Once I Finish Killing This Guy The Cycle Of Violence Will Be Over, Trust Me Guys

im like if there was someone who never knew what was happening or going on

“counterspell” or as i like to call it “Nuh uh”

TIT STEW

deleted too soon. Rip.

nobody ever talks about it but music is sriously good i think

i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

fuck off it's not a collar it's to hide my decapitation scar. my head will literally fall off if you take it off it's not a sex thing. the decapitation was a sex thing though yeah.

you contain multitudes i contain multi dudes *5 guys emerge from my mouth and make you a really overpriced cheeseburger*

me in the not-so-distant future of 2032 taking my beautiful wife out for a walk on a foggy day: damn it's like silent hill up in this bitch! 😂

my wife: fuck you you say that every time it's a little foggy outside. you haven't even played the games. i hate you so much

our clone of former beatles drummer ringo starr who we normally keep locked in our basement but is currently joining us for his allotted 30 minutes of weekly outside time: ringo!

what if you went into a bar and the bartender was a fungus-girl and when she gave you your drink she said “you seem like a really fungi!” only some of her spores broke off in the drink and when they reached your stomach they started growing and spreading and entering your bloodstream and at last one reached your brain stem where it planted itself firmly and then your own body started acting against your will and you hiked and you climbed to a very tall place, far above all the foliage, and at last the fungi burst out of your eyes, sprouting into a thousand different intricate colors, and before long a bird girl showed up and started poking at your flesh and you realize in your last moments that this is what it’s all about, you were always meant to join the chain of life only as a single link in some monstrous fungi’s reproductive cycle—and before you can even scream the bird girl plucks your head off with her beak. and and and what if it were like a sexual thing