Wholeness

Questions

I hate this life

This life

Of other people trying

Trying to know everything about me

I don’t just get interrogated once, but twice too many times

I cant handle all these questions, questions, QUESTIONS!

That echo too loudly in my brain

Because I know that they will get analyzed,

In every way possible

Along with

All of my actions

I brought this upon myself

By answer one or two questions

Can you just let me

Make my own decisions and choices

Without having to be a part of it

I'm an adult now and yet

You still treat me like a baby,

That has no knowledge at all

And because of you I can't concentrate

On success

And that’s why you're being so difficult with me

Because you don’t want me to turn out

Like you

But you're making success harder

Than it really needs to be

And your sweet voice

Doesn’t help

It doesn’t make anything better

And you can't persuade me with it

Looking Back

Looking back I realize that

With the great irony

They were exactly what they warned us about

I made it out

By hiding my emotion

So no one had any idea what I was actually thinking

The last time

Tasted unusual

Playing like a surreal movie in my head

Walking into the arms

Of the people

They told me rumors about and yet I'm now doing better than I ever have

I'm here

Knocking down the walls

That held in so many peoples stories that I had no idea about

The hard look

I got with my degree

Made me want to scream but, man, too bad we never did

Are You On My Team?

I'm not great at playing offense

Let's get that out of the way

But it's nice to meet you

I don't hit home runs

But I know how to throw

Like an underdog

I am defensive when I'm not talking

It's the thing I can do

It's really just the illusion of control

Being offensive

Is a thing that I can't really seem to be able to do

I'm too nice

So I don't set boundaries

Or go around punching people in the face

Because some people probably deserve it

I'm more of a pitcher

Of complaints

Rather than a batter

So

Before you go I must ask,

Are you on my team?

Love Lyrics To A Finite Song

I miss you

But I have to study for midterms

I can't wait for this summer

You love my “burns”

Now I believe that you are true

I want to be with you

I'm in my messy room

It's my lazy Saturday

I need the warm for the fresh fruits to bloom

It feels like a dream that I'm with you

I want to be physically with you

We might not be seeing each other much

You want to party

Your hand, for you, I will touch

I want to hug you

More than cute wound never describe you

Now I am comfortable with you on my mind

We are very similar

I'm letting myself slowly go blind

I'm falling for you

I'm surprised I went back for you

I can smell you on my sweatshirt

You drive me crazy

In our pasts we've both have been hurt

Why am I still writing about you?

My head still decides to never stop thinking about you

Love lyrics to a finite song

Someday all of this might haunt me

I hope this lasts long

Me and you

Fake Friends

Why are you whispering behind my back?

Intelligence is what you lack

Are you too scared of me?

Baby?

Why are you doing this to me?

Why can’t you just let me be?

Where did you go?

You should know

Our friendship was growing strong

What you are doing is wrong

No one gives a shit

Go die in a pit

What happened to you?

You are now making me extremely blue

What did I do to you?

To make you go

So now you have made me go this low

I hope you’re happy now

Your ego is getting to be as fat as a cow

You should be nice to others as your way to the top because they are the ones you’ll see on your way down

I hope you bought a nice gown

You're the one who's going to need it most

At least I don’t boast

Unlike you

I'm going to start new

Without you

It's Working

Head spinning

Head winning

Heart cruising

Heart losing

Brain barely working

Brain thoughts lurking

Feet walking

Feet stalking

Knees yell

Knees swell

Shoulders weak

Shoulders seek

Forehead sweat

Better yet

Befuddled

Everything is muddled

Hands shake

Fingers break

I'm so dependent

I sure am happy I sent it

You make me loose

I am a really silly goose!

When you disappear I miss you

I don't have a clue

I trust this one

Half the battle with you has been won

How and why is what I ask

What if you are wearing a mask?

I'm stuck with a bad case of the what if's

Those two words leave me hanging off cliffs

I will let you slither into my shoe, you already know it's a slipper

You understand fart rippers

Head no longer twirling

Heart won, happily whirling

I Want To Go Home

Trapped in my room that is myself,

Due to avoidance

Of

Feeling like and impostor in the house I live in

I know that I don’t belong

But I have nowhere else to go

I want to go home

But home is nothing more than a concept,

That I imagine in only my dreams

It’s hard to go home

When,

I haven’t discovered where home is

This is why I want to travel the world

When I'm out of school

And when I have enough money

I want to find a home

In someone's arms

Or I could find a home in my life

There is more than one way home

There are plenty of different roads

That will lead to destiny

So I'm going to keep calling everything home

Until it feels right

And only then I shall settle down

So take my bloated belly home

Because this house isn't working with the people living in it

Let's go home

The Movies

The four of us at the movies

Boys free of cooties

Juan and I hand in hand

Zach could barely stand

The normally depressed ones were happy

It may have been that, that afternoon was oddly sappy

After my reflection

I felt a strong connection

I hope we will have many more double dates

Between us, no hate

What will rip us apart, college?

The need for knowledge?

If that tragedy does happen, the girls that didn't get kissed

Will be missed

I love how we were the only ones there

At the moment if all the evil in the world attacked us, we wouldn't have cared

We didn't want the night to end

We were our own trend

All of us never wanted to leave

We knew the second we left we would have to grieve

There was so much love that night

Nothing has ever felt so right

These two girls sometimes pretend that there are cooties

Just so they can spend another night at the movies

Was It?

Was it the bread

That got to your head?

Or was it the butter

That made you stutter?

Maybe you think it was the salt

That made it your fault

I know that the berries

Didn't make you marry

But what was your deal

With the oatmeal?

Was the grapefruit too tart?

Maybe it’s why you had to fart

You gave a nickel

For a fried pickle

Maybe the pie

Was the reason that it felt like you were going to die

I mean the honey

Did seem to taste a little funny

Did the steak

Give you a stomach ache?

Was it the chicken soup

That made you have to go poop?

Or was it the icing on the cake

That made your stomach break?

Teach Her Of Hope

Teacher of hope

You were dope

I need to remember you

Teach her of hope

You once opened a freshman’s locker without a nope

A long haired girl with blurry eyes, and a bright green backpack

Teach her of hope

She’s going to need it to cope

She has a famous blue sweatshirt

Teach her of hope

She knows now to hold on proudly, to the soap

I really hope you're right

Teach her of hope

That way all over she wont mope

You netter be right, I'm broke banking on it

Teach her of hope

Get yourself in her heavy cantaloupe

She thinks you’re wrong, that she’s a successor

Teach her of hope

Lead her towards the rope

Just don’t let that girl forget, what can be forgotten