"Oh, Damian Was Such An Asshole" "The Bats Tried To Integrate Him He's Just Ungrateful!" "He Had No Reason

mmm WIP

i promised you 🦋

(crossposting from x, bsky, & ig)

Bruce says he doesn't have a favorite kid, but he does and its 100% Damian.

Not for being his blood son, not for his skills. No. It's simply because Damian deserves it. He's too damn cute to not be the favorite.

When Bruce first met Damian, it felt like his heart was exploding and shattering and beating out of his chest all at once. It didn't get better during that first night with Damian in the manor, the boy scolding Bruce for peeking into his room every hour.

Damian, wide awake laying awkwardly in a large bed: Stop checking on me. I am fine.

Bruce, holding back tears as he closes Damians bedroom door: Okay...

Bruce got to be a father for Dick and Jason and Tim, but those were different. He found those boys (or they found him), but with Damian, the boy was hidden from him. Tucked out of sight and out of mind and Bruce felt guilty. He fathered at least 3 boys before his own son. He had at least 3 chances to get it right and he still hadn't. This one had to be perfect.

So yeah. Damian is his favorite. His favorite to coddle, his favorite to give gifts to, his to love and cherish and do everything right for. It helps that Damian is literally so fucking adorable and small and soft when hugged.

Still think this is the funniest Hannibal post I’ve ever seen

Worst case of youngest child privilege I have ever seen

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]

(and tim and alfred the cat)

This thing i've made, with the barbie movie trend...

I live for Damian fully embracing his role as the feral younger brother and im not afraid to admit it.

Tim, on the phone: I can't make it to the meeting, I have a family emergency.

Hangs up and turns to see Damian hanging upside down from his ceiling

Tim: How long have you been there?!

Damian: Long enough to know your password is "RedRobinYum123."

Tim: GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

———

Dick: Damian, did you threaten the mailman again?

Damian: He was suspiciously regular in his arrival times. No one is that consistent without nefarious intent.

Dick: That's... literally his job.

Damian: Then why did he run when I appeared in the bushes with my katana?

———

Jason: Has anyone seen my leather jacket?

Damian walks by wearing Jason's jacket that reaches his knees

Jason: That's my—

Damian: I've claimed it as spoils of war. You fell asleep on patrol.

Jason: I was shot with tranquilizer darts!

Damian: Excuses are for the weak, Todd.

De aged Damian that doesn’t recognize anyone but Jason.

He’s like 3-5 years old and vehemently refuses any physical contact from anybody except for Jason. Dick is absolutely distraught and Jason is trying not to audibly awe at how adorable little dami was.

For the few days that he’s lil dami, you will never see him without being attached to Jason is some sort of capacity. Breakfast? He’s sitting next to or on Jason. Nap time? You think he wouldn’t fall asleep on his elder brother’s abdomen? Damian is in the cave? He’s latched onto Jason’s leg and telling him he is prohibited from leaving him to go on patrol (Dick offers to stay back with him and Damian bites him).