Person Who Wants To Do Stuff Trapped In A Body That Needs To Lie Down

Wounds of the Earth

— by xis.lanyx

Boy, I felt that one

Well I would give a medieval peasant some spaghetti.

Imagine you’re Dracula, enjoying drinking this tasty girl until finally one night you’re like well it’s been fun but she’s pretty much drained I guess it’s time to find another victim and then they just start… filling her back up? I bet he was like holy shit modern medicine is great, what a time to be undead

i disrespect the grind

guy who only heard the phrase gaslighting once and is misremembering it: stop fleshlighting me

Celebrity sighting.

I pull the pin and throw the grenade straight up. Then I throw the pin straight up, and it slides right back into the grenade in midair, disarming it. When the grenade lands, it bonks me in the skull, killing me.

hello my name is Very tiny flying insect i see you’ve got an uncovered beverage outdoors. Can i fall into it and kill myself please please please please please please please please please please