Littlecigs - Out Of Body

"Why are you so negative?"

Because growing up, nothing ever went right, so now I just expect things to go wrong. I expect abandonment, so I either cling on or push away, I expect things to not work out because that's what I've known. Whether it's a relationship, a goal, anything.

I also just have a severely low self-esteem that was consistently reinforced.

It's true that I can be positive when it comes to others' lives. I believe others can heal and become the best versions of themselves, I believe anyone else can deserve happiness and love. Me, on the other hand? Nah.

Found on Facebook

it's like i am literally never going to own a house or find authentic love or escape the clutches of late stage capitalism so really what am i living for

BPD culture is I'd rather die than even feel abandoned.

Literally so impossible to find a real life person nearby that actually wants me and wants to be loyal to me and has stuff in common with me?? Like yeah I'm borderline and frankly kinda dumb and really bad at socializing but fr man I just wanna be someone's lil princess baby girl ok??? Why would the world give me mental illness AND a tight pussy and NOT someone to take care of me????

We manic!!!! Rejoice!!!!

Had a really good day at work. Coworkers complimented me a lot! I feel good about myself :)

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to be here