Parental Disappointment Insults

RIGHT new theory  Dabi didn’t actually dye his hair, he just hasn’t washed it in so long that it’s so full of shit that it looks black. and with that it makes as to why he can just dump some water or whatever the fuck was in that bottle and voila white hair.

Steve actually loves science fiction but it’s infinitely funnier to piss Dustin off by repeatedly mispronouncing the names is the characters in Star Wars because, “It’s Skywalker, Steve. Not Stair-Master! And his name is Luke, not Lucas! No one is named Lucas.”

“I think at least one person is.”

“In the movie.”

Dustin has recently discovered Doctor Who and is kinda a dick about explaining it to Steve. He heavily implies that Steve isn’t smart enough for the show like Steve’s mom doesn’t have a friend in England that tapes the new episodes and mails it to them.

Steve could share that information with Dustin but he’s not going to. Instead, when Dustin brings up The Doctor, Steve says, “Woah, Doc Hagan got a tv show?”

“It’s not a show about your dentist, Steve!”

If Steve is trying to round up all the kids and they’re being particularly annoying, he’ll clap his hands together and says, “C’mon, Ghost-bangers.”

The first thing he did after facing the demo-dogs was to memorize the entire D&D monster guide. He could tell Dustin this but D&D seems insufferable to him and it’s going to be way more satisfying when he catches the kid bullshitting an explanation and can call him out.

Robin knows about the stack of HG Wells books shelved in the den and Eddie definitely knows something is up. But Dustin? Nope.

There’s literally a picture on the mantle in the living room of him and his mom dressed as Spock and Nurse Chappell at a Star Trek convention when he was eight. Dustin walks passed it twice a week and has never noticed.

I am far too sleep deprived for this shit  it’s 2 in the morning and my brain randomly said to me “Zoolander just got a husbandry update” do I know what this means no, do I particularly care right now also no, is this phrase now gonna haunt me for the rest of my life wondering what the fuck it means absolutely of fucking course it is

yoooo in Harry Potter imagine how many muggleborns would get fucking rickrolled by their friends using howlers

Logically, I know that when League found out about Billy, he proceeded to act super mature and even manage to be the bigger person. However, if I was ten and a bunch of adults I trusted started yelling at me, I would start crying.

I know darth vader telekinetically choking out a subordinate is supposed to emphasize how he is a scary and cruel and powerful Villain but all I can think is. if I had the power to asphyxiate people with my mind I would spend all of my energy CONSTANTLY resisting the temptation to make people around me shut the fcuk up.

urturis

Warriors: “It’s illegal to be better-looking than me.”

Four: “Well, everyone, it looks like we’re all going to jail.”

Jason and Tim: *literally the most traumatic experience known to man, one that changes how anyone would look at them (e.g. Jason digging himself out of his own grave or Tim blowing up the leagues bases)*

Dick *absolutely mortified*: and you didn't tell me earlier because...?

Jason/Tim: idk, it never came up.

Dick: that's something you bring up!