Im Okay I Can Read This Without Getting Angry

Can you be trusted with arcane secrets that would drive normal people mad?

Take me to dinner first

I have no context for this but at the same time it completely makes sense

WE NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE

mom i can’t go to school today it’s a national holiday

do u have a favourite/least favorite god? :)

YOU WANT ME TO PICK? I don’t really have any least favorites I don’t think actually. At the most, I’m neutral towards them or don’t know enough to form an opinion. My favorite depends which stars are in position and the blood type of the vultures that sit on my house

Random Aztec mythos headcanons because why not

• The moon (Tecciztecatl) controls the tides because the Tlaloques begged Acuecueyotl/Chalchiuhtlicue to give him a job so that he wouldn’t feel useless. Also because they wanted their “brother” to stay in Tlalocan.

• Xolotl could absolutely devour a chicken salad BLT. I have no evidence for this. He just seems like a BLT guy.

• Tezcatlipoca drops into the animal baby voice when he thinks no one is around.

• Nanahuatzin is undiagnosed autistic because he kinda reminds me of lil undiagnosed me when I didn’t understand why I never really fit in :(

• Quetzalcoatl created Olms (olm pic for reference) and Xolotl hated them so much for copying his style that he put them all in Europe.

• Tonatiuh and Huitzilopochtli flip a coin on who wants to drive the sun that day

• Tecciztecatl is just the dad and dog meme with the moon rabbit

This brings me pain. You’ve pained me.

happy april fools day gang

a while ago i somehow fooled someone by this stupid ass wikipedia edit

>be me

>tlaloc, god of rain, sun of the third (current) world

>married to xochiquetzal, a goddess of sexuality and all that

>wife seems bothered by all my time as sun rather than at home

>she says its nothing when i ask

>turns out she's cheating on me with tezcatlipoca

>tezcatlipoca invents texting several worlds early to message me about how his ''🅱️arbed 🅱️enis' gets all the 'xochiqussy' now

>spite drought.jpeg

>people keep begging me for rain despite being too depressed for it

>rain of fire.jpeg

>world fucking ends and we need a new sun for the next one

>find new wife who won't cheat on me with tezcatlipoca and is sun of next world

>our daughter comes home one day with her new boyfriend

>it's tezcatlipoca

Weird lil comic I made based off a real experience I had while my eldest sister drove me somewhere (Quetzalcoatl’s name replaces my other older sister)

“What were you holding? Why did it shine?

Did I glow like the moon when impaled by the pines?

You think that you've killed me, but watch my chest rise

How am I breathing if I've already died?”

(Warning for slight gore under the cut)

“You’ve been playing with the magic that is black.”

“But all of those powerful magical mysteries never gave a single thing back.”