Latest Posts by lonelyoneszone - Page 2

disabled people who do not directly "contribute" to society and need large amounts of care and resources to survive deserve not only to survive but to have comfort, stability, and fun within their lives while they do. no compromises.

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

it's like. the episode where buck kisses a man for the first time is about eddie and his friendship with eddie. and the subsequent episode dealing with the fallout, which is also the last episode to do any meaningful exploration into his sexuality, is also about eddie. the only non-comedic coming out scene he gets is with eddie. and this is not even good! this is not a ship win! i would so much rather this storyline be afforded the weight it deserves. I don't think it should be about anyone but him, even if there are feelings there. and then he does nothing for the rest of season seven. he starts eight with the perfect opportunity to explore this newfound label of his (friction with known and established bigot gerard) and then he just. doesn't do any of that. and they proceed to make every other storyline this season (!!!) with the exception of an unserious halloween sl. about eddie and his relationship with eddie. they refuse to dedicate any screentime to his actual romantic relationship and have them break up because of perceived romantic tension between him and eddie. and then they end the season with no change in their friendship, no new insights, just a waste of time. as a shipper I'm annoyed by the lack of follow through, yes, but I'm more annoyed that they let their desire to bait their fans prevent them from doing any meaningful plotline with the ideas they were actually willing to commit to. and if i didn't ship them i would probably be even more pissed, but to have that discussion starts with admitting that 1) this is blatant and obvious bait. and 2) the show's inability to commit to or face the obvious undertones of their own writing is actively harming the queer representation that is present. pretending as though queer fans don't have a right to be pissed about that, not just Buck's storylines these past seasons but Hen's as well, is helping no one but the network.

okay so something i noticed about buck and eddie with chris is that they both have a different way that they show affection

for instance, eddie of course hugs chris but he always kisses his hair

while buck will always greet him with a hug or grab his shoulder

and i think that's absolutely beautiful

anyways everything is about buddie except buddie which is about christopher because that's their soonnn

Useful information

something that isn’t talked about enough with chronic illness is knowing that going to your appointments and doing your exercises and all that will help but being in too much pain or too fatigued to go, so your just stuck in this constant cycle of knowing what you need to do to get better but not being able to do it because your sick

if you didn’t realize, ableism is actually bigotry and systemic ableism and inaccessibility are really oppression and it’s not something disabled people brought on ourselves by having bodies&minds that you think are inferior and therefore not worth fighting for. disabled people’s lives and wellbeing matter. we don’t have to earn our worthiness by doing “enough” to deserve a good life. nobody does.

Shout out to the ten year old who just got diagnosed. Shout out to the housebound fourteen year old. Shout out to the eighteen year old who can’t go to the university they wanted. Shout out to the twenty two year old who can’t get a job. Shout out to the twenty six year old with a caretaker. Shout out to the thirty year old who can’t buy their own house.

Shout out to young disabled people. We exist.

There is so much shame that comes with having amnesia and other memory issues.

As someone that has multiple conditions that cause memory loss (DID, TBI, ADHD, etc) we can't even begin to describe the shame and guilt that is conditioned into people who are """forgetful""".

Having memory issues does not make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you are uncaring, lazy, or immature.

Memory is simply one of the many things that people can struggle with. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person. We are conditioned to think otherwise because being "forgetful" makes people less productive to a capitalist society. Society is arranged to make life a living hell for people with memory issues. This is an aspect of structural ableism. People in power do not want people like us to exist because we are less useful to them.

Dont get me wrong - it can absolutely hurt when someone you care about forgets something that's important to you. You're not wrong for feeling upset that someone missed an important date, event, detail, etc. That makes sense and feeling that way is not inherently ableist.

All we ask for is for compassion to be extended to people who struggle with memory. We ask for people to stop assigning moral value to how effective someone's memory is. We desire for social structures to accommodate people of all cognitive functions, not just those who are most productive to a capitalist machine.

And if you are someone with memory issues, know you do not need to be ashamed. We've been conditioned to hold negative beliefs about ourselves and our struggles for somebody else's benefit. Guilt and shame will not resolve our struggles. You are worthy and valuable as you are.

I am no longer explaining my chronic illnesses. I'm only ominously referencing them like I'm a fantasy realm NPC dropping plot hooks:

I am besieged by the affliction

The ritual was successful, but it has drained me. I need time to recuperate.

I can't do that, because of The Curse

Dark forces are conspiring within me. I must conserve my strength to battle them.

Unseen foes assault me. I cannot strike back with blows, but I can lessen their influence by consuming certain alchemical rites.

Me trying to figure out what’s causing this new symptom

(I forgot but should have added burnout and migraines)

ALT text under cut

[alt text]

The Pepe Silvia meme of a Caucasian man holding a cigarette while looking like he’s lost his mind, pointing to a large conspiracy board.

Written in red in random places and terrible handwriting is autism, bipolar, adhd, hypermobility, anxiety, depression, PCOS, ptsd.

In brighter red is meds then mystery illness with six exclamation marks after it.

having comorbidities that contradict/contraindicate each other is so stupid man.

you have PMDD. every time you get your period you spend the week before on the edge of a major depressive episode and lose all hope for the future. unfortunately for you, you also have PCOS, which makes Hell Week entirely unpredictable.

so you try to stabilize and predict Hell Week via birth control. but wait! you have migraines with aura! all hormonal birth control is now contraindicated for you, because it increases your risk of death.

ah, well, fuck. okay, well, you have pcos and your hormones are out of wack, let’s get those back on track. but guess what! that’s hormonal birth control again! so your testosterone stays high, and you have chronic acne now.

well, okay, let’s leave the hormones alone. let’s just deal with the acne. however the high-strength acne prescriptions cause such bad birth defects that you are almost legally required to be on some form of birth control. can you see where i’m going with this?

okay, so birth control would “solve” all your problems at the risk of maybe making one thing worse. let’s chance it. oops! you’re now horrifically depressed for a third of every month—and not just that, but your migraines did get worse, and now you’re barely functional.

fuck fuck fuck, get off that. stop taking that. go get an MRI just in case. well, i hope you enjoy migraines, because for some reason that birth control experiment did lasting damage. but don’t worry, your MRI is completely clean!

just. comorbidities, man.

hate when i say “i can’t do [thing] because of my autism” and hear (usually lower support needs) autistics say “well i’m forced to do [thing] so i have to” in response.

there will be autistics who never can do [thing] no matter how forced, no matter how punished, no matter how anything.

i can’t force myself to do [thing] i can’t do. not ever.

many autistics like me.

especially hate hearing autistics say “well if i didn’t do [thing] i would get abused” as if we autistics also didn’t get abused, except we still couldn’t do [thing].

you are dismissing higher support needs autistic who are or have been abused.

* [thing] here can be literally anything, doing chores, eye contact, speaking, socialising, get good grades in school etc.

Hobbies that able bodied people recommend as very accessible but actually aren’t; (if you find these exhausting it’s ok - many do and you aren’t weaker or less than or unworthy or being a “buzz kill” or “over dramatic” bcs you need more rest than these hobbies provide💓)

Reading - eye strain, hand pain - it’s expensive in general and more expensive if you need physical aids to help you do it.

Knitting or crochet - this one feels more obvious - sure your not going for a hike but this is a lot of movement for people who either have fatigue, foggy brains or inflammation😗

Shows or movies - more so but then there are the flashing lights, bright color, many sounds and if you’re like me the brain fog can make you feel pretty stupid when trying to keep up with the plot.

Collectibles - expensive! And often requires a lot of travelling to get limited editions or to explore second hand shops to chance upon one of those items.

Video games - I’m gonna cut to the chase and just say anything with bright colors and loud sounds and lots of hand stuff is pretty much the last thing many disabled people want to do on a flare day. Quick response times too can really suck when the fog is just consuming every single coordinated thought!

Cooking or baking - it’s alot of standing if you don’t have an accessible kitchen. And having a kitchen like that can be expensive or at least very time consuming as you travel from second hand shop to second hand shop to find the needed equipment.

Yoga - fuck off. It’s so obvious why this is an issue just like strength training and cardio.

This is not at all to say that disabled people can’t do or can’t enjoy these things. It’s more to say that what is easy for an abled person isn’t necessarily easy for a disabled person. And that doing these tasks exert excess energy. Even our hobbies tire us at time and require a lot of effort to have.

I love reading and knitting and writing. And I do it when I can but I’m aware my hands aren’t as nimble and happy with me so I can’t do it as much as I want. I work out too but to my limits and I’m aware that if I fuck up and do too much I will have consequences (if I can even do that thing).

My point really starts and ends with; a disabled person remains disabled even when doing cosier or nicer activities. And those tasks cost spoons just like other ones. And those tasks can be harmful when a person is not in a position to enjoy them - which can be more often for a disabled person. So it’s important to have a level of empathy for the kind of rest people need and their limitations (which may not be in places you expect).

It's Fibromyalgia Day!

its all 'be gay do crime' until a black person starts making allusions to drugs or sex or god forbid VIOLENCE and then it turns out nobody can handle anything more hardcore than downloading illegal torrents of hamilton

can i add something. in my personal opinion the way people speak about eddie, the way people seem almost gleeful to accuse him of 'abusive behavior' or 'manipulation' or whatever else, is directly connected to the way they talk about ryan. and the way they don't talk about lfj. i've said it before but it's that casualness people exhibit while loudly and proudly accusing ryan of certain political and societal views, acting like their assumptions are an excuse for racism, WHILE twisting themselves into pretzels to excuse the behavior of their white fave who objectively has a whole portfolio of highly questionable behavior, both in his career, personal life and social media habits. it's just. a casual thing to do. it's like there's nothing wrong with it, it's normal. it's accepted. it's normal to find millions of excuses and explanations for the wildest shit when the man you're defending is white. but when he's not, god help him. the same goes for fictional characters. white guy does racial workplace harassment for fun? he's closeted, misunderstood, he's protecting himself even though he was quite literally meant to represent casual workplace bigotry. but when eddie diaz as much as waves a finger at buck? somebody call the cops, he's a danger to society, he needs to be medicated, he needs to be locked up, he's a piece of shit. it's not new, this attitude has existed in our fandom long before little racist tommy ever came back BUT tim bringing him back and trying to completely erase the context that he (and gerrard) were first introduced in has enabled a ton of fucked up behavior, too. and tim and whoever else keeping that pos hired made it worse. anyway.

but i didn't save them 5.13 // 8.17

"eddie is toxic" "buck is self-obsessed" I'm taking buddie away from you people. and never giving them back. kys

Learned today that the Plagiarism Machine (AKA Ch*tGPT) often incorporates em dashes into the drivel "writing" it produces, to the point people now flag em dash usage as an indicator a given bit of writing was produced by the Plagiarism Machine.

(It uses em dashes, one should note, because it was trained on material written by people who use them, AKA creative writers. See again: Plagiarism Machine.)

This is deeply distressing to me as a writer who has never-not-once used the Plagiarism Machine, because I LOVE EM DASHES SO FUCKING MUCH. I use them constantly. But since I would be MORTIFIED if someone thought I was using plagiarism software to produce my work, I caught myself momentarily contemplating striking them from my writing toolbox (or at least using them less frequently).

But here's the thing: I refuse to let a soulless, capitalist hellscape device chase me away from something I enjoy, let alone dictate the writing style I've developed over the course of two decades.

To make myself feel better about continuing on as normal—no matter what the fuck the Plagiarism Machine may say about it—I decided to do some research. The Plagiarism Machine was released in 2022. My most notable online work is Lucky Child, which began serialization in 2017. Even earlier samples of my work feature frequent em dash usage. Thus, my em dash usage predates the Plagiarism Machine by a not inconsiderable margin. For proof (and to comfort myself that no one could ever try and claim my em dash usage is indicative of the Plagiarism Machine's influence) I decided to look at the first chapter of Lucky Child, and—

I literally use one in the opening line.

I use a total of 9 in the first chapter alone.

The Plagiarism Machine owes every creative writer on the internet both a thank-you for the lesson in em dash usage AND an apology for absorbing that lesson without our consent.

Every fucking time Eddie Diaz says “you’re making this about you,” what he means is “I needed help and I wanted you and you weren’t there,” and that makes me FUCKING INSANE

you’re not the only one—

ai bros need to understand that llms are basically a text predicting newspaper collage. human creativity is nothing like a ransom note.

I’m obsessed with the fact that multiple times this season now we’ve gotten to see buddie fights play out specifically with Eddie throwing around the “you make things all about you” line and I will always maintain that that does not reflect absolute reality (although Buck can be self centered sometimes, as can we all) but is actually Eddie saying, I resent that you can so easily allow yourself to be loud and obvious about your pain while I MUST™️ lock mine away deep inside and I can only let it out under the guise of anger at you (my best friend who I know will forgive me) I love them both so much 🥰

let me get this straight. he plays the piano, he has a tragic backstory, he is doomed by the narrative, AND the mechanics call him their princess? is charles leclerc real or is he a fanfic character

I know there's been some controversy on whether pcos and related conditions count as intersex but I think in the current political climate there is no space for community discourse and instead an urgency of community building and solidarity. Politically, I'm claiming the intersex label. I refuse to accept the narrow view of sex and gender presented by this regime. The way I look, caused by the way my body works, is already a category crisis for them and I refuse to make it easier for them.

i get so happy when people that are new to fanfic writing, or just writing in general, post their work on ao3. despite their doubts, despite their fear of something so personal and vulnerable being perceived, they still press that button, and i turn into the equivalent to a proud mom cheering on the sidelines. like yes! you did that! your work is worth seeing! you deserve to share your passion for and be part of a community! i’m so proud of you!