Host Dad

'you never read anymore, you used to love reading' and i have 200 safari tabs open. it never stopped it just got weird

<3

The whole fandom is set on traumatizing these poor kids, so I'm giving them a break and a nice peaceful evening, falling asleep piled up on the common room couch. They deserve the rest ✨ (as we all do honestly)

The world is a bit scary right now, so let's keep bringing peace and sweetness, and remember to take care of ourselves and the ones we love <3

This actually happened to me quite a few times. Bless the terrible English teachers my parents had!!

ao3 being down during the day on july 1st feels like they said "we need to do this update but if we do it during june they'll call it a hate crime" and they were correct

ok but hear me out, quidditch games in the middle of the night

all students praying mcgonagall wont find them out

begging hermione to be the judge of the game

the students playing IN THEIR PJ’S

all houses playing together it’s a mess

draco complaining about everything but begrudgingly having the time of his life 

“malfoy honestly you are gonna slip off that broom in those silk pj’s”

slytherins and hufflepuffs vs gryffindors and ravenclaws

they do it almost every friday night

hagrid watches every single game and cheers for everyone equally

the house elves all know and prepare them a feast of junk food after every game

they have sleepovers at each other’s common rooms after the game because they are too exhausted to go to their own

“can we crash in the slytherin dorm today”

house unity AT ITS FINEST no one gives a fuck

they are all tired af but no one wants to go to sleep so SLEEPOVERS

everyone having extra mattresses under their beds for these occasions

the paintings helping them sneak out by warning them if there’s a teacher coming or not

THE TEACHERS NEVER FINDING OUT (actually they all know they just pretend they don’t)

I love when you draw them with scars,

And with white hair and wrinkles on their face.

I love when you draw them with tattoos and piercings,

With brown and dark skin,

And with sunburns and freckles.

And not skinny or too skinny,

Too short to reach something or looming over their friends.

I love when you draw them old or tired,

With tears in their eyes or when they are still laughing at a joke.

I love when you draw them with their shirts untucked or a hole in their pants,

With unpaired socks and clothes that do not fit them.

I love when you draw them with not "not perfect" makeup, with yellow teeth or hair everywhere,

I love when you draw them different than we saw them in a movie or than they are described in a book

Because they are alive,

Because they are yours (and ours for a moment).

So thank you

When Harry becomes the DADA professor, kids constantly ask him for an autograph, but he refuses, saying the only thing he’ll autograph is a detention slip. Eventually, though, he starts carrying around a stack of autographed pictures of Ginny, which he gives out when people ask for an autograph. It gets really popular, so he starts mixing it up with autographs from other people, mostly Ron and Hermione. But the students love it, so he adds more. Soon he’s giving out autographs from like fifty different people, including all the teachers at Hogwarts, and a bunch of other random people like Luna, Lee Jordan, Oliver Wood, etc. He even has some fairly rare ones from Krum and Fleur. It becomes a game in Hogwarts to collect all the autographs, like chocolate frog cards. Some of them are more limited edition than others, like signatures from all the ghosts (though Harry won’t reveal how he managed to get those). George starts to offer a discount at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes (and a prize autograph from Peeves, who will only sign Bertie Bott’s scratch-and-sniff cards) to anyone who can prove they’ve collected the whole set. Harry provides him with up-to-date lists of autographs to check against. Every Hogsmeade weekend there’s a line of Hogwarts students in WWW’s Hogsmeade branch trying to get the discount.

At some point a seventh year comes up to Harry and asks for his autograph, but not as the Savior of the Wizarding World, but because they now have the autograph of every other Hogwarts teacher and want Professor Potter’s to go with them. Harry–trying not to tear up–agrees, but only in exchange for the student’s signature. He begins offering this deal to all departing seventh years, his autograph in exchange for theirs. He tells them it’s in case they ever get famous, so he can add it as a limited edition autograph, but really he keeps them all in a big binder just for himself, to remember all his students. (A couple times, though, when a students does become famous, he will contact them and ask if they’d like to be added to the game. So far no one has said no.)

When Teddy starts at Hogwarts he begins a black market autograph trade because he has access to a lot of the people Harry gets autographs from. Harry’s other three children proudly continue the trade when they get to Hogwarts. They’re all secretly aided by Ginny.

Remus: how did Reggie first came out to you?

Sirius: well there were always signs, but when he really did, he did it by giving me a bunch of blue cupcakes and a greeting card that said "it's a boy!"

Remus: That's cute

Sirius: It was NOT cute!

Sirius: I thought he was pregnant.

Evan: Yeah, me and Barty don't use pet names.

Pandora: Really? What does a bee make?

Evan: Honey?

Regulus: No, no you're doing it wrong. What do you call a female dog?

Evan: A bitch?

Barty (falling from the ceiling): Yea dickhead?

Evan: *Whispering French into Barty's ear*

Barty: *Literally can't breathe*

Regulus, who's sitting next to him on the couch: *Fighting for his life not to laugh because Evan's not saying anything remotely sexy, he's just complaining about the weather*