No I Dont WANT To Be Skinny, I NEED To Be Skinny.

chat i gained 5kg in the last 2 months since i havent been able to r3str1ct properly BUT WE ON THAT R3STR1CT GRIND NOW 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

one of my life goals is to have my dream body by the age of 18

I hate what I've done to my body.

Post-puberty, I've developed a really nice hourglass body type.

But that's under the layers of fat.

My hips and ass seem small compared to this belt of fucking flab

My stomach is bigger than my tits.

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to stop fucking eating.

I could've been so hot by now.

it’s always awkward when people speak to me about 3ds not knowing i am head under the water drowning in one HAHAHA

suffering in silence >>>>

things i do when hungry . 🍓 distractions, etc

• stare at spo until im too disgusted w/myself to eat

• stand in front of a mirror and pinch/look at every flawed spot

• wear tight clothes on purpose so i feel every inch of my body

• count the calories in my binge before it happens

• chew and spit

• eat in front of a mirror

• write down everything i wanted to eat, then cross each item out

• watch food content (mukbangs, recipes) while drinking LOADS of water

• if im hungry, i take a shower, brush my teeth, look at spo and see if im still hungry

• sleep, i cant eat if im not awake

• count bones in the mirror. If i can’t see them, i don’t need food

• google the weight of celebrities my height

• draw tally marks for every time i say no to food

• make a ed playlist

yes! i’m spiraling deeper! for some reason it makes me think that by getting worse i will magically get better ???? i’m stupid

the anorexic urge to stare at every skinny person that walks by

I DON’T WANT LOOK LIKE A CLEAN GIRL I WANNA WANT LIKE A CORPSE!! I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A SICKLY VAMPIRE. I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A 90S ROCK STAR WITH MASCARA RUNNING DOWN MY FACE! I LOVE LOOKING HALF DEAD AND ROTTED.

to sit on people's laps without crushing them

to be picked up when i hug people

so i'm so skinny the doctors don't think my weight loss is good anymore

so people don't use me as a pillow

to climb trees again

to worry people

to wear tank tops without hating myself

to feel clean and in control

to be carried easily

to share clothes and actually fit in others clothes

to see my bones

to be skinny like i was when i was a kid

to actually do something right for once

Thinspo that I like