Teenage Damian: Father, I Have Something Very Important To Tell You. Richard Has Assured Me It Will Not

Damian being an Anime fan is so funny to me, because he's the one people would expect it from the least.

Bruce is at an event and gets asked about his kids interests, and he is like "Oh, where to start! One of my boys, he loves those Japanese caricatures, you know. He buys these comic books that are backwards... He's always reading them."

And everyone turns to look at Tim.

Tim, resident cool skater boy, with his vintage cameras and old school Vans is like "??"

Then Bruce goes, "And another one of them. Oh, how he likes likes classic literature. Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf, you name it."

And everyone turns to Damian.

Damian, who radiates old money and talks like a Victorian child stuck in the 21st century. Yet spends his time kicking his feet to Shoujo Manga and drawing OCs, is like "??"

And somewhere in Crime Alley Jason feels a disturbance in the force

.

Batkids calling Bruce when they need him.

Dick gets arrested for underage drinking call my dad now he's not in the slightest scared but he wants his dad. Bruce who already got bail done and is wrapping Dick in a blanket.

Jason crashes a car already on the phone with Bruce who is speeding to him.

Tim is falling asleep at the office and wants to go home dad please pick me up. Waking up tucked in Bruce's bed.

Damian gets in a fight at school you call my father right now. He suspended but Bruce hugs him on the way out.

Cass standing face to face with David Cain the man who should have been her father but isn't but before she can scream for Bruce she's wrapped in his cape.

Duke calling Bruce because the kids at school have never been nice to a kid from the wrong side of the tracks and getting ice cream just because.

Stephanie just calling Bruce to talk knowing no matter how busy he is there will be time for her.

Babs who even though Jim Gordon is a great man after a nightmare about the joker only wants one man. Bruce running in the middle of the night to her door. Wrapping his batgirl in his arms.

Kids who aren't afraid to call Dad. He wont be mad he wants them to call. To know he will drop everything to get to his boys, or his girls. Scared birds shouting for the big bad bat and he comes running.

Batboys do stupid shit like compete to see who can eat the spiciest food. It’s what siblings do. It’s the law.

Duke finds ramen on Amazon with an honest-to-God warning label on it. “Caution - Do not handle with bare hands.” The boys unanimously decide that this is the ultimate test. They all regret it.

Dick asks Bruce if he wants to join them and the older man wants no parts. There’s no way this ends without vomit, painful gas, heartburn, spice in eyes, or all of the above. Bruce refuses to suffer and simply warns them not to make a mess.

Jason’s the first one down. Duke’s preparing four bowls and when Jason catches a whiff of the sauce, he tears up instantly and taps out. He’s already died once and refuses to do it again so soon.

Damian’s been eating spicy food since he cut his first tooth, but a single taste has him hiccuping. He puts his chopsticks down and runs to the sink, annoyed that he couldn’t win but more focused on willing the food to come back up. Jason rubs his back and offers him some milk to chug. Best case scenario, it helps with the spice. Worst case, you finally puke.

Dick and Tim manage a few mouthfuls each before disaster strikes. Tim starts sweating and his nose starts running. Before taking his fourth bite, he sneezes. Dick laughs while he’s chewing and something goes down the wrong pipe and oh God, it’s in my nose! He hacks and claws at his face, feeling the excruciating burn in his sinuses. He doesn’t realize that he’s got sauce on his hand until he presses his fingers into his sinuses and brushes his eye.

Damian doesn’t mean to laugh as Dick drops to the floor and writhes in agony, but it’s kind of funny. Of course, that’s when his single bite decides to come back up. Jason would find hilarious if the little gremlin hadn’t yakked all over his new shirt. And shoes. And fucking hell, how is there so much, you only took one bite!

Bruce comes into the kitchen and audibly gasps at the carnage as Tim finishes one last bite to solidify his win. The teen grins triumphantly, but the victory is short-lived. Everyone can hear his stomach gurgle unpleasantly and, to Tim’s credit, he simply pulls out a bottle of Pepto Bismol and takes a swig.

“Worth it,” he groans, beating a fist against his chest as uncomfortable heat blooms beneath his sternum. “I’ll wear this heartburn with pride.”

Duke recorded the whole thing. He saves it as “Stupid Shit” on his phone and posts it on Instagram with the hashtag #WeWereUnsupervised.

Imagine if Harley and Peter studied at the same school, but Harley is like in the 3rd grade and Peter is in the 2nd grade and during the day they fight, but Peter completely changes personality when he argues with him because Harley is one of the few people who can really irritate him, so everyone is shocked like

*Harley and Peter arguing*

Harley: I'M NOT LISTENING TO SOMEONE THAT MATCHES THE COLOR OF THEIR UNDERWEAR WITH THE COLOR OF THEIR SHIRT!

Peter: >:0

Everyone at school: How does he know that?-

Flash: Black...

Peter: BIG TALK TO THE GUY WHO SET THE KITCHEN ON FIRE DOING RAW NOODLES!

Harley: THAT WAS ONE TIME!

Peter: YOU KNOW IT WASN'T!

And everyone is shocked, MJ and Ned are like: Bros Code...

Protective, jealous, and possessive

Cork ‘im Daisuke‼️‼️‼️‼️

typical type of siblings

That one scene that I’ve been repeating to myself since I left the theater

I have this headcanon that Duke is like… the only person who can shit talk Damian to his face and everyone else is flabbergasted bc like- its damian, but Duke lives with the guy and actually has no chill, so Damian allows it because… Duke’s like… his closest brother because they live together.. like-

Damian: *scowling around at people at a very important social event* Dick: *trying to get him to smile* Duke: *flatly, snaps his fingers twice in Damian’s direction* Fix your face Critter Dick: *ready to hold Damian back if he attacks* Damian: *bats Duke’s hand away, but smooths out his expression and almost looks… normal* ~ Duke and Jason: *having a discussion* Damian: *walks in* D+J: *laugh* Damian: What am I missing? Duke: *without missing a beat* a few inches of height Jason: *agog* Damian: *rolls eyes* ~ Robin: I need to get to the top of that wall Signal: You do? Damn. Thats a shame. *whistles* Damian: *scowling* Duke: Do you have something to ask, short stack? Dick: *ready to intervene on Duke’s behalf* Damian: *through gritted teeth*  Could you help me up the wall, Signal? Please. Duke: *smirks. Yeets him up* Dick: *gagged* Bruce: *used to it, sighs*