Latest Posts by toobytoobs - Page 15

Every time somebody asks Billy why he doesn’t do a thing half the time he answers with “House number [insert number here]” and the JL eventually don’t question him further and just apologise before shuffling away awkwardly.

Billy Batson answering (as Captain Marvel) the question of why he doesn't join in for a drink with the group after being pressured for the 800th time, this time by Guy, who already pisses Billy off in general tho he tries to hide it.

"House number 5. I don't drink."

"what the hell does that mean?"

"foster home number 5. Got beat black and blue by the foster parents bc one of the other kids stole their liquor and they blamed it on me. Nasty alcoholics, the both of them. So I told myself, when I grow up, I won't touch the stuff."

Guy tries back pedaling, but one of the others has already slapped him upside the head for pushing the captain.

"I'm sorry you went thru that cap, I guess we shouldn't have been bothering you to drink so much"

Idk something along the lines of whether true or not, Billy decides to tell them something that'll make them regret pushing. Still kinda percolating in my brain

Autism: Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne/Al Ghul, Cassandra Cain.

OCD: Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake.

ADHD: Stephanie Brown, Dick Grayson.

Neurotypical: Alfred Pennyworth.

None of the above: Jason Todd, Duke Thomas.

Need me a fic where Captain Marvel’s identity is revealed and Billy just starts running from all these heroes trying to parent him.

And it isn’t just the Justice League…

YJ would do anything for that man (boy?), at least after they get over the fact their father figure is actually younger than them.

The Titans bout to have Raven pull up the ancient scrolls to find a way to summon the Champion of Magic. (They are also trying to get over the fact that their father figure is younger than them)

The Outlaws are definitely ready to fight every other superhero team for him. (And, you guessed it! They are also trying to get over the fact their father figure is younger than them)

Meanwhile Billy is just like: “first CPS, now this? How does one get 50 different superheroes off their back?”

Semi inspired by the father figure Captain marvel posts

I think this perfectly shows what two thirds of Billy Batson-centric fanfics are

Gibving Billy a tummy ache because I have one and it’s lonely in ouchie tummy ville

—

Billly: ouwch I have a tummy ache

—

Tgis conclides my wonderful fanfiction, I hope you enjoured

Do you think that, if asked, Captain Marvel would tell the JL that “all the gods in my head are either screaming at each other about me or screaming at me to murder somebody to set an example” or do you think he just wouldn’t tell the truth?

Jesus Christ you guys really did overpower me while I was gone

I am scared of how dead focused some of you are on booping!!

I have to get off tumblr and I know when I come back tonight I’ll be drowning in boops!!!

I have to get off tumblr and I know when I come back tonight I’ll be drowning in boops!!!

I just learned about this booping thing and I’m having THE TIME OF MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!

IM BOOPING ALL OF YOU!

YOU CAN RUN AND HIDE BUT NO ONE IS SAFE FROM THESE PAWS!!!!

David Cain rips the humanity of being someone from Cassandra Cain and then has the GUTS to feel guilty about it and see her as his daughter.

World class assassin or not, if that man ever becomes real, I’m gonna try beat the shit out of him.

THISSS! But imagine he just starts picking up even more cause of past champions and the gods in his head.

So Captain Marvel starts muttering phrases in dead languages and no one can keep track of it, probably not even Billy!

Billy slowly starts picking up just little common Spanish expressions that Rosa used often after living with them for a while. Batman’s conspiracy board on Marvel just got even larger.

Foobyfoobs???? Idk man

Do you think Captain Marvel (Shazam) can inflict harm on himself?

Like if he’s in a situation where someone is forcing him to say the magic word (with the lasso of truth or something) and Captain Marvel knows if he transforms back to Billy he’ll die, couldn’t he just rip his own vocal cords out?

Like, obviously if he did they’ll heal (cause he’s magic) and he’d be able to speak again eventually, but ripping out your own vocal cords would be a pretty badass way to counter a villain, huh?

Good shock value for the horror everyone else would have at this person tearing out their own throat just so he wouldn’t say a word

Reblog if you want your followers to tell you which fictional character you remind them of.

For Halloween Captain Marvel Jr dresses up as a really niche character and no one gets it.

But then like some civilian kid points at Jr and yells the character’s name really excitedly and then Jr flies down with stars in his eyes and gets just as excited as the kid.

Somebody records the interaction and every time it comes up Jr gets really embarrassed.

“Dick’s Robin is ___!” “Jason’s Batgirl is ___!” “Cass’ Robin is ___!” “Steph’s Batgirl is ___!” “Tim’s Robin is ___!” “Duke’s Batgirl is ___!”

No no no, I don’t care about any of that, who is YOUR Batgirl? Who is YOUR Robin? Who will always be Batgirl and/or Robin in your eyes?

So mad right now because all the shows I want to watch are either not on any of the stupid streaming services I have, not available in my country, or nothing has it!

And I’m too tired to pirate it!!!!!

Have some de-aged Batman.

You can’t convince me that Batman wasn’t a angsty teen full of spite and anger.

———

Superman: “so, in the future you become a vigilante named Batman!”

Bruce, sitting cross legged in the corner of the room refusing to go near any of the JL: “I fucking hate bats, I swear those little flying rat-like shits want to kill me”

Flash, a look of pure shock on his face: “Batman was scared of bats?!?!?”

Green Lantern, wheezing with surprised laughter: “BATMAN WAS SCARED OF BATS!!!”

———

Bruce, staring at Green Arrow: “Ollie”

Green Arrow: “Bruce”

Bruce, looking Green arrow up and down with a judgmental look on his face: “you’ve aged-”

Green Arrow trying to finish his sentence: “well?”

Bruce, completely deadpan: “no”

Green Arrow: “…”

Bruce: “…”

Green Arrow turning around and speed walking away: “Okay! Bye!”

———

Bruce, pulling out a cigarette from nowhere and then lighting it with some random lighter.

Superman, nervously walking up to Bruce because he doesn’t know how to act around him: “hey Bruce? You shouldn’t be smoking in the watchtower… or like, anywhere”

Bruce just staring at him now: “…”

Superman, practically sweating now: “y’know, cause you’re… well… 16?”

Bruce, with a look of complete seriousness: “I’ll stop smoking when I inevitably smash a hole through one of the windows and let myself —and hopefully everyone else— get sucked into space to freeze and die”

Superman, backing away while trying to figure out if he was joking or not: “okay I’m just going to go now…”

———

Bruce: “so you can make anything with that ring?”

Green Lantern: “yep! Anything”

Bruce: “can you make a crowbar?”

Green Lantern, thinking he’s bonding with Bruce and conjures up a crowbar: “yeah”

Bruce, grabs the crowbar without warning and throws it at Green Arrow’s meeting chair, effectively making a huge dent in it.

Bruce: “cool” *walks away*

Green Lantern: *horrified and confused*

Some random kid in a red hoodie (Billy) absolutely bolting past Flash: AAAAAA-

A bunch of JL members running after him: *confused yelling and questions being shouted at the kid*

Flash: *long sip from his coffee*

Flash: I feel like I should be doing something… I just can’t put my finger on what…

Cass: It's just an axe wound, what's taking so long? Steph: [stitching "Steph wuz here" into Cass' back] Nothing.

Head-canoning Damian Wayne and Cassandra Cain as autistic is like seeing these two assassin children who already having the HARDEST time transitioning into (western) society and deciding to give them another truckload of difficulties.

Oh, you come from a very strict background that barely/didnt at all give you the freedom to be you? WELL GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE AFTER UNMASKING!

Oh, you already struggle to understand what people mean and you don’t get why people are the way they are? BOOM, NOW YOU ONLY UNDERSTAND SARCASM HALF THE TIME!

Oh, the societal norms are completely different yet just as (if not more) suffocating? HAHA, EYE CONTACT MAKES YOU WANNA SCREAM!

Things I think Captain Marvel has done to make money (some are inspired by random posts I remember but can’t find)

Sells embarrassing photos of the JL to the younger superheroes

Sells kryptonite thrown at him to the Fawcett City black market where it’s bought and thrown at him again

Using his lightning to spell stuff out in the sky for other heroes anniversaries (price depends on the person paying)

YJ paid him to juggle all of them at once. Goes without saying it ended in disaster

His tooth was knocked out by Black Adam once and Billy sold it to Batman (Batman wanted to study Cap’s dna and Billy just went “money is money”)

Many of the sidekicks (current or former) have paid him to blow up their mentor’s mailbox with lightning and Billy, once again, went “money is money”

Took kids flying (for a fundraiser, but it still counts)

Paid to eat really hot peppers or anything difficult to eat in general

He did a little jig once for 20 bucks

Captain Marvel in the Watchtower rec room.

Green Lantern (Hal) & Flash: *giggling at something on GL’s phone*

Audio coming from the phone: *bang*“Ow!”—*clang* “Ouch!”—*thump* “ack!”—*thud*“Ow …I think that left a dent…”

Captain Marvel, clearly annoyed: “you’re really watching that again?”

Green Lantern: “sorry dude! It’s just so funny!”

Captain Marvel: *turns around to walk out the room but bangs his head on the top of the door frame*

Flash: *falls out of his chair laughing*

Okay but some in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.

And I’m pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.

Okay but someone in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.

And I’m pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.

I feel like when things are quiet in Gotham and the only threat is normal criminals, Cass would have no issue blasting music on patrol just for fun. No one knows what to make of it, Bruce isn't sure if it's an effective crime fighting tactic or not but it sure is Something.

You are random Gotham mugger 745 trying to steal from a woman on her way home from work and you suddenly hear Chappell Roan's Good Luck Babe growing ominously louder until you're suddenly knocked out too fast to recognise who it is. You end up at the police station with five other guys who've experienced something similar. One says they heard Mitski's My Love Mine All Mine playing. Another heard wish you were gay by Billie Eilish. Is there a lesbian ghost haunting Gotham? What the hell is going on?

Elsewhere on a completely unrelated note Barbara is having a long discussion with Cass on first loves and realising you're gay. Chappell Roan and girl in red will be haunting Gotham criminals for a solid month before she finally works up the courage to actually Talk to Steph about how she's feeling, at which point the lesbian ghost who knocks criminals unconscious will have developed into a Gotham meme and become an urban legend. Believers will say it's a new god here to protect sapphic women. Skeptics will tell you it's probably just Poison Ivy.

Idea: Captain Marvel (Shazam) gets knocked so hard by magic that it sends his conscience spiralling into one of the past champions.

Captain Marvel just lying down in a massive crater: ow

Superman, rushing over to Marvel: Captain! Are you alright?!

Captain Marvel: *stands up and stares at this random blue man*

Superman, getting increasingly worried: What happened?

Marvel, looking down at himself and talking in a dead language: Yo, why am I a man????

Superman, looking rightfully confused at him not speaking english anymore: Captain?

Marvel, looking at his hands in increasing confusion: …why am I WHITE????

Doing a Mary one. Click here to see the Freddy poll results.

I don’t see very many variations of Mary’s name, but I did Freddy and I thought I may as well do Mary cause there definitely are a few different names the fandom uses for her.

I didn’t put a Mrs option cause it felt like it implied that she was married to Captain Marvel/shazam 🤢

Random Captain Marvel things I think confuses the JL (yes, obviously this is inspired by Wonderjanga)

———

Everyone at the Justice League debrief meeting after a mission

Captain Marvel, randomly standing up and looking a little sick: “uh, please excuse me”

Batman: “Captain, you cannot just-“

Captain Marvel: *turns away and projectile vomits a bunch of letters onto the wall*

Batman: “…”

Batman: “you are excused.”

Captain Marvel, picking up the letters and sifting through them like it’s normal mail: “aw man! Another bill!”

Wonder Woman, shaking her head with a disapproving sigh: “man’s world and their idiotic delivery methods”

Superman: “oh Diana, that’s not- actually, nevermind”

———

Captain Marvel: *sitting in the JL watchtower cafeteria blowing out a candle on a small birthday cake.*

Green lantern, walking in to see him: “oh Cap! It’s your birthday???”

Captain Marvel with childlike glee on his face: “Yeah! I’m turning 11!”

Green Lantern: “wait wha-“

Captain Marvel: “and 3! And 41,024,618! And 350,597,120,140!”

Green Lantern: “excuse me what-“

Captain Marvel, checking an hourglass duck taped to his wrist: “oops! I gotta go or I’ll be late for Dinosaur sledding with Tawky Tawny!”

Captain Marvel: *zips out the room with the cake, leaving a very confused Green Lantern behind.*

Green Lantern: “Dinosaur sledding???”

———

Superman: *walks into the watchtower break room to see Captain Marvel and a younger blue version of him playing catch with a jar that holds a screaming worm inside.*

Superman: “Captain, who is this??? Why is there a worm in the jar and why on earth are you throwing it?”

Mr. Mind: “RELEASE M-“

Captain Marvel after chucking the jar straight at blue Captain Marvel’s head: “oh hi Supes! This is my older brother!”

Blue Captain Marvel after almost dropping the worm who is now screaming profanities: “holy crap! You’re Superm-!”

Before blue Captain Marvel can finish, a portal opens behind him and he gets sucked in screaming.

Superman, now with his fists up: “Captain Marvel! Get back!”

A younger girl version of Captain Marvel pokes her head out of the portal: “yo, Cap! Sivanna gave Tawny fleas and now Tawny seems like he’s gonna commit murder!”

Captain Marvel, flying into the portal without hesitation: “bye Supes!”

Superman, just standing there shellshocked: “I need to sit down…”

I need more Captain Marvel (Shazam) content where all the gods treat him like their baby nephew/baby cousin.

Like I’m talking pinched cheeks, hair ruffling, picking him up under his armpits like a cat, cooing, excessive gifts (but since they are all old as shit as well as literal gods it’s stuff like solid gold bars, little wooden toys, ceremonial daggers and a goat that one time).

It happens both when he’s Billy Batson and when he’s Captain Marvel.

So imagine the JL seeing their heaviest hitter and brick wall of a man having his cheeks pinched and him being swung and dangled around like a rag doll by these 10ft tall gods that came outta nowhere.

Cass, coming back from her fight to the “death” with Shiva: “I lived bitch, and so did Shiva”

Babs: “I’m so happy you’re alive! but we really gotta unpack that later…”

So we've had "skill issue," we've had "lock in," we've had "where we droppin' boys" but I put forward that if there's any one piece of borrowed internet slang Cass would get constant use out of in her day to day crimefighting career it would be "I lived bitch."

The Captain Marvel Dad AU is literally just Billy not wanting to be adopted SO bad that he mentally adopts everyone else.

And that is so Billy-coded

Like, yeah, you just got adopted by this preteen, but that’s only cause you didn’t adopt him first! You snooze you lose