As Long As Ur My Partner In Time >_>

The Ena dream bbq brainworms got to me , so I had to make a shadowvanilla au, basically ill work on this in more detail later, but for now have this :3

Clark: Bruce are you okay?? Your heartbeat is going crazy do I need to call someone?

Bruce: hm (negative)

Clark: Bruce how long has it been since you slept

Bruce: hn (neutral)

Clark, eyes narrowed: Bruce.

Bruce: 2

Clark: Two, what? Two days?

Bruce: hm….. (negativ)

Clark: TWO WEEKS?

Bruce:

Clark: HOW ARE YOU EVEN STILL ALIVE

Bruce: I’m not alive. I’m Batman

Clark:

🦇 vampire damian doodle dump 🦇

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

Okay, don't get me wrong here. I LOVE Jurassic Park. I love seeing their dinosaurs. But after watching Prehistoric Planet, and going back to look at this...

And then looking at this...

Notice how much healthier the second set looks? Their lips cover their teeth, they actually have fat on their bodies, their skin doesn't wrinkle like they're dehydrated. You can't see every single tendon and muscle move because you aren't supposed to. Dinosaurs are animals, not reptilian body-builders.

THIS is the kind of change I want to see in how we create realistic depictions of not only dinosaurs, but all prehistoric creatures. Paleoart has always had a huge issue with shrink-wrapping and making these animals look terrifying instead of making them look like, well, animals.

Well done, BBC.

Worst case of youngest child privilege I have ever seen

Damian giving people the nastiest reads ever for no reason at all, is so fucking funny. He's just that friend that takes it to far...

Bruce: This case at Wayne orphanage–

Damian: You know, it's disconcerting you own a building full of potential back-up Robins

Bruce:...

Stephanie: Union makes strength, Damian, we are better together

Damian: Is that why you and Tim are breaking up?

Tim:...

Bruce: I'd like you to have friends you have more in common with than killing

Damian: We have more in common than that, we all have poor relationships with our fathers too

Dick: I've been doing high-wire acts all my life, I'm the fastest in the air

Damian: You sure you're not scared of heights, Ric?

Dick: That's just mean...

Bruce: You are acting like a 10 year old heartless brat

Damian: And you were easier to look up to when you weren't around

really enjoyed this scene from fraycheck by surveycorpsjean on ao3

Damian is not above using his status as Baby to get what he wants. At the same time, the Bats know that their littlest family member using his power (rare though it may be) is a sign of affection. Nobody says anything because Damian feeling comfortable enough to act his age (even if it is a manipulation tactic) means he trusts them.

Also? It’s fucking adorable.

Bruce is a man of principles and discipline, but he’s ready to shave his head and steal Lex Luthor’s identity no questions asked when Damian silently crawls into his lap. He was on a shareholders videoconference the first time the boy did it. No amount of money, notoriety, or achievements will ever compare to Damian laying his head on his father’s chest, sighing quietly, and closing his eyes peacefully as board members oohed and awwed. Screenshots went viral almost immediately. #BabyWayne trended for weeks.

Bruce booked them a trip to Chicago to see the new tiger exhibit at the zoo that Damian had mentioned over breakfast. He absolutely knew he’d been had and oh fucking well.

Then Damian does it again. And again and again, with no ask beforehand. When Bruce finally asked what was going on, the littlest Wayne said he was cold and simply required a heat source. Bruce pressed a kiss to his boy’s hair and read the quarterly reports over his head. And then took him out for new art supplies. And got him a pet lizard. And some ice cream. And yes, Alfred, I have a problem, but look at him! 🥹