Abby Anderson - Blog Posts

Chapter III Unspoken Desires

~ March 17th 2038

“We’ll talk about it later” 

The words rang in Abby’s mind. They had been for the past two weeks. Juno had also been avoiding her for the past two weeks. She even went as far as changing the patrol partners behind Abby’s back. Why would she do  all of this? Why wouldn’t she just tell Abby what the problem was? Why didn’t she just say she didn’t wanna talk about it? These were the questions Abby had been asking herself again and again. They grew close quickly once they learned to trust each other. Now they seemed to be growing apart. All because Juno was too scared of ruining it all.

Juno’s days of avoiding Abby come to their inevitable end when they both get called to the FOB. Abby arrives first, not knowing that Juno will also be arriving soon. When Juno does get there the two of them look at each other for just a moment and she’s filled with regret. She knows Abby’s been trying to contact her and she knows now there’s no other choice. Isaac clears his throat and Juno takes a seat. Isaac wants them back on patrol together, to take out a Scar camp that’s in WLF territory. It’s clearly not optional.

After the meeting with Isaac they left the FOB and ‘coincidentally’ both headed for the mess hall. The walk there is unsurprisingly awkward. They’re quiet but not because they want to be. 

“Abby..we should talk about this..” Juno murmured. 

“Let’s get some food, then we’ll go somewhere less crowded” Abby suggests.

Juno nods and follows after Abby. Once they get their food they head to the stadium and up to Juno’s room. They sit on the floor opposite of each other. 

“So..wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me like the plague?” Abby questions in a casual tone.

Juno winces internally “Look..I..I’ve wanted to talk to you about it all. I can’t though..” 

“Why not? Is there somebody else involved or something?” Abby asks.

“Yes, well..kinda?”She questions her own words.

Abby doesn’t say anything, looking at Juno with a hint of concern.  She’s  heard plenty from Owen about how hard it is for Juno to share her feelings with other people.

Juno takes a breath “I can’t tell you”  she murmurs.

Abby sighs in frustration, debating whether or not to push the topic. 

“I’m..I’m sorry..This wasn’t how I thought this would go..” she looked up at Abby, “but you didn’t do anything wrong, y’know” she murmurs, looking away again.

“Right..” Abby nods, not sure how to continue their conversation from this point. She’s not even sure if Juno wants to keep talking. “I..I’ll see you later” she sighs.

Juno watches as Abby gets up from her seat, watching her leave the mess hall.

~ April 3rd 2038

“The scar camp shouldn’t be that far from here” Abby utters, looking at the map Isaac provided.

“We’re sure they’re Scars and not some strangers.” Juno asks, keeping an eye out for any infected.

“Why are you questioning it?” Abby snaps slightly.

“Well the guy who said something about it is blind in one eye” she starts off, “plus he said he saw it from a distance”

“Well if they aren’t Scars we’ll..I don’t know” Abby huffs in frustration.

They continued making their way to the camp, remaining cautious of their surroundings. When they finally arrived at the camp they could see brown coats hanging from the tree limbs. They were likely being aired out from the recent rain. 

“Definitely Scars..” Juno mutters. 

“There’s only three coats..but there might be more of them” Abby whispers, pulling her rifle off of her shoulder.

The two girls stalk closer to the camp, weapons at the ready. From their spot in the bushes they see two Scars emerge from one of the tents. They’re completely oblivious to the two wolves. Abby motions for Juno to ready her rifle as she does the same. They take their shots, both hitting the Scars square in the head. Two more emerge from the other tents, handguns at the ready. One of them manages to shoot Abby in the shoulder before both blondes take them out. Once they’re sure nobody else is around, Juno speaks up.

“Hey..sit down and let me patch you up” Juno speaks softly, motioning to the tree stump behind Abby.

Abby nods, sitting down carefully. She moves her clothing to the side so Juno can help her. Juno sits in front of her and pulls out the small med pack she had in her bag. Once she finished she notices Abby’s shins are pretty cut up from the thorns on the bushes they’d been hiding in. Juno moves back and moves Abby’s pant leg up.

“Shit- I didn’t even notice that” Abby murmured, looking down at her own legs and the other blonde’s hands.

Juno just hums in acknowledgment. She wipes off the blood before disinfecting the cuts and bandages them. Once she’s finished she glances back up at Abby. They lock eyes but don’t speak. The silence between them is thick with the weight of unspoken words. Neither girl can bring herself to speak. Juno gathers her things before standing. For a moment Abby watches her before getting up herself. 

With their job completed they start to head back to the stadium. Just before they arrive Abby tentatively grabs Juno’s shoulder. “Wait..” she whispers. Juno stops in her tracks, turning to face her. They lock eyes and Abby is almost at a loss for words. 

“Juno..I need you to tell me why you were avoiding me” she speaks louder than she had before.

Juno’s breath hitches “Let’s get inside..then I promise I’ll tell you..everything” 

The two blondes sit on opposite ends of Juno’s bed. Juno keeps her eyes averted as she starts to speak. “So..so basically um..” She stutters, starting to pick at her fingers.

Abby gently grabs Juno’s hands in her own, pulling them apart.

”Relax Jun.. you act like I’m gonna bite your head off” Abby jokes, trying to lighten the mood. 

Juno takes a breath and looks up at Abby  “I’m..We..um..I love you” she says it like more of a question.

Abby looks at her for a moment before the realization hits her. “You’re- oh- oh my god” Before she can speak again there’s a knock at the door. 

“Come in” Juno calls out before muttering something unintelligible.

Manny walks in and looks at Abby “There you are, I’ve been looking for you” he pauses and looks between them both “I didn’t mean to interrupt but Isaac wants us at the FOB remember.” 

“Right, give us just a sec yeah?” Abby urges

Manny nods and walks back out. The blondes face each other again. “I promise, we can get into this again when I get back” 

Juno nods and watches Abby leave. She feels rejected even though she knows that isn’t the case, at least not yet. At this point there was really no telling what Abby would say. Maybe she was disgusted, maybe she was happy, maybe she’s confused.

Series Masterlist

Chapter II Reunion & Reflections

~ February 24th 2038

The ‘Salt Lake Crew’ has finally returned to the base. After about 4 months they’re back and their goal has been accomplished.

For the past week or two Juno has been spending her free time close to the gate so that she could observe the people coming in. Well today was her lucky day. Just as she was getting comfortable the gate opened up and she saw Owen and Abby walk through with the others. She watched them walk to the medical center, deciding to let them settle back in before she went pestering them.

After a few hours Juno went looking for Owen but ended up finding Manny and Jordan instead.

“Hey Juno,” Manny called out, seeing the lost look on her face “Who’re you looking for?” He asks once he has her attention.

“Owen, any idea where he is?” She asks, looking between them both.

“Haven’t seen him since we got back” Jordan chimed in then looked at Manny for his answer. “Me either, your best best would be Mel or Abby” Manny pats her shoulder, “Hope you find him”

“Thank you both” She smiles at the two men before heading off to the medical center.

She finds Mel at the medical center and asks her if she’s seen Owen. Mel shakes her head and tells her he ran off before she could ask where he was going. Juno huffs and thanks her before running off. After a couple minutes of searching for both Owen and Abby she huffs and decides she’ll quit looking for now. He’ll come find her before night comes.

He did not come to find her before sunset. Abby did though. Well not exactly. Abby came to find her around 9pm.

A soft knock on the door pulled Juno’s focus away from her book. She got up from her chair and padded over to the door. She pulled it open expecting to see her brother but was pleasantly surprised by Abby instead.

“Hey..Owen uh wanted me to check up on you, y’know since we were gone” Abby says, leaning against the door frame.

Juno smiles at the taller woman “I’m alright, how is he? I haven’t actually talked to him since you guys got back”

“He’s alright, the trip shook all of us a bit so he just needs some time away from..everything” She explains.

Juno nods, “right, well I’m glad he’s doing okay” there’s an awkward silence for a moment “How are you doing?” she asks tentatively.

Abby doesn’t answer immediately, “I’m okay, just a little sleep deprived”

“I bet, you should get to bed, get back on your sleep schedule” Juno suggests.

“Yeah, you’re right” there’s a pause in the blonde’s words, “I’ll see you in the morning?” she asks.

Juno nods “Yeah- yeah absolutely” she grins wider “goodnight Abby”

“Night Juno” Abby waves, walking off to her own room.

Juno watches the other woman walk off for a moment before turning back into her own bedroom. She takes a moment, thinking about the interaction. She’s only spent a month in total with Abby but something felt a little off. Maybe it was just because of the trip to Jackson. She said that everyone had been a little shaken up so maybe that was it.

~ March 2nd 2038

Juno thought she was losing it, she had to be losing it actually. There was no way she was starting to fall for Abby. Her brother’s ex. There was no way. Except there was because she was absolutely falling for her. Day by day she became more infatuated with the older woman. Speaking of Abby, Juno had patrol with her in a few hours.

“Jesus, again?” Juno murmurs to herself as she braids her hair, “I’m always on patrol with her”

She complained as if she hated the older woman.

The next few hours went by quickly, so did the first half of patrol until Abby started asking questions.

“Hey, Jun are you doing alright” Abby asks, holding up a garage door for Juno to duck under.

“Huh- yeah um” Juno stops herself before she starts unnecessarily stuttering.

Abby gives her a once over “You’re quiet” she states simply.

“I uh..I’m just a little tired” It wasn’t a lie but that wasn’t why she’d been so quiet.

“..Alright then”

The silence that follows is awkward but neither girl can dwell on it for long. Both of their thoughts are interrupted by the scream of an infected. They maneuver through the dimly lit building quietly, listening for any more screams or rustling. Along the way Abby used a shiv to take out a few unsuspecting Runners and Juno did the same with her bow. They were doing good until they came across a dim open room. The room was filled with an unsettling sound coming from the five Clickers inside. Two stood idly, in unnatural curled stances while the other three seemed to be searching. Abby took one in the corner while Juno shot the idle two with her bow. She aimed for the fourth one while Abby made her way to the fifth. Before Juno could steady her shot she was sent flying to the floor with the wind knocked out of her. A Stalker laid on top of her, trying to get a bite.

“Shit-!” She gasped, trying to pry the creature off of her. “Come on, get off!”

The last two Clickers in the room started to make their way towards Juno. Abby took them out with her rifle before rushing to help Juno with the Stalker. She kicked it off before shooting it in the head. Juno took a moment to gather herself before taking Abby’s hand and standing.

“Are you bit?” Abby asks a bit impatiently.

“I'm clean” Juno confirms, grabbing her own rifle and scanning the room.

It was quiet. Eerily quiet.

“Keep an eye out” Abby murmurs.

They move forward, cautious of any dark corners or doorways. The building is still and silent as they progress. It seems empty but something is screaming at Juno telling her it isn’t. Her grip in her rifle is tight. The next room they enter is a mess, there’s clutter and furniture scattered throughout the room. Abby starts to take her next step but Juno grabs her shoulder, her other hand motioning to the rusted filing cabinet. Or rather what’s beside it. There’s a figure hunched beside it. It wasn’t a Clicker from what they could see. It likely wasn’t a Runner either. Was it a person? Or was it just a Stalker in plain sight?

The figure's head shot up as Juno took a step forward. The room became still and they realized it was indeed another person. They both relaxed slightly but didn’t lower their weapons. Before either girl could speak, the stranger sprung towards them. Without hesitation Abby raised her rifle and took the shot. The crack of the gun was followed by the thud of the body then again, silence.

“Come on..we gotta finish clearing the building..” Abby mutters, clearly a bit shaken up.

Juno follows after her. The building seems still again as they venture upstairs. The silence between them is full of stolen glances, some of concern, others of desire. The silence is broken by the cracking of floor boards beneath them.

Before either of them can get to a more solid spot the flooring caves in. Right through the previous floor as well. They end up in what they can only assume is a basement.

“Ugh..this seems to be a trend around here..falling through floors” Abby grunts, trying to pull her bag out from under the debris.

“Yeah seems like i-” Juno cuts herself off as she hears the familiar clicking. “Abby..” she whispers.

Abby moves quickly but quietly, pulling Juno into the far corner. Both of their bags are still stuck in the debris but there wasn’t time to grab either of them yet. The girls are flush against each other back-to-front. Juno reaches for the gun in her thigh holster but realizes she lost it in the fall.

“Shit..” she murmurs, opting for the switchblade tucked into her waistband instead.

She peels her body away from Abby’s with hesitance, lurking towards the Clicker. She takes it out from behind and lays it down. After listening for more infected they stand up and grab their bags. After a few minutes they get back to the floor they arrived on.

“Alright, time to get the fuck outta here” Juno murmurs.

“You couldn’t be more right” Abby huffs, leading the way to the door.

Once they’re out they decide to take a breather. They sit down against a tree in the more open area, leaning against each other.

Juno finally breaks the silence “Thank you” she nearly whispers. Her eyes are closed and her head is leaned back against the stump. Abby looks down at her before responding with a soft “for what?”. Juno huffs in slight amusement at the other girl’s question “For saving my life”

“Oh..anytime Jun” Abby smiles slightly.

Juno opens her eyes to look at the other blonde and her face flushes slightly. They were too close. She sits up, turning to face Abby while also backing up. More silence falls over the two of them.

“You’re too quiet” Abby points out.

“Thought you liked the quiet?” Juno asks.

“Not with you” Her face says that she doesn’t realize what she’s saying until after she’s said it.

They look at each other for a moment before Juno clears her throat and speaks up again. “We should head back..”

“Juno-” Abby starts but gets cut off by the smaller woman “Later..we..we’ll talk about it later.”

Abby nods, showing that she respects her decision. The walk back to the base is quiet, they don’t run into any more infected. Thankfully they don’t run into any Scars either. They part ways after arriving back, Juno going off to find Owen and Abby going to her shared room.

Juno ends up finding Owen in the mess hall, he looks like he’s waiting for somebody.

“Hey, Owen, can we talk?” She slides into the seat across from him.

“Yeah- you look a little stressed” He comments, studying his sister’s face.

“A little more than a little” she murmurs, she takes a breath before continuing “I kinda don’t wanna say it now..jesus”

“C’mon it can’t be horrible” he reassures.

“Would you consider me..being in love with your ex as horrible?” she asks hesitantly.

Owen’s jaw drops “are you serious?” There's no anger behind his words, just pure shock.

“Yeah..” she puts her face in her hands.

Owen takes a breath before continuing. He assures Juno that he isn’t upset with her before anything else. He tells her that if that’s the way she wants to go then go for it. She almost can’t believe her ears. When Mel shows up she takes it as her sign to leave but not before saying bye to the both of them. She heads back to her own room with things to reflect on and things to prepare for.

Series Masterlist

One Moore to Another

Masterlist

Abby Anderson x Juno Moore(my oc!)

Chapter I - Finding the Light - 541 words

Chapter II - Reunion & Reflections - 1.8k words

Chapter III - Unspoken Desires - 1.2k words

Chapter IV - The Aquarium

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Chapter I 'Finding the Light'

~ September 12th 2037

Juno struggled against the arms that held her down, kicking and screaming. She refused to let this happen. She couldn’t let them die when they were so close to that base.

Just a few feet away she was watching their nearly limp bodies get beat into the floor by these traders. Traders that claimed her parents ‘sold them short’.

“Leave them alone” she pleaded, nearly choking on her own sobs “please..hic..don’t kill them” she couldn’t even scream anymore because of how long she’d been screaming for them to stop.

The man blocking the door pulled his gun on Juno but was stopped by the one holding her down. He claimed there was no need to kill the kid. Juno could tell they were arguing but couldn’t tell what they were saying. Her eyes were locked on the sight before her, her head was pounding. Before she knew it the men were fleeing, the only sounds left were her own cries, shuffling down the hall, and whistling. She quickly moved to where her parents' bodies laid, carelessly thrown beside each other.

“Ma….Ma..Dad..?” Her voice trembled as did her body “No..dammit no..please..please I still need you..” she sobbed harder, hiccuping and coughing. She leaned back against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest. “No…no..no please, please come back..please” She pleads, rocking herself until she inevitably falls asleep.

~ September 20th 2037

Juno approaches the gates of the WLF base. Limping due to a sprained ankle that hasn’t been treated properly yet. She’s stopped by soldiers before she can get too close to it.

“Please..I’m..I’m just looking for my brother, Owen” She explains to them.

Two of the soldiers share a glance before nodding. “Open the gate, she’s just one girl, plus she’s injured” One of them speaks up.

Juno’s eyes light up with hope. He’s here. They open up the gate and one of them leads her to the medical center. “Mel, can you fix up her ankle and these cuts, I gotta go find Owen”

The dark haired woman, supposedly named Mel, looked between the soldier and Juno. She nods before motioning for Juno to follow after. The two of them head back to an empty space for Mel to work. Juno sits down and Mel starts to work on her ankle. After a while the soldier comes back with Owen and a woman.

“Juno..?” He asks hesitantly, studying the frail looking girl in front of him. The blond to his right also studied her.

Juno hesitates as well before speaking, “Owen?”

Owen surges forward, pulling Juno into his arms. Mel and the blonde woman share a glance of confusion before looking back at the pair. They hold each other before Owen steps back to get a look at her.

“How’d all this happen?” He eyes a particular set of stitches on her bicep.

“Some traders to us on the way here” Juno explains, her voice quiet.

“Us?” Owen asks, his eyes darting around the room for a moment. “Mom and dad are with you?” Juno shakes her head at her brother’s second question. She couldn’t bring herself to speak, to tell him what happened. She didn't have to though. He could tell by the pained look on her face. “Oh Jun..”

Series Masterlist

Screaming, shacking, crying, gun loaded and ready

tlou epsiode 3 tonight... im scared!!

Yall I just found out Kaitlyn Denver, Abbys actor is a Zionist?????

What the fuck??!!

I just made a whole ass pots where half of it was not to come for cuz she didn’t look like Abby to the last detail(which is ridicules)

BUY SHES A FUCKING ZIONIST

Kill me😭🔫 like I did not make that whole ass post defending herraahhh

from now on I AM NOT GOING TO DEFEND THAT IS GOING OT HAOOEN ONCE IN EVERY ZAMILLIONBILLIONMILLIONTHOUDANDHUNDRED YEARS OKAY!

This makes me want to just fucking rage quit

Wait.. y’all I just realized that Dina doesn’t know that Joel’s…y’know

Is it just me or do I feel like she’s kinda gonna have survivors guilt?

Like she’ll think maybe “If I fought more then I could’ve tired to save Joel”

Or “If I hadn’t let them drug me then I could’ve convinced Abby not to kill him or stall her long enough for Ellie and Jesse to get there”

Is it just me???😭

It’s not even an obsession at this point I need to be put down

Lowkey started licking my screen 😋

my fine shyts 😍

How I fell after beating hard ass levels in TLOU

I can imagine people thinking I hate the game based on how incredibly critical I am of it in my essays and that couldn't be further from the truth. I love this game to pieces. It has been on my mind nearly every day since it came out, it fascinates me, inspires me and has like nothing else that has been released in the past year made me think about my own craft and skills, I have never been this productive and this thrilled about storytelling before. And if I'm being honest, I could write just as many, just as long essays gushing about certain aspects of the game, I just don't think that'd be an interesting read and/or give reason to have interesting conversations. No piece of art is perfect, so me being critical of it is not necessarily a reflection of my overall stance. Again, this game and its story mean the world to me.

Why Abby never redeemed herself (and what that means for the story)

As divisive as the discourse surrounding Abby as a character and The Last of Us Part 2’s story as a whole is, I have felt the need for quite some time now to properly put into words why much of the intended effect the highly ambitious narrative attempted to achieve has unfortunately never occurred for me. This is due to a single central problem: Abby does not have a redemption arc. A redemption arc consists of two equally crucial aspects: a) the character undergoing the arc realizes that they made a mistake/have been acting morally reprehensible b) they make the conscious decision to do/be better Abby doesn’t do either of those things. Regarding the first aspect, the only instance where Abby alludes to feeling some type of guilt or shame or regret regarding any of her actions (both in terms of what happened in Jackson and what’s going on in Seattle) is on day 2, while she descends the hotel with Lev. When asked by him why she’s helping them, Abby says she “needed to lighten the load a bit”. This is most commonly interpreted as her feeling guilty. This one sentence, however, is so incredibly vague that it’s impossible to determine definitively what she’s talking about here. More than likely, she is referring to having slept with Owen. Not only did that happen mere hours ago, meaning it would still be on her mind, but additionally, Abby has remained consistently defensive, almost aggressively so, when being questioned or challenged in the slightest about Jackson (nearly all her conversations with Mel and Manny during the first day showcase this), so why would she out of nowhere admit any feeling of guilt concerning Joel? Furthermore, nothing occurred that could have acted as a trigger for Abby to start looking back on her actions with self-reflection/self-criticism. And for precisely these reasons I didn’t take that line as an allusion to Joel. (Again, it is possible to interpret it this way, I’m just illustrating why I deem it unlikely.)

Her decision to save Lev and Yara, as is implied by the narrative, is motivated by her feeling like she owes them for having saved her life. And thus (since they would likely die otherwise) she felt somewhat obligated – against her better judgement – to help them in return. Abby doesn't feel the need to change her mind about the Seraphites, she merely makes an exception for these two. Even when interacting with Lev and Yara, she continues to be reluctant, judgmental, and condescending throughout the majority of the first two days (we can spontaneously think of snide, condescending comments Abby makes toward Lev whenever he is talking about his faith), again showcasing that she clearly has no desire or intention to change her mind about their faction, as well as continuously refusing to take them seriously/treat them respect. And while on the subject of Lev and his faith, we do see Abby learning quite a bit about the Seraphites’ religion, but it’s always through the lens of Lev, who makes an effort to distance himself from the rest of his people. When explaining himself to Abby, he makes it clear that this is his belief, and that the Seraphites deviated from their original beliefs/teachings some time ago, thus only reinforcing Abby’s previously held beliefs. She is given no reason to look at the conflict between the two factions from an objective/distant perspective, possibly realizing that misunderstandings, prejudices and year-long, one-sided, vicious rhetoric might have blown the conflict out of proportion (and that she may have been complicit in that). As a result, Abby continues to have no qualms with slaughtering Seraphites. On the morning of the first day, Abby doesn’t hesitate because they're all just religious lunatics to her, and she continues to have this attitude at the end of the third day, Lev being the only exception. There's complete absence of self-reflection, admittance of fault, or desire to change her way of thinking from Abby's side, so where exactly is her supposed character growth? Ultimately, Abby believes to be 100% justified and her enemies to be 100% at fault (this goes for both the Seraphites and Ellie). But there is another problem. Even if Abby had undergone a decent arc, learning the error of her ways, or at the very least realizing how her years of blind loyalty and narrow-mindedness led to unjust, meaningless bloodshed, it would ultimately be irrelevant unless she also drew a connection to her misdeeds against Joel and Ellie. Her supposed “redemption arc” during the three days in Seattle is entirely removed from what she did in Jackson. Thus, even if her arc was well-written and brilliantly executed, she would have at most redeemed herself with regard to the WLF/Seraphite conflict. Let me quickly illustrate why: in a hypothetical situation where I set your house on fire and then immediately afterwards cross the street to give a homeless person 100 dollars, would I have repented myself in your eyes? Would you absolve me of my crimes against you? No, because these two acts are entirely independent of each other. I have not shown repentance towards you or made amends for the injustice you suffered because of my actions. Similarly, Abby has not redeemed herself in my eyes, even in the hypothetical best-case scenario where she undergoes a well-crafted and fantastically executed redemption arc in Seattle (which would give me something to work with at least). Unless she makes the connection and expresses some sort of regret or remorse for what she’s put Ellie through, it is impossible for her to redeem herself regarding this offense and that’s the redemption I was interested in seeing. Some players seem to hold the belief that Abby doesn't need to redeem herself for killing Joel. I cannot argue with that. All I can do is illustrate my position, I believe that her actions were wrong, particularly regarding Ellie who had absolutely no part in killing her father. Hence, I expected – in some way even demanded – a redemption arc, at least if I was ever expected to come around to Abby.

I went into her section looking forward to seeing things from her perspective, wanting to latch onto her personality and get engrossed in her arc, but was ultimately let down. And I wanna make this absolutely clear: Abby does not need to regret having killed Joel in order to redeem herself (both in the audience's and in Ellie's eyes). Her motivation is after all understandable, much like Ellie's is. Still, I would have liked to see her feeling regret for having killed Joel in such an exceptionally and unnecessarily brutal and sadistic way. Perhaps Abby could realize that Isaac's years of training turned her into a heartless, unfeeling killing machine, and that this “darker side” of her came even more to the forefront during that highly emotional moment in the ski lodge. Perhaps, in retrospect, the fact that, despite Ellie's repeated crying and pleading, Abby still went through with killing Ellie’s father figure right in front of her eyes, is slowly starting to gnaw at her conscience (since Abby has been in a similar situation). Just imagine a confrontation between these two women where they actually get to have a conversation with each other. Imagine Abby eventually expressing regret, apologizing to Ellie for having caused her so much suffering. How would that effect Ellie who has been desperate to kill this woman up until this point (in this alternative, hypothetical story)? I cannot express how much potential for compelling dialogue and really powerful drama lies in this alternative scenario. In this version, Abby, who gave into her darkest impulses due to her anger and sadness and insatiable need for vengeance, could ultimately, through self-reflection, realization and asking for forgiveness (a.k.a. actual character growth), prevent Ellie from going down a similarly dark path. And I am in no way implying that this is the only direction this story could have gone that I would have accepted, but I needed to be given something at least. But we were denied all of this. No critical self-assessment, no admission of guilt, no want to redeem herself in the eyes of the people whom she wronged. And thus, Abby's potential redemption arc turns to dust. Now I feel the need to address another incredibly large issue I have with Abby, not as a character within a story, but as a person within the universe. Because unfortunately I am not convinced that I’d be capable of coming around to her even if all these major issues were fixed. And the reason for this being numerous independent acts which I am not able to overlook or excuse. Beginning with her sleeping with Owen. Completely ignoring the fact that him and Abby talk about torturing someone only to 5 seconds later do the devil’s tango (which is quite frankly one the most disturbing things I’ve ever had to witness), I personally find infidelity an inexcusable offense. There is not a single good reason not to be honest with your partner, not to resist your impulses, not to do the right thing. The fact that Mel is about to bring Owen’s child into this world is not exactly helping either. And with this one act (of which I’m to this day unsure why it was included in the game at all? What purpose did that sex scene serve apart from traumatizing me for life?) the writers pretty much sealed the deal for me regarding my opinion of Abby, all the goodwill that might have been left completely eradicated. But I had no idea what profoundly disturbing and repellent things were yet to come. On Day 3, after Abby followed Lev onto the island and he just lost his sister, Abby, in order to ensure they escape the island together, goes on to mow down WLFs and Seraphites alike. For one, the matter of fact is that there would have been plenty other ways to get out of that situation, for instance: a) Why do they not return to the boat with which they came (and landed on a very remote part of the island with)? I know they offer some bs throw-away line from Yara about hearing gunshots coming from there, but honestly anything would be smarter than going through the main battle that’s going on in Haven.

But no, we can’t have characters make rational decisions, we need another cool action set piece, goddammit. b) In that confrontation with Isaac (I still can’t get over how they actually ran into him, like what are the odds of this) why wouldn't Abby just tell Isaac that she wants Lev to herself, that she wants to take her sweet time torturing him? Don’t tell me Isaac wouldn’t be on board with that. But then Abby and Lev would be able to escape the island no problem, and we need to show how much Abby cares about Lev (who she met 24 hours ago btw) by having her willingly accept getting shot to protect him. We can’t have Abby making rational decisions that would ensure both her own and the kid’s survival she apparently so desperately cares for, we need another cool action set piece, goddammit. What I am trying to illustrate is that there would have been more than one alternative to avoid having to kill her own comrades. But no, Abby instead opts for the way that not only takes longer and is much riskier but is also the one that forces her to kill her own comrades/friends. (Me criticizing the stupidity of the character's actions is obviously by extension a critique of the poor writing, since a more creative/more talented writer would have come up with logical, sensical ways to get to this plot point/action set piece. I'm not criticizing the fact they prioritize a certain plot point, but there's ways to reach those in more organic, logical, non-contrived ways.) And what does Abby have to say when Lev asks her about just having killed dozens of her own people? “It doesn’t matter.”. Mind you, these are the people she has spent the past four years with, the family and the home she was granted after having lost that in Salt Lake City (keep in mind how much effort they put into showing us how chummy Abby was with literally everyone during Day 1 too). And she ploughs through them with absolute apathy. No hesitation, no moral dilemma, no inner conflict, nothing. This woman is a literal sociopath. And I know it sounds like it couldn’t get any worse, and yet. I think my absolute favorite thing about Abby has to be how selfless and empathic she is. Only take the scene at the end of day three where she finds Owen and Mel dead in the aquarium. What is the next thing Abby does? She drags a 13-year-old child into a combat situation, a child who has recently been through five – count them five!!! – severe traumatic events within the last three days. a) He was excommunicated from his community, whose members then went on to hunt him and his sister down for sport. b) His sister lost her arm trying to protect him, nearly dying in the process. c) He had to kill his mother in self-defense because she was so unable to accept him for who he is to the point of attempting to kill him. d) He lost his sister whose last act was saving his life once again. e) He watched the community he’s been a part of his entire life being slaughtered in front of his eyes while his home and the physical manifestation of his faith, their place of worship, burned and razed to the ground. This 13-year-old child needs all the affection, attention, compassion, support and time in the world to be able to cope with all this. But unfortunately, Lev is stuck with Abby, who couldn’t care less. As soon as she finds her two friends dead, Lev’s struggles are immediately brushed aside. So much so that she drags him along, willingly putting his life at risk again while also expecting him to be capable of focusing enough to assist/aid her. “I know you – a literal child – just lost everything that made up your sense of identity and belonging, but I really liked my two friends, so shut up, we need to focus on me first.” And people expect me to like this person? Of all the things Abby did that make her the most psychotic, despicable, and morally reprehensible person, this one might take the cake for me personally. How far up your own a**, how far removed from any capability of showing empathy do you have to be to act this way?

It seems to me that she does not care about Lev after all (only when we need a cool action set piece where she kills all her friends – she does it out of love for this random kid though, so it’s okay). And yet there remains one final moment, one decision, one act that we need to talk about – when Abby reacts with glee upon hearing she is about to slit a pregnant woman’s throat. And once again, if it wasn’t for the presence of a literal child, she would have gone through with it. I've heard claims in defense of this heinous act such as she deems it retribution for Mel's death. And I don’t know about you, but I didn’t get the impression she liked Mel all that much, especially considering she barely bestows a glance at Mel’s lifeless body, she instead cries over Owen. Let's compare her to Ellie for a moment, as people often tend to, thinking it would benefit their defense of Abby: When Ellie confronts Mel and Owen in the aquarium, she makes it clear from the very first second that she is not interested in them, but in Abby (prioritizing the actual perpetrator as opposed to mere (somewhat innocent) bystanders). And I’m gonna have to rant for a second about how utterly dumb and contrived this whole scene is: a) Why exactly is Mel there to begin with? Why is a woman as heavily pregnant as she is even allowed outside the base, much less in a combat situation? (It almost seems like the writers needed to make sure there’s a pregnant woman around for Ellie to kill, no matter how nonsensical and contrived it might be, especially considering we’re in a post-apocalyptic world where pregnant women would be the most valued (and thus most protected) members of society, seeing how they literally ensure the survival of humankind.) b) Mel conveniently wears a big ass coat that hides her belly, when every other second we see her throughout the game she has it on full display so that everyone can immediately tell how heavily pregnant she is. c) Why in the world would the first thing out of Mel’s mouth not be that she’s pregnant? Someone’s holding a pistol to her face and she doesn’t even consider pleading to Ellie to spare her and her child? That Owen doesn’t say anything is even funnier, but we already knew that he doesn’t care about Mel and his own child, so. d) Why would they refuse to give Ellie the information? Not only has it been established that Mel doesn’t care too much about Abby, there should be no dilemma for her when it comes to choosing between protecting her own child and ratting Abby out. But also: Abby is on the Seraphite island where an attck is currently taking place? What are the odds of a) Abby surviving that in the first place, b) Ellie actually managing to get there, and c) Ellie surviving, finding and killing Abby? You have absolutely no good reason to not give up Abby's location, you have nothing to lose and only your own and your child’s life to save. e) Why the hell would Owen approach Ellie who is holding a gun to his pregnant girlfriend’s face? Yeah, sure, don’t comply with her, she can only kill the three of you within milliseconds. (Like, I want so badly to empathize with these people, but it’s really difficult when they continue to be so utterly stupid and incompetent.) f) Ellie, if you threaten someone with a gun, you make sure they don’t come within a two-meter radius of you. And if they don’t back the f*ck up, you shoot them in the kneecap. Then you point the gun at the preggo lady and tell her you’re gonna kill Owen unless she gives you the information you want. Why are you suddenly the most idiotic and incompetent human being? You see, we can’t have characters make rational decisions, we need to show that Ellie is the evilest person to ever exist, no matter how contrived and nonsensical all the events leading up to it are (including discarding Ellie of her core characteristics and skills). Look, she killed an unborn child! Yeah, sounds fine in theory, only problem being:

a) Ellie didn’t know Mel was pregnant b) they attacked her first, she killed them in self-defense c) she had a complete mental breakdown when she found out Kinda the exact opposite of Abby, wouldn’t you agree? Abby knew Dina was pregnant, neither Ellie nor Dina was a threat to her any longer, and she was thrilled to take Dina’s (and her baby’s) life. You can try however hard you like to convince me that Abby is somehow justified here or that she’s a morally grey character, but no matter how you slice it, chief, that is not morally grey, that is repellent and disturbing. I have now done everything in my power to illustrate as detailed and thorough as I was able to why Abby did not have a redemption arc and why both the absence of her arc as well as her deeds independent of it led me to have as strong a negative opinion of her as I do, both as a character within a story and a person within the universe the story is set in. Another question that could be posed, however, and the final thing I wanna address, is whether Abby even needs a redemption arc. After all, there’s a plethora of despicable, morally reprehensible, detestable, and downright loathsome characters in popular media who are widely beloved regardless (we collectively have a soft spot for villains it seems). And I think I’d be much more forgiving if the overall consensus was that yes, Abby is a horrible person, but some people enjoy her regardless because she’s still a well-written character. And if that is your personal stance I would never bash you for that. It only gets exceptionally annoying when the game itself seems to imply that I am a bad person if I do not end up liking Abby. And not for their lack of trying, no, they really tried to a comical degree. This essay is way too long already so I will just quickly outline a fraction of all the cheap and manipulative tactics this game uses to trick us into siding with Abby. a) Play fetch with the dogs that you were forced to kill in earlier parts of the game, don’t you feel bad? No, I do not. The alternative was dying, I did what anyone in that situation would have done. I do not feel bad for protecting Ellie's life. b) Do you hear that sweet Gustavo soundtrack? The one that so many players associate with all the good feelings the first game elicited in them? The one that so well encompasses the “The Last of Us” experience? Yeah, we’ll play it mostly during Abby’s parts of the story and leave it out of Ellie’s (except for the prologue/epilogue), so you feel more inclined to sympathize with Abby. c) Look at how precious Abby is with her kid side character, it’s such a lovely and heartwarming dynamic, reminds me of someone else but I can’t quite put my finger on it. No, we couldn’t have possibly written a different dynamic that doesn’t play on the player’s preexisting emotional associations. How could the audience possibly empathize/connect to a dynamic that isn’t a replica of Joel’s and Ellie’s? d) Look at all those mechanics and weapons in Abby’s gameplay, the strangling people, the shivs, the ladders, the flamethrower/hunting pistol (El Diablo), isn’t it reminiscent of playing as Joel in the first game? Yes, we will continue to shamelessly exploit your emotional investment in characters from the first game (while simultaneously doing everything to thoroughly obliterate said characters you have such a strong connection to). e) Who would have thought? Abby had a dad who was such a good guy, saving Zebras in his spare time (which by the way is so laughable, that’s something a 10-year-old would come up with to make his character sympathetic). Doesn’t really cancel out the fact that he got a hard-on at the chance of killing a 14-year-old child, but he was such a good guy though.

And don’t you love how we once again feel the need to replicate Ellie’s and Joel’s relationship to such a comical degree? Collecting artefacts (cards/coins), bonding over an exotic animal (giraffe/zebra), teasing my daughter about her potential boyfriend (Jesse/Owen), the day trip to a place that becomes like a safe haven to us (museum/aquarium). The main problem I have with these tactics/parallels is that they do not serve any narrative function. They never amount or lead to anything, never play a part in a character’s arc (e.g.: one them reevaluating their opinion of the other because they share similar origins/motivations) or serve to elevate the themes/message during a crucial emotional pay-off. None of these things ever influence the plot, influence a character’s motivation/goals, heightens/showcases/elevates the themes of the story, meaning they do not serve any narrative purpose. And thus, their only remaining function is to manipulate the audience. All these framing devices ultimately reveal that the writers were clearly biased towards one of our two protagonists. They do not hold Ellie and Abby to the same standard. Abby gets her revenge, never aims to forgive Ellie or be the bigger person, and still gets off nearly scott-free, with her life, Lev by her side and the promise of finding the Fireflies. Compared to Ellie who doesn't get her revenge, is expected to be the bigger person by forgiving Abby and still loses everything in the process. Pretty biased for a story that is supposedly about how there's no good or bad side – the writers clearly seem to think there is. Compare this to our introduction to Joel in the first game. One of the first character defining actions we see him take is abandon another family on the side of the road because Joel is the kind of guy that prioritizes taking care of his own. That is who he is. And the game simply presents this to us, never telling us how to feel about it. Similarly, I think it would have worked much better if they made Abby a character defined by clearly setting herself apart from Ellie (instead of ham-fisting all these not-so-subtle parallels in) and letting me make up my own mind about her, instead of constantly and patronizingly forcing me to feel a certain way. If you write a complex, multi-dimensional, compelling character, chances are I will be able to connect to or at least appreciate that character, no matter how villainous, despicable, and loathsome they might be. I personally adore Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones. And she is an absolute c*nt. I actively despise her within the confines of the story because she continuously tears down my other favourite characters in the most horrific ways. Yet I absolutely adore the artistry, talent and creativity put into creating such a complex and intriguing character, so much so that she is my all-time favourite character. I know the difference between liking a character because they're well-written and liking a character because they're a good person. However, “I don’t like this character because they’re a shitty person, no matter how well-written they might be” is a strong enough argument regardless. A character being a horrible person is justification enough for someone to not like that character. If Abby were well-written, the writers would not have felt the need to resort to blatant and transparent emotional manipulation to force us to feel a certain way about her. The fact that such a large portion of the audience still failed to connect to Abby is not a reflection of the audience’s inability to feel empathy for morally grey characters (again, even the most horrendous villains are often beloved, as long as they are well-written), but instead a reflection of how much the writers failed to create a complex, compelling character we would want to root for.

Joel did not doom humanity (no matter how much the second game wants you to believe that)

To demonize Joel’s decision at the end of the first game (saving his surrogate daughter’s life) you need to bend over backwards and ignore any and all context the first game gave us with regards to who the Fireflies truly are. Because the truth of the matter is: a) they knocked Joel unconscious while he was trying to revive a young girl b) they drugged Ellie immediately to tear her body apart for their needs c) THEY DID NOT ASK ELLIE FOR PERMISSION to give her life for their cause, they didn’t even tell her she would have to die (Ellie was making plans with Joel after the giraffe scene, “Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want. Okay?”, clearly indicating she had no idea she would have to die) d) they did not let Ellie and Joel see each other to say their goodbyes e) they were about to walk Joel out into the wilderness without any of his gear/resources, which during the zombie apocalypse is a certain death sentence f) they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain (remember how Marlene promised Joel guns in return for delivering Ellie?) So even if you show them as much goodwill as possible, the Fireflies are still a bunch of assholes. If the exact opposite had happened, they let Joel go all on good terms and then he suddenly decided to turn around and murder everyone I would have called him a terrible person, but that is not what happened. As it stands, the Fireflies are shady and questionable at best. But it actually gets worse:

a) the procedure that would 100% kill Ellie had an incredibly low success rate (the doctor mentioned in his recording that every previous operation with other test subjects had failed) b) the same recording mentions cerebrospinal fluid having been extracted, meaning they were capable of performing a non-lethal spinal tab, but they’re unable to perform a non-lethal biopsy or craniotomy on Ellie? (this may seem like nit-picking, but actually further solidifies my point about how incompetent the Fireflies/Abby’s dad were/was) c) to add to their immense incompetence, mere hours after receiving Ellie they decide to IMMEDIATELY KILL THE ONLY PERSON KNOWN TO BE IMMUNE as oppose to keeping her alive for as long as possible to run every single test in existence on her. But let's paint a picture of the best case scenario, which is Jerry, the absolute legend that he is, actually manages to get a vaccine out of Ellie, what happens then? a) How are the Fireflies, who are nearly extinct at this point, supposed to MASS PRODUCE and NATIONWIDE DISTRIBUTE a vaccine? That is logistically impossible. b) More than likely, they would use the vaccine as a bargaining chip against FEDRA (granted, this is more a guess than a fact, but to believe they wouldn’t take advantage of the vaccine in the fight for political power against the government they’ve been fighting for years is beyond naïve). But let’s be even more generous: turns out the Fireflies are the most altruistic resistance group to have ever existed, they actually manage to produce and distribute the vaccine into every last corner of the country, everyone is immune. What now? a) You might be immune to spores and bites, but your immunity doesn’t help you when a clicker rips your throat out or a bloater crushes you to death, the infected can still kill you in numerous other ways. b) The faction wars going on are not gonna disappear overnight. WLF and Seraphites will continue to kill each other by the dozens every day, one could even argue that introducing a vaccine into the conflict would only cause things to escalate further. c) Numerous cannibals, hunters and bandits still roam the country, they will not abandon their practices overnight and they are arguably a much bigger threat than the infected to begin with. Just because everyone is immune does not mean that the world returns to sunshine, rainbows, and flowers. To imply that it would, means being simplistic and naive beyond reason. It should be obvious by now that Ellie’s death WOULD NOT HAVE IMPROVED ANYTHING. The chances of actually getting a vaccine are slim to none, the chances of vaccinating everyone are even more dour, and even then the overall situation would not improve much. With such bad prospects I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice my child either. (I am aware that an argument can be made that none of these factors had an impact on Joel’s decision to save Ellie, yet they’re still crucial when making a judgement about the Fireflies/Abby’s dad). To summarize: a) Abby’s dad was incompetent and a horrible person (his conversation with Abby in the second game tells us that he would not be willing to sacrifice his own child, but if it’s someone else’s it’s a-okay for him). b) The Fireflies were a malicious and incompetent terrorist group with messed up morals. c) No, Joel did not doom humanity. Subsequently, Abby’s quest for revenge was not justified because the Fireflies and her dad were never justified in their actions to begin with. And this is only solidified by the second game having to retcon the hell out of all these arguments I just painstakingly illustrated and explained in order to even attempt to have Abby’s motivation be seen as justified. Only one example being how it was clearly established in the first game that they had MULTIPLE doctors in Salt Lake City (Marlene: “The doctors tell me that the cordyceps, the growth inside her, has somehow mutated.”; Ellie: “She said that they have their own little quarantine zone. With doctors there still trying to find a cure.”). Yet in the second game we are told by

Abby that actually no, turns out her dad was the only doctor that could have developed vaccine. And it doesn't take mental gymnastics to see why the second game takes it upon itself to alter most of the context of the first one: to (retroactively!) condemn Joel. HOWEVER, a sequel doesn’t get to pick and choose which established facts from the first entry it builds upon or what it gets to retroactively declare as non-canon only to have it fit their preferred narrative. Quite frankly, that’s bad writing. A sequel, in order to be considered well-written, has to not only be a natural continuation of the events, but has to stay consistent with the characters and the world that were previously set up. And if you have to alter much of the context to make it look like Joel condemned the world, isn't that the most obvious sign that he never actually did? And all of this effort for just one goal: to justify Abby’s quest for revenge and yet it still wasn’t and here’s why: Joel killed her dad in order to PREVENT HIM FROM KILLING HIS DAUGHTER. Abby on the other hand WILFULLY SLOW TORTURED Joel for what appears to be hours, prolonging his death for as long as possible, all for her own gratification (and we won't mention how she went through with it despite Ellie's crying and pleading). And don’t even try to make the argument about Abby wanting “justice”, Joel didn’t torture her dad out of revenge or for his own gratification - this is not justice, this is simply sadistic. A man killing someone who is about to murder their child in semi-self-defense cannot be compared to someone wilfully slow torturing someone to death for their own gratification, like Jesus, I didn’t think I’d have to spell that one out. I am aware that the second game tries to do whatever it can, including retconning their own original story, to paint Ellie and (especially!) Joel as evil. And for a considerable amount of the player base this actually worked, and while I cannot find it in me to condemn them (we all experience stories differently after all), I reserve the right to reject arguments in defense of Abby such as “all people are forced to do bad things during the apocalypse” and “does context even matter?”. If the only way you can defend/justify Abby's actions is to remove all context and nuance, then your reasoning is built on quicksand.

Ellie’s (lack of a) character arc & why the result is an unsatisfying story

Let’s state the obvious: Ellie does not have a character arc in The Last of Us Part 2. A character arc is defined as a gradual transformation or inner journey of a character in response to changing developments in the story. And you may argue that Ellie from the beginning of the game is not the same as the one at the end of the game, and I would agree with you. She went from a woman consumed by revenge (not really but we will stick with that for now) to a woman able to forgive her aggressor and move on. However, there are problems with this supposed inner change on multiple levels. a) the change is not gradual b) the change comes out of nowhere c) the change is not informed by anything I don’t think there’s any need to thoroughly explain the first statement. Ellie has the same goal from the beginning to the very last second before attaining her goal. At no point in the story is she self-reflective, questions her methods, there’s no moral dilemma for her, no inner conflict, no doubt that causes her to put her own actions into a new perspective and possibly change her motivation. From beginning to end she believes to be 100% justified in her goal to kill Abby. Subsequently, if Ellie were actually consumed by revenge, the only logical conclusion to her story would be for her to eventually drown Abby.

Which neatly leads me to the next point: her change comes out of nowhere. The decision to let Abby go, as is implied by the narrative, is triggered by a random, arbitrary flashback of Joel. First of all, the timing here is outright comical. For what reason is she having this specific flashback at this very moment? Sounds like contrived, convenient bs to me to give the appearance that her decision is informed by something (which it isn’t, and we'll get to that in a moment). Second of all, getting a flashback to the most important person in your life that has been brutally murdered in front of you, seeing an image of what could have been and what was unjustly taken from you, is not gonna inspire you to forgive your aggressor. If anything, it would make you more determined and sadistic. And third of all, I hear you all yelling "but it was a flashback to their conversation about forgiveness and that inspired her to forgive Abby." And I have multiple qualms regarding this line of thinking. Number one, forgiving the person you love most in this world for having lied to you cannot be compared to forgiving the person who brutally took said person from you. This actually further accentuates my previous point, this is the person that robbed you of your opportunity for reconciliation. Implying that Ellie's thought process here is „I wanted to forgive Joel, but this person robbed me of any opportunity to, so I have to forgive her” is muddled, nonsensical and quite frankly unrealistic. And number two, is the implication here that this is the first time Ellie has thought back to that conversation? That’s a whole new level of nonsense. She will have reflected on all moments with Joel, including this one, and yet at no point prior to this moment had she considered even the possibility of forgiveness, as I have illustrated earlier. So why now? Very obviously to get a payoff, which was neither set up nor properly developed. And moving on to my last point: it is not informed by anything. I know a lot of players didn’t want Ellie to kill Abby, and even I felt that way at first, albeit presumably for entirely different reasons (I was so drained and removed from the narrative by that point that I only thought to myself "just go home, you psychos"). But upon reflection, I concluded that that would have been an unsatisfying conclusion narratively speaking. Nevertheless, Abby seems to have grown dear to many players. After all, they have spent several hours with her, they have seen her struggle, overcome her obstacles, fight for what she believes to be right. Their feelings towards Abby are informed by the person they have seen her to be and by the experiences they went through with her. Yet Ellie is missing all of that context. She has not been with us throughout our three days in Seattle, she doesn’t know Abby outside of her having horrifically killed Joel and she has not gained any new information that would lead her to change her opinion about her. And so, we have another example of the story making characters do things that are not informed by anything, for the sake of a poor payoff. And since we're talking about characters acting nonsensically, let's talk about the roughly three minutes leading up to Ellie nearly drowning Abby, shall we? Ellie approaches the beach absolutely determined to find and kill Abby (repeatedly murmuring Abby’s name to herself). Yet when she reaches the pillars, she cuts Abby down, letting her free Lev and follows them to the boats, indicating that Ellie has changed her mind, showing pity/empathy upon seeing Abby a mere shadow of her former self. And yet again, we have Ellie acting in a way she never has before. She didn’t have pity for Nora who was coughing her lungs out, or for Jordan who had advocated for letting her live, or for any other innocent WLF or Seraphite that came in between her and killing Abby. But the one person she holds a grudge against to the point of killing hundreds of innocent people without batting an eye, that is the person she is suddenly capable of feeling pity/empathy for? Is it really that surprising that Ellie's actions here feel forced, uncharacteristic, and illogical? But it actually gets worse. In an additional display of Druckmann not knowing how humans work, we have Ellie putting her backpack with all her gear in the boat, looking at her bloody hand and then remembering "Oh yeah, that's the woman who killed Joel. I almost forgot.” And at this point in my playthrough I was laughing out loud. And so, we have Ellie all of sudden determined to kill Abby again, so much so that she is willing to threaten an innocent child’s life (this by the way was the final nail in the coffin for me, they thoroughly obliterated Ellie’s character throughout the entire game, but this goes against the very core of her being). And we know the rest, they fight, Ellie nearly kills Abby but eventually lets her go. To summarize what happened in the three minutes before our big emotional payoff to our 25 hour-long journey of playing this epitome of misery porn: Ellie has 3 - count them 3!!! - changes of heart. Her motivation does a perfect 180 almost every minute. This is not how people work! That’s lazy, contrived beyond believe, and borderline comical levels of writing, because Druckmann prioritized having a final boss battle on a beach over organic, coherent, and logical storytelling (but I guess it was worth it for the goddamn visuals). However, what’s most infuriating is that there are such easy fixes if one only thinks about it for more than two minutes that could erase nearly all for the major issues I just illustrated while maintaining the plot points of the two fighting on a beach and Ellie letting Abby go. If we have Ellie walk to the beach immediately, finding Abby there untying the boat (Lev nearly passed out in the boat, Ellie not seeing him) and she then attacks Abby, immediately we have erased two of Ellie’s changes of heart, she remains consistent in her goals/motivation, not jumping back and forth between two extremes. The two women fight much like we see it in the game, and then as Ellie is about to finish it, we hear Lev calling out to Abby. And there we have our motivation for Ellie to not kill her. Not because she gets a random, convenient flashback, not because she forgives Abby (Abby has done nothing to earn Ellie’s forgiveness), not because Abby has earned her redemption, but because Ellie cannot find it in her to put an innocent child through the pain Abby has put her through. Because at the end of the day, Ellie’s hatred for Abby does not outweigh her capacity for compassion and empathy for those deserving of it (a core characteristic of hers that was established in the first game). Because Ellie would rather let an individual live that is undeserving of it than cause the same pain she was put through to an innocent child that is undeserving of it. Granted, if we were to go with this ending, we would still have to build towards it properly and therefore would have to tweak the rest of the game, mainly by showing Ellie being self-reflective, merciful towards innocents, and even doubtful about her goals at times to make her final decision informed by prior developments in order to have the character arc actually be a gradual transformation leading to a logical conclusion. I have been a writer for nearly 4 years now, which means I am in no way an expert, or the most creatively talented person around and yet I would argue that this ending would be much more satisfying to most players than the alternative we were presented with. Because as it stands, none of our actions or decisions (and yes that is something important to consider when we are working within the medium of video games), or Ellie’s for that matter, lead up to this conclusion. The conclusion to this story, the final moment, the big emotional payoff hinges on a random flashback, not on any other developments that previously occurred in the story. Subsequently rendering all of the 25 hours entirely pointless, none of it had an influence on the finale, none of it mattered narratively speaking. So, is it even a surprise that many found this to be dissatisfying? I noticed a few people who are fond of Abby accusing people feeling differently of having too much of an emotional bias or even going as far as to say they are less emotionally intelligent. This is problematic for two reasons, a) different people have different reasons for disliking Ellie’s final choice. Some still hate Abby as much as in the beginning, others feel drained and indifferent, and others still feel similarly to how I feel in that it’s mainly narratively dissatisfying. And b) the same story can have a different effect on any amount of people (otherwise, we would have settled the discussion about what the greatest movie all of time is long ago). My point being, that no matter how you feel about this particular story you are 100% justified in feeling this way, and yes that includes people that by the end of the game still hate Abby just as much as they did the moment she bashed Joel’s skull in. That does not necessarily have to be personal bias, more often than not it’s the ability to see through the storytelling techniques used, rendering them mostly ineffective for these people (and I include myself in this). I wanted Ellie to kill Abby not because I was unable to empathize with her or couldn’t see past my own personal bias, but because that would have been the logical, narratively satisfying conclusion to this specific story.

It’s my birthday! :•)

Would love to hear your favorite fics, blurbs, headcannons, etc. for birthdays! 😇

Masterlist

♡ - SFW | ☆ - NSFW

ABBY ANDERSON

HEADCANONS DRABBLES FICS SERIES

ELLIE WILLIAMS

HEADCANONS DRABBLES FICS SERIES

JOEL MILLER

HEADCANONS DRABBLES FICS SERIES

Rules for Requests

♡ Requests are open. ♡

ᯓ♡ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (MDNI)

My works are not suitable for minors/users who are under the age of 18. Please do not send in requests or interact with my posts (reblogging, liking, etc.) if you are not of age.

ᯓ♡ I write for...

THE LAST OF US: Abby Anderson Ellie Williams Joel Miller

ᯓ♡ I accept SFW AND NSFW resquests.

ᯓ♡ I use feminine and/or gender neutral pronouns and descriptors for requests.

ᯓ♡ I will NOT write for...

Male Readers Intense and/or Offensive Paraphilic Requests Underage/Minor Characters or Readers

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This is Drie speaking: twenty one | ⚢ | aries

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rules masterlist

Please someone give me the link to all the extra aftg content (I’m desperate for the crumbs)

i’m finally finally reading the aftg extra content and

omg?? ive seen some people post about this before but reading it on my own is just another feeling like he was freaking out after neil got kidnapped and it hurts to read but also omg

THE LAST OF US SPOILERS AHEAD

are u kidding me 😭😭

the ONE tv adaptation that wants to actually stay true to the source material and it has to be this one ??? 😭😭😭 NOOOOO

them: abby's physique would be impossible to obtain in a post-apocalyptic environment and without the help of steroids. if you like her body, it's because you're too stupid to understand that women don't build muscle like that naturally

me, an intellectual: vaudeville performers and strongwomen from the late 1800s and early 1900s

What does a girl have to do to find a good slow burn 😭😭

Like I just wanna read about how a character over time falls in love with y/n, I keep finding a good one then the author either stop posting/ the ending is terrible or it isn’t even a slow burn. When I say slow I mean SLOW I don’t wanna see them kiss until 30 chapters in - like what happened to actually going through the effort of taking the time to fit y/n actually in the story. like don’t get me wrong I love au! But I really just wanna plan fanfic where I see myself in these crazy situations!

Guys please I’ll take any recommendation im multi fandom!😭💔

Do u guys have any tlou fanfics recommendations I’m literally so tired of (smut) where’s the drama!?!?! Please I’m literally so bored now at days 😭

Guys I’m literally going insane

I’m losing my mind here there was this one fanfic where it was Ellie x reader x addy and it was literally soo fire it was about how you the reader were working with addy to get her revenge but actually knew Ellie from a long time ago so u ended up telling her about addy then addy finds out u told her then likes beats the life out of you 😭but after some time she realizes what she did was wrong so goes back and tries to find you or smt I couldn’t find the rest after that

PLEASE HELP ME 😭😭 

gonna be a hard few weeks for abby defenders

i will always be an abby defender

god she makes it hard though

DUMBASS REASONS why ppl hate my abby anderson

(im going crazy istg)

1 the most popular reason: “she killed joel”

why did she kill him?:

because joel killed her father ➡️ so she kills him

reasonable— basic revenge and valid reason🫶🏻

i mean if sm1 killed my dad i would very much kill them too not kiss their ass 🤷

2: “shes too bricked and non-feminine”

its a fucking zombie apocalypse 😭 she needs yo defend herself and try to fucking survive

and abt the “non-feminine” part— i DONT think in a zombie apocalypse ppl give a fuck abt looks or feminine or masculine❤️ too busy trying to fucking survive😄

and how is she NOT feminine😭 bcz she has muscles??? that bitches hair is to her ASS and she BRAIDS it like a little girl and literally is inlove w a man and her name is ABIGAIL LMAOAOAOA

thats all🫶🏻 if u hate my abby seriously go kys

seriously why do all fanfics on here are just y/n being a fem and a bimbo or the top possessive crazy bitch

THATS SO FUCKING BORING SM1 MAKE Y/N A SOFT MASC GET FUCKING CREATIVE

literally me when abby anderson: