Spore Print Of Amanita Muscarius. Our Edible Toadstools And Mushrooms And How To Distinguish Them. 1895.

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ASTRO OBERVAciones

merc in gemini gives someone wit.

merc in 11th can indicate being good in foreign languages

cancers have a little walk they do. like they kinda scuffle, move slow. cancers give themselves away to me by their walk.

cancers also have a distinct mouth. it’s like their teeth and how protrudes out a little.

scorpio operates on an intense vibration. other signs will recognize the tension and may take offense. but that’s not always the intention. it makes one better tolerate the bullshit.

aries will say what everyone is thinking. even if it’s not polite. but it’s just pure expression, innocent almost.

gemini will say something just to make you mad. but will say something teasingly to show you’re above it.

leos can be surprisingly cold.

sagittarius to me has a noble spirit. esteem, honor and reputation. adventurous, exploration. but also want to have a good time and is not afraid to dive into the party.

sagittarius features are long, tall cheeks.

the most recognizable part of a sagittarius is their jovial and grandiose attitude towards things. it’s contagious. famous.

many presidents have had sun in 10th house.

stelliums run in the family / people who are close to you.

mars might give more to physical attributes than we’ve been lead to believe o.0

houses 1-6 are more small town / rural farm

houses 7-12 are more big city cosmopolitan

libra brings the divine to earth

virgo is the seeds that are sewn

the body we carry

sun in 12th feels like a repellent. like an energetic barrier is between you and how you relate to others. imposed space. lone wolf. like when you put the same sides of a magnet together, but with other ppl.

STAND YOUR GROUND

EVEN IF YOU shake & tremble

nimble nimble

jack be nimble

OH MY GOD

DO I HAVE

A PIMPLE

my prince of kentucky, made me feel so -lucky

from within him a dark light, first alleviated my plight. // a call from a ghost, taunted me the most.

parasites of confusion, try to take host //

yet i still want to stay, simply can’t keep away. see the smile in his eye, you’ll understand why. //

anger& stone, an empty car ride alone. with shattered pieces, can love still be known? i don’t want to accept, that our feelings are outgrown

can’t be my home, if he prefers to roam. but i keep coming back, he is my crack

in awe & terror, possible margins of error.blind me in ways, fog up my gaze. the tears that fall, pain me for days.

still i am here, and yes, it feels queer. his invitation on a whim, i lay next to him my feet, cold. they clammer, it’s dim

roses have their thorns, messages from the unborn. i eat the sweet bread, see visions of the dead. sacrament. new hope. a reason to tread

though not gone yet, please don’t let me bet. i’ll always remember, the first moments we met

broken & hollow fleeting internet follows // my red bedroom walls, these urges to wallow //

uncertainty abound, is all i’ve really found

love somehow remains

& is the direction i’ll follow

ok so i really wanna write a screenplay about my summer. i think it’d make a really good queer indie film. i’m more a visual person but i hate writing scripts. i might just make it a short story or novella first, but i think i am on to something. there’s too much creative energy flowing through me, i’ve been wanting to focus and write it for a while now.

the premise is two gay guys in the south and their following romance. i’m not sure how much i want it to be autobiographical. id say about 50% of it will be true or based on the truth. the details surrounding their personal lives aren’t too important. there will be character 1 & 2 and they are the primary focus. there might be a friend for the bear and the ex for the twink that will get some coverage. family for twink. maybe just sister for bear.

but the first scene of the film, the shot will see the ocean and then go down to a young blond twink eating at a hotel restaurant on the coast. hell be looking pensive then his older boyfriend will come to the table and greet him. like sugar daddy vibes. then it will be a flashback to the summer.

it will have the two gay guys — one a twink and one a bear — falling in love in the lower middle class / middle class urban south. there will be drug use, id specifically like to have mathematics in a scene or two. i know there’s not a lot of that in media and it also is common in the gay population in a way i think straights don’t realize. i know it’s not exactly palpable for the public, but it’s so common especially in the south, i think it needs its moment in the spotlight. i’ve considered just having molly or cocaine or maybe even LSD. G should also have a mention cuz that’s another gay culture drug. poppers are definitely a must. all that could be considered. but i think it deserves a mathematics scene.

there will be at least one scene of domestic violence. that would probably be the climax of the film. it doesn’t have to be graphic, but hey im not throwing that out the window either. it could stay true to the dull, slow indie rhythm. as long as there is an emotional intensity surrounding it. maybe a bloody nose at least.

i don’t want too many details about the boyfriend twink is with in the opening scene. but there might be a scene where he is in california about 1/4 into the movie, so the viewer remembers it’s a flashback. twink could just be walking around LA though. maybe a scene in SF where he kisses new boyfriend sugar daddy vibes.

and there should probably be a good sex scene or two. again, not enough bear - twink combo in media. the bear / twink combo is important cuz that’s not seen enough of.

that’s all i’ve got for now.

twink will just be exiting an unsatisfying relationship, (partner accidentally had sex with twink’s father), + he gets his onlyfans deleted. so bear is new summer romance. but then it gets ugly. i want the twink’s lack of finances to be emphasized. but also his work ethic.

but i want the viewers to fall in love with the characters like they are with them, falling in love with them. i want it to be heart wrenching, and believable. i want the viewers to feel the emotions of the actors.

Hilma Af Klint

My Languages

part 1

in order of when i picked it up. I grew up in an english speaking home, had friends who only spoke english, and really did not get any conscious exposure to another language until i was around 7 years old. my great grandmother on my mom’s side, married into the family, was a lovely woman from Tokyo whom we called Chick. she awoke my interest in other languages and cultures. i was eager to learn japanese from her, and she taught me some. just a few sentences here and there.

it wasn’t until middle school that i really got back into languages. i remember feeling excited for moving to high school, and being able to take french. i told my father over dinner at one of our favorite mexican restaurants, where he, my sister, and i would almost ritualistically go to [until it burned down]. he was quite irate that i had fancied french over spanish, and understandably so. spanish is much, much more common and useful in the united states than french is. however, i couldn’t be deterred. i was naturally drawn to french, and that’s what i would choose. i primed myself using google translate, looking up random words here and there. i would go on to study it for four years in high school. i was the top of my class, and everyone knew it. i just simply loved french and was good at it. i was fortunate enough to take IB French (international baccalaureate) which i can’t brag enough about. ib was awesome. like a breath of fresh air compared to the crap american standardized education feeds us. well, anyway. french will go along to become my major in university, not so much due to passion or interest, but because it’s common enough that it’s a major at most universities. france isn’t my favorite country and i don’t really want to live there. i’d choose quebec or luxembourg or belgium first. but hopefully it serves me well.

japanese was my other focus. in middle school i got into anime (death note specifically) besides already being madly in love and obsessed with pokémon and yugioh. i attempted to teach myself katakana. i remember thinking my name kyle would be キユレ kiyure, cuz i didn’t know how katakana worked back then. it’d probably be more like カイヨウル. however aside from that i didn’t really have much more need or pressure to learn more. the high school i would later go on to offered japanese, but for some reason that escapes my memory, i never took it. i ended up taking four languages in high school, but japanese was not one of them.

i guess this would be a good segue into spanish. but back to japanese first. i would later study japanese in college, centre college, to be exact. im thankful i did because i was able to write my great grandma chick a letter with the japanese i had learned. she was living in north carolina with my grandma and step grandpa, as she lay dying. i wasn’t able to see her before she passed, but my grandma said she loved my letter and wouldn’t stop mentioning it. lol.

synchronicitly, my japanese professor would be an awesome mormon man who i would have a good rapport with, because i was passionately mormon at this time in my life. and he was pretty awesome. he probably just thought i was some dumb kid, and i was. but if you’re reading this brother dixon, おはようございます！「元気ですか？」

i supposed i have lied, though. i forgot that i studied spanish in elementwrycschooo. so i did have exposure to foreign languages. we did not take spanish in middle school though, which is odd and embarrassing tbh. but i would later take spanish in high school for three weeks, before i dropped it because my class mates were pronouncing me llamo like... mee lahmo. not may ahmo like literally anyone should know by now.... so i switched to chinese.

inspired by avatar the last air bender, and an anxious and impulsive desire, i signed up for chinese class to get away from the heathens who didn’t know elementary spanish. why i didn’t ask if japanese or german was available, and honestly now that i think of it, i may have. at least one or the other. i distinctly remember being told chinese was available, and i just took it. so began my journey with 中文.

spanish was too easy and nothing about spain or south america really draws me. i do like argentina though, and catalan seems interesting. and definitely portuguese, but that’s not spanish!

before i continue on that though, let’s rewind. my knack for languages was already blossoming in middle school, even though i hadn’t had any formal study besides elementary school spanish from señor ramos. i told my dad as we sat together at the dinner table that i wanted to learn five languages. i was surprised later when he brought it back up, because i didn’t think he had remembered. looking back, i guess that is kind of unique. not many people have that desire, let alone accomplish it. in america at least.

well i still remember those languages. i believe they were japanese, french, german, spanish, and danish. yes. undoubtedly those were it. which one doesn’t belong? lol. danish, i know right? which is why we need to rewind. my love for denmark probably isnt worthy of its own post, but i will leave off here, and pick this up later. i gotta go to school, hun.

xx gossip girl

i hate that my instincts always seem to be at odds with my desires

Sagittarius Eclipse Thoughts

Sagittarius is an important sign for me, because many of my family members, close friends, my ex, and my dog are all sags.

being a cancer sun, we crave comfort and emotional sensitivity. sagittarius is kind of contradictory to this, never being comfortable and always looking to expand. my virgo moon also isn’t very harmonious with this, always wanting things to be organized very neatly and concretely, but not everything can be.

It’s ironic because my only placement is with pluto in the fifth house, but given its aspects to my other planets, and the fact my mom’s a scorpio, I could be considered a plutonic person. Not to mention my sagittarius grandmas moon is in cancer, and i am a cancer sun.

my draconic sun is in sagittarius, and that’s supposedly what your “soul” is. your natal chart is what you are in this lifetime. my draconic moon is in aquarius, and that’s funny because i have an 11th house stellium, which is aquarius’s house. i’ve always liked sags and aquas because i feel so pulled down by my emotions sometimes. im not sure if that’s due to just depression or the fact my sun squares my saturn, which is in the 9th house, the house of sagittarius. my sun is in the 12th house, and honestly i’m learning to love that placement.

i’m writing this post because i can definitely feel the sagittarius energy. last night i felt almost manic, like i NEEDED to move and get out and do something. like it was a strong pull. and that reminds me a lot of my early twenties, how i never can quite stay still. for a cancer, i’m definitely not a homebody! perhaps this is due to my pluto, which is a very energizing planet.

that’s all i have for now, i’m just kind of mapping out my own life and noticing coincidences and patterns through astrology. it’s pretty interesting :)

nadia et moi