Von Aegir

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Damian Wayne gets caught by the press while sneaking away and hanging out in civilian clothing with Red Hood and Bruce finding out they know each other isn’t even his biggest problem. his biggest problem is that the interviewer asked what his connection is to the crime lord and why they have on camera the guy calling Damian ‘habibi’, and, panicking about whether or not Bruce seeing this interview could leak Jason’s identity, to throw him off the trail Damian said that Red Hood is his parent.

Interviewer: wait. but… i thought that Bruce Wayne was your biological father?

Damian, panicking even more because both Jason and Bruce would kill him if people thought that Brucie Wayne was the Red Hood’s identity: what, don’t you support trans people? Hood was my mother.

Jason only finds out what Damian did when after a week of confusedly nodding at the trans pride pins people kept wearing and pointing out to him on the street, and Damian refusing to look him in the eye, Nightwing shows up during patrol crying laughing about how Bruce Wayne got asked during a gala about his secret affair with a crime lord and held his champagne glass so tightly it exploded in his hands.

Bruce, on the other hand, got sent the interview clip by Tim halfway through breakfast, whereupon hearing the audio start Damian climbed out the nearest window to get away. after a slightly paranoid text to Talia about whether or not she was in Gotham wearing a face covering helmet every night, be proceeds to freak the fuck out. he has no idea who the Red Hood is, or how Damian knows him. He also has no clue that Red Hood knows HIS identity, and fully plans on showing up to Wayne events in the helmet to antagonise Bruce by stealing food and demanding they talk about the ‘custody arrangements’ of their son. all he knows is that Damian broke a window in his haste to Not Explain Anything, and that Dick and Tim are wheezing hysterically on the other side of the house.

Captain Marvel gets kidnapped and put under a magical truth spell except it’s the Marvel & Billy Are Separate People AU so the kidnappers don’t get any info on his (Billy’s) secret identity

Kidnapper: “Alright Marvel! What’s your real name?”

Captain Marvel: “Captain Marvel”

Kidnapper: “what??? No! I mean your real name!”

Cap: “my real name is Captain Marvel”

Kidnapper: “what?! Ugh nevermind. How old are you?”

Cap: “I’m supposed to keep count of that?”

Kidnapper, getting more frustrated by the second: “just- just give me a rough estimate”

Cap: “at least a few million years, though I was asleep for a few thousand”

Kidnapper: “…”

Kidnapper, moving on: “well, where do you live?”

Cap: *shrugs*

Kidnapper: “you can’t just shrug! Where do you live?!?!”

Cap: “the rock, I guess”

Kidnapper: “the rock- WHAT IS THE ROCK?”

Cap: “basically a big cave”

Kidnapper: “YOU LIVE IN A CAVE???”

the batfam clocked that something might up regarding Jason’s death because when Damian came to Gotham he spoke like a victorian school boy 98% of the time UNLESS he was in a passionate debate/argument with somebody, at which point he would for some baffling reason unknowingly slip into a thick Crime Alley accent complete with slang terms and insults/sayings that the family have only ever heard spewed from Jason’s mouth. it blindsides them every fucking time and Damian doesn’t even realise he does it, just subconsciously picking up traits from his big brother back at nanda parbat without noticing.

i’ve been on a damian-jason brotherhood kick lately but specifically like. weirdly close damian and jason. codependent to the point where it’s starting to get on the rest of the family’s nerves. they’re used to relying on each other in the league and now that they’re in gotham together they just revert back to their oddly dependant ways and everybody else just watches them coexist in slightly jealous fascination.

-jason tastes every piece of food damian is given to check for poison. even if alfred makes it. its not even a belief that damian could be poisoned, it’s just second nature and damian’s used to handing over a small bite and waiting for the nod to go ahead and eat.

-damian uses jason’s body like a climbing frame whenever he feels like it. they don’t exchange words half the time, he just decides he wants to sit on jason’s shoulders so that’s where he puts himself. jason’s used to being halfway through making himself a coffee and suddenly having to readjust his weight, or hold out an arm so damian can use it as a branch to climb up with. they don’t even notice they do it.

-jason picks damian up from school every day. they go out afterwards just the two of them and never bother inviting the others to eat with them. dick has literally ran into them when they by chance ended up in the same cafe and he watched the two pick a booth as far away from him as possible.

-when people are checking for if jason is around the manor they don’t even bother calling for him, they just ask if damian’s home or not, because if damian isn’t home then jason won’t be either.

-damian knows how to cook exactly one dish and it’s jason’s comfort food.

-one time damian crashed the fuck out at school and refused to come out from under a table, and when the teachers eventually gave up and called his guardian to help handle him, bruce just sighed and said ‘you want his brother’s number, i’ll email you it.’

-damian only ever falls asleep on jason. one time after he fell asleep next to jason on the couch, jason got up to grab a drink and when he got back tim had taken his spot, so he sat on an armchair instead. seven seconds later damian woke up, kicked tim in the side like a rabbit, moved to the armchair with jason, and fell asleep again.

-duke once saw jason tie damian’s shoelaces because damian didn’t want to pause reading a case file to do them himself

-Damian: can somebody help me reach this shelf?

Dick: sure i can-!

Damian: no.

Dick:

Damian: *stares at Jason pointedly*

Jason: ……yeah ok. coming.

Dick:

-one time alfred asked if anyone needed anything from the store and damian declared ‘todd needs new socks.’ and jason just went ‘oh do i?’ and when damian nodded he said to alfred ‘yeah i could do with a pack of socks?’

-jason has kept all of damian’s baby teeth. they’re in a tin kept under his ammo stash.

just those two having a connection that continuously baffles yet resigns the family to the fact that they have to deal with those two codependent idiots 24/7

Microbat sized noibat :3!

Cults Galore

Cults. If the JL had a nickel for every cult dedicated to Marvel they’ve found, they’d have two nickels. Don’t get them wrong, it’s not a lot, but it’s still concerning.

Aquaman, Green Lantern, and Marvel were sent to an alien planet. They needed to establish peaceful contact with the people there. That was the goal. So why? Why in the Gods’ names are the people here all tatted up with lightning bolts suspiciously similar to Marvel’s. Why are they calling Marvel Thavma? And most importantly, why are the three being lead to some type of shrine?

Hal: “Hey uh… I’m sorry to ask, but what does this shrine you told us about have to do with the treaty you need to sign?”

Alien Leader: “They are sacred grounds.”

Hal: “Okay…?”

Alien Leader: *continued to lead them until they came upon a bunch of people petrified into stone. The people were placed in a circle, in the middle was a grand shrine*

Aquaman: “What’s with all the statues?”

Alien Leader: “Statues- ah yes. The statues.” *looks to Marvel* “We’ve all kept them preserved just for you. Just in case that of off chance you decided to grace us with your presence again. And would you look at that? It paid off.”

Marvel: *awkwardly smiles at the Alien leader*

Alien Leader: *looks back ahead*

Marvel: *elbows Aquaman and starts speak in Atlantean* “This guy’s creepy.”

Aquaman: *responds in Atlantean* “I know.”

Hal: “What’d you guys say?”

Marvel: *switches back to English* “We’ll tell you when we get back to the ship.”

*awkward silence of following the Alien Leader*

Aquaman: “So… The statues. You make em or something?”

Alien Leader: “No no no. They’re all soldiers of the people who used to oppress our kind. They were petrified by our very lord themself during the uprising.” *looks over to Marvel* “Do tell me you remember?”

Marvel: *searches though memories and finds out a previous champion had done all of this* “I do.” *looks literally anywhere but Hal and Arthur*

Hal and Aquaman: *immediately share a look*

Later…

Marvel, Hal, and Arthur: *all at a burger joint eating in civvies*

Arthur: “I don’t get it. How do you just fail to mention that you petrified an entire army?”

Marvel: *shrugs* “I kinda forgot.”

Hal: “How do you just forget that? Also, you guys never told me about what you guys were saying. Are you guys gonna spill the beans now or what?”

Marvel: “What are you talking about?”

Hal: “When you elbowed Arthur?”

Marvel: “Ohhhh that.”

Arthur: “We were just talking about how the guy was creepy.”

Hal: *nods head* “True dat. True dat.”

Then there was the second cult. This one’s human though, don’t worry. This cult was found by Marvel, Batman and Robin.

Marvel: “I thought you just said this was just a cult. Not a cult for me.” *looking around at the various tapestries with his lightning bolt symbol*

Robin!Damian: “What makes you think it’s for you?”

Marvel: *gestures to the lightning bolt on his chest, then to the other lightning bolts on the decor of the place*

Batman: “They were worshiping someone named Keraunos.”

Robin!Damian: “And unless your name is Keraunos, it’s not for you.”

Marvel: “I’ll have you know it’s actually one of my names.” *walks until he stops in front of a fountain*

Robin: “You can’t be serious. Why would they worship you of all people? There’s hardly anything of value to worship in the first place.” *follows after him and stops near the fountain too*

Marvel: “Should I be offended by that?” *looks down at the water* “Geez, were they drinking electricity charged water? Normal humans cannot do that.”

Batman: *also walks over and kneels down slightly to read a plaque* “This plaque says the water was blessed by you.”

Marvel: “Uuuhhhh… No it isn’t.” *sticks a finger into the water* “This is just normal electricity.”

Robin: *tries to stick his own finger in*

Batman: *swats Damian’s hand away* “Regardless, what’s causing the electricity?”

Marvel: *puts some of his own lightning into the water*

Batman, Robin, Marvel: *hear something short fuse and look to see something off to the side smoking*

Marvel: “Probably that.”

HAPPY PRIDE!! ✨🏳️‍🌈✨ 🌈

Anything for mdzs with Jiang Yanli? Thank you!

a continuation of 1 2

Jiang Yanli doesn't carry a sword.

The only time Lan Wangji sees her with it is when they're practicing sword forms. She manages the stances and moves easily enough, but can't seem to channel a significant amount of cultivation energy through the blade.

Lan Wangji wonders about her bodyguard.

He doesn't participate in the classes, instead standing the back and observing. They'd never even spoken, only exchanged nods as Jiang Yanli had introduced them.

Brother and Uncle are encouraging him to spend time with Jiang Yanli. Apparently the talks between the elders and the Jiang's council are going well.

If they continue to go well, he could find himself engaged by summer's end.

He comes up on a loose crowd of disciples from every sect, tension running high, and he shoulders his way through to see what the fuss is about.

Jiang Yanli is standing there. Her bodyguard, for once, is nowhere to be seen.

Jin Zixun sneers at her. He wants to intervene, but there are Jiang disciples here keeping their distance. "Jiang Yanli. I see you're swordless. Again."

She just raises an eyebrow. Lan Wangji wonders what Jin Zixun hopes to gain by irritating the heir to the Jiang Sect. The Jiangs might not be as rich as the Jins, but their disciples tend to be stronger and the area they control is greater, even though they have less disciples. Pissing them off isn't a good idea.

"Does your sword even have a name?" he taunts. "I don't understand how someone like you can be the heir to the Jiang. Your clan must be so embarrassed by you."

There's a furious fission among the Jiang disciples, but still they hold their place. If Jiang Cheng was here, he imagines this would be going differently, but he's not.

Jiang Yanli tilts her head to the side, a mocking smile curling around her mouth before she turns away from him to walk away.

"Don't turn your back on me!" he shouts, unsheathing his blade and swinging it down in an arc that will embed itself into her spine.

Lan Wangji moves forward to stop it, but he's too late.

Wei Wuxian is standing where he wasn't before, standing in front of Jiang Yanli's back. He's stopped Jin Zixun's blade with the hilt of his still sheathed sword. Just as quickly as he'd moved before, he yanks Jin Zixun's sword from his hand before jamming the hilt of the sword in his solar plexus then sweeping his feet out in front of him. Between one blink and the next Jin Zixun goes from standing, armed and upright, to groaning on his back with his weapon out of reach.

"My sword's name," Jiang Yanli says calmly, having kept her back to the whole exchange, "is Wei Wuxian."

Wei Wuxian winks at him before turning to step next to Jiang Yanli. They walk away from him arm and arm with their heads held high.

Wei Wuxian hadn't even bothered to draw his sword.

Please Don’t Tell Him to Pull up

The JL has a problem. Specifically a problem with Marvel. See, whenever they call him in for back up or even just to chat, he pulls up in the most ridiculous ways.

JL: *fighting villain on a beach*

Supes: “We need back up! Someone call, Cap!”

Flash: “I thought he was—” *dodges punch* “—busy!”

Supes: “Well, he better become unbusy! Call him!”

They called him, and guess how he decided to show up.

Marvel: *riding surfboard while a big ass Kraken chases after him*

Aquaman: *has to pause, amazed awe*

Supes: “What are you lo— oh my God.” *has to pause too*

Marvel: *does a little kick flip, nearly falls*

The villain didn’t notice him until a large shadow loomed over them, and he was promptly picked up by the Kraken’s beak and taken away.

Flash: “Did we just see a man die?”

Aquaman: “Cap, that was awesome!”

or

JL: *fighting aliens*

Hero: “Guys we need more back up!”

Hero 2: “I’ll call it in!”

5 minutes later…

Marvel: *flying above them and lets himself freefall*

Supes: *pauses* “We have to get out of here.” *can deadass hear him falling*

The JL quickly rounded themselves up and dipped immediately as Billy let himself fall onto a bunch of aliens at like Mach 12 making a crater.

He loves dramatic entrances.