Forgive Yourself For Making The Wrong Choice During A Tough Time

You CANNOT lose a month's progress in an hour. If you fall back or you do something you're not proud of, that does not undo all your hard work.

You've formed habits, you've made changes, and one mistake will not erase that.

Beating yourself up for falling back into old habits won't undo anything. All you can do is continue forward toward your goal.

Remind yourself of everything you did that you were proud of. Remember the progress you made. Acknowledge your power.

Please don't punish yourself for that moment when you lost control. You weren't weak, you aren't a failure, and everything you worked for is not ruined.

how to not be a perfectionist by Molly Brodak

Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

Schuyler Peck, Worth the Wait

Something my friend and I were talking about that I think is important is what can happen sometimes when abuse stops.

For my friend, she expressed that her mental health got worse when the abuse stopped. And we talk about that because for a lot of survivors, it’s what happens when we’re feel we’re safe now and our brains begin to process the trauma. But there can be other reasons, too. And for her, it was because she suddenly didn’t feel important anymore. Because while the cruelty sucked, it made her feel she mattered. After it was done, the person was indifferent to her and it felt worse to her.

And I asked her if it was okay if I talked about this because it isn’t something I’d thought of before and I imagine there’s a lot of people who could benefit from me sharing her experience so you know you aren’t alone.

If that’s how you feel, your feelings are valid. And it doesn’t mean you deserved the abuse. It’s okay if your feelings are complicated. You aren’t alone and you are still worthy. Always.

You will not stay stuck in the same patterns forever. You are capable of change. It might be small and you may not be able to see the change day to day, but over time things will get better.

I did the best I could with the amount of time, energy, and knowledge I had in the moment. I am a part of nature; like crashing waves or seasonal fruit trees, I will not be perfectly consistent. I am not failing or falling behind, it makes sense why it didn’t work out. I didn’t have the resources or people that I needed to complete that thing successfully. I will find them. It is everyone’s first time living and we are all learning how to navigate it together. I forgive it all.

Maturity is not seeking revenge. It's healing and moving on, so you don’t become like the people who traumatized you.