Im Sorry I Said Short People Dni . . . I Was Just Jealous Of Your Superior Scuttling Ability

and i oop-

happy no but seriously imagine it eve everyone!!!!

accidentally activated my ok google somehow while I was throwing socks at the ferret to get her to attack them

Buses are very tolerant of humans and not skittish at all. Trains are much less tolerant and they get scared easily ... Trains hate when their way of life /schedule is disturbed. Even a small deviation will be very stressful for a train. While buses are used to it. They have to deal with cars every day so their tolerance is very high. Buses are like large herbivores. You can't push them over or make them do something they don't like. You may train it but they still go their own way most of the time. Very independent. While a train doesn't know what to do when it sees a plastic bag on the tracks

me once i get top surgery

look I'm a lesbian but I 100% agree men need to dress sluttier and you know I'm being selfless bc I get nothing out of this. dress sluttier it's good for you

Smooth jazz is kinda funny

one thing to miss about porn on tumblr is how ridiculous people acted like. there was this one catfish on here who would steal other people’s dick pics and pretend they were all him. he’d post circumcised one day and uncut the next like… sir.

This took me too fucking long. Anyway, like to charge reblog to cast

i remember vividly one time in elementary school i went to my friends house and his little brother was playing club penguin and my friend was like “hey bro let me show you this cool trick to unlock a new outfit for your penguin” and he reached over to his little brothers keyboard and just typed ‘fuck’ in the chat and his account got banned instantly

r/stupiddovenests features so many mourning doves which is insane to me i didnt know they were so bad at this. always thought the bad nests was a feral pigeon thing