I Just Want To See You, Please

Reasons not to hurt kids:

their happiness

their safety

their well being

their health

their childhood

their future

their emotional health

their mental health

because the world will hurt them too and they’re supposed to have someone in life they can trust

so they’re safe loving you

so they feel protected

because they don’t deserve pain

because it’s already so damn hard to exist on this decaying planet and they don’t need any extra stress in life

because they’re facing difficulties and need support not pain

because it makes you a horrible person to hurt a kid

because nobody benefits from it

because it teaches them that being hurt is normal, acceptable way to live

because it can push them to hurt themselves

because it will make them feel abandoned and worthless

because they feel your hatred so strongly it can break them

because they’re in a small body and it’s already frightening for them to know someone wants to hurt them

because it’s not your job to be a villain in a child’s life

because they might not recover

because there’s only so much a child can endure

because they might never stop hurting

because they will grow up and you don’t have the right to expect their forgiveness

because you’re taking away their ability to feel save and loved by you

because you might be taking away their ability to feel safe or loved by anyone

because you’re breaking their heart and they thought they could trust you

because no child deserved to be brought in this world only to be betrayed

because making a child go thru pain is a despicable and monstrous thing to do

because it doesn’t have any, ANY benefits to the child at all

because there’s a huge amount of children already traumatized and suicidal and struggling to keep themselves alive by the end of the day

because you do not have to hurt a child, ever

Reasons to hurt a child

There are no reasons. There are only excuses. Only incomprehensible garbage and lies that exist for the sole purpose of excusing your horrifying actions of hurting a kid. Because you felt like keeping a small human being in pain to satisfy your sick urges. No kid needs to be hurt to grow up right. No kids requires pain inflicted on them by people they trust and rely on in order to be raised safely. If you think there are actual reasons to hurt children it’s because you want to hurt them and will make up any kind of bullshit to excuse your abuse. No child has deserved this. Stay away from children if you can’t love them.

So, i did some SH again some days ago.

I feel bad, but i actually felt good after doing it. And that's exactly the problem.

I can't stand nor think of cutting myself again. I want to use short shirts and i really hate to keep using sweaters when i'm dying of hotness.

But i don't want my friends to worry. I don't want to make them think i'm doing bad again, because i swear i'm not. It's been two years, and i relapsed. That was really hard.

Big birb hug

I would take my heart out and give it to you if that proved that i am in love with you

Relapsing be like:

I'm in mcdonald's and I'm surviving drinking grape-strawberry juice and Zero coke, here I go, 170 caloriesssssss and 0 at the same time

Worst part of trauma after abusive relationships is that you never see relationships the same way again. Never. Ever. Again.

The way i communicate with somebody i love or i like is different. It is never direct on what i'm supposed to ask for. And always scared of a bad reaction. I'm terrified of people i love. People who haven't done anything but treat me right.

Tf is that supposed to mEan likeeeeee ?????????? JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. We were kissing just now and-

I am not hiding anything. You're now welcome into my world, my vulnerabilities. I'm not trying to hide.

I wish i knew how to comfort people. I'm so bad at it, i get so stressed because i want to make her feel better and feel okay. But i never know what to say.