, use your words to bring attention to the issues say his name. Don't let him be forgotten like so many other people who have died at police hands.

Also, if you plan on attending any of the protests, please protect yourself. Please take care of yourself. Wear solid colors, preferably all black and loose clothing. Try to get a size bigger and a basic black belt if you can. Your shoes should be inconspicuous. No intricate details, not flashy, and please try to avoid showing them to anyone before or after the protest. People have been found out because of what they are wearing. Please cover your eyes with glasses or goggles, USE A FACE MASK, we are still in the midst of a pandemic. Using goggles and a mask will not just help slow the spread of the virus but will also protect you from tear gas and flying projectiles. Carry a backpack with a bottle of water, to to flush out your eyes or anyone else's who has been affected by the gas. If you are not willing to fight but want the protests but want to do something good, help others. Take pictures and video of everything happening around you. Turn off your data, they can use it to track your location after the protest and can find out who you were and get you arrested.

Here are a few organization to donate to or brands that are willing to match the donations. There are many more but these are the only ones I have personally seen.

gofundme.com

Official George Floyd Memorial Fund organized by Philonise Floyd

On May 25, 2020, my life shattered as I learned of the tragic passing of my dear b… Philonise Floyd needs your support for Official George F

Reclaim the Block

Reclaim the Block

Reclaim the Block began in 2018 and organizes Minneapolis community and city council members to move money from the police department into o

Minnesota Freedom Fund

Minnesota Freedom Fund

My dad came back home just to sit in the table i was studyng at, while he was in a videocall talking and getting drunk with his friends, i love my dad so much i went to my bedroom ´cause i can´t even study in my own house without being bothered💗

A lot in the ana community: o yEAh cofFee YuM yUm iS my fAvorItE meAl

Me, who doesn't like coffee:

(Please tell me I'm not the only one who don't like coffee):

Dummy face, I'm really gonna miss him