Latest Posts by scubagal015 - Page 6

Scott: Alan, I know you snuck out last night

Alan, internally: Act dumb

Alan: Whose Alan?

Alan, internally: Not that dumb!

John: I’m 80% exhaustion, 10% sarcasm, and 20% percent don’t care

Scott:… That’s 110%

John: 20% of me doesn’t care

Alan: So Virg…you’re music recently…

Virgil : So sue me, it’s January in Kansas, I’d like to live on island time for a day!

Alan: You- I have spotify open on my laptop right now, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? ‘Cos I got your history right here in the sidebar

Alan: Take It Back by Jimmy Buffett

Alan: Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffett

Alan: Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffett

Alan: Treat Her Like A Lady by Jimmy Buffett

Alan: Manana by JAMES BUFFETT

Alan: Havana Daydreaming by Jimmy Buffett

Scott: Wow

Alan: What the FUCK happened to you?

Virgil: I had a case of the Mondays!

Alan: Are you HAUNTED? Are you POSSESSED?

Scott *shaking his head sadly*: You used to be my brother

Scott *to Alan and Gordon*: You guys are idiots, you know that?

Gordon: In our defence, we do know that

Gordon: When I first started out swimming I had, like, no idea about how proper nutrition worked. I would just eat three of those personal pan pizzas a day.

Alan: Athlete fuel!

Gordon: Because here’s how I thought about nutrition, I was like ‘Oh, it’s the exact same size as my stomach’

Kayo: There’s a hole, it fills a hole, it’s done

Alan: you turned those little pizzas into Olympic gold medals!

Judge: You are charged with jaywalking, how do you plead

John *leaning into the microphone *: I’ll take the death penalty

Judge: Wait, that’s not-

Alan: [climbs through the window at 2am]

Scott, flicking on the light and spinning round in his chair: So, where were you?

Alan: I-I was with Gordon!

Gordon, spinning around in his own chair: Want to try again?

John, to the Hood: 9 planets, 7 oceans, 7 continents, 809 Islands, 204 countries, and I have the unfortunate luck of meeting you

The Hood:….

The Hood: There’s only eight planets

John: VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU!

Gordon: There’s a message in my Alphabet Spaghetti! It says ‘oooooooo’

Virgil:….

Virgil: Gordon, those are cheerios

Alan: Do you think the aliens will be mad when they arrive and they find out we’ve been having the Miss Universe tournament without them for years?

John: I think a better question is: what are you doing in my room at 3AM?

Gordon: Do you guys think I can fit 15 marshmallows into my mouth?

Scott: You’re a hazard to society

Virgil: And a coward. Do 20

Kayo: What you need to remember is to love yourself

Alan: Don’t you hate yourself?

Kayo: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused

John: It’s crazy how we’re so close we finish each other’s…

Scott: Paperwork?

John:….

Scott, tearfully sliding paperwork across the table: please

Parker: I’d never say this to Master Gordon’s face, but he’s wonderful and a really kind person

Penelope: Why -why wouldn’t you say that to his face??

The Hood, tied up: And what do you think you’ll do to me now?

Kayo, sharpening a knife: We have ways of getting people to talk

Kayo: *takes out a cake and cuts slice*

The Hood:… can I have some?

Kayo: Cake is for talkers

John: If you took a shot for every bad decision you’ve made, how drunk would you be?

Virgil: Maybe a little tipsy

Scott: Drunk

Alan: Wasted

Gordon: Dead

Parker: I’ve got good news and bad news mi'lady

Penelope: Good news first

Parker: The airbags in FAB1 work perfectly

“ Alan, when I die make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Scott”

- Gordon

“ People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s already shouting ‘What the fuck, that’s illegal!’ or 'You can’t do that!’ Let me speak!! ”

- The Hood

Police officer : Sir, you’re under arrest for trying to fit four people on a hover bike

Virgil: Four?

John: Wait

Gordon: Fuck!

Police: Sir?

Alan: GUYS, SCOTT FELL OFF THE BACK!

Jeff: What did I tell you about underage drinking?

Scott: You said as long as I bring back enough for you too you don’t care what I do

John: I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out Really Mean: a five part documentary starring me

Scott: I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Came Off As Creepy And Overstepping Boundaries: a novel with two tv adaptations and a movie

Gordon: I Was Trying To Show You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side books and a stage play

*visiting one of the bros in the med bay*

Brains: This r-really takes me back, I loved playing doctor as a child

*flashback of 8 year old Brains holding a stethoscope to a Teddy Bear*

Brains: The cancer has spread, get your house in order

“ I’m gonna kill you with the power of friendship and this gun I just found ”

- Alan Tracy, to The Hood

Alan: Hey, can you pass the salt?

Scott: Can you pass your classes?

Alan:… That’s too much salt

Waiter: So what can I get you both?

Kayo: A milkshake with two straws please

Virgil: Aw Kay, that’s so cu-

Kayo *putting both straws in her mouth: watch how fucking fast I can drink this

Scott: It costs $500 to see a therapist, it costs $0 to tell myself it be like that sometimes

John, softly: No

Conrad: You’re no hamburger helper, you’re a hamburger hindrance

Alan: If you’re not part of the hamburger solution you’re part of the hamburger problem

Brandon: You’re a hamburden on society

“ If there is ever a moment I even imply that I know what I’m doing shoot me, it’s an imposter ”

- Alan Tracy

Colonel Casey: You have the right to remain silent

Gordon: I have the right but not the ability