Latest Posts by scubagal015 - Page 5

Gordon: What happens when you die?

Virgil: You go to heaven.

Gordon: No, I mean - when you die, do I get your stuff?

Fischler: I’m quick at math.

Brains: Okay, what’s 38 times 76?

Fischler: 24.

Brains : T-that’s not even close.

Fischler: But it was quick.

John: I’m such an idiot.

EOS:

John:

EOS:

John:..You’re supposed to disagree.

EOS: Oh-

Alan: Can I go on this mission?

Virgil: What did Scott say?

Alan: No.

Virgil: Then why would I let you?

Alan: He’s not the boss of you.

Virgil: [internally] It’s a trap.

Alan: *hacker voice* I’m in

Gordon: I don’t think you’re supposed to say ‘hacker voice’

Grandma: Wow, this lamb is good!

Kayo: I’m a vegetarian, I wish I could turn of the moral voice in my head that tells me eating lamb is murder but I guess I’m just not strong enough

Grandma: That’s cos you need protein

Penelope: I wonder if it’s possible to cry underwater

Gordon: Oh, it is

Penelope: How do you know?

Gordon: just trust me on this one

Kayo: Anyone under 5'9 can’t talk about fighting, like, what are you going to do? Headbutt me in the nipples?

Penelope: Say goodbye to your kneecaps, arsehole

“ I often give myself little rewards. Some call it stealing ”

- The Hood

Scott: Are you okay?

Virgil: Yes… why?

Scott: Because you asked the clerk at the store earlier if damage repair shampoo also works on emotions.

John: International Rescue, how can we assist you?

John: What do you mean you’re being murdered?

John: But it’s illegal! people can’t do that!

Alan *reading a fortune cookie*: ‘If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world remain the same’

Kayo *mouth full of takeout*: Kill two

Virgil: It’s ok Alan, everyone’s afraid of something

Alan: Even you, Virgil?

Virgil *chuckling*: No

John: We need wifi

Scott: Okay let’s not get carried away, we NEED oxygen

John: We HAVE oxygen, we NEED wifi

Alan: What the heck, people actually tell their crushes they like them?

Gordon: What the hell do you do?

Alan: I die, What kind of question-

‘Look, I hate to be the wet blanket here, but since John is busy, I guess it’s up to me’

- Gordon

~TOS~

Jeff: What do you want for your birthday?

John: I think… I think what I really want is to be told I’m a valued and important member of this team

Jeff: Oh well, we got you something else

“ When do any of our plans actually work? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose”

- Virgil

Alan: Gordon is an oven

Scott: Explain

Alan: Roasts me

Virgil: So what time does the Judgemental Express arrive?

Scott: John gets here at noon

Grandma: Swear words are illegal now, you say one, you’re going to jail

Gordon: Heck

Grandma: You’re on thin fucking ice

Grandma: Oh no

Scott: Come on everybody, group hug! You too Johnny

John: Don’t touch me

Alan: The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year!

Grandma:

Alan:

Grandma:

Alan: I will also be lighting this candle in memory of Mom and Dad

Scott: Damn, the power went out

Alan: Don’t worry Scotty, I got this *begins to shake stomach violently until it lights up*

Scott: What the hell?

Alan: I swallowed a flashlight

Scott *On the verge of cardiac arrest*: WHY WOULD YOU-

Gordon: Virgil told me Santa Claus isn’t real

Gordon, smug: Well I’m at the mall right now and guess whose here?

Grandma: I really regret getting you that blender for Christmas

John *sipping a bagel*: Why?

Penny: Hello people who do not live here, I gave you that key for emergencies.

Virgil: We were out of Earl Grey

Brains: Q-quick, to the panic room!

Virgil: The villa doesn’t have a panic room

Brains: Any room is a panic room if you p-panic enough!

Scott: Did you see this Gordon thing???

Virgil: I’m aware of it. I’ve had a google alert for the phrase ‘Gordon Tracy impulsive disaster’ for quite some time now

Kayo: Where’s my fucking bike helmet?

Scott: Kay, Alan is here, can you try that a bit nicer?

Kayo: May I ascertain the wherebouts of my fucking bike helmet?