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i'm alive *sadly*

I start school again, today. It's 2am AND I'M NOT SLEEPING.

The president had a conference yesterday and he removed our mid-term break, every teen in my country is like:

we're sad, i'm sad.

Minecraft and cartoon network kept me alive.

I'm avoiding social contact since I fucked up my self-steem AGAIN.

And I started wondering what will happen if my girlfriend notices me acting weird, she did last time and:(. I don't want to have a mental breakdown and tell her I have an eating disorder. I don't want tu destroy everything again. I want to be okay but I can't even keep myself okay.

(Day 31??? of quarantine: april 14)

me: *tell my mum i am full*

My ed:

My mum: *leaves the room*

Me: ooo emPANADAS *eats 3*

My brain: thank you

My ed:

Based on a true story

(4:36pm)

Uh, ok

Hi, my self-steem hasn't changed since i left tumblr, maybe is worse now.

Yesterday was a bad day for my sel-steem.

(Day 28??: april 11)

why why wHY

Quarantine will be longer, we'll have to stay 'til May. That means MORE HOMESCHOOLING:( and that means dead.

I'll go play minecraft just to act like I didn't heard of staying another month in my home.

(2:56pm)

Me: omG I LOST 3 POUNDS ;_;

My brain: great, next, die

My ed: hOLD A FUCKING SECOND, WHEN, WERE, HOW, WHO, WHAT¿ but you still fat gurl.

Me: -counting how much calories I ate last week and trying to anilize how I lost 3 pounds in a week after bingin' 2 times-

Me: -do nothing after binging for 3 days-

My ed: sTARVE YOURSELF

My brain: Don't yoU DARE

Me: -starves-

My brain:

Me: -eat something-

My ed: That had like 10 calories

Me: So?

My ed: yoU aRe gOnnA bE FAT

Me: