Latest Posts by rabbit-with-a-grapefruit-spoon - Page 6

Shazam: I’m literally neurodivergent and a minor-

Shazam:

Shazam: -ority. neurodivergent and a minority.

Someone, curious: what minority are you?

Shazam: ….lightning person.

Not a lot of people really utilize the fact that the gods of the ancient world were super messed up, did jacked up stuff to people for minor inconveniences, and legit did horrific things for the lols and billy being a child is probably just as likely to do weird things to people with his magic if he feels justified in their Billy head canons: let’s change that

Someone on Twitter @s the justice league official account in their rage tweet and Shazam/Marvel has volunteered to run the account for a few days while the league’s usual guy is out. It seems like a great idea at the time, he’s well known as super friendly guy and even though he’s pretty immature at times he always seems to be the best at deescalating hostile situations with the guidance of what he calls ‘the wisdom of Solomon’.

For a good while Marvel tried to reason with them, giving evidence to the contrary for every accusation, defending his fellow league members, and owning up to his own mistakes and promises that while the league does the best they can, they aren’t perfect. None of it is good enough for them though, they argue in circles for hours.

Finally he just says, “sir, your home will be a beacon for hoards of snakes, the harvest you wish to reap will be drowned by the rain you prayed for, your milk will curdle in your mouth, and your rage will only burn yourself with every poisoned word”

And not even an hour later that person tweets that a long term work project has just been ruined for this or that reason, their coffee is rancid because they didn’t check the date on the creamer when they bought it, posts photos of at least 12 snakes writhing in their bathtub, oh and they’ve been called out for being a jerk by everyone keeping up with the thread.

Marvel/Shazam is never allowed on the Justice League Twitter again.

Question number 1: does captain marvel have finger prints?

Question 2: if yes, are they the same as Billy’s?

Now imagine the jl runs a background check on their newest member captain marvel and what comes back is a match for a 12 year old run away from the foster system with chargers of minor theft and trespassing

Ghost Speak

Danny & Billy both talking in ghost speak about how Vlad is an asshole while having pure direct eye contact towards some of the justice leagues

Hal: *looking at Clark* uh… h-hey supes do you have any idea what they saying???

Clark: *looks just as confused and a bit terrified* I … uh have no idea

Diana: hmm I’m sure it’s fine

I think one of DC's biggest mistakes is the fact that Billy Batson, Jon Kent, and Damian Wayne aren't an established trio

I refuse to believe these three didn't meet each other and immediately agree to start causing problems on purpose

Damian's an ex assassin, son of Batman, and the heir to the biggest crime ring in the world, who hates himself, but also believes he's the best person alive

Jon is Superman's son, and has somehow managed to convince everyone he's a Good Boy™ when his best friend is Ra's al Ghul's grandson

And Billy's a teenage boy who has/is tricking the Justice League into letting him stay on their team because he can make himself look like an Adult Man™

These three should be committing felonies together DC

Billy: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the League. Batman asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.

Freddy: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Eugene and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you

Billy: Haha. I mean, Wonder Woman kinda seems like she wants to? She pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-

Freddy: Backtrack. Backtrack. Wonder Woman. Wants to adopt you.

Billy: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-

Freddy: WONDER WOMAN. WANTS TO ADOPT US.

Billy: I don't see how this relates to you but-

Freddy, writing in the Shazam Fam GC: everybody buckle up new mom just dropped

-

Diana, proudly showing off pictures of her newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Mary. My beloved Eugene. My beloved darling Darla, and my beloved Pedro, and my beloved Freddy, and my beloved Billy. They enjoy video games and snacks

Bruce, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out the Batfamily Batalbum: This is Jason. His favorite hobby is murder

after he meets the JL ane becomes their ally, Danny pops down to Fawcett City to give Captain Marvel a presentation titled "Teen Heros Pretending To Be Immortal Ancient Beings Stick Together" subtitled "why you should lie to the JL and say you've known me for hundreds of years".

Billy takes one look at it and is immediately like "yes"

Who’s Old Now? by @lirabuswavi​ (um i hope i tagged the right person, cause like im 80% sure you are same ao3 lirabuswavi, if not im sorry <;D)

ok this one-shot literally opened my eyes to sheer chaos possibility of Adult!Fenton adopting kid Billy B. while Teenager!Phantom being mistaken as Shazam’s ward and just ladskjsdk??? superhero/magic/ghost community would not be prepared. amazing fic. such fun.

and some doodles inspired by the fic

let lil Billy have retired ghost superhero possibly eldritch overpowered being Phantom as protective Dad.

When Billy’s mad at Batman he fills out justice league reports in dead languages

He’s just a little guy in a big body

Shazam, a supposedly magic immortal being of unknown origin: kinda pops off ngl

Batman, a father of 6: (narrows eyes in suspicion) yes…indeed it does..

not to minimize the gravity of war, but i need more people to know about:

Bicycle Warfare

bicycles have several advantages over horses & fuel-powered vehicles, with the result that bicycle infantry has in fact played a significant role in 20th century warfare...

it turns out that warfare sometimes involves battalions of bicycle-riding soldiers. (and while i personally am sick of war films, I'm willing to make an exception here because there really needs to be a movie about this.)

Big bat does not let his Robin being friend with Kid Flash

But we know how it will end

Reference:

If someone made it before me I'm sorry pls don't kill me!!!!

bad trick

“Link, I heard a girl’s voice call out to me when I fell. It felt oddly familiar..” “…”

:3

finally finished illustrating this post!

THIS SHOULD NOT BE AS ACCURATE AS IT ISSSSS

I’ve just come to the abrupt realization that every time I hear the word “blorbo” the mental image I get is that of a ChuChu

Help

It’s a little windy today

Based off this

;D

naked and afraid

inspired by this:

RIGHT new theory  Dabi didn’t actually dye his hair, he just hasn’t washed it in so long that it’s so full of shit that it looks black. and with that it makes as to why he can just dump some water or whatever the fuck was in that bottle and voila white hair.

I am far too sleep deprived for this shit  it’s 2 in the morning and my brain randomly said to me “Zoolander just got a husbandry update” do I know what this means no, do I particularly care right now also no, is this phrase now gonna haunt me for the rest of my life wondering what the fuck it means absolutely of fucking course it is

*shakes fictional character* where is the rest of your information I want to know more about you

this is *sniff* truly beautiful

hit the tumblr image limit but you can find the full presentation here 

enjoy!!

listen to this while you read it for the full experience

broke: time is in charge because he’s the oldest

woke: warriors is in charge because he’s actually used to leading a group of people with varying skills and abilities and strategizing to take down a larger force

bespoke: wind is in charge because if anyone tries to challenge his authority he uses the wind waker to make it so that every time they all sit around a campfire together, the smoke always blows straight into the face of whoever has tried to disrespect him. nobody has challenged him since.