Whether you feel like you've missed the chapter or the whole manual, keep doing you. Those people don't know the things you may think they know. And you're much better off being on your current path. At least you're getting to know you for who you are.
Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
"why should I get invested in shows if they'll just get canceled" I was deeply invested in Heroes (2006) and it was not canceled, it just got really terrible. I also got really invested in the sandwich I had a few weeks ago despite it only lasting like 15 minutes. You must embrace the ephemeral. You must be willing to love things that may not love you back, that might betray you, or that may die an untimely death. As the great philosopher Mr. Mitchell Lee Hedberg said "I'm not gonna stop doing something because of what happens at the end."
"meld"
<3
it’s like insane that an ancient writer knew the words i needed to hear a thousand years on and could see me through all that time but also. it’s not surprising in the least bc they felt as i felt and they sang as i sang and they did everything i’ve ever done there is no state of being which they have not already passed i am nothing new i am not alone and that is a great joy to know
It’s been a long week and an even longer day.
The grief is forever. I’m thankful he is no longer suffering.
I think one of the kindest things you can do for people with various mental health struggles is just... let people back into your life after they've been absent for a while.
Making friends as an adult is so fucking hard already and isolating yourself from other people is a very common symptom of depression, anxiety, burnout, ocd, trauma, grief, etc. Which means that someone will do the hard work of recovery/healing and resurface back into a world where their previous friends have written them off because they stopped showing up.
So if you know someone where you're like "yeah we could have been better friends but they fell off the map a bit" and that person suddenly reaches out, or starts showing up to events even though you kind of forgot they were still in the group chat... well they may have been Going Through It and you don't actually have to punish them for their absence you can just be glad that they're back.
It doesn't matter if you hadn't done the things you were supposed to do. It doesn't matter that if you finished 1 thing out of 4 things. You don't have 3 more things to do, you have 1 less thing to complete.
It doesn't matter if you had relapsed after a day or 3 of productivity and healing into a spiral again. What matters is that you get back up and start again. Because now you're a bit stronger and more resilient than before.
It doesn't matter if all you did today was getting out of bed, eat and change your clothes while you did nothing else. Appreciate yourself and give yourself the credit you deserve for doing those small things.
It doesn't matter if the only thing you did today was to focus on existing and on yourself alone. Be proud of surviving till the end of the day because you made it through knowing that there was a possibility of you not making it.
Progress is still progress. It doesn't matter if you take small or big steps. You're taking a step and that's all that matters.
I am going to see my dad today. He is still on the ventilator and probably will be for the next few days.
I am not ready to lose a parent.
I have hope that the hospital he’s at now can fix this. But I am still scared and overwhelmed.