Madly In Love

I would take my heart out and give it to you if that proved that i am in love with you

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

He's not gonna believe me when I tell him how I feel like, he's just gonna ask about med school and how I possibly have ADD. Idk doci feel lost in class but I also feel lost in life, like, I didn't feel like myself, but who am I at the end of the they but my thoughts and worries, my past and future, the way I can't trust people, not even those who are supposed to be there for me. I'm broken and I know there's something wrong with me

Ohgodno

SooO, I'm at the beach with my family, and that means I have to eat): But, my uncle have a pool in his house so:

I'm never gonna go outside of the pool, bye family

She's probably right, there's something wrong with me. But I'm not sure what it is exactly. What i know is that I'm slowly liking her more and more than i expected to. And i love that. But I'm scared of getting hurt again by somebody, sobre todo because I'm giving her the keys to where my heart is.

Well at lest he kept it open as an option !!

I feel numb, i can only feel the way my rib cage moves when i breath. I don't know, i dont feel like doing anything at all

The dumbass is back

Hi, I have a 4.4.4 android so in the middle of 2019 tumblr got an update and i couldn't use the app anymore.

I came back in the quarantine just to see chinese learning things¿¿ I don't know.

I got the app because in my searching of an old version of netflix (i can't use new netflix updates too) i thought that I could use tumblr in an old version too so i'm back for now.

School

I hate school shjshdjdh.

I'm in holy week vacation right now, so i'm not having homework to do. But it was difficult to not stress out with a lot of work to do.

It's like- in the time we were going to school we used to learn something in about 3 days in classes like Social studies, spanish (i'm not supposed to call it like that, but because it is our first language we call it "communication and language"¿¿), etc. And they were sending work to do for THE NEXT DAY. I barely remember what I saw the last week. I do remember math, english and science because two were sending explanations for the homework and science,,, just awful, really, really long if we have in mind that it was for the next day.

Before we got in quarantine, they gave us our grades, and I got 69 in science lol (i'm gonna talk about that in another blog) my grades were pretty meh, english was the higher note, and I got an "i" (for insufficient) in attitude, because I had a mental breakdown in front of the principal. She said it was a "trantum", I couldn't breath, for real, I was choking because I was hiperventilating AND SHE WAS JUST YELLING. My mum came to pick me up but I didn't left the school, and everybody thinks it was my fault.

I'm anxious 'cause if quarantine lasts to a longer time, I'll not be able to know what to do about getting in another school I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SCHOOL TO GO, i'm going to hang myself.

Sweetheart

I got a "girlfriend" and she's so sweet:(. We're not officially dating, but i've been waiting two years and she finally admitted that she likes me.

She's so sweet, she listens to me when i'm sad, and she wasn't angry when I was answering late her messages because of school. SHE EVEN ASKS ME TO TRY GO TO SLEEP, 'cause I can't sleep.

I love her so much, I can't even express it. But i'm so insecure, I don't want to make her feel insecure because of MY insecurities:(.

I can't sleep and that's why i'm in tumblr again.

It's currently 4:31am when i'm writing this, i can't sleep AGAIN. School fucked up my sleeping schedule (going to sleep at 9pm when I was going to school). This days i've been falling asleep between 1-3am. I don't know what happened this day but i'll be awake at least at 2pm.

Ah shit here we go again??

I spent 6 months eating like a pig and i'm thinking of purging AGAIN and I fucking hate it. I don't like it, but I feel so bad with my fucking fat body I don't know what to do i'm like-

And that's my update for now (day 25 of quarantine: april 8)

FUCK 10 FOR 5am I'M FUCKED

I'm-

Ay no, que mala persona soy