Am I Getting A Good Grade In Tumblr Mutual?

sorry man its nothing personal but if i dont kill you my cursed sword will call me a pussy

The best part of Rocky Horror is how quickly Brad and Janet just roll with everything like they barely blink when Frank enters the room in his lingerie getup and Brad doesn't even object to being stripped and when he realizes it's Frank in his bed he's like ehhh well okay meanwhile Janet finally gets laid and from that moment on her only motivation is to get laid a second time. I love them

im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice

girl ur such a vibe can i live inside ur ribcage

i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

Huge dude covered in tattoos, wearing a lab coat: "Hey, kid. First day in evil scientist jail? No problem. First thing you're gonna wanna do is take down the biggest guy in the yard. That's Big Steve. We call him The Mitochondria."

Me: "Because he's the p-"

Guy: "Because he's the powerhouse of the cell, yeah"

[first day as a hostage negotiator]

bank robber: these rich fucks ruined me life! I want ten million dollars and a helicopter

me: bitch me too. I'm switching sides

"my marriage proposal was rejected" my brother in christ you insulted her entire family