You Said Normal Girls Were Boring But You Were Gone When I Showed You The Bar Graph I Made Showing The

In a situation where Madame Pomfrey make the Marauders sign some documents to save time the next time some of them ends up in the enfermary:

Madame Pomfrey: Ok Kids, Im gona need an emergency contact

Peter: Does it have to be our parents?

Madame Pomfrey: ... I guess it will do if it's just some close friend who I can call in an emergency

Sirius: Perfect

Madame Pomfrey: Can you tell me how is this person related to each of you?

Remus: I put one of my only mentally mature friends

Sirius: Oh so definitely not us... I put my brother

James (without even paying attention): I put my boyfrie...

All: ...

Peter: You have a boyfriend???!!!

Sirius: Who will be stupid enough to date you??!!

James: ...

Madame Pomfrey: ...

Madame Pomfrey: The three of you put the exact same person...

Sirius:

Remus:

James:

Remus: Wait...

Sirius: JAMES POTTER ARE YOU DATING MY BROTHER???!!!!!

remus: i wish i could trial dying.

sirius: ...

remus: like a 7 day free trial. cancelable at any point.

sirius: remus, are you okay..?

remus: harder than sleeping. softer than forever.

sirius: remus?!?

regulus: oh yeah. absolutely agree.

the Blacks are sooo cunty. like wdym ur a problematic filthy rich family with a black sheep and a mamas boy who are both gay. the tabloids would eat this up.

the full page (ft my strong sirius propaganda)

Marlene: So, what’s your type?

Dorcas: Blonde, brown eyes, dumb, funny

Marlene: That kinda sounds like me. Too bad I’m not a boy

Dorcas: Did I mention dumb?

Marlene: Yes

Dorcas: Okay, just making sure

Sirius breaking into James' apartment with the whole gang on the morning of his birthday to surprise him.

Sirius making sure everyone is hidden and quiet when footsteps start to approach from the hallway.

Everyone jumping up and shouting surprise at Regulus of all people, clad in nothing but sweatpants that are a little too long to be his own, with aged and new hickeys all over his neck, chest and stomach that undoubtedly also lead under the tightened waistband.

Regulus screaming in fright and retreating back down the corridor to use James as a wall against the onslaught of questions.

Sirius going mad.

without arts & crafts we are in hell

james, on facetime w the boys: and this is the shrine i've made-dedicated to my husband. my husband that's been missing for months now. god, i miss him so much.

remus, w sirius in the frame looking concerned: is this why you called us...?

james: and this is where i sit and hope for his quick return to me. i still catch the smell of his cologne, like a ghost that haunts my now lonely home.

peter: ... james, do you need us to call someone??

james: and here is where i sit and weep, mourning every passing day without him. when will he return! i miss him too much!

regulus, coming back home from walking the dog: what the hell are you doing.

everyone lowkey judging jegulus’ relationship bc james is a YAPPER and literally never shuts up and it seems like reg can never actually get a word in

but behind closed doors regulus talks and talks and talks until he can’t possibly talk anymore and james just sits and smiles as he listens bc he ADORES to hear about anything and everything that regulus has to say

i love them sm someone sedate me