It's Raining Nonstop Where I Am So I'm Just Picturing The Batfam During A Flood.

Tim, 36 hours of sleep driving like a madman on Gotham roads: FUCKING MOVE. SLOW MOTHER FUCKER WHAT ARE YOU- OH YEAH? JUST WONDER TO THE RIGHT WITHOUT SIGNALLING WHY DONT YA? MAYBE NEXT TIME JUST DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND CRASH INTO THAT GODDAMN TRUCK THATS BACKING OUT THAT YOU DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO GODDAMN SEE-

Damian, just wanting to get to school since Alfred couldn’t drive him: I assure you these imbeciles are not worth your anger Dra-

Tim: I SWEAR IF ANYONE CUTS ME OFF ONE MORE TIME.

*Gets cut off*

Tim: ALRIGHT BITCHES. I WARNED YOU.

Damian, screaming: DRAKE. STOP THIS INSTANT. DRAKE. YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD-

tfw ur uhhh """"partner""" uno reverses your kabedon

Insane things that Will did that make him much worse than Hannibal:

He had a gun with him when Hannibal stabbed him and he didn't even try to fight back, he let himself be held as his bowels were falling out

He foreplayed with his therapist during therapy

He had to be stopped from shooting a guy crawling out of a horse all because he had psychosexual rage towards his therapist and wanted to take it out on the guy he was supposed to catch

Flew to Europe to sneak around Hannibal's old property, called the scar on his stomach a 'smile' and forced Chiyoh to kill the guy she's been keeping a prisoner because he wanted to see what she would do, then turned his corpse into a grotesque art piece with no witnesses to that

He sailed to Europe and told the detective there that 'he doesn't know what he'll do when he sees Hannibal so he should be careful' ?? (brother you're there to catch Hannibal....)

He sat with Hannibal in the gallery saying the most romantic shit ever, failed to stab him and then he just let Hannibal dig the bullet out and drug him??? (you can't convince me he didn't have an ounce of energy to fight back or see that coming mr I tell the future with senses)

He started combing his hair back after Hannibal tried to saw open his brain... ok whore

He got jealous when Hannibal started admiring a serial killer

He never once complained about eating Hannibal's cooking & he KNEW it was people...

🦅 here

Part 14 master-post

The batfam trauma candy salad would go absolutely insane.

Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.

Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.

Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?

Jason: nerds.

Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.

Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.

Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.

Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.

Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-

Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.

Damian: My mother randomly dropped me on some weird man's doorstep when I was ten. I brought rock candy.

Part 30! I'm with Duke ngl

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Peter: Mr. stark can I borrow 2500 dollars?

Tony: Yeah sure but what's it for?

Peter: ...an escape room

Tony: what kind of escape room costs 2500 dollars??

Peter: ...prison

Dumb thing that would not leave my brain

Worst case of youngest child privilege I have ever seen

Damian is not above using his status as Baby to get what he wants. At the same time, the Bats know that their littlest family member using his power (rare though it may be) is a sign of affection. Nobody says anything because Damian feeling comfortable enough to act his age (even if it is a manipulation tactic) means he trusts them.

Also? It’s fucking adorable.

Bruce is a man of principles and discipline, but he’s ready to shave his head and steal Lex Luthor’s identity no questions asked when Damian silently crawls into his lap. He was on a shareholders videoconference the first time the boy did it. No amount of money, notoriety, or achievements will ever compare to Damian laying his head on his father’s chest, sighing quietly, and closing his eyes peacefully as board members oohed and awwed. Screenshots went viral almost immediately. #BabyWayne trended for weeks.

Bruce booked them a trip to Chicago to see the new tiger exhibit at the zoo that Damian had mentioned over breakfast. He absolutely knew he’d been had and oh fucking well.

Then Damian does it again. And again and again, with no ask beforehand. When Bruce finally asked what was going on, the littlest Wayne said he was cold and simply required a heat source. Bruce pressed a kiss to his boy’s hair and read the quarterly reports over his head. And then took him out for new art supplies. And got him a pet lizard. And some ice cream. And yes, Alfred, I have a problem, but look at him! 🥹