I Was Jumanji’d Too When I Was A Kid But No One Cared

of course you have blood all over you. and pronouns

🟪 minecraft-elvis follow

woah mama i tried to water bucket clutch in the nether

🟦 speedrunner-elvis follow

woah mama you suck

🟪 minecraft-elvis

bitch

🟦 speedrunner-elvis

wooaaahhh mama @/elvis-corrector he didn't say the line woah mama

🔫 elvis-corrector follow

say the fucking line or you go to the big toilet in the sky

🟪 minecraft-elvis

woah mama i'm being threatened *wiggles my legs in defence*

🔬elvis-scientist follow

this elvis is clearly in distress, they only wiggle their legs in such a funky way to ward off predators, the little guy thinks his life is in danger please be more responsible with your elvis husbandry

🔍 elvis-detector follow

BEEP

no no No no no no no

you aren’t supposed to follow people you know irl on tumblr

at the goth bbq eating corn on the macabre

I admit to having plenty of faults. I’m an imperfect person. But at least I don’t say “whoa what kinda drugs were they on when they made this?” when I see something with the slightest hint of surrealism

popular culture used to be very much about eroticism. rockstars used to be on stage in sequins and thongs and thigh high boots playing guitars like they were masturbating. girls used to wear velvet mini dresses and no bras and red-brick-brown lipstick and mascara on their bottom lashes. people used to have body hair on television and in the movies. people used to be sweaty. people used to touch each other over denim and under cotton. foreplay used to be staring at someone over the rim of a glass across a bar across a park across a dinner table. people used to want. i think we’ve lost something

i think there are some people who say ‘it’s okay to like [xyz thing], but you should critically examine why you like it’, but what they actually mean by that is that your critical examination should lead you to very specific, negative conclusions. a lot of times, an answer along the lines of ‘i have critically examined my taste for [xyz thing], and i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay’ is treated as unacceptable.

dude im not applying to your job on squeamix dot com.