Latest Posts by thewillywonka - Page 2

Goodnight world.

That's great! ☺️

🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫🎩🍫

But why not just follow us? I want to be followed dammit -pouts- >:3

Because if I follow you now then I run the risk of not liking you later, for whatever reason. And if I decide that I don't care for you later then I'll have to unfollow you. The much easier fix is to just not follow at all.

And don't worry, it's not just you or anything I have against you. I just don't follow anyone back cause people aren't my thing.

You gotta teach me your petty ways so I can have sassy and mean clapbacks ready like you do, cuz from what i seen you win fights with ease 💀

Of course! It's all about sarcasm, delivery and wordplay. But this isn't something that everybody can do, see you gotta have the sass and be able to execute it perfectly. ☝️

Please don't die, I can't afford to bring you back.

Yo haircut stuuuuuupid af what did you think when getting your hair cut with a fckn booooowl

First of all, my haircut isn't stupid, yours is. Matter of fact it's probably dry, basic and straight with split ends, no style, volume or curl. Just dreadful and more lifeless than a dead rose. 😌

I'm weak because it's like I read your reblogs or answers and you're mean but you're nice at the same time 😂

I'm not mean, and if I am mean to anyone then it's probably because they said something to me first to deserve the mean response or reaction they received. Simple. Hmph.

Oh...

Well then.

Ur thicker than a bowl of oatmeal 💚💚💚

I have no idea what that means, and I hate oatmeal. I'll take it as a compliment, though! Thank you! ☺️

Is it true that vanilla comes from Beaver butt cheeks??

Yes, but not exactly. It's extracted from the glands, called castor sacs, of beavers' butts. Somewhere between their pelvis and tail. Disgusting, yes. Tasty, yes!

Follow me back? 😘

Uh, no. I don't do follow backsies. Or favors. My follow list is very small, five people to be exact. Yeah. This goes back to the "I don't like people or socializing" thing. Besides, I don't follow, I lead.

And I'm just here to talk about the 🍫 🏭.

Yeah, not interested! ☝️😁

Mr. Wonka. I know you're busy baking with Miss Cocoa, but Alice still wants to come to the barbeque at your factory the weekend, she insists you unban her immediately and talk to her directly. There's just nothing I can do to convince her otherwise. I'm sorry

Dad, please. Not now.

Caramel they say? Is it true?

I've heard I smell like everything from caramel to peanuts and sugar. Who knows? It changes every time, depending on the person.

Who was the most annoying kid on the tour?

A certain incoherent mumbler who says he doesn't like chocolate but came to my chocolate factory anyhow.

Hahahahahaha!

I love how you rejected Mrs beareguarde before the boat ride and didn't sit by her but then after that you was just all up in her personal space and sneaking up on her and shit 😂😂😂😂😂

Was I invading her personal space any more than she had already mine? I didn't notice. Her advance prior was intentional, though. My being in her space was just coincidental and situational. Because her daughter was a gigantic blueberry and that probably needed to be talked about.

It must've taken you a lot of internal restraint to not slap the shit outta mike all those times he insulted you and your candy and you stayed calm or ignored him (the few times you didn't respond to him)

Mumbler didn't faze me a bit. He was just really annoying and not very smart. Ha!

Those kids were so mean and rude to you on that tour I bet you had a headache that morning. And this is why you hate kids I bet 😂

Thank you for realizing that I was the victim and not them. People kill me with that "you tried to hurt the kids" stuff. It's so dramatic. Ugh.

If you could meet your younger self, what would you tell them?

Eat all the candy in the world to your heart's content, ha ha!

Wait, I already did that...

Okay lemme guess most of your bathrobes are some shade of red or purple?

Most of them are violet, black, burgundy, deep blue or lavender. So yeah, you were pretty much in the ballpark.

Why does people flirting with you make you neverous and uncomfortable?

You know ur attractive af right?

Because I dislike receiving vain, individual attention in a way that is sexualizing or subtly implied innuendos.

And I'm not really into all that lovey-dovey stuff as I rarely trust or like people.

It just doesn't appeal to me.

Idk if it was you but I fr saw you walking down the street to a sweets shop with a kid and you passed me and you smelled like caramel and hazelnut or something idk how to describe it your scent blew in the wind and it smelled very sweet like dessert that's all 😂😂😂

I believe that could have been me, Charlie and I were headed to a new local candy store to scope out the candy and to have a word with the owner about selling my candy there as a strategic move - good for business.

You strike me as the guy who casually wears bathrobes in the morning and on wellness sundays.

Oh yes, I have many bath and night robes made from the finest satin and silk. And velvet. If you gotta work hard you might as well be comfortable while doing it!

I just ordered a few more this week.

I wanna kiss those sexy pink sugary lips of urs

Aheh....I...

Moving along.

I just went all the way down to find your handwriting and thats some pretty letters you have there

It wasn't my best, a bit sloppy honestly, but I appreciate it! ☺️

LET US SEE YOUR HANDWRITING PLEASE

But you've already seen my handwriting when I briefly explained how affiliate marketing and networks work.

I'm not gonna lie I was the one that started the bullying thing but I didn't know they was gonna get butthurt and deactivate their account. I thought people had bigger balls and tougher skin nowdays

I really hope you didn't think you were gonna get a pat on the back or a cookie for your honesty and confession. You went at a child for no reason. Even worse, you orchestrated it. I know quarantine is boring but I'm sure you can find better and more productive hands on things to do with your time. And if not then use that time to do some self-reflecting, because you need it. What you did was really lame, and you can take that personally.

Now, don't bother me again. I'm getting ready for bed.

'Kay, I'm not interested in the details. They're gone, it doesn't matter anymore. I don't care. If you bullied them then grow up, if you didn't then I wasn't talking to you. The end.

Just had some kid message me about being allegedly bullied by some of my followers, I blocked him.

Here's why: Number one: I'm not sure what happened. Number two: I'll never understand why some people think that just because they're having drama with followers of another person, that the person they're following is automatically involved or responsible for the others' behavior. I am not a parent. I am not part of the tumblr team. Half of my followers are obviously adults and I don't have any more authority than the next person to stop or encourage other people's behavior. I am busy running a factory - not a daycare, I don't get involved with petty online drama that doesn't concern me, even if the people involved are friends or followers. There's no point in messaging me about matters that have nothing to do with my factory or me personally. There are block and report options for a reason. Use them.

I hate having to post this, I'm terribly sorry. That just annoyed the living daylights out of me. Just as I was enjoying a nice glass of wine and-ugh. I digress.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Good evening.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

he didn't actually message you did he?

Yeah, he did. Twice, actually. And I was busy at the time. The issue seemed petty and easily resolvable.

😒

I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed with the notifications I'm receiving. My asks are totally backed up too. They just don't stop, ha. I'm gonna take a break and check on my Oompa Loompas. Heh...'kay bye.

Yeah. Sure.

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You have a very pretty nose

That's such an odd compliment, haha! You're weird.

I used a app that changes your face and when I used your face it changed my face to a girl. The app thinks you're a woman and put lipstick on my face because your lips are really pink it had me laughing so fucking hard. This is proof you're a pretty ass sexy delicious but feminine man. That's all I had to say love u bye sugar 😂😂😂😂😂😂

That-....

Well maybe your app is just crappy and it confuses features and gender often, more than you think. ....S'not my fault you got a two star crappy app. 😒