I start school again, today. It's 2am AND I'M NOT SLEEPING.
The president had a conference yesterday and he removed our mid-term break, every teen in my country is like:
we're sad, i'm sad.
Minecraft and cartoon network kept me alive.
I'm avoiding social contact since I fucked up my self-steem AGAIN.
And I started wondering what will happen if my girlfriend notices me acting weird, she did last time and:(. I don't want to have a mental breakdown and tell her I have an eating disorder. I don't want tu destroy everything again. I want to be okay but I can't even keep myself okay.
(Day 31??? of quarantine: april 14)
me: *tell my mum i am full*
My ed:
My mum: *leaves the room*
Me: ooo emPANADAS *eats 3*
My brain: thank you
My ed:
Based on a true story
(4:36pm)
Uh, ok
Hi, my self-steem hasn't changed since i left tumblr, maybe is worse now.
Yesterday was a bad day for my sel-steem.
(Day 28??: april 11)
why why wHY
Quarantine will be longer, we'll have to stay 'til May. That means MORE HOMESCHOOLING:( and that means dead.
I'll go play minecraft just to act like I didn't heard of staying another month in my home.
(2:56pm)
Me: omG I LOST 3 POUNDS ;_;
My brain: great, next, die
My ed: hOLD A FUCKING SECOND, WHEN, WERE, HOW, WHO, WHAT¿ but you still fat gurl.
Me: -counting how much calories I ate last week and trying to anilize how I lost 3 pounds in a week after bingin' 2 times-
Me: -do nothing after binging for 3 days-
My ed: sTARVE YOURSELF
My brain: Don't yoU DARE
Me: -starves-
My brain:
Me: -eat something-
My ed: That had like 10 calories
Me: So?
My ed: yoU aRe gOnnA bE FAT
Me: