Abby - Blog Posts

These three would be good friends I think

It’s interesting, Lelu has the opposite effect where everyone acts like her new best friend and aggressive things act docile and friendly. Where Abby makes normal people around her homicidal, but dangerous things are friendly to her as well.

And with how many people die at the SCP foundation in just a week; Lelu would be able to see dozens of ghost!

What do you think would happen if Lelu met these two?

love this goblin sm

Days 11-15 of Inktober! These goobers consume my every waking thought actually

Character names from left to right and top to bottom are Cricket (and Lavender in the top corner), Vell, Parthenia, Mira and Idara, and Faer and Maggie.

Prompt list by @stormyth-art under the cut!

i'm going feral this week because i'm starting a new d&d campaign, so i drew the bbeg from my first one! this was supposed to just be a meme but funny doll lady go brr and i got way too into it dfjdfj

for those wanting some lore, she used to be a human but Effed around with eldritch shenanigans and Found Out, so now she's a doll who sees the fourth wall as as vague suggestion!

close-ups under the cut!

My Musketeers (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/BJRf4ePH0U Lily Archer invite her team to her place for a housewarming party. They're have fun, when Tony DiNozzo tell them a story, and they're basically take in time to the past.

United to be a Family (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/ml0lST5ibU It's being two years since Deaf woman had being captured by a team of terrorists in Middle East. She's former Marine. Naval Criminal Investigation Service (NCIS) have no idea what the hell is going on, during the two years, because they're too busy to notice that Deaf woman have limited time to be save, and rescue. She have a secrets that nobody k…

Potato Challenge

Today is the Martian Potato Challenge were for 24 hours you can only eat potatoes and water. However throughout the day there are opportunities to win salt, coffee and tea. Why on Earth would I be putting myself through this? It is a campaign to raise money for kids to attend space camp during Minnesota's Give To The Max Day. Although it may be too late to get in on the competition (as you eat a piece of pizza) you can still donate to the cause here...

 https://www.givemn.org/organization/themarsgeneration

The Last of Us | Abby Anderson

I can imagine people thinking I hate the game based on how incredibly critical I am of it in my essays and that couldn't be further from the truth. I love this game to pieces. It has been on my mind nearly every day since it came out, it fascinates me, inspires me and has like nothing else that has been released in the past year made me think about my own craft and skills, I have never been this productive and this thrilled about storytelling before. And if I'm being honest, I could write just as many, just as long essays gushing about certain aspects of the game, I just don't think that'd be an interesting read and/or give reason to have interesting conversations. No piece of art is perfect, so me being critical of it is not necessarily a reflection of my overall stance. Again, this game and its story mean the world to me.

Hi there, anon last week who offered some criticism about bias/etc in response to the Joel essay. Was looking forward to your Abby essay and really wanted to be open minded but truthfully you managed to cherry pick the absolute shit out of moments in the game and ignored so many allusions/small nuances/moments that you claim aren’t in the game (Abby showing regret, etc). That take is one of the most biased takes yet that I have read about this game. Also your use of the word retarded to describe Ellie’s questionable decision making with Mel and Owen isn’t cool. If you’re capable of writing an essay like this, you’re capable of finding another word to use instead of that.

But onto the issues with some of the arguments. This is going to be long so buckle up. (I hope it sends in it’s entirety so apologies if it doesn’t). I don’t expect this to be posted, again this is just a criticism to try and point out some bias that I’m seeing coming through. I tried to stay in a linear order of examples you brought up but if I bounce around I apologize. There’s a lot of moments that you give as examples where you would seem to embellish what happened and twist it to fit the narrative that you wanted regarding Abby and her arc.

After Joel’s death, there’s references made to Abby not sleeping and we see that she’s still having nightmares about running into the operating room and finding her dad/finding Lev and Yara. If she truly felt justified in her actions and that she had gotten her revenge, why would she still be having nightmares about this subject? Perhaps she is feeling guilt and didn’t receive any closure from Joel’s death and it’s not until after she knows Yara is okay that we finally see some sort of closure where the nightmare of death turns into a dream. It could be argued that perhaps she’s found a new purpose in life after the end of a 4 year quest and that  through taking care of those that saved her life, she’s been able to move on because of this. There’s also moments during the opening of her half (specifically when we see the mansion scene again but from her view) that after the final blow, there’s no relief. For one or two moments, some of her expression look like she could be contemplating the extent of her own actions. It doesn’t seem like there’s any joy or happiness there.

Next. Expecting Abby to change her view on the Seraphites in two days because of some kids she saved is highly unrealistic. She has conversations with Lev though when they’re making their way up to the sky bridge where they discuss the religion, how the prophets teachings have been skewed over time. Even learning about them, the Seraphites would try to kill her regardless. There’s no reason for her to have a change of heart because she’s met two outliers to their religion. The majority of them still are religious fanatics.

As far as expressing remorse to Ellie for what she did to Joel, Abby didn’t know of Joel’s importance to Ellie in the same way that Ellie didn’t know it was Jerry’s death that Abby sought out vengeance for, not taking away the cure (as stated by Ellie int he theatre confrontation where she states ‘I’m the one you want, there’s no cure because of me’.” This was a really interesting decision on the writers part. Personally I would loved to have seen some sort of revelations with these but I also enjoy the fact that they never know how significantly their lives impacted each other. Abby had to reason to show Ellie remorse because she simply didn’t know the connection. For all she knew, Joel and Ellie could have been a randomly paired patrol group from Jackson. Not a father-daughter like bond.

I do agree with your assessment that perhaps Isaac had something to do with her dark ways. Clearly he has no qualms with brutal tactics and seeing as Abby is consistently referred to as one of the top WLF, it’s not unrealistic to assume that he had a direct hand into grooming her violent ways. That’s not to say she didn’t have a choice, but it’s an interesting concept to explore how he could have shaped the growth of a 16 year old Abby hell bent on revenge.

Owen’s drunk provocation of Abby is an interesting scene because Abby has always relied on Owen to be by her side. To hear his unfiltered thoughts on Joel’s torture could have come as a shock to the system because he has always been straight with her and to have someone as important to her as him paint her brutal actions in such a blunt, disapproving way could have maybe felt like a slight betrayal. There’s no excuse for Owen cheating on Mel, but we see a moment of weakness and vlunerability with the two of them. Not sure why the sex scene gets bashed so much. Whereas Ellie and Dina are allowed to be intimate (granted yes not anywhere near as explicit as Abby and Owen), there seems to be no issue with the former as opposed to the latter. Sex is natural. What’s so traumatizing about the scene? Genuinely curious.

Onto arguments about Seraphite island. You call the line from Yara a throw away line (about how there’s fighting and gun fire from the other way) yet if the conflict has spilled out to where they were, why would they go back that way? Abby trusted Lev and Yara to know a way out because she wasn’t familiar with the island. Why shut down their suggestions when she knows nothing about the layout or inner workings? Regarding Isaac, I don’t think Abby all of a sudden offering to torture a Seraphite would have been an automatic get out of jail free card. Isaac wanted the fight to be over, why would he allow one soldier to take a boat to take a child away for torture? In the grand scheme of things, this doesn’t make sense. Abby could have chosen to go back to the WLF but instead, she chose her new family (Lev). To act like she was best friends with all of the WLF and this means she shouldn’t have killed them once again doesn’t feel realistic. Even Isaac makes a comment about the Salt Lake Crew and how close they are, there’s no reason to believe that she went out of her way to befriend others when she already had her group. Abby more than likely would have gone to SB with Owen and the others (pre Mel conversation) since she was already an enemy of the WLF by that point. There’s no need to call writers less talented/less creative because you didn’t like the story. Resorting to personal attacks on their abilities doesn’t help your arguments. It comes off as petty.

Onto Abby ‘dragging’ Lev to the theater. You’re more than willing to point out Lev’s traumatic experiences but not Abby’s. Lev chose to give Abby the map. He had no reason to, but instead offered it up to her. Lev isn’t stupid. In his interactions with Abby, he shows an understanding of Owen’s importance to her so it’s not out of the box for him to understand the implications of giving her a literal map to the location of the person that had killed the two of them. As for why wouldn’t they give up Abby’s location: Mel was ready to do so and was going to. We know she doesn’t like Abby, figured she was likely dead, and saw a chance to perhaps save the two of them if she gave Ellie what she wanted. Owen cares for Abby and didn’t want to risk the possibility of Ellie finding her, interrupting the conversation before Mel could give any info. Owen approaching Ellie wasn’t wise, but how is his effort to try and deescalate anything other than an attempt to protect both himself and Mel?

Next. Abby did not respond with glee to learning Dina was pregnant. I’m not sure what you think glee is, but there’s nothing happy or joyful about the way she reacted. She’s fueled by blind rage at that point and it’s already been established she’s an eye for an eye type person. Ellie had killed Mel who was pregnant (she’s wearing a coat because there’s a giant ass rainstorm. I’m not sure why her wearing a coat would be so confusing and out of character?) and Dina happening to be pregnant would be an eye for an eye in Abby’s view. Does this make it right? No. But she was not jumping for joy and oh so happy to find that out.

Not sure what the qualms are with something as small as collections cards vs coins. It’s a video game. There was a chance to add more collectibles for a trophy so why not? This seems like a detail to just pick at just because you can. Giraffe/zebra, we knew in the first game wild animals were running around. Why is it out of the box for a group LIVING in SLC to make a hobby of watching them? Again, seems nitpicky. A father/father figure teasing a child about a relationship. Isn’t this just a dad thing? Again, feels nitpicky and serves no purpose as a legitimate critique. The museum/aquarium, are people not allowed to explore and have things they’re intersted in?’ These little details you throw in serve no real purpose other than to nitpick and are basing this off an emotional response instead of trying to use logic regrding game mechanics/achievements/explanations/etc.

Im sure there’s things I’m missing or that I forgot to mention but this has become quite long. As a wrap up, it feels like you truly haven’t tried to look at the game from a neutral perspective. Perhaps you really have tried, but that doesn’t really show in your essays. It shows as still having a strong bias towards anything that isn’t complimentary of Ellie or Joel and their stories. I do enjoy reading different perspectives on the game and having discussions, but I would still find it hard to approach and have a thoughtful discussion because there seems to be no openness and the vibe that you know the story better than the writers do. That paired with insults flung at the writers makes it feel like nothing more than a spiteful rant for not living up to your expectation rather than a constructive critique. I look forward to further essays and hope that perhaps the tone can become a bit more neutral in them. Have a great evening.

First of all, I wanna say thank you for reaching out and offering some critique, of course that is what I am hoping for (I'm not writing a 4500 word essay only to have it not be read and discussed), so again thank you for that. The next thing, you are absolutely right about the use of the word "retarded", I'll change that as soon as I posted this response. Regarding the cherry picking, I yet again have to agree with you. Of course I picked scenes that serve as (for me the most fitting) examples to support my claim/stance. I think you would agree that talking about every single scene of this game, especially in a single essay, is near impossible. So I instead reduced the list of my arguments to what I believed to be most crucial ones in informing my opinion (thus hoping they would also be most convincing to the reader). Before I go on to react to the specific arguments you make, and I had hoped I worded my essay in a way that that becomes clear, that essay is an outline of my thoughts in a way, it is me saying: this is my opinion/position/stance and these are reasons x, y, z of why I have that opinion. Subsequently, it is neither a definitive statement of any kind nor is it a critique to people who feel differently than me. I repeatedly say "in my point of view", "for me", "I expected", as well as giving room for other interpretations (I literally state that other interpretations are possible, and then went on to explain why I interpreted it the way I did). Which leads me neatly to your first argument. For you, Abby's nightmares read as an expression of guilt as well as other instances, allusions and nuances as you say, that could be interpreted this way. But that is exactly my critique. Interpretation is something so subjective and all these supposed allusions (again that is up to the individual's interpretation) are so incredibly vague that there is no way we could ever make a definitive statement about what they actually allude to. You reading it as guilt concerning Joel is absolutely and 100% justified, but me not doing so is just as legitimate. And Abby didn't strike me as feeling guilty the first time I played, and she still didn't the tenth time I did. Additionally, a glance that lasts a few seconds (and could be interpreteted in a marriott of ways) is unfortunately not substantial and concrete enough to balance out all the concrete evidence (Abby's actual actions) I have of her being a questionable person. This is one of the reasons why I needed Abby to have an actual conversation, to verbalize what's going on in her head. And it could have been with any one person, honestly, it didn't need to be Ellie. And I 100% agree with you there that we'd have to tweak a lot of the rest of the game if we were to arrive at my proposed alternative ending, since Abby wouldn't have the information needed (none of my proposed fixes work in isolation btw, so this goes for the Isaac confrontation as well). But it instead could have been a conversation with Lev, or Owen during that scene on the boat for instance (which I absolutely adore, by the way, it's one of my favourite scenes in the entire game). Owen's heartfelt monolgue could have been the perfect stepping stone for Abby to reveal her inner conflicts, thoughts, and motivations. But instead we get a sex scene. My issues here lies with the fact that they decided to show as much as they did for pure shock value (as opposed to implying it like they did with Ellie and Dina). But this is only issue #273 I have, so let's move on to the more important stuff. And this is where it gets interesting to me personally: You argue that Abby living with the WLF for the past four years would not lead her to having a strong enough connection to her comrades to not be willing to kill them. How is her connection to Lev so strong then after just 48 hours? Looks a lot like cherry picking to me. And this next argument has to be my favourite: You don't have to critize the writers just because you didn't like the story. Have you considered that I didn't like the story because it was

poorly written? I have no idea why people put writers on such a pedestal. It is their literal job. And when they don't do their job well I have the right to critize them for it. Abby dragging Lev to the theatre is and will remain inexcusable to me. First of all, Abby's "traumatic" experiences pale next to Lev's, but on top of that she's an adult and Lev a literal child. If you don't care that she's dismissive of his feelings and struggles here, because she prioritizes her own, that's your right. But I find it horrendous. "Glee" might have been the wrong word to choose here, but you still understand what I was trying to express. Her reaction to receiving that information is still messed up and concerning. And if Abby is indeed an eye for an eye type of character, and that is the supposed motivation for her to want to kill Dina, why then did Joel saving her life not lead to her letting him live in return? That would have been the eye for an eye solution, you saved my life so I will spare yours. And yet. Now, as the second to last thing, I want to address the critique that I do not come off as neutral enough. And I am absolutely aware of that. I had a second person proofread my essay before I posted it and they also let me know (even though I was aware of it beforehand) that as a reader one can tell that I am getting increasingly more frustrated as the essay goes on. And for a while I thought of going over the essay again to fix it to try to sound more neutral, objective and unemotional (like I did with my other two essays, that still aren't entirely neutral or free of personal bias by any means, as no text expressing opinions and feelings ever truly can be), but I ultimately decided against it. Not only is this a game specifically designed to elicit strong emotions, and pointing out all the issues I have did frustrate me, so why should I try to play that down? But also, why am I the only person expected to be completely rid of personal bias or emotions? Why are my arguments only seen as valid or legitimate if I present them in precisely the one way that suits you best? How am I expected to anticipate any one reader's interpretation and thus emotional reaction to my words and consciously construct my essay in a way which aims to prevent said reaction? No utterance, especially regarding opinions and feelings, is entirely neutral or free of personal bias. Your critique of my essay is filled with personal bias as well as it is emotionally charged. Does not take away from the legitimacy of your stance and/or arguments though, does it?

My priorities when I write these essays are: accumulating enough strong arguments to support my position, structuring them in a logical way as to assist the reader in recreating my thought process (to increase comprehension), wording it in a way that is as thorough while also as efficient as possible, attempting to word it in a way that is as neutral and objective as I can be (the exception being my Abby essay as I have just explained). And since I am not dismissive, condescending, or accusatory towards people who might disagree with me, I don't see a problem with being emotionally charged every now and then.

Now, finally I do wanna thank you again for voicing critique. I do appreciate it a lot. Not only for reading my essays, but again trying to look at them critically and informing me about issues you have found within my writing. It continues to force me to look at my own opinion with a critical eye and more often than not I have found myself persuaded by compelling arguments presented by people like you. And while you said you wouldn't be interested in having an open discussion/conversation, I would have to disagree, but I think an oral conversation would be more fruitful since I do get the feeling a lot might get lost by having it be a written conversation.

Why Abby never redeemed herself (and what that means for the story)

As divisive as the discourse surrounding Abby as a character and The Last of Us Part 2’s story as a whole is, I have felt the need for quite some time now to properly put into words why much of the intended effect the highly ambitious narrative attempted to achieve has unfortunately never occurred for me. This is due to a single central problem: Abby does not have a redemption arc. A redemption arc consists of two equally crucial aspects: a) the character undergoing the arc realizes that they made a mistake/have been acting morally reprehensible b) they make the conscious decision to do/be better Abby doesn’t do either of those things. Regarding the first aspect, the only instance where Abby alludes to feeling some type of guilt or shame or regret regarding any of her actions (both in terms of what happened in Jackson and what’s going on in Seattle) is on day 2, while she descends the hotel with Lev. When asked by him why she’s helping them, Abby says she “needed to lighten the load a bit”. This is most commonly interpreted as her feeling guilty. This one sentence, however, is so incredibly vague that it’s impossible to determine definitively what she’s talking about here. More than likely, she is referring to having slept with Owen. Not only did that happen mere hours ago, meaning it would still be on her mind, but additionally, Abby has remained consistently defensive, almost aggressively so, when being questioned or challenged in the slightest about Jackson (nearly all her conversations with Mel and Manny during the first day showcase this), so why would she out of nowhere admit any feeling of guilt concerning Joel? Furthermore, nothing occurred that could have acted as a trigger for Abby to start looking back on her actions with self-reflection/self-criticism. And for precisely these reasons I didn’t take that line as an allusion to Joel. (Again, it is possible to interpret it this way, I’m just illustrating why I deem it unlikely.)

Her decision to save Lev and Yara, as is implied by the narrative, is motivated by her feeling like she owes them for having saved her life. And thus (since they would likely die otherwise) she felt somewhat obligated – against her better judgement – to help them in return. Abby doesn't feel the need to change her mind about the Seraphites, she merely makes an exception for these two. Even when interacting with Lev and Yara, she continues to be reluctant, judgmental, and condescending throughout the majority of the first two days (we can spontaneously think of snide, condescending comments Abby makes toward Lev whenever he is talking about his faith), again showcasing that she clearly has no desire or intention to change her mind about their faction, as well as continuously refusing to take them seriously/treat them respect. And while on the subject of Lev and his faith, we do see Abby learning quite a bit about the Seraphites’ religion, but it’s always through the lens of Lev, who makes an effort to distance himself from the rest of his people. When explaining himself to Abby, he makes it clear that this is his belief, and that the Seraphites deviated from their original beliefs/teachings some time ago, thus only reinforcing Abby’s previously held beliefs. She is given no reason to look at the conflict between the two factions from an objective/distant perspective, possibly realizing that misunderstandings, prejudices and year-long, one-sided, vicious rhetoric might have blown the conflict out of proportion (and that she may have been complicit in that). As a result, Abby continues to have no qualms with slaughtering Seraphites. On the morning of the first day, Abby doesn’t hesitate because they're all just religious lunatics to her, and she continues to have this attitude at the end of the third day, Lev being the only exception. There's complete absence of self-reflection, admittance of fault, or desire to change her way of thinking from Abby's side, so where exactly is her supposed character growth? Ultimately, Abby believes to be 100% justified and her enemies to be 100% at fault (this goes for both the Seraphites and Ellie). But there is another problem. Even if Abby had undergone a decent arc, learning the error of her ways, or at the very least realizing how her years of blind loyalty and narrow-mindedness led to unjust, meaningless bloodshed, it would ultimately be irrelevant unless she also drew a connection to her misdeeds against Joel and Ellie. Her supposed “redemption arc” during the three days in Seattle is entirely removed from what she did in Jackson. Thus, even if her arc was well-written and brilliantly executed, she would have at most redeemed herself with regard to the WLF/Seraphite conflict. Let me quickly illustrate why: in a hypothetical situation where I set your house on fire and then immediately afterwards cross the street to give a homeless person 100 dollars, would I have repented myself in your eyes? Would you absolve me of my crimes against you? No, because these two acts are entirely independent of each other. I have not shown repentance towards you or made amends for the injustice you suffered because of my actions. Similarly, Abby has not redeemed herself in my eyes, even in the hypothetical best-case scenario where she undergoes a well-crafted and fantastically executed redemption arc in Seattle (which would give me something to work with at least). Unless she makes the connection and expresses some sort of regret or remorse for what she’s put Ellie through, it is impossible for her to redeem herself regarding this offense and that’s the redemption I was interested in seeing. Some players seem to hold the belief that Abby doesn't need to redeem herself for killing Joel. I cannot argue with that. All I can do is illustrate my position, I believe that her actions were wrong, particularly regarding Ellie who had absolutely no part in killing her father. Hence, I expected – in some way even demanded – a redemption arc, at least if I was ever expected to come around to Abby.

I went into her section looking forward to seeing things from her perspective, wanting to latch onto her personality and get engrossed in her arc, but was ultimately let down. And I wanna make this absolutely clear: Abby does not need to regret having killed Joel in order to redeem herself (both in the audience's and in Ellie's eyes). Her motivation is after all understandable, much like Ellie's is. Still, I would have liked to see her feeling regret for having killed Joel in such an exceptionally and unnecessarily brutal and sadistic way. Perhaps Abby could realize that Isaac's years of training turned her into a heartless, unfeeling killing machine, and that this “darker side” of her came even more to the forefront during that highly emotional moment in the ski lodge. Perhaps, in retrospect, the fact that, despite Ellie's repeated crying and pleading, Abby still went through with killing Ellie’s father figure right in front of her eyes, is slowly starting to gnaw at her conscience (since Abby has been in a similar situation). Just imagine a confrontation between these two women where they actually get to have a conversation with each other. Imagine Abby eventually expressing regret, apologizing to Ellie for having caused her so much suffering. How would that effect Ellie who has been desperate to kill this woman up until this point (in this alternative, hypothetical story)? I cannot express how much potential for compelling dialogue and really powerful drama lies in this alternative scenario. In this version, Abby, who gave into her darkest impulses due to her anger and sadness and insatiable need for vengeance, could ultimately, through self-reflection, realization and asking for forgiveness (a.k.a. actual character growth), prevent Ellie from going down a similarly dark path. And I am in no way implying that this is the only direction this story could have gone that I would have accepted, but I needed to be given something at least. But we were denied all of this. No critical self-assessment, no admission of guilt, no want to redeem herself in the eyes of the people whom she wronged. And thus, Abby's potential redemption arc turns to dust. Now I feel the need to address another incredibly large issue I have with Abby, not as a character within a story, but as a person within the universe. Because unfortunately I am not convinced that I’d be capable of coming around to her even if all these major issues were fixed. And the reason for this being numerous independent acts which I am not able to overlook or excuse. Beginning with her sleeping with Owen. Completely ignoring the fact that him and Abby talk about torturing someone only to 5 seconds later do the devil’s tango (which is quite frankly one the most disturbing things I’ve ever had to witness), I personally find infidelity an inexcusable offense. There is not a single good reason not to be honest with your partner, not to resist your impulses, not to do the right thing. The fact that Mel is about to bring Owen’s child into this world is not exactly helping either. And with this one act (of which I’m to this day unsure why it was included in the game at all? What purpose did that sex scene serve apart from traumatizing me for life?) the writers pretty much sealed the deal for me regarding my opinion of Abby, all the goodwill that might have been left completely eradicated. But I had no idea what profoundly disturbing and repellent things were yet to come. On Day 3, after Abby followed Lev onto the island and he just lost his sister, Abby, in order to ensure they escape the island together, goes on to mow down WLFs and Seraphites alike. For one, the matter of fact is that there would have been plenty other ways to get out of that situation, for instance: a) Why do they not return to the boat with which they came (and landed on a very remote part of the island with)? I know they offer some bs throw-away line from Yara about hearing gunshots coming from there, but honestly anything would be smarter than going through the main battle that’s going on in Haven.

But no, we can’t have characters make rational decisions, we need another cool action set piece, goddammit. b) In that confrontation with Isaac (I still can’t get over how they actually ran into him, like what are the odds of this) why wouldn't Abby just tell Isaac that she wants Lev to herself, that she wants to take her sweet time torturing him? Don’t tell me Isaac wouldn’t be on board with that. But then Abby and Lev would be able to escape the island no problem, and we need to show how much Abby cares about Lev (who she met 24 hours ago btw) by having her willingly accept getting shot to protect him. We can’t have Abby making rational decisions that would ensure both her own and the kid’s survival she apparently so desperately cares for, we need another cool action set piece, goddammit. What I am trying to illustrate is that there would have been more than one alternative to avoid having to kill her own comrades. But no, Abby instead opts for the way that not only takes longer and is much riskier but is also the one that forces her to kill her own comrades/friends. (Me criticizing the stupidity of the character's actions is obviously by extension a critique of the poor writing, since a more creative/more talented writer would have come up with logical, sensical ways to get to this plot point/action set piece. I'm not criticizing the fact they prioritize a certain plot point, but there's ways to reach those in more organic, logical, non-contrived ways.) And what does Abby have to say when Lev asks her about just having killed dozens of her own people? “It doesn’t matter.”. Mind you, these are the people she has spent the past four years with, the family and the home she was granted after having lost that in Salt Lake City (keep in mind how much effort they put into showing us how chummy Abby was with literally everyone during Day 1 too). And she ploughs through them with absolute apathy. No hesitation, no moral dilemma, no inner conflict, nothing. This woman is a literal sociopath. And I know it sounds like it couldn’t get any worse, and yet. I think my absolute favorite thing about Abby has to be how selfless and empathic she is. Only take the scene at the end of day three where she finds Owen and Mel dead in the aquarium. What is the next thing Abby does? She drags a 13-year-old child into a combat situation, a child who has recently been through five – count them five!!! – severe traumatic events within the last three days. a) He was excommunicated from his community, whose members then went on to hunt him and his sister down for sport. b) His sister lost her arm trying to protect him, nearly dying in the process. c) He had to kill his mother in self-defense because she was so unable to accept him for who he is to the point of attempting to kill him. d) He lost his sister whose last act was saving his life once again. e) He watched the community he’s been a part of his entire life being slaughtered in front of his eyes while his home and the physical manifestation of his faith, their place of worship, burned and razed to the ground. This 13-year-old child needs all the affection, attention, compassion, support and time in the world to be able to cope with all this. But unfortunately, Lev is stuck with Abby, who couldn’t care less. As soon as she finds her two friends dead, Lev’s struggles are immediately brushed aside. So much so that she drags him along, willingly putting his life at risk again while also expecting him to be capable of focusing enough to assist/aid her. “I know you – a literal child – just lost everything that made up your sense of identity and belonging, but I really liked my two friends, so shut up, we need to focus on me first.” And people expect me to like this person? Of all the things Abby did that make her the most psychotic, despicable, and morally reprehensible person, this one might take the cake for me personally. How far up your own a**, how far removed from any capability of showing empathy do you have to be to act this way?

It seems to me that she does not care about Lev after all (only when we need a cool action set piece where she kills all her friends – she does it out of love for this random kid though, so it’s okay). And yet there remains one final moment, one decision, one act that we need to talk about – when Abby reacts with glee upon hearing she is about to slit a pregnant woman’s throat. And once again, if it wasn’t for the presence of a literal child, she would have gone through with it. I've heard claims in defense of this heinous act such as she deems it retribution for Mel's death. And I don’t know about you, but I didn’t get the impression she liked Mel all that much, especially considering she barely bestows a glance at Mel’s lifeless body, she instead cries over Owen. Let's compare her to Ellie for a moment, as people often tend to, thinking it would benefit their defense of Abby: When Ellie confronts Mel and Owen in the aquarium, she makes it clear from the very first second that she is not interested in them, but in Abby (prioritizing the actual perpetrator as opposed to mere (somewhat innocent) bystanders). And I’m gonna have to rant for a second about how utterly dumb and contrived this whole scene is: a) Why exactly is Mel there to begin with? Why is a woman as heavily pregnant as she is even allowed outside the base, much less in a combat situation? (It almost seems like the writers needed to make sure there’s a pregnant woman around for Ellie to kill, no matter how nonsensical and contrived it might be, especially considering we’re in a post-apocalyptic world where pregnant women would be the most valued (and thus most protected) members of society, seeing how they literally ensure the survival of humankind.) b) Mel conveniently wears a big ass coat that hides her belly, when every other second we see her throughout the game she has it on full display so that everyone can immediately tell how heavily pregnant she is. c) Why in the world would the first thing out of Mel’s mouth not be that she’s pregnant? Someone’s holding a pistol to her face and she doesn’t even consider pleading to Ellie to spare her and her child? That Owen doesn’t say anything is even funnier, but we already knew that he doesn’t care about Mel and his own child, so. d) Why would they refuse to give Ellie the information? Not only has it been established that Mel doesn’t care too much about Abby, there should be no dilemma for her when it comes to choosing between protecting her own child and ratting Abby out. But also: Abby is on the Seraphite island where an attck is currently taking place? What are the odds of a) Abby surviving that in the first place, b) Ellie actually managing to get there, and c) Ellie surviving, finding and killing Abby? You have absolutely no good reason to not give up Abby's location, you have nothing to lose and only your own and your child’s life to save. e) Why the hell would Owen approach Ellie who is holding a gun to his pregnant girlfriend’s face? Yeah, sure, don’t comply with her, she can only kill the three of you within milliseconds. (Like, I want so badly to empathize with these people, but it’s really difficult when they continue to be so utterly stupid and incompetent.) f) Ellie, if you threaten someone with a gun, you make sure they don’t come within a two-meter radius of you. And if they don’t back the f*ck up, you shoot them in the kneecap. Then you point the gun at the preggo lady and tell her you’re gonna kill Owen unless she gives you the information you want. Why are you suddenly the most idiotic and incompetent human being? You see, we can’t have characters make rational decisions, we need to show that Ellie is the evilest person to ever exist, no matter how contrived and nonsensical all the events leading up to it are (including discarding Ellie of her core characteristics and skills). Look, she killed an unborn child! Yeah, sounds fine in theory, only problem being:

a) Ellie didn’t know Mel was pregnant b) they attacked her first, she killed them in self-defense c) she had a complete mental breakdown when she found out Kinda the exact opposite of Abby, wouldn’t you agree? Abby knew Dina was pregnant, neither Ellie nor Dina was a threat to her any longer, and she was thrilled to take Dina’s (and her baby’s) life. You can try however hard you like to convince me that Abby is somehow justified here or that she’s a morally grey character, but no matter how you slice it, chief, that is not morally grey, that is repellent and disturbing. I have now done everything in my power to illustrate as detailed and thorough as I was able to why Abby did not have a redemption arc and why both the absence of her arc as well as her deeds independent of it led me to have as strong a negative opinion of her as I do, both as a character within a story and a person within the universe the story is set in. Another question that could be posed, however, and the final thing I wanna address, is whether Abby even needs a redemption arc. After all, there’s a plethora of despicable, morally reprehensible, detestable, and downright loathsome characters in popular media who are widely beloved regardless (we collectively have a soft spot for villains it seems). And I think I’d be much more forgiving if the overall consensus was that yes, Abby is a horrible person, but some people enjoy her regardless because she’s still a well-written character. And if that is your personal stance I would never bash you for that. It only gets exceptionally annoying when the game itself seems to imply that I am a bad person if I do not end up liking Abby. And not for their lack of trying, no, they really tried to a comical degree. This essay is way too long already so I will just quickly outline a fraction of all the cheap and manipulative tactics this game uses to trick us into siding with Abby. a) Play fetch with the dogs that you were forced to kill in earlier parts of the game, don’t you feel bad? No, I do not. The alternative was dying, I did what anyone in that situation would have done. I do not feel bad for protecting Ellie's life. b) Do you hear that sweet Gustavo soundtrack? The one that so many players associate with all the good feelings the first game elicited in them? The one that so well encompasses the “The Last of Us” experience? Yeah, we’ll play it mostly during Abby’s parts of the story and leave it out of Ellie’s (except for the prologue/epilogue), so you feel more inclined to sympathize with Abby. c) Look at how precious Abby is with her kid side character, it’s such a lovely and heartwarming dynamic, reminds me of someone else but I can’t quite put my finger on it. No, we couldn’t have possibly written a different dynamic that doesn’t play on the player’s preexisting emotional associations. How could the audience possibly empathize/connect to a dynamic that isn’t a replica of Joel’s and Ellie’s? d) Look at all those mechanics and weapons in Abby’s gameplay, the strangling people, the shivs, the ladders, the flamethrower/hunting pistol (El Diablo), isn’t it reminiscent of playing as Joel in the first game? Yes, we will continue to shamelessly exploit your emotional investment in characters from the first game (while simultaneously doing everything to thoroughly obliterate said characters you have such a strong connection to). e) Who would have thought? Abby had a dad who was such a good guy, saving Zebras in his spare time (which by the way is so laughable, that’s something a 10-year-old would come up with to make his character sympathetic). Doesn’t really cancel out the fact that he got a hard-on at the chance of killing a 14-year-old child, but he was such a good guy though.

And don’t you love how we once again feel the need to replicate Ellie’s and Joel’s relationship to such a comical degree? Collecting artefacts (cards/coins), bonding over an exotic animal (giraffe/zebra), teasing my daughter about her potential boyfriend (Jesse/Owen), the day trip to a place that becomes like a safe haven to us (museum/aquarium). The main problem I have with these tactics/parallels is that they do not serve any narrative function. They never amount or lead to anything, never play a part in a character’s arc (e.g.: one them reevaluating their opinion of the other because they share similar origins/motivations) or serve to elevate the themes/message during a crucial emotional pay-off. None of these things ever influence the plot, influence a character’s motivation/goals, heightens/showcases/elevates the themes of the story, meaning they do not serve any narrative purpose. And thus, their only remaining function is to manipulate the audience. All these framing devices ultimately reveal that the writers were clearly biased towards one of our two protagonists. They do not hold Ellie and Abby to the same standard. Abby gets her revenge, never aims to forgive Ellie or be the bigger person, and still gets off nearly scott-free, with her life, Lev by her side and the promise of finding the Fireflies. Compared to Ellie who doesn't get her revenge, is expected to be the bigger person by forgiving Abby and still loses everything in the process. Pretty biased for a story that is supposedly about how there's no good or bad side – the writers clearly seem to think there is. Compare this to our introduction to Joel in the first game. One of the first character defining actions we see him take is abandon another family on the side of the road because Joel is the kind of guy that prioritizes taking care of his own. That is who he is. And the game simply presents this to us, never telling us how to feel about it. Similarly, I think it would have worked much better if they made Abby a character defined by clearly setting herself apart from Ellie (instead of ham-fisting all these not-so-subtle parallels in) and letting me make up my own mind about her, instead of constantly and patronizingly forcing me to feel a certain way. If you write a complex, multi-dimensional, compelling character, chances are I will be able to connect to or at least appreciate that character, no matter how villainous, despicable, and loathsome they might be. I personally adore Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones. And she is an absolute c*nt. I actively despise her within the confines of the story because she continuously tears down my other favourite characters in the most horrific ways. Yet I absolutely adore the artistry, talent and creativity put into creating such a complex and intriguing character, so much so that she is my all-time favourite character. I know the difference between liking a character because they're well-written and liking a character because they're a good person. However, “I don’t like this character because they’re a shitty person, no matter how well-written they might be” is a strong enough argument regardless. A character being a horrible person is justification enough for someone to not like that character. If Abby were well-written, the writers would not have felt the need to resort to blatant and transparent emotional manipulation to force us to feel a certain way about her. The fact that such a large portion of the audience still failed to connect to Abby is not a reflection of the audience’s inability to feel empathy for morally grey characters (again, even the most horrendous villains are often beloved, as long as they are well-written), but instead a reflection of how much the writers failed to create a complex, compelling character we would want to root for.

Thought I'd give a quick update on my future essay about Abby, since quite a few people these past few days let me know they're looking forward to that (which makes me so happy honestly^^). You're gonna have to be patient with me though, it's gonna be at least another week. Not only is there sooo many things to include and discuss, but I also wanna make sure that it is as well-structured, well worded and thorough/all-encompassing as I can make it, cause if my last essay ruffled some feathers, then oh boy, I can't wait to release this next one. Thanks for all the support though, it seems quite a few people had a similar view. I received many kind and supportive words as well as some really good criticism, so thanks for that! <3

okay seattle day 3 on ellie’s end was. alright. seattle day 2 absolutely takes the cake but day 3 was alright. kind of boggles my mind that im more attached to jesse as a character than dina because you get so much more time with dina but ellie and jesse’s interactions are actually interesting in comparison adlskgjasldgkjads i am. a dina hater. like a full blown dina hater. it’s okay it’s fine we’re allowed to have opinions. the way the music swells when you’re about to sink the boat is VERY GOOD and i lowkey wish there had been more visual storytelling like how you see all of the bloody rags in the aquarium and are like uh what the fuck. because that was 10/10 cool. also it very much pisses me off when people call playing as abby again an “empathy test” because imo it’s not empathy whatsoever it’s pure logic. like logically speaking ellie and abby are the same. i don’t think that’s rooted in empathy whatsoever. and like if you grow to respect abby or see her side i also don’t think that’s empathy like again to me that’s just logic. also i abhor how it’s implied that like. if you never end up caring about abby then you’re a bad person. like i think it’s very predictable for people to be more attached to joel than they are to abby and if you as the player always hold it against her a little bit that she killed the guy you played as for most all of the first game then like…i don’t know. lowkey it feels like an abuse tactic to say you MUST like abby on an emotional level. like people who hate her and call her awful like i think we can all agree that they’re idiots and that logically speaking her story shows why she took those actions etc etc but the implication of “you must like this person who killed someone you cared a lot about” feels very…not cute to me. like i like her a lot! i think she’s neat! but the idea that someone lacks empathy because they never fully like abby for whatever reason…sounds gross to me. idk if it’s the fan response or the game itself at this point but i think people really watered down the message of how there are many sides bc that means that there can be many opinions! and the implication of “you must see every side” like. it’s okay to favor one side over the other! just because there are many sides doesn’t mean you have to be truly neutral. so yeah. that always irks me. frankly i’d rather hang out with an “i see her side and i respect her but frankly i’ll never get over what she did to joel” person than an “actually joel was a bad guy too and there’s no true villain” type. u feel. does that even make sense. i am also lowkey still pissed that naughty dog made a buff as hell well-rounded female character with a STUNNING PERFORMANCE from laura bailey and then made her a “villain” of sorts. i think that reinforces a lot of stereotypes associated with video games and it does irritate me. especially because when i first saw the story it felt like a slap in the face to be given a female character who hasn’t really had a chance to exist in other forms of media and then slap me in the face with actually she’s going to kill your favorite guy. like frankly that sucked! again i like her as she is i do like her But it felt as if they were dangling something awesome in my face and saying you only get this if you suffer. did not like. also i dislike that they have abby’s dad save animals as a way to communicate that he’s a good guy. that felt ridiculously hamfisted to me and especially when you’re like still not liking abby at that point in the game it feels cheap and eyeroll inducing. i honestly would’ve preferred if he was Just A Guy and then you get more time to hear about how he grapples with what he’s about to do to ellie. also i’ve always thought it was a huge cop out that the game never has abby’s dad say if he would do the same if his daughter were in ellie’s place. the first time i saw it i wanted to scream SO YOU DO UNDERSTAND WHAT JOEL DID YOU ABSOLUTE MORON because i was <3 angry <3 and this time i was more hoping that after abby said if it was me i would want you to do it that her dad would add something along the lines of if it was you i don’t know that i could. because i think that kind of thing both agrees and disagrees with joel’s choice at the end and shows jerry’s humanity simultaneously. it just strikes me as a little ridiculous that he went out of his way to save a zebra but was then super fighting for a chance to kill a teenage girl. you know? and i understand what he said about how all the violence of the fireflies was made right by this one act, i get that, but in the writing/acting/whatever i never really felt that he grappled with what he was doing. i think i would’ve connected with him more as a character if he wasn’t put on such a pedestal. also never in my life will i understand the purpose of mel as a character but that’s a rant for another time

i read your last post about tlou2 and i 100% agree with you. one other thing i don’t understand is how there are fans of the game who genuinely like abby. she’s selfish and she’s done some really awful stuff.. i just don’t understand how people like her. other than torturing and killing joel, they way she bashed dina’s head in and was about to kill her and the way she said “good” when ellie told abby about dina being pregnant, that was so fucked up on her part

Oh, I am currently writing another essay about Abby 👀 And I will talk in length about why her caring for a random child and playing fetch with dogs doesn't actually redeem her... but I wanna word that right before I release it into the world 😅

Joel did not doom humanity (no matter how much the second game wants you to believe that)

To demonize Joel’s decision at the end of the first game (saving his surrogate daughter’s life) you need to bend over backwards and ignore any and all context the first game gave us with regards to who the Fireflies truly are. Because the truth of the matter is: a) they knocked Joel unconscious while he was trying to revive a young girl b) they drugged Ellie immediately to tear her body apart for their needs c) THEY DID NOT ASK ELLIE FOR PERMISSION to give her life for their cause, they didn’t even tell her she would have to die (Ellie was making plans with Joel after the giraffe scene, “Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want. Okay?”, clearly indicating she had no idea she would have to die) d) they did not let Ellie and Joel see each other to say their goodbyes e) they were about to walk Joel out into the wilderness without any of his gear/resources, which during the zombie apocalypse is a certain death sentence f) they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain (remember how Marlene promised Joel guns in return for delivering Ellie?) So even if you show them as much goodwill as possible, the Fireflies are still a bunch of assholes. If the exact opposite had happened, they let Joel go all on good terms and then he suddenly decided to turn around and murder everyone I would have called him a terrible person, but that is not what happened. As it stands, the Fireflies are shady and questionable at best. But it actually gets worse:

a) the procedure that would 100% kill Ellie had an incredibly low success rate (the doctor mentioned in his recording that every previous operation with other test subjects had failed) b) the same recording mentions cerebrospinal fluid having been extracted, meaning they were capable of performing a non-lethal spinal tab, but they’re unable to perform a non-lethal biopsy or craniotomy on Ellie? (this may seem like nit-picking, but actually further solidifies my point about how incompetent the Fireflies/Abby’s dad were/was) c) to add to their immense incompetence, mere hours after receiving Ellie they decide to IMMEDIATELY KILL THE ONLY PERSON KNOWN TO BE IMMUNE as oppose to keeping her alive for as long as possible to run every single test in existence on her. But let's paint a picture of the best case scenario, which is Jerry, the absolute legend that he is, actually manages to get a vaccine out of Ellie, what happens then? a) How are the Fireflies, who are nearly extinct at this point, supposed to MASS PRODUCE and NATIONWIDE DISTRIBUTE a vaccine? That is logistically impossible. b) More than likely, they would use the vaccine as a bargaining chip against FEDRA (granted, this is more a guess than a fact, but to believe they wouldn’t take advantage of the vaccine in the fight for political power against the government they’ve been fighting for years is beyond naïve). But let’s be even more generous: turns out the Fireflies are the most altruistic resistance group to have ever existed, they actually manage to produce and distribute the vaccine into every last corner of the country, everyone is immune. What now? a) You might be immune to spores and bites, but your immunity doesn’t help you when a clicker rips your throat out or a bloater crushes you to death, the infected can still kill you in numerous other ways. b) The faction wars going on are not gonna disappear overnight. WLF and Seraphites will continue to kill each other by the dozens every day, one could even argue that introducing a vaccine into the conflict would only cause things to escalate further. c) Numerous cannibals, hunters and bandits still roam the country, they will not abandon their practices overnight and they are arguably a much bigger threat than the infected to begin with. Just because everyone is immune does not mean that the world returns to sunshine, rainbows, and flowers. To imply that it would, means being simplistic and naive beyond reason. It should be obvious by now that Ellie’s death WOULD NOT HAVE IMPROVED ANYTHING. The chances of actually getting a vaccine are slim to none, the chances of vaccinating everyone are even more dour, and even then the overall situation would not improve much. With such bad prospects I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice my child either. (I am aware that an argument can be made that none of these factors had an impact on Joel’s decision to save Ellie, yet they’re still crucial when making a judgement about the Fireflies/Abby’s dad). To summarize: a) Abby’s dad was incompetent and a horrible person (his conversation with Abby in the second game tells us that he would not be willing to sacrifice his own child, but if it’s someone else’s it’s a-okay for him). b) The Fireflies were a malicious and incompetent terrorist group with messed up morals. c) No, Joel did not doom humanity. Subsequently, Abby’s quest for revenge was not justified because the Fireflies and her dad were never justified in their actions to begin with. And this is only solidified by the second game having to retcon the hell out of all these arguments I just painstakingly illustrated and explained in order to even attempt to have Abby’s motivation be seen as justified. Only one example being how it was clearly established in the first game that they had MULTIPLE doctors in Salt Lake City (Marlene: “The doctors tell me that the cordyceps, the growth inside her, has somehow mutated.”; Ellie: “She said that they have their own little quarantine zone. With doctors there still trying to find a cure.”). Yet in the second game we are told by

Abby that actually no, turns out her dad was the only doctor that could have developed vaccine. And it doesn't take mental gymnastics to see why the second game takes it upon itself to alter most of the context of the first one: to (retroactively!) condemn Joel. HOWEVER, a sequel doesn’t get to pick and choose which established facts from the first entry it builds upon or what it gets to retroactively declare as non-canon only to have it fit their preferred narrative. Quite frankly, that’s bad writing. A sequel, in order to be considered well-written, has to not only be a natural continuation of the events, but has to stay consistent with the characters and the world that were previously set up. And if you have to alter much of the context to make it look like Joel condemned the world, isn't that the most obvious sign that he never actually did? And all of this effort for just one goal: to justify Abby’s quest for revenge and yet it still wasn’t and here’s why: Joel killed her dad in order to PREVENT HIM FROM KILLING HIS DAUGHTER. Abby on the other hand WILFULLY SLOW TORTURED Joel for what appears to be hours, prolonging his death for as long as possible, all for her own gratification (and we won't mention how she went through with it despite Ellie's crying and pleading). And don’t even try to make the argument about Abby wanting “justice”, Joel didn’t torture her dad out of revenge or for his own gratification - this is not justice, this is simply sadistic. A man killing someone who is about to murder their child in semi-self-defense cannot be compared to someone wilfully slow torturing someone to death for their own gratification, like Jesus, I didn’t think I’d have to spell that one out. I am aware that the second game tries to do whatever it can, including retconning their own original story, to paint Ellie and (especially!) Joel as evil. And for a considerable amount of the player base this actually worked, and while I cannot find it in me to condemn them (we all experience stories differently after all), I reserve the right to reject arguments in defense of Abby such as “all people are forced to do bad things during the apocalypse” and “does context even matter?”. If the only way you can defend/justify Abby's actions is to remove all context and nuance, then your reasoning is built on quicksand.

Ellie’s (lack of a) character arc & why the result is an unsatisfying story

Let’s state the obvious: Ellie does not have a character arc in The Last of Us Part 2. A character arc is defined as a gradual transformation or inner journey of a character in response to changing developments in the story. And you may argue that Ellie from the beginning of the game is not the same as the one at the end of the game, and I would agree with you. She went from a woman consumed by revenge (not really but we will stick with that for now) to a woman able to forgive her aggressor and move on. However, there are problems with this supposed inner change on multiple levels. a) the change is not gradual b) the change comes out of nowhere c) the change is not informed by anything I don’t think there’s any need to thoroughly explain the first statement. Ellie has the same goal from the beginning to the very last second before attaining her goal. At no point in the story is she self-reflective, questions her methods, there’s no moral dilemma for her, no inner conflict, no doubt that causes her to put her own actions into a new perspective and possibly change her motivation. From beginning to end she believes to be 100% justified in her goal to kill Abby. Subsequently, if Ellie were actually consumed by revenge, the only logical conclusion to her story would be for her to eventually drown Abby.

Which neatly leads me to the next point: her change comes out of nowhere. The decision to let Abby go, as is implied by the narrative, is triggered by a random, arbitrary flashback of Joel. First of all, the timing here is outright comical. For what reason is she having this specific flashback at this very moment? Sounds like contrived, convenient bs to me to give the appearance that her decision is informed by something (which it isn’t, and we'll get to that in a moment). Second of all, getting a flashback to the most important person in your life that has been brutally murdered in front of you, seeing an image of what could have been and what was unjustly taken from you, is not gonna inspire you to forgive your aggressor. If anything, it would make you more determined and sadistic. And third of all, I hear you all yelling "but it was a flashback to their conversation about forgiveness and that inspired her to forgive Abby." And I have multiple qualms regarding this line of thinking. Number one, forgiving the person you love most in this world for having lied to you cannot be compared to forgiving the person who brutally took said person from you. This actually further accentuates my previous point, this is the person that robbed you of your opportunity for reconciliation. Implying that Ellie's thought process here is „I wanted to forgive Joel, but this person robbed me of any opportunity to, so I have to forgive her” is muddled, nonsensical and quite frankly unrealistic. And number two, is the implication here that this is the first time Ellie has thought back to that conversation? That’s a whole new level of nonsense. She will have reflected on all moments with Joel, including this one, and yet at no point prior to this moment had she considered even the possibility of forgiveness, as I have illustrated earlier. So why now? Very obviously to get a payoff, which was neither set up nor properly developed. And moving on to my last point: it is not informed by anything. I know a lot of players didn’t want Ellie to kill Abby, and even I felt that way at first, albeit presumably for entirely different reasons (I was so drained and removed from the narrative by that point that I only thought to myself "just go home, you psychos"). But upon reflection, I concluded that that would have been an unsatisfying conclusion narratively speaking. Nevertheless, Abby seems to have grown dear to many players. After all, they have spent several hours with her, they have seen her struggle, overcome her obstacles, fight for what she believes to be right. Their feelings towards Abby are informed by the person they have seen her to be and by the experiences they went through with her. Yet Ellie is missing all of that context. She has not been with us throughout our three days in Seattle, she doesn’t know Abby outside of her having horrifically killed Joel and she has not gained any new information that would lead her to change her opinion about her. And so, we have another example of the story making characters do things that are not informed by anything, for the sake of a poor payoff. And since we're talking about characters acting nonsensically, let's talk about the roughly three minutes leading up to Ellie nearly drowning Abby, shall we? Ellie approaches the beach absolutely determined to find and kill Abby (repeatedly murmuring Abby’s name to herself). Yet when she reaches the pillars, she cuts Abby down, letting her free Lev and follows them to the boats, indicating that Ellie has changed her mind, showing pity/empathy upon seeing Abby a mere shadow of her former self. And yet again, we have Ellie acting in a way she never has before. She didn’t have pity for Nora who was coughing her lungs out, or for Jordan who had advocated for letting her live, or for any other innocent WLF or Seraphite that came in between her and killing Abby. But the one person she holds a grudge against to the point of killing hundreds of innocent people without batting an eye, that is the person she is suddenly capable of feeling pity/empathy for? Is it really that surprising that Ellie's actions here feel forced, uncharacteristic, and illogical? But it actually gets worse. In an additional display of Druckmann not knowing how humans work, we have Ellie putting her backpack with all her gear in the boat, looking at her bloody hand and then remembering "Oh yeah, that's the woman who killed Joel. I almost forgot.” And at this point in my playthrough I was laughing out loud. And so, we have Ellie all of sudden determined to kill Abby again, so much so that she is willing to threaten an innocent child’s life (this by the way was the final nail in the coffin for me, they thoroughly obliterated Ellie’s character throughout the entire game, but this goes against the very core of her being). And we know the rest, they fight, Ellie nearly kills Abby but eventually lets her go. To summarize what happened in the three minutes before our big emotional payoff to our 25 hour-long journey of playing this epitome of misery porn: Ellie has 3 - count them 3!!! - changes of heart. Her motivation does a perfect 180 almost every minute. This is not how people work! That’s lazy, contrived beyond believe, and borderline comical levels of writing, because Druckmann prioritized having a final boss battle on a beach over organic, coherent, and logical storytelling (but I guess it was worth it for the goddamn visuals). However, what’s most infuriating is that there are such easy fixes if one only thinks about it for more than two minutes that could erase nearly all for the major issues I just illustrated while maintaining the plot points of the two fighting on a beach and Ellie letting Abby go. If we have Ellie walk to the beach immediately, finding Abby there untying the boat (Lev nearly passed out in the boat, Ellie not seeing him) and she then attacks Abby, immediately we have erased two of Ellie’s changes of heart, she remains consistent in her goals/motivation, not jumping back and forth between two extremes. The two women fight much like we see it in the game, and then as Ellie is about to finish it, we hear Lev calling out to Abby. And there we have our motivation for Ellie to not kill her. Not because she gets a random, convenient flashback, not because she forgives Abby (Abby has done nothing to earn Ellie’s forgiveness), not because Abby has earned her redemption, but because Ellie cannot find it in her to put an innocent child through the pain Abby has put her through. Because at the end of the day, Ellie’s hatred for Abby does not outweigh her capacity for compassion and empathy for those deserving of it (a core characteristic of hers that was established in the first game). Because Ellie would rather let an individual live that is undeserving of it than cause the same pain she was put through to an innocent child that is undeserving of it. Granted, if we were to go with this ending, we would still have to build towards it properly and therefore would have to tweak the rest of the game, mainly by showing Ellie being self-reflective, merciful towards innocents, and even doubtful about her goals at times to make her final decision informed by prior developments in order to have the character arc actually be a gradual transformation leading to a logical conclusion. I have been a writer for nearly 4 years now, which means I am in no way an expert, or the most creatively talented person around and yet I would argue that this ending would be much more satisfying to most players than the alternative we were presented with. Because as it stands, none of our actions or decisions (and yes that is something important to consider when we are working within the medium of video games), or Ellie’s for that matter, lead up to this conclusion. The conclusion to this story, the final moment, the big emotional payoff hinges on a random flashback, not on any other developments that previously occurred in the story. Subsequently rendering all of the 25 hours entirely pointless, none of it had an influence on the finale, none of it mattered narratively speaking. So, is it even a surprise that many found this to be dissatisfying? I noticed a few people who are fond of Abby accusing people feeling differently of having too much of an emotional bias or even going as far as to say they are less emotionally intelligent. This is problematic for two reasons, a) different people have different reasons for disliking Ellie’s final choice. Some still hate Abby as much as in the beginning, others feel drained and indifferent, and others still feel similarly to how I feel in that it’s mainly narratively dissatisfying. And b) the same story can have a different effect on any amount of people (otherwise, we would have settled the discussion about what the greatest movie all of time is long ago). My point being, that no matter how you feel about this particular story you are 100% justified in feeling this way, and yes that includes people that by the end of the game still hate Abby just as much as they did the moment she bashed Joel’s skull in. That does not necessarily have to be personal bias, more often than not it’s the ability to see through the storytelling techniques used, rendering them mostly ineffective for these people (and I include myself in this). I wanted Ellie to kill Abby not because I was unable to empathize with her or couldn’t see past my own personal bias, but because that would have been the logical, narratively satisfying conclusion to this specific story.

Me with the entirety of the AFTG series

you know how it is

Pls my wife may we get some desperate lesbian content about friend (wife) reader ignoring abby after what she did to joel because she was scared, so abby just gets all teary eyed and just starts to try to please her sexually

What We Bury in Silence - abby anderson x reader

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: MDNI 18+ Explicit sexual content (fingering r receiving), themes of trauma and grief, emotional and psychological tension, references to violence and loss (Joel’s death), guilt, anger, and forgiveness struggles, raw emotional vulnerability and confession

summary: You and Abby were close—more than friends, though no one dared to say it aloud. But after Joel's death, you went quiet. Abby thought you'd never forgive her. That silence breaks one night when guilt, rage, and buried desire finally ignite.

masterlist

This story contains sexual content—please read with care. You are responsible for what you consume online.

You hadn’t said a word to her in weeks. Not since Jackson. Not since the blood. Not since you found out what she did.

Abby thought she'd be ready for the aftermath—Joel’s face haunting her dreams, her name spat like venom in town. But your silence? That hit deeper than any wound she’d ever taken.

You avoided her at base. Eyes down. Steps sharp. Not a glance. Not even hatred—just absence. It made her sick.

She knocked tonight anyway.

“Just talk to me,” Abby said through your door, voice low and wrecked. “Please.”

Nothing.

Abby stood there for minutes. She turned to leave—then froze when the door clicked open behind her.

Your eyes met. And it was like the air shattered. You were still wearing his jacket.

“Why are you here?” you asked, voice even but barely holding together.

Abby swallowed hard. “I didn’t come for a fight. I just…” Her voice cracked. “I miss you.”

You didn’t speak. Just stepped aside. Let her in like a storm you were too tired to fight.

She lingered by the table, arms stiff by her sides. “You won’t look at me,” she said. “You won’t yell. Won’t curse me out. Just… nothing.”

You sat on the couch. “What do you want from me, Abby?”

The name was a blade on your tongue.

She moved closer—slow, uncertain. “I want to explain.”

You let her. And she told you everything. Her dad. The Fireflies. Joel’s choice. Her own rage. When she finished, the silence was worse than before.

You stood. Crossed the room. She flinched when your hand brushed her cheek.

“I hate what you did,” you whispered. “I hate that I still want you.”

And something in her shattered.

The first kiss was desperate—salted with tears, teeth, regret. You shoved her back against the wall, hands tangling in her hair, lips fierce and unforgiving.

Abby groaned, fingers digging into your waist like she was scared you’d disappear. You bit her lip hard. She moaned.

“This doesn’t fix anything,” you hissed.

“I know,” she breathed, eyes dark. “But let me try anyway.”

You didn’t stop her when she sank to her knees. She tugged your pants down slowly, reverently, like she was asking for permission with every touch.

“I’m sorry,” she said against your inner thigh. “I’d take it back if I could. I’d undo all of it.”

You didn’t answer, but you didn’t push her away either. Her mouth was soft. Skilled. Every flick of her tongue was a plea for forgiveness.

You gasped, fisting her hair, thighs trembling.

“Fuck—Abby—”

She moaned at the sound of her name. You could feel her trembling too. She didn’t stop until you were wrecked—legs shaking, breath gone, body arched against the guilt and the heat between you.

And when you pulled her up and kissed her again, she cried into your mouth. You dragged her to bed. Tore her clothes off. Took your time making her fall apart—over and over again.

The air was thick with sweat, shame, and the unspoken truth that this might never be enough.

But it was something. It was real.

You woke tangled in her arms, her face buried in your neck like she couldn’t bear to let you go. You watched the sunrise in silence.

Then finally, softly: “I still don’t forgive you.”

Abby nodded against your skin. “I know.”

You turned to face her, touched her jaw.

“But I think I want to try.”

Nora told you exactly what she did. The brutality. The violence. You were disgusted despite knowing why she did it.

You don’t want to let her in. Not really. But the moment the door clicks shut behind you, every sharp edge of your silence softens—just a little.

She stands there, all tension and regret, like she’s trying to hold herself together for both of you. Maybe she’s the only one doing any holding right now.

“I didn’t come to make it worse,” Abby says, voice low, raw. “I just need you to hear me.”

You look away. “You don’t get to ask that. Not after everything.”

Her eyes flick down. “I know. I’m sorry. More than you can imagine.”

"You killed a girl's father Infront of her. You made her watch"

"He killed my dad"

Something twists inside you. You want to yell, to tell her to leave. But you just swallow and keep looking at the floor.

“I hate what you did,” you finally say, voice steady but cold. “And I hate that I still want you. It makes me sick.”

Abby’s breath catches. She takes a step closer, but you don’t flinch.

“why are you still here?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.

She swallows, eyes searching yours like she’s trying to find a place to land. “Because I’m not ready to lose you.”

You don’t move. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing you crack. But inside, the walls are trembling.

“Why should I believe you?” you whisper, voice rough like gravel. “After everything you did, everything you took from her? Violence doesn't solve anything”

She steps closer, and you feel the heat of her breath. “Because I’m drowning in the same guilt. I carry it every second. Joel’s face, your silence... I don’t deserve you.”

You close your eyes for a moment, swallowing the lump in your throat. The truth is, you’ve missed her—the way she looked at you, fierce and broken all at once. But that only makes the ache worse.

“Maybe I want to hate you,” you admit, voice barely audible. “Maybe I want you to hurt like I do.”

Abby’s hands reach out slowly, trembling. “Then let me in. Let me be the reason you don’t have to carry it alone.”

Your heart is pounding, a wild, desperate rhythm that betrays your cold words. You push her hand away, but your body betrays you—your fingers twitch, wanting to touch her.

Her lips brush your neck, soft and tentative, and the ache spirals into something darker, something desperate.

You catch her mouth with yours, rough and urgent, like you’re trying to reclaim the pieces of yourself she holds hostage. Your hands thread through her hair, pulling her closer as your lips clash.

The taste of her—salt and something bittersweet—makes your knees weak. You break the kiss, gasping. “This doesn’t fix anything,” you choke out.

Abby’s voice is a whisper against your skin. “No. But maybe it’s a start.”

Her hands explore, tentative but hungry, trailing under your shirt like she’s memorizing every inch. You let go of some of the bitterness, the anger. Let the heat flood in and drown the cold for just a moment.

And when she sinks to her knees, the guilt and desire twist into a single, fierce need that can’t be denied.

Your breath hitches as she lowers herself, hands trembling but steady, like she’s asking for forgiveness with every touch. You don’t stop her—not because you forgive her yet, but because a part of you aches for this connection, this dangerous comfort.

Her mouth finds your skin, soft and worshipful, tracing a path that burns and soothes at the same time. You close your eyes, biting your lip to hold back a shudder.

“I don’t deserve this,” you whisper, voice rough.

Her hands clutch your hips tighter. “Maybe not. But I need this. Need you.”

You grip the back of her head, pulling her closer, desperate for something real in the chaos of guilt and rage. Her tongue flicks against your skin, and it’s like a spark igniting a wildfire beneath your ribs. You’re trembling, torn between pushing her away and pulling her deeper.

When she finally parts your clothing, her fingers brush over your skin like a promise — fragile but fierce. You gasp, caught between shame and want.

“Please,” she breathes, voice thick with need and regret.

You tremble but don’t say no.

Her mouth moves with reverence, worshipping every inch, every scar, every broken piece. You’re lost in the sensation, in the desperate heat that roars through you.

Your hands clutch her hair, pulling her up into a harsh, ragged kiss.

“I’m scared,” you confess, voice breaking. “Scared that I’ll never be okay. That I’ll never forgive.”

She kisses you harder. “Then I’ll keep fighting. For you. For us.”

The room hums with tension, desire, and the fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, you can find a way through the wreckage — together.

Your breath is ragged, heart pounding like it wants to break free from your chest. Every touch from Abby feels like fire and ice all at once—burning away the walls you built, but freezing the parts of you that still ache with pain. You pull back slightly, eyes searching hers, desperate for something to hold onto.

“I’ve been so angry,” you whisper, voice raw and cracked. “Angry at you, at him, at myself. Angry because I thought if I stayed furious, I could protect what’s left of me.”

Her hands tremble as they cup your face. “I never wanted to take that from you. I wanted to be the one you could lean on, even if you didn’t believe it.”

Tears sting your eyes. You don’t wipe them away. Letting them fall feels like admitting you’re human—broken, hurting, but still here.

“I hate what you did,” you confess, voice breaking, “but I hate carrying this anger even more. It’s like poison, and I’m tired of being sick.”

Abby leans in, her lips brushing yours with such gentleness it makes your chest ache. “Then let me help you heal. Let me be the cure, even if it takes forever.”

You close your eyes and let yourself believe it—for just a moment, you let the weight of the past fall away.

When you open them again, you’re quiet but sure.

“I forgive you,” you say, barely above a whisper. “Not because it’s easy. Not because I forget. But because I don’t want this anger to own me anymore.”

Abby’s breath catches. She pulls you close, arms wrapping around you like she’s never letting go.

In that moment, broken and whole all at once, you realize forgiveness isn’t a clean slate. It’s a choice. A hard, painful, beautiful choice to let go and try again.

And you’re ready to take it.

The morning light filters softly through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room where you lie tangled in Abby’s arms. It’s quiet, but it’s not empty anymore.

You trace lazy circles on her back, feeling the steady rise and fall of her breath. The weight of yesterday’s confessions still lingers, but it’s lighter now—less a burden, more a fragile thread holding you both together.

You don’t pretend the past is gone. You know the scars remain, invisible to others but etched deep inside. But for the first time, those scars don’t feel like walls. They feel like part of the map—proof of how far you’ve come.

Abby shifts, resting her forehead against yours. “Thank you,” she murmurs.

You smile softly, heart swelling with something you thought was lost—hope.

“Thank you for not giving up.”

You don’t know what the future holds. Maybe there will be more pain, more fights, more moments where forgiveness feels impossible.

But right now, wrapped in this fragile peace, you decide it’s enough.

It’s enough to try. To live. To heal.

Together.

Abby is so hottttttt

I want to kiss her pretty little face after sex with her and telling her that shes pretty and sweet 🥺 and i want her to make me stay in bed even if we have patrol and being all clingy and cute 🥺

#need her

Stay in bed - abby anderson x reader

hi anon! this deadass made me sigh out of singleness... i hope you enjoy:)

Pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: none

Summary: in which you stayed in bed

masterlist

The early morning sun filtered through the gaps in the blinds, casting golden stripes across Abby's bare back as she lay on her side, one muscled arm tucked under the pillow, the other draped across your waist. You were tangled in the warmth of her, limbs lazy and heavy, breaths slow. The blanket clung to your hips, your skin still humming from last night’s closeness.

You hadn’t meant to stay up so late. Patrol had been long and cold, but Abby had pulled you close the second you got back—no words, just warmth and need. The way she kissed you last night, with a mixture of urgency and tenderness, had left you aching in the best way.

And now, in the quiet hush of dawn, you traced the curve of her shoulder with your fingertips, marveling at how someone so strong could feel so gentle.

“I know you’re awake,” you whispered against her skin, your lips brushing just beneath her ear.

Abby groaned, pulling you tighter into her. “I don’t want to get up. Not if it means leaving this.”

You smiled, heart fluttering. “We have patrol in an hour.”

Her arm curled more securely around you. “Fuck patrol.”

You laughed softly, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. “That’s not very responsible of you, Anderson.”

Her head tilted up enough to look at you with sleep-heavy eyes. “What are they gonna do? Fire me?” She smirked, then softened when she saw your flushed cheeks, your thumb grazing her jaw. “You’re too pretty. You make it hard to care about anything else.”

Your breath caught. Abby didn’t always say things like that—not out loud. She was more action than words, more presence than poetry. But when she did speak like this, it was honest, and it hit you deep.

“I want to kiss your pretty little face forever,” you murmured, echoing the sentiment you’d once written anonymously in your journal. You leaned in and did just that—soft kisses at the corner of her mouth, down the curve of her jaw. “You’re so sweet when you’re like this.”

Abby’s hand slid under your shirt—her shirt, really—resting just at your waist. “You’re clingy,” she teased, but her voice was laced with affection. “I like it."

You laughed again, curling up closer, hiding your face in her chest. “You started it. You’re the one who pulled me in the second we walked through the door.”

“That’s different,” she said, kissing the top of your head. “You looked cold.”

“And now?”

“Now you look like mine,” she whispered.

There was a long silence after that. The kind that felt sacred. The kind that didn’t need filling.

Eventually, you felt her shift and sighed as she tried to move. “Nooo, stay.”

Abby chuckled and collapsed back onto the bed with exaggerated drama. “Fine. But just five more minutes.”

“Fifteen,” you bargained, arms locking around her waist.

She kissed your forehead. “Fifteen minutes. Then we do something irresponsible, like skip patrol and make breakfast naked.”

Your laugh turned into a snort. “We’ll get arrested.”

“Worth it,” she muttered sleepily, eyes already drifting closed again.

You stayed there, wrapped up in her, heart full. Maybe the world was still broken in a thousand different ways, but here, in this bed, you had a moment of peace. And Abby. That was enough.

Abby Anderson Masterlist

main master list

about me!

Stories𓂃⋆.˚

- what we bury in silence: You and Abby were close—more than friends, though no one dared to say it aloud. But after Joel's death, you went quiet. Abby thought you'd never forgive her. That silence breaks one night when guilt, rage, and buried desire finally ignite.

- look at us now: Caught between a turbulent past with Ellie and a slowly blossoming future with Abby, you're forced to confront everything you thought you knew about love, loyalty, and healing.

- stateside: After months apart, Abby finally comes home—but the distance hasn’t only been physical. As old feelings resurface and tension brews, you’re both forced to confront what was left unsaid before she left.

- new magic wand: Abby has never been good at letting things go. And she sure as hell isn't letting go of you.

- stay in bed: in which you stayed in bed

- mrs. postman: in which you fell for the post lady.

series𓂃⋆.˚

Milf Abby

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Baby

part 1 part 2 part 3

drabbles, hcs and short stories𓂃⋆.˚

gamer abby (hcs)

ceo abby (hcs)

Headcannons: dad's best friend!abby anderson x reader

masterlist

☆ Abby is your dad’s closest friend, someone who’s always been around but never really close to you. You were just the kid in the background—until one day, you weren’t.

☆ She saw it change in real time. You grew up. You started speaking with confidence, dressing differently, looking her in the eye. And it scared the hell out of her.

☆ She resisted—tried to ignore the way your laugh lingered in her mind or the way you’d look at her like you knew. But she couldn’t stop noticing you.

☆ The first time it happened, it was a mistake. A late-night conversation on the porch after your dad went to bed. A shared bottle of whiskey. A too-long stare. Your hand brushing hers.

☆ She kissed you. Hard. Desperate. She pulled away like she'd been burned, pacing, swearing under her breath, apologizing.

☆ You told her you wanted it. She told you it couldn’t happen again. It did.

☆ She never stays the night. Never kisses you in the daylight. Never looks at you for too long in public.

☆ You sneak around like it’s life or death. Quick meetups. Locked doors. Lies stacked on lies. Sometimes it makes you sick with adrenaline. Sometimes it makes you cry.

☆ Abby keeps trying to end it—but she always comes back. She’s addicted to you, even if she won’t admit it.

☆ Abby is riddled with guilt. You’re too young. You’re your father's daughter. She’s betraying someone who trusts her with his life. But she wants you—needs you—in a way that’s primal.

☆ She hates herself for it, but you’re the only one who sees her vulnerability. When she’s with you, she lets the walls fall.

☆ You hate the hiding. Hate pretending like she’s just your dad’s friend when she’s the one who’s memorized the way your body moves and how you like your coffee.

☆ She’s older, bigger, more experienced—and sometimes, she uses that. When you’re bratty or push her buttons, she’ll pin you against a wall, palm flat beside your head, whispering, “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

☆ But you’re not powerless. You know how to get to her. How to sit in her lap like it’s innocent. How to call her “Miss Anderson” in a mocking tone just to watch her unravel.

☆ Every moment between you is coiled like a spring—either about to snap into intimacy or explode in a fight.

☆ She hates seeing you with people your age. If you flirt with someone at a party, she corners you in the hallway with fire in her eyes: “You really want to play that game, sweetheart?”

☆ She doesn’t call you hers, but she touches you like you are. Marks you where no one can see. Leaves bruises on your hips and hickeys on your inner thighs like she’s branding you.

☆ When someone else starts showing interest in you, she snaps. Shows up at your apartment. Kisses you like punishment.

☆ Every sound in the hallway makes you freeze when you're together. Every time your dad mentions Abby, your stomach flips.

☆ One close call nearly ends everything—your dad comes home early while she’s still there. You hide in your room, half-dressed, while she plays it cool like she hasn’t just kissed you breathless.

☆ After that, she disappears for days. No calls. No texts. Then she shows up in the middle of the night, eyes red, whispering “I can’t stay away.”

☆ There’s something sacred in the way she holds you in silence. Like you’re the only thing keeping her sane. The way she lets you trace the scars on her back. The way she murmurs your name like a confession.

☆ Sometimes she sneaks into your bed and stays until dawn, just holding you. You wake up to her running her fingers through your hair like she’s memorizing the way you breathe.

☆ She never says "I love you" out loud. But you hear it in the way she says your name. In the way she lingers after kissing you goodbye, her hand hesitating at the doorknob.

☆ The secrecy starts to eat at you. You want her in the open. You want her to fight for you. But she’s scared—scared of destroying your family, of losing everything.

☆ You fight. She pushes you away. You think it’s over. But then she shows up at your door during a storm, soaked, shaking, whispering, “I’d rather burn for this than live without you.”

☆ That night, you realize she loves you—but she doesn’t know how to love you in the light.

☆ There are only two options: get caught… or leave.

☆ Abby starts talking about running away. Not in a romantic way—more like survival. “If he finds out, it’s over for me. For us. I’d lose you both.”

☆ You tell her you’d follow her. She tells you not to say things like that if you don’t mean them.

☆ By day, she’s the picture of loyalty: dependable, trustworthy Abby Anderson—the friend your dad relies on, the one who helps fix the roof and grills on weekends like she’s part of the family.

☆ But by night? She’s slipping into your room when no one’s watching. Holding you like she’s starved. Kissing you like she’s trying to press her soul into your mouth.

☆ She hates the mirror lately. Hates seeing herself knowing what she’s doing. But the only time she doesn’t feel like a monster is when she’s buried in your arms.

☆ She cooks for you in secret. Not well, but she tries—burnt grilled cheese, bland pasta. You eat it anyway, legs wrapped around her hips at the kitchen counter.

☆ She keeps a drawer of your things in her apartment: a sweater, a scrunchie, a book you left behind. She told herself it was just until you took them back—but she likes seeing pieces of you there.

☆ You steal a pair of her dog tags. Wear them under your clothes like a talisman. She notices, and that night, she makes you wear nothing but them.

☆ You have a code phrase—“Are you free to talk?”—that means “I need you. Now.”

☆ You meet in quiet places: her truck parked on the cliffside at night, an old garage your dad doesn’t use, hotel rooms under fake names. Every touch is frantic. Every goodbye, heartbreaking.

☆ After every time, she tells you it’s the last. She never means it. You both pretend like the next time won’t happen, even though it always does.

☆ She hid her jealousy well—until she doesn’t. If someone else touches you, even innocently, she goes cold. Her voice sharpens. Her eyes darken. Later, she drags you into a quiet room and kisses you like she owns you.

“No one else gets to see you like this.”

“You shouldn’t be showing yourself to anyone but me.”

☆ It’s twisted, and it turns you on. But it scares her. She’s never felt this out of control before, and it makes her want to run—or hold on tighter.

☆ After she touches you, there’s always a pause. A moment of silence where she looks at you like she’s doing something unforgivable. Like she’s already lost you.

☆ Sometimes she sits at the edge of the bed, head in her hands. “I shouldn’t want this,” she whispers. “I shouldn’t want you.”

You crawl into her lap, cup her face, and say, “Then don’t make me beg.”

And that’s all it takes—her restraint shatters.

☆ She knows every inch of you—where to touch, where you’re ticklish, what makes you melt. But it’s not just sex. It’s the way her hands tremble when she unzips your hoodie. The way her breath catches when you say her name like a secret.

Her voice drops when she’s turned on. Low, rough, almost pleading.

“You have no idea what you do to me.”

“Tell me you’re mine. Even if it’s just here.”

☆ She can’t be soft in public, so she’s overwhelmingly soft in private. She holds you like a secret she’ll die to keep. Kisses your forehead. Tells you she dreams of a version of the world where this isn’t wrong.

☆ You want more. You start slipping up. Touching her shoulder when your dad’s in the room. Smiling at her too long. She panics when you get bold.

“You’re going to ruin this,” she hisses one day when you almost kiss her goodbye. “Someone will find out.”

“Then let them,” you challenge.

She grabs your wrist. “Don’t ever say that again.”

☆ It starts to hurt—loving someone in the shadows. The secrets eat at you. You wonder if she’ll ever really choose you.

☆ You tell her: “I want a life with you. I want to hold your hand in public. I want people to know you’re mine.”

☆ Abby’s voice breaks. “I want that too. But I want your dad to look me in the eye without seeing betrayal. I want to deserve you first.”

☆ A near-discovery shakes everything. Maybe someone sees you leaving her place at dawn. Maybe your dad borrows her phone and sees your contact.

☆ Abby freaks out. Cuts contact. Says it’s over. You cry. She watches from a distance, agonizing over it.

☆ Then, weeks later—she shows up at your door again. Hands shaking. Heart bare. “I tried. I can’t stop. I need you.”

☆ She finally asks you to leave with her. No more hiding. No more pretending.

“Let’s go somewhere no one knows us. I’ll build us a life. Just say the word.”

Can you do smt for abby with the song new magic wand by Tyler the creator?

I love her puppy eyes and muscles so much 🥺

Also, i love obsessive women so

New Magic Wand - abby anderson x reader

hi anon!! fictional obsessive women are so hot ughhhhhhhh. i hope you enjoy:) also abby in this pic??? i love her.

this story is based off the song new magic wand by tyler the creator. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: dark themes, obsession, violence, psychological tension

Summary: Abby has never been good at letting things go. And she sure as hell isn't letting go of you.

Masterlist

You met Abby during a supply run in Jackson. Just two soldiers assigned to the same patrol, nothing special. But there was something about you—your laugh, maybe. The way you didn’t flinch when she barked orders. The way you looked at the world like it hadn’t completely fallen apart.

That was two months ago.

Now, she watches you from the shadows.

She doesn’t mean to. At first, it was casual. Coincidental. A walk past the stables. Lingering near the training yard. Asking around. But then she saw you with someone else. That girl—Mia, from the medbay. Too close. Touching your wrist. Whispering.

Abby’s jaw locked so tight her molars ached.

She waited. Quiet. Calculating.

She told herself you weren’t hers. But that wasn’t true. Not really.

You were hers. You just didn’t know it yet.

“She’s gonna be dead, I just got a magic wand.”

You started noticing strange things.

Your door left slightly ajar when you knew you closed it. The sweater you thought you lost suddenly reappearing on your cot. A shadow behind you in the glass of the dining hall. At first, you brushed it off. The world was full of paranoia and trauma—maybe it was just stress.

Then Mia disappeared.

She never showed up to her shift. Her bunk was untouched. No note. No signs of struggle.

You asked questions. Abby watched you from across the rec room as you begged the search party to look further. No one had the energy to care. People disappeared sometimes.

But Abby cared.

Abby had taken care of the problem.

She didn't use a "magic wand"—just her hands. Just enough pressure. She didn’t scream. Abby was proud of that. No mess. No loose ends.

She thought you'd notice her now. You didn’t.

You started pulling away. Spending more time alone. Your smile—her favorite thing about you—began to dim. She hated that. Hated that you didn’t know she was trying to protect you.

Abby tried to get closer. Leaving you small things. A can of your favorite peaches. A leather glove you mentioned needing. You thanked her, politely.

But not the way she wanted.

“I need to get her out the picture, she’s really fucking up my frame.”

Abby started dreaming about you. In those dreams, you kissed her like you meant it. You let her hold you. You begged her to stay. Woke up to soaked sheets and a clenched jaw.

Reality was uglier. You barely looked at her now. You were scared—she could see it in your eyes. That made her blood boil and her stomach twist.

It was that fucking patrol leader next.

Sergio.

Too friendly. Too smug. Too willing to walk next to you, show you how to hold a better grip on your rifle.

Abby followed him. Took his knee out behind the stables. Broke his arm and left him in the snow. Said she found him that way.

It wasn’t about jealousy, she told herself. It was about clarity. You and her—there was no room for anyone else in the picture.

They were ruining the shot. The life she could see so clearly with you.

She’d fix it.

“I wanna be found, passenger in your car.”

You knew it by the fourth disappearance. This wasn’t just coincidence. Someone was doing this.

Someone was doing this for you.

That’s when you found the journal.

Hidden under the floorboard in the old stables. Pages and pages of your name. Drawings of your face. A lock of your hair taped to the corner of a page. Abby’s messy handwriting scrawled beneath every entry:

“I saw her smile today. I think she smiled at me.”

“She wore her green coat. It suits her. She looked cold—I should bring her another.”

“She looked at her again. I want to rip her throat out.”

“She's mine. She just doesn't understand yet.”

Your breath caught. She was watching you. All this time.

“You got a new friend, it hurts. I’ll make you one, I’ll make you one.”

You confronted her. Cornered her in the greenhouse, where no one else went anymore.

"Abby," you said, voice trembling. "What the fuck did you do?"

She didn’t deny it. Just looked at you like she always had—like you were the sun burning through her skull.

“I protected you,” she said. “They didn’t deserve you. None of them did.”

“You killed them,” you whispered.

She stepped closer. You flinched. That hurt her—cut deep.

“I’d do it again,” Abby murmured, voice soft and low. “I’d do anything for you.”

You should’ve run. You should’ve screamed.

But something in her eyes—something fractured and sincere—rooted you in place.

She reached out, calloused fingers brushing your cheek. You didn’t move.

"You don’t have to be scared," she whispered. "I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want you to see. We can be good, you and me."

And despite everything—the deaths, the obsession, the blood on her hands—your heart stuttered.

Because some broken, desperate part of you wanted to believe her.

Wanted to believe you could be loved that completely.

“Please don’t leave me now.”

Abby kept you in a cabin miles from Jackson. Safe. Stocked. Secluded. A place where no one could come between you.

She made you tea. Lit the fireplace. Spoke softly. Touched you like you were made of glass.

You tried to run once. She found you hours later, frostbitten and sobbing.

She carried you back. Wrapped you in blankets. Kissed your forehead.

“You don’t get it,” she murmured against your skin. “You’re all I have left.”

And eventually...you stopped fighting. Let her touch linger. Let her hold you at night.

You told yourself it was survival. But when she kissed you the first time, your lips parted.

Not in protest.

But in surrender.

stateside- abby anderson x reader

this story is based off the song state side by pinkpantheress, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your ideas:)

Warnings: Jealousy, emotional repression, post-situationship confusion, cursing, mentions of hookup culture, kissing, emotional vulnerability

Summary: After months apart, Abby finally comes home—but the distance hasn’t only been physical. As old feelings resurface and tension brews, you’re both forced to confront what was left unsaid before she left.

Setting: Modern College AU

Masterlist

You weren’t her girlfriend. Not officially. You weren’t even sure what you were.

Somewhere between a secret, a comfort, and a goddamn heartbeat.

Late-night car rides. Unspoken rules. Her breath at your neck when the world went quiet—but no hand-holding in public, no posting you on stories, no “this is my girl.”

You told yourself you were okay with it.

You weren’t.

So when Abby left for her out-of-state internship with no real goodbye—just a message that read:

“Headed out. Don’t wait up.”

—it cracked something open in you. And three months later, you still hadn’t sealed it shut.

It wasn’t just the photos (though they burned.)

The ones where she stood beside that medical student—Isla. Bright smile. Tank top. Hand on Abby’s shoulder like it belonged there.

It was the silence.

No texts. No late-night calls. No “I miss you.”

And yet every time you closed your eyes, you could feel her:

The weight of her hand on your thigh in the car.

The way she pulled you close but never close enough.

You tried to move on.

Hooked up once with someone too sweet and too soft.

But it wasn’t her. And the silence only got louder.

You found out she was back from some guy at a party.

“Didn’t you and Abby Anderson used to mess around?” he asked lazily, red cup in hand.

You froze. “What?”

“She’s back in town. Thought I saw her near the gym.”

The air shifted around you. Your ears rang. You left the party early.

Buzzing with resentment and longing, palms sweaty from the weight of things unsaid.

You didn’t text her.

But you stared at her contact all night, whispering to yourself, don’t be that girl. And then you were.

The next day, she was just there—in the café near campus, hoodie loose over her frame, head bent over her laptop.

You froze when you saw her. She looked up. Blinked. Took an AirPod out.

“Hey,” she said, like no time had passed. Like you weren’t breaking.

You sat across from her before you could change your mind. “You’re back.”

“Tuesday.”

You looked at your hands. “No text?”

She winced. “Didn’t think you’d want one.”

“You left without saying goodbye.”

“I didn’t think I deserved one,” she said, softer.

That shut you up. Because deep down… maybe she was right.

You left together. Neither of you said it out loud—but somehow, you ended up in her car. The way you always used to.

Same quiet roads. Same faint music.

Same ache in your chest.

You turned to her. “You seeing someone?”

She hesitated. “No. You?”

You shook your head. “Tried. Didn’t work.”

The air between you pulsed.

“Why didn’t you call?” you asked.

She tightened her grip on the wheel. “Because I knew if I did… I wouldn’t stop.”

Silence.

You stared ahead. “I would’ve answered.”

She pulled over.

“I missed you,” she admitted. “More than I should’ve.”

You didn’t know if it was closure or a beginning. But you kissed her anyway.

You slept in her bed that night.

She didn’t touch you—not at first. Just handed you an old hoodie, let you curl under her blanket, and sat down next to you like she was scared to break something fragile.

You wanted to ask her what this meant. If this was her way of coming back.

Instead, you whispered, “I missed your room.”

And she whispered back, “I missed your voice.”

That was enough—for now.

Over the next week, you kept pretending it was nothing.

Texts. “Wanna grab food?” “You still awake?” “Need a ride?”

But it wasn’t casual. Not really.

Not when she looked at you like that.

Not when her fingers brushed yours and lingered.

Not when she flinched every time someone else mentioned Isla.

You weren’t hers. She wasn’t yours.

But you were still something.

And that something was slowly burning the both of you alive.

The breaking point came on a Friday night.

You were at a mutual friend’s place, trying to play it cool. Abby walked in late—messy bun, grey t-shirt, muscle memory and heartbreak wrapped in denim.

And Isla was there too.

They didn’t touch. But she stood close. Laughed too loud. Looked too often.

Your heart fell into your stomach.

Abby caught your eye across the room. You held her gaze for one full second before walking out.

You didn’t even make it halfway down the street before she caught up.

“Wait,” she called.

You spun on her. “What are we doing, Abby?”

She blinked.

“I can’t keep pretending we don’t matter,” you said, voice cracking. “I can’t keep acting like this is casual when it never was.”

Silence.

Her jaw clenched. “You think I don’t want you?”

“I think you’re too scared to admit you do.”

That hit something deep.

She stepped forward, crowding into your space. “You’re wrong.”

“Then say it.”

She grabbed your face in both hands. “I want you.”

Your breath caught.

“God help me, I want you,” she said, forehead pressed to yours. “I left because I thought I’d ruin it. Because I’m not soft, and I don’t know how to be good at this—but I never stopped thinking about you.”

You kissed her like you were drowning.

And this time, she kissed you back like she meant it.

They don’t fix it all at once.

But they start over—this time with honesty. This time with intention.

No more hiding. No more maybe.

Just two people learning how to love each other out loud—even if it scares them.

Headcannons: ceo!abby anderson x fem!reader

masterlist

☆ Abby is the kind of CEO who commands a room the moment she walks in. Tailored suits, sharp jawline, low voice that cuts through the noise. People either fear her or fall in love with her—there’s no in-between.

☆ She didn’t inherit the company; she built her reputation through blood, sweat, and an iron will. Everyone knows the rumors: military background, strategic acquisitions, never smiles unless she’s already won.

☆ In meetings, she’s precise, no-nonsense. Employees scramble to meet deadlines because the idea of disappointing her is terrifying—but deep down, they respect her. She’s fair. She rewards loyalty, effort, and genius when she sees it.

☆ You work in one of the departments she rarely pays attention to—PR, internal communications, or perhaps you're an executive assistant brought in as a temp to cover someone’s maternity leave.

☆ She notices you because you’re not intimidated by her. You’re polite but blunt, you don’t fawn over her like others do. And when she gives you a task, you complete it perfectly—without needing a follow-up.

☆ The first time she really looks at you is when you correct a minor detail in one of her public statements. She stares at you for a beat too long, then nods. That’s when it all started.

☆ Abby is all control—she’s used to people submitting, obeying. But you? You don’t give her that satisfaction easily. It drives her insane and fascinates her at the same time.

☆ She tries to keep it professional, but her restraint cracks. She starts showing up near your desk more often than necessary, asking for “updates” she could have emailed about.

☆ You make her feel off-balance, and Abby hates being off-balance—but she keeps coming back for it.

☆ When the relationship starts, it’s secret. Very secret. Her rules: no one knows, no workplace displays, and absolutely no compromising your career because of her.

☆ But it doesn’t take long before those lines blur. She touches your wrist in meetings. She defends you publicly. She gets jealous when other execs talk to you.

☆ Abby’s bedroom persona is different—still dominant, but reverent. Like she’s worshipping something she doesn’t think she deserves.

☆ She tries to be gentle, but her hands are rough, and her need is overwhelming. She’ll press you into soft sheets in her penthouse, hair loose, voice husky as she murmurs your name like a prayer.

☆ Aftercare is where her walls drop: she wraps you in her arms, kisses your forehead, brushes your hair back. She doesn’t say much, but the way she holds you says it all.

☆ You’re the only person who’s seen Abby cry. It happened once after a brutal boardroom betrayal. You found her sitting alone in her office at 1AM, hands shaking, eyes red. She didn’t send you away.

☆ She doesn’t let anyone touch her unless she initiates—except you. If you brush your hand over hers during a bad day, she visibly relaxes. No one else has that power.

☆ She trusts you with her past. Military trauma, the father she lost, the fear of turning into a machine. You’re her anchor.

☆ Abby doesn’t get petty jealous—but if someone flirts with you at a company party, she’s by your side in seconds. Hand on your lower back, icy stare, soft command in your ear: “Come with me.”

☆ If you’re ever hurt, dismissed, or undermined at work, Abby becomes an unstoppable force. “They don’t work here anymore,” she’ll say flatly, her protectiveness quiet and lethal.

☆ Sends you flowers “anonymously” that somehow end up in the executive suite with your name on them.

☆ Leaves sticky notes on your monitor with short notes: “You killed it today.” “Dinner tonight, 8PM.” “Proud of you.”

☆ Hires a private chef for your birthday but insists on cooking breakfast herself the next morning in nothing but a shirt and boxers.

☆ Keeps a framed candid photo of you in her locked drawer. You don’t know about it, but she looks at it on the hardest days.

☆ Eventually, you’re not a secret anymore. Abby makes it public in her own way: attending a gala with you on her arm, no apology in her eyes.

☆ She promotes you—not because of your relationship, but because you’re damn good at what you do. She makes sure no one can question your worth.

☆ Talks about retirement one day. Not to quit, but to slow down. “Maybe we’ll move somewhere quieter,” she murmurs against your neck. “Somewhere with a garden.”

☆ You knew Abby loved her diary. She wrote everything in there, every emotion, every high and every low. You were never allowed to read it, until one day you were alone in her room you decided to take a peek:

January 3rd

11:47 PM – Office

I saw her again today.

Same desk. Same quiet smile. Same nerve to look me dead in the eye without flinching.

I shouldn’t notice. I shouldn’t care.

But I do. And it’s starting to piss me off.

-

February 9th

1:15 AM – Penthouse

She corrected me. In front of the team.

Tactfully. Respectfully. But it was still a correction.

And god, it turned me on.

What the hell is wrong with me?

-

March 2nd

10:06 PM – Gym Locker Room

She wore her hair up today. It pulled her features tighter, more severe. And yet, all I wanted to do was tug it loose and see her fall apart.

I made up a reason to call her into my office.

Five minutes of conversation about a report I didn’t read.

Her voice lingers longer than it should.

-

March 16th

12:22 AM – Office (again)

I touched her hand today.

Not by accident. Not in passing.

I could feel the pulse in her wrist—fast, unsure.

She didn’t pull away.

Neither did I.

I’m crossing lines now. I know it.

I don’t want to stop.

-

April 4th

2:02 AM – Bedroom

She kissed me first.

That’s what I’ll tell myself, even if I know it’s a lie.

We were in the elevator, alone. I leaned in. Maybe too close. She looked at me like she’d already forgiven the mistake I hadn’t made yet.

I kissed her like I hadn’t wanted anything else in years.

And she kissed me back.

I’m fucked.

-

April 22nd

3:35 AM – After she fell asleep

She sleeps like she trusts me.

That should terrify me.

Instead, I’m scared of how badly I want to earn it.

-

May 11th

11:11 PM – Office

Saw her laughing with one of the interns. I hated how it made me feel.

Possessive. Petty. Animal.

I smiled when she glanced over, but I wanted to drag her away and remind her who she belongs to.

No. Not "belongs."

That’s not right. She’s not mine.

But I’m hers.

And I don’t think she even knows it.

-

May 27th

9:49 PM – Her Apartment

She made dinner. It was bad. I ate every bite.

She looked so proud.

When she leaned over to kiss me, all I could think was: I’ve gone soft.

Then she whispered she loves me.

And just like that, I broke.

-

June 5th

Midnight – Private Jet

I’m bringing her to the gala. Publicly. No more secrets.

Let them talk. Let them guess.

She’s not a scandal.

She’s the only real thing I have.

-

July 1st

10:10 PM – Lake House (weekend getaway)

She made me promise I’d rest.

No emails. No meetings.

She’s outside reading a book right now. Feet in the water. Hair wind-blown.

I’m watching her through the window.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel... free.

Maybe love isn’t a weakness.

Maybe it’s the only reason I’ve survived this long.

pls make reader and milf!abby have a baby together 😭😭😭

Baby - part 1/3 (Milf!Abby x reader)

This is going to be a 3 part series! Part 2 will be released soon:)

Milf abby: Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

baby series: part 1 part 2 part 3

masterlist

Authors note: i'm back fr, i finally finished with exams and I'm here to spam with fics again

☆ Milf Abby who was happy with the life the two of you were already living but something was missing.

☆Milf Abby who always thought you were good with kids

☆ Milf Abby who never really thought about having another kid until she married you.

☆ Milf Abby who thinks about it a little too much, if she has to be honest

☆ Milf Abby who never brought up the conversation of having another baby even though you were hinting at having another kid.

"Abby isn’t this cute" you said with a pout as you handed her a onesie you bought for Mel's baby shower.

"Abby look" you pointed at Aubrey playing with one of your collogues newborn baby: "she’d be such a good big sister"

☆ Milf Abby who would only nod or smile at whatever you had to say involving babies because she was terrified.

☆ Milf Abby who was asked about when the two of you were gonna have a baby.

"So..." Nora started

"yeah?" the blonde looked at her with a raised eyebrow

"when are you and your girl gonna have a baby?"

suddenly Abby's body went cold, she could hear her heart beating out of her chest and she silently stared at Nora with wide eyes.

"We um-"

"Abby having another baby?"

They heard a voice talk from behind them. Both of the girls heads snapped into the direction of the voice and there stood Mel, still heavily pregnant.

"When you have a kid you should be able to play with them, and to run around- don’t you think you passed that stage already? Don’t you have back pain or something?"

"Mel" Nora said sternly.

"no Nora she has to hear the truth" Mel replied.

Abby met the eyes of the brunette and Mel gave her a sympathetic smile: "by the time your baby is ten you'd almost be sixty, you'd be her grandma Abby"

☆ Milf Abby who agreed with Mel.

☆ Milf Abby who avoided you for a few days because she felt like she was keeping you back in life.

"Can you shut the fuck up" she said with a frustrated sigh.

You looked at her with a raised eyebrow. You knew there was something wrong due to her distant behavior recently. You thought she was stressed, tired maybe.

“Abby I just asked if you wanted something to eat”

Abby looked at you with a blank facial expression, before she looked down to the floor, brining her head into her hands.

You walked towards her putting your hand on her shoulder “talk to me abs”

you felt her muscles tense underneath your touch “c’mon Abby you can tell me anything”

she finally looked up from her hands, and she made brief eye contact with you before she looked away once again

“I-“

“spit it out”

“I don’t think we should have a baby”

“what?”

“listen baby” she started, and she gently took your hands into hers as she saw your eyes fill with tears

“I did some thinking, and I don’t think we should have a baby because I’m happy just with you and Aubrey. Don’t you think another baby will complicate our life?”

You stared at her in shock, how could she not tell you about this earlier?

“Abby you knew. You fucking knew I wanted to have kids, and you said you wanted the same. Now you want to change your mind?”

“Can I not change my mind?”

“You have every right to, but you know how I felt about having kids. You know that I've always wanted to be a mom"

She knew that. She knew all of this.

“aren’t you already a mom to Aubrey? Are you saying my daughter isn't good enough?”

“I did not fucking say that and you know that”

“but you meant it”

“fuck you” was all you said as you got up and walked towards the room the two of you shared.

She doesn’t know why she said that.

God Abby fucking knows what she said was wrong. It's not that she doesn’t want to have kids, its just she knew Mel had a point. She would be in her sixties by the time your baby would be done with high school.

Maybe she was too old after all.

☆ Milf Abby who had to listen to you sob throughout the night.

☆ Milf Abby who tried talking to you the next morning.

Abby let out a groan as she heard Aubrey giggle. She brought her hands up to her eyes as she opened them.

The light has always been bright in the living, but jesus she didn’t know they were this fucking bright.

Abby winched as she sat up from the couch, her limbs felt like they were burning. Her eyes fell on you and Aubrey. The two of you were eating and smiling, and as she took in the scene and she knew it was fucked up of her to say what she said yesterday.

Abby got up, still feeling stiff but she made her way towards the two people who she loved the most.

Aubrey gave her a bug smile and muttered a quick "good morning mommy" before she ran to her room. She smiled at her daughters before she focused her attention towards you.

You didn't even look at her.

She felt sick to her stomach.

“I left some eggs for you” was all you said before you walked out the kitchen.

Abby really fucked up.

☆ Milf Abby who tried getting your attention all week but you ignored her.

☆ Milf Abby who tried talking to you but all you replied with was “I don’t want to talk”

☆ Milf Abby who finally had enough and she decided that she should tell you what actually happened.

☆ Milf Abby who showed up to your classroom once again.

The room was empty and you stood with your back facing away from the door. Abby quietly walked towards you.

“hi”

she watched as your body jerked “jesus Abby I told you that you should start knocking” you said out of breath.

"Sorry" she mumbled

"can we talk?" she watched you facial expression turn cold.

“sure”

“thank you”

The room was filled a awkward silence, it was tense and it felt suffocating.

“talk Abby, I have things to do”

“I'm sorry”

“is sorry all you can fucking say?”

Abby wanted to bang her head against a wall.

“I want to have a baby with you”

“aw you changed your mind? What happened? Did I force you Abby? Are you sure you want this Abby? Oh wait! I don’t think I want to be a mom anymore, since you said that I m practically going to replace Aubrey. Oops let me-"

"it was Mel"

"what did Mel do?"

And the truth came out. Abby told you everything she said, how I made her feel.

You gave her a sympathetic smile before you spoke again: "You need to stop letting people tell you you're too old Abby. You keep losing opportunities, you keep giving yup your dreams, as soon as someone says something. You need to learn that you should stop listing to what others have to say about your age"

“I know but its hard” Abby muttered.

You got up and you walked towards her and you pulled her into a tight up “I know, but we’ll work though it. I’ll help you with whatever and if you don’t want to have a baby its ok-"

"no no I want to have a baby. I want to have one with you"

a smile spread onto your face.

"can we have a baby?" Abby asked.

"if you start working on your self confidence and you stop listing to what bitches have to say about you I will then we can have a baby"

"yes ma'am, i'll do whatever you say"

"one more thing Abby"

"yeah?"

"Don't ever talk to me in that way again. What you said really hurt my feelings, and i understand you were hurting too but it didn't give you the right to talk to me in that way. I love Aubrey more than anything so don't say that again"

"I'm so sorry baby i really am, i there anything i can do to make it up to you?"

"You can start by getting me chocolate milk"

☆ Milf Abby who made it up to you by apologizing over a million times, and by doing every single thing you said.

☆ Milf Abby who immediately started looking for doctors and baby names.

☆ Milf Abby who blocked Mel because fuck her and her fucking opinions.

☆ Milf Abby who did started working on her self confidence and she immediately felt better about everything.

☆ Milf Abby who was excited to have a baby with you.

<3

My pookies (the taglist): @lia-winther @hellorai

can u pretty please with a cherry on top make a part 4 to the milf abby 😔🙏🏼💟

Headcannons: Milf!abby anderson x reader (part 4)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

Authors note: Ladies and pookies I'm back! This last week has been the worst and most painful week of my life but, I'm back and better than ever <3

☆ Milf Abby who gets your initials tattooed on her ring finger.

You felt her calloused hands grab your waist as you stood admiring the ring she got you.

“it’s pretty” you muttered

“you’re pretty” she said with a smile

“shut up Abby” you shoved her to the side as you felt your face grow hot.

The two of you stood in silence for a while, enjoying the peace and quiet you both rarely get with Aubrey

“you know” Abby started “if the bride gets to wear an engagement ring, what about their partner?”

Your brows furrow, at the thought.

“that actually makes a lot of sense Abby. We should get you a ring-“

but before you could even finish you sentence Abby lifted up her right hand revealing the tattoo.

“what the fuck Abigail”

☆ Milf Abby who refers to you as her wife long before the wedding.

“Yeah my wife and I went there”

“she’s my wife”

“my wife likes that show” “you know what they say happy wife happy life”

☆ Milf Abby who buys you white dresses as gifts just to see what you would look like in white, because she really couldn’t wait for the wedding.

☆ Milf Abby who’s literally a perfectionist and plans the wedding without a planner.

“No, you aren’t folding the napkins right” “that isn’t the right shade of pink”

☆ Milf Abby who asks her daughter to be the ring bearer and the maid of honor.

Aubrey looked at you with curious eyes as Abby placed the box onto her lap.

“dude what’s this?”

“Aubrey I’m not your friend, who taught you that word?” Abby sighed

“grandpa did” “of course he did. He really needs to stop-“

 “Abby lets focus on the box” you interrupted her, knowing this conversation wasn’t going anywhere.

“Can I open it please?” Aubrey asked you, with a polite smile.

“of course she’s nice to you! You little gremlin-“

“Abby!”

Abby felt Aubrey pinch her arm at the gremlin comment

“why would you-“

“ok” you said with a stern voice “lets open the box, you guys can fight later”

sometimes it felt like you were living with children.

Aubrey’s small hands grabbed the box, eagerly tearing away the wrapping paper. In the box lay a simple white dress, with paper rings. The little girl gently grabbed the fabric, inspecting it. She saw the rings and it took her a while to get it.

“I’m carrying the rings?!” she yelled

“and we were hoping you’d be our maid of honor too” you pulled out a basket from behind you and the girls smile grew.

☆ Milf Abby who begs you to let her go with you when you go wedding dress shopping.

“please”

“Abby its bad luck”

“fuck the bad luck”

☆ Milf Abby who sends you thumbs down emoji’s the whole time you were gone.

☆ Milf Abby who doesn’t want to sleep in separate houses the night before the wedding.

☆ Milf Abby who sends you cringe Facebook minion memes and jokes because she misses you. This was your first night apart in months, but she knew after tonight she would be waking up with you next to her for the rest of her life.

☆ Milf Abby who barley slept that night. She wasn’t sure if she was nervous or excited.

☆ Milf Abby who gets ready extremely early. Her hair was out of her normal tight braid, and the hair fell to her shoulders. Her black suit hugging her in all the right places.

☆ Milf Abby who starts at herself in the mirror too long, and she suddenly notices her wrinkles, she suddenly notices the grey hairs.

☆ Milf Abby who gets cold feet.

☆ Milf Abby who starts crying because you didn’t deserve this.

You needed someone younger, some who doesn’t have back pains and complains about their joints hurting. Someone who wasn’t turning 50 soon.

Someone who won’t die soon.

You needed more than Abby.

Abby’s loud sobs filled the room as she looked at herself in the mirror.

She should call this off.

“Abby?” her head snapped to the direction of the door. It was her dad. She quickly wiped her eyes, and she sniffed a couple of times. “hey dad” he slowly walked towards her, and he gently sat next to her, putting his hand on her shoulder he muttered “you okay?”

The blonde sitting next to him broke out in sobs, her head fell to his shoulder “oh honey” he breathed as he held her close.

“Abby what’s wrong?” He felt his daughter tremble next to him. “i- I’m keeping her back in life” Abby started, and Jerry just sat and listened to her.

“I’m so old I’m probably going to die soon. Who wants to be married to a grandma? One of these days I won’t be able to get out of bed without complaining. And she’s so pretty and young- she-she deserves everything, and what can I give her? My future dentures?”

“have you ever thought that this is what she wanted?”

Abby lifted her head to what her father said.

“The fact she’s marrying you proves that the love she has for you is endless. She’s willing to look after you when you do get those dentures. She wants you as much as you want her Abby, don’t let your insecurities stop you from being with the love of your life. And yeah, you’ll get old, but she’ll be with you”

☆ Milf Abby who goes to the venue earlier than everyone to make sure everything is ok.

☆ Milf Abby who stood at the altar with sweaty palms, waiting for your arrival.

☆ Milf Abby who started crying as soon as you start walking down the aisle.

 ☆ Milf Abby who couldn’t take her eyes off you the whole ceremony because she realized that this was it. She was marrying you.

☆ Milf Abby who shed more tears than you did during your vows and she cried even more when Aubrey came with the rings.

☆ Milf Abby who practically jumps on you when they said she could kiss you.

You felt her hands grab your face, and she brought you in for a rough kiss.

The crowned screamed around the two of you and you heard the clicks of all the cameras. You felt Abby’s lips smile against yours before she pulled away putting her head against yours.

She whispered “I’ll love you forever”

“I love you too abs, forever and always”

Can you maybe do post man Abby with Mrs.postman- Black pumas

Mrs. Postman - (abby anderson x reader)

Hi anon! this was so weird to write because where I'm from we don't have people who deliver our mail, but i hope i did you justice. I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Mrs. Postman by Black Pumas, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: post man!abby x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: none

Summary: in which you fell for the post lady

authors note: first abby fic that isn't hcs??? let's fucking go dude. My second post for the day, I'm blessing yall before I leave till god knows when lmao.

Every tomorrow brings sunshine in my neighborhood since you've been in it

Oh-oh, here comes Mrs. Postman

She's thicker than blue blood and a message from her spirits, high descendant

Oh-oh, it's Mrs. Postman

This commonality won't let her be fooled by low conditions

Oh-oh, says Mrs. Postman

Your love reside in me but other feathers seem to flock together

Oh-oh, Mrs. Postman

You hated this stupid fucking city.

You don't even know why you moved here in the first place. It was fucking hot. Everything was expensive. You hated this place so much.

The Jackson sun was high in the sky, as you stood at the window drinking your morning tea.

You had moved in a couple of weeks ago, and today was finally the day you would be able to get your mail.

You finally heard the knock at the door, and with excitement you ran towards it. You almost tripped but no one needs to know that.

As you opened the door, you thought you stood in front of a god.

Her blonde hair, was pulled back in a tight braid, she was staring at you with her beautiful eyes, and her smile was just fucking perfect. Her uniform sat tight against her skin, showing her body is just the right places.

Holy shit.

Postman or Postwoman? You don't even what to call her.

"Hi, I'm Abby! You must be new" she said with a bright smile.

Now you knew why everyone is Jackson was always so happy in the morning, their fucking postman was a ray of sunshine.

"Yeah I am" you said with a small smile, opening up your hand to take the package from her hands.

"Have a good day ma'am" Abby said, before she walked away.

Maybe Jackson wasn't that bad after all.

If you want it

Go and get it, you can have it Mrs. Postman

That's alright

Can we spark it? Effervescence, let the flame burn Mrs. Postman

Right on

When it rains just know that every little thing is alright

All the same, I know that everything will be right on time

as the weeks went by, you realized that Jackson wasn't such a bad place.

The people were nice, it was a safe area. The Postlady is really hot. Things were looking up.

You found yourself waking up earlier in the morning, just to make yourself look prettier. You would sweep your front porch daily, to make sure that Abby would come to a clean place. You found yourself baking cookies, and giving it to her every morning.

What was happening to you?

Even when you didn't have any mail, Abby always made a turn at your place. Her visits always made you feel special.

The days Abby didn't come, you always felt the lack of her presence. She'd become a part of you routine. She's become a part of you.

Over time you learned small facts about the blonde.

Her dad was a surgeon, she had one dog, her favorite color is blue, she works 5 days a week, and she's trying to get into college.

You could say the two of you had established a friendship.

You saw whatever you had as more than that. You guys weren't a friendship in your eyes. You felt that there was more.

Your crush on Abby grew by the second, every interaction, every smile and giggle she let out had an effect on you.

god you were down bad for your fucking Postwoman.

Today was like no other.

You woke up, took a showers and you put on brand new blue sundress you bought to hope fully catch Abby's eye.

You sat in your living room, staring at the clock, counting down the seconds of Abby's arrival.

You heard a knock at your door, and you jumped up, cleaning your throat as you walked towards the door. You took a deep breath as you opened the door and you were met with Abby's smiling face.

You saw her eyes wonder down your body as she looked at your outfit.

She thought you looked fucking beautiful.

"Hi Abby" you muttered shyly.

Your eyes met as, and you felt a spark.

"Hi" Abby smiled.

"Do I have mail?" you asked.

"Yeah a letter" Abby handed it to you.

You thanked her and the two of you stood there for a while.

"Aren't you supposed to go Abby?" You asked unsure of why she still stood there.

"Open it"

with a raised eyebrow you opened the letter.

The page was complete white, but in the middle of the page there was some words written in black ink.

Will you go on a date with me?

From your favorite postwoman

Abby <3

You looked up at her with eyes wide, and she awkwardly brought her hand up to scratch the back of her neck.

"So?" She asked unsure.

She looked terrified.

"Fuck yes" You breathed before you leaped forward bringing her in for a hug. You gave her a kiss on a cheek as you pulled away, her face was red.

You made her so fucking nervous.

"Can we go out tonight?" Abby looked at you with a hopeful smile.

"See you tonight ms postman"

Headcannons: Milf!abby anderson x reader (part 3)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

☆ Milf Abby who’s literally the sweetest girlfriend ever. A little old school, but she’s still cute.

☆ Milf Abby who buys you weekly flowers, and who packs you lunch.

☆ Milf Abby who helps you plan lessons and sometimes comes and helps you teach.

☆ Milf Abby who gets baby fever if she sees you with kids.

☆ Milf Abby who said I love you after 3 days of dating.

☆ Milf Abby who has you as her lock screen.

☆ Milf Abby who plans family dates for you and her daughter.

☆ Milf Abby whose heart clenches when she sees how much Aubrey talks about you.

☆ Milf Abby who feels like a teenager because of you.

☆ Milf Abby that’s confused when you text her slang

Abby: ill come pick you up later?

you: yeah baby, I have to go now ttyl

Abby: what is that

☆ Milf Abby who finds pop culture drama interesting because she’s never really took interest in it till you appeared.

☆ Milf Abby who discovers so much and she feels old, but you never judge or make fun of her for it.

☆ Milf Abby who knows you’re the one.

☆ Milf Abby bought you an engagement ring after 2 weeks of dating. It was a simple ring because she knew you didn’t like big and extravagant things (unless it’s her dick-)

☆ Milf Abby who wants to propose to you at a family BBQ

☆ Milf Abby who takes you to meet her family after 4 months of dating, and she knew that this was the weekend she was going to propose.

☆ Milf Abby who held your hand the entire time, when you were being introduced.

☆ Milf Abby who tried staying by your side, but then you snatched away by Aubrey and her cousins.

☆ Milf Abby who stared at you with a smile as you were playing with the kids because you were just that pretty.

☆ Milf Abby who gets cocky when her family tells her she made the right choice.

“You got yourself a pretty girl abs”

“I know”

☆ Milf Abby who was having a good night till her ex-wife showed up.

“What are you doing here?” Abby asked through gritted teeth.

“it’s a family event, can I not be here?”

“you aren’t family”

“Abby she barley sees her mother:

“did you forget we have a child together?”

☆ Milf Abby who wanted to leave but you convinced her to stay for the sake of Aubrey.

“but she’s a bitch”

Aubrey grabbed onto your hand and she ran to her mother. You watched the women’s face drop at the sight of you

“Abby please”

☆ Milf Abby who wanted to slap her ex-wife every time she gave you a dirty look.

“mom this mommy’s girlfriend! isn’t she pretty?!”

The women stared at you with hatred in her eyes. She extended her hand out to grab your other hand in a tight handshake “I’m Kimberly” then you told her your name. The two of you fell into a awkward conversation, until she brought up Abby.

“how long have you been together?” she asked

“4 months” you replied with a smile.

“isn’t it too early to be meeting the family?” she asked, and you rolled your eyes before you responding: “isn’t it too bitchy to judge what I do in my relationship?”

Kimberly stared at you with wide eyes.

☆ Milf Abby who was listening to the whole interaction and she had the biggest smile on her face. That her girl.

☆ Milf Abby who was glued by your side the entire night, but you somehow got lost.

☆ Milf Abby who saw Kimberly walk up to her and she knew this wasn’t going to end well.

“What do you want?” Abby groaned.

“Look I need to say something”

“then talk”

The women took a deep breath before she started spewing nonsense: “I think she’s too young for you! She’s childish”

“that’s your opinion, you know nothing about her”

“well I don’t like her” Kimberly went on.

“that’s ok, but she’s my girlfriend so I don’t know why its bothering you”

“I don’t want her around Aubrey”

that was Abby’s final straw.

“Listen here, you’re barley present in our daughters life. She’s been a better mother to her that you, ever were! You know shit about Aubrey”

“I do” she tried arguing.

“if you did you would’ve know she doesn’t like the nutty chocolate you brought for her”

Kimberly went quiet. Abby continued on to talk.

“You are a shit person. You were a shitty wife, and a shitty mother. My daughter doesn’t deserve that. She needs someone like her. She’s my everything and I would fucking kill for her, so I suggest you stay out of my family’s life”

“but she’s still my daughter”

“she might be but I have full custody” Abby chuckled. “And besides not everyone was made to be a mother, especially you” Kimberly stood there quietly, and she left the party soon after.

☆ Milf Abby who was relieved that she was finally gone.

☆ Milf Abby whose family knew about the proposal and they were helping her plan it.

As the party continued to go on you stood at the table, helping Abby’s aunts with making salads. It was odd, everything became more and more quiet.

You felt arms wrap around you and you knew it was her.

“Hi” you giggled

“hi” she replied. You could practically hear her smile.

“You having fun baby?” Abby asked.

“yeah”

You noticed her sudden silence before you asked: “are you ok?”

Abby took a deep breath. She was nervous. You could tell.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking”

“about?”

“I want this”

“Salad?”

“no” she chuckled. 

“A life with you”

Your heartrate increased.

“I want us to grow old together and throw family BBQ’s. I want us to have a big house, so Aubrey can bring her kids over one day. I want to spend forever waking up next to you, and I want to grow our family….”

During her speech you didn’t notice that she let go of you. You were too busy processing her words at that moment.

“Baby look at me” Abby spoke. You slowly turned around to see Abby’s family surrounding the two of you and her on her one knee, with a delicate ring in her hand.

“Will you marry me?” She asked unsure.

You looked at her with wide eyes, no words were coming out out.

“Say yes! please I can’t wait any longer” Aubrey yelled from the sidelines. You saw Abby chuckle.

You fell down onto your knees before you grabbed her face for a kiss.

“I guess that’s a yes” Abby chuckled when she pulled away.

“fuck yes”

She slipped the ring onto your finger before she got up and yelled “she said yes!” The crowd erupted in screams and cries.

☆ Milf Abby who kissed you passionately as tears flowed from both your eyes.

This was true love.

my pookie: (the tag list): @elliens4