Pmeep - Pmeep

sleeping with a knife beside me in bed, not because i’m afraid but because it is like a lover to me

i do genuinely need to go on some sort of quest this year or i’m going to become evil for real

spotify can't shuffle for shit. i shuffle better than you and they laugh me out of card games. pathetic

girls when they get overstimulated in the grocery store

dracula sleeping in his dracula position with hands crossed but he’s holding his boobs

do it scared do it weird do it alone. holy trinity

Did you know Star Fruit grows from vine dreads? Imagine photosynthesizing with your own hair and never having to buy food again.

lucky i wasn’t born with a dick bc i’d get hard from seeing a beautiful body of water

my favorite customer service slip ups

"its a texas chainsaw miracle"