Autism - Blog Posts
My spoons are, in my opinion, the perfect spoons. They are the right shape and weight and they are the best spoons I've ever eaten from. Do you agree with my opinion? Here are some pictures.
two of my friends are ghosting me but I got diagnosed with autism ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ now I'm confused *and* sad
★ Aatamixx, the Echoflower System's Introduction 💫🪻
Hello, welcome to my blog, I'm Aatami (AKA Mishka or Snep)! Well, that's just collectively speaking. If you're talking about the whole system, you can call me (us) the Echoflower System. My collective pronouns are he/him, but kit/kitself, nya/nyaself, and star/starself are all good too. I'm pretty new to Tumblr (well I had a blog in like 2020, but I've forgotten basically everything about it… also I use parentheses way too much, gosh), but I plan to use this blog as a sort of archive for all the xenogenders I've coined, as well as getting into the MOGAI and plural communities on here. I hope I can find my people on this website. /lh
(This post will be periodically edited as things about myself change, of course.)
★ So Now That I Know This Aatami, Where Can I Find Him? ★
In case you had it in you for even more rambling, you can check out my about me literature on Toyhouse (I use it like a Carrd). More things are already linked there, so I don't need to re-add them all here. I also use the account that it's posted under for posting the occasional bulletin (and storing my original characters, but those are all private and will remain as such for the foreseeable future).
★ Small Facts About the System ★
(Switching to using plural language for this was a little jarring lawl, I'm very much used to referring to myself singularly.)
★ We have OSDD-1B (recognized by our psychologist, but unable to be officially diagnosed due to not being disordered — we've achieved functional multiplicity, surprisingly enough) and are of mixed traumagenic origins
★ We are an aceplex
★ We're a theriosystem
★ We are very male- / masculine-heavy, due to our gender dysphoria affecting everyone
★ Because we're so male-heavy, we default to using he/him instead of they/them when referring to an unspecified alter or one whose gender identity is unknown
★ We're also somewhat angel-heavy
★ Due to our maladaptive daydreaming, our system has countless paracosms (the most active ones of which being the worlds our original stories are set in, as well as our fandoms, especially ones we're hyperfixating on)
★ Our headspace is exclusively set in our daydreams, and is not something that's just there in the background — it has to be consciously visualized and visited (or well, accidentally while zoning out)
★ We are a dreamway system of sorts, but I should mention that we don't experience walk-ins and pretty much none of our alters are paragenic
★ Our alters almost never interact in the headspace, but they can use things like the Simply Plural chat and get a conversation going if need be
★ Alter Signoff Chart ★
(I originally planned to list their roles here too, but I ended up deciding against it, since I'm unsure of what some of their purposes are and uncomfortable with sharing a few others.)
★ The Hosts ★
⚡️💙 = Fritz ★ He/Kit/Spark
🌈🌺 = Sindri ★ He/Kit/Meow/Nya/Star/.Exe
🌀🎧 = Samuel ★ He/Him
❄️🌙 = Mikko ★ He/They/Kit/Nya/Snow/Star
★ Alfred's Subsystem ★
🐾🩸 = Alfred ★ He/Him
🐾🚬 = Ekkehard (Eike) ★ He/Him
🐾🤍 = Kelso ★ He/Him
🐾✨ = Aleksi ★ He/They/Pup
🐾🎀 = Salem ★ She/He/They/Pup
★ Everyone Else ★
☀️🥀 = Akatsuki ★ He/Kit
❓❗️= Alois ★ He/Him
🌻💛 = Asriel ★ He/They
🌹👑 = August ★ He/They
🐦⬛🌙 = Corbin ★ He/Him
🔪🚬 = Dylan ★ He/Him
🐈⬛💜 = Ender ★ Xae/They/He/Kit
📘⭐️ = Felix ★ He/They
🌊🦈 = Finnley ★ He/They
🪽🏹 = Gabriel ★ They/He
🪖🔪 = Ivan ★ He/Him
🐛🌈 = Jeremy ★ He/Him
🍪💖 = Katsumi / Sabrina ★ She/They/He/Kit/Meow/Mew/Nya
🐺🩸 = Lavrentiy ★ He/Him
🌿⚔️ = Malachi ★ He/Him
🍌🦮 = Nanner (trying to think of a new name for himself) ★ He/She/They/Pup
🌐🖥️ = Prototype (trying to think of a new name for himself) ★ He/Him
🥀🗡️ = Reinhard ★ He/Him
🪐🌌 = Saturn ★ He/They/Pup/Star
🎸🧡 = Shalva ★ He/Him
🎀🐇 = Sylvan ★ He/They/Bun
🪳🩸 = Vermin ★ They/He
🗝️🩸 = (Currently undecided on a name for himself, very recently discovered.) ★ He/Him
BE WARNED MUTUALS. A NEW AUTISM HAS BEEN UNLOCKED
Sometimes, I think that no one actually has a personality, and they r all just pretending. Then I remember I'm autistic. And also a theater performance major. I doubt these three things are connected.
I research about autism a lot lately, because I think I might have it. Idk guys, are all people afraid of using words "all", "always", "everybody" and etc? It can probably be a symptom of autism because common trait of autistic people is "often taking things literally" and maybe I use a lot of "probably", "It can be that", "quited often" because of this.
How do u make friends in communities?
I know this is a heavily asked question & I know making friends takes time & effort but like- any tips even?
I've been on the internet for a while & only have made 1 friend ovr the whole time, I understand no one owes me friendship or anything, but it's hard not to feel lonely. I love my friend(/p) with all my heart. & I've tried so many ways 2 make new friends but my efforts never work :c Is there something I can b doing better? I want friends like me ig? (alterhumans, xenogender users, alternative ppl & j-fashion enjoyers ect ect) But like- how??? .·°՞(¯□¯)՞°·.
Being a wolf who also has meow as a vocal stim is so weird, but I also grew up w/ a cat who was older than me, so I picked up like a million traits from him I think
"bizzare" "unique" you cant just call me 50 ways to autistic and leave it (°ㅂ°╬)
i like adding secret meaning to my words-- like how neurotypical people do it
if i postpone my oncoming crisis enough i could avert it with the fifth mainia episode this week :D
The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.
In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.
But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.
"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?
"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.
Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?
It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.
I love rediscovering my old interests bc I already know stuff about it but I get to learn/remember them again and fall in love with them on a deeper level
I think some of you forgot that autistic people sometimes act strange and say things that are poorly worded and speak with incorrect tone and misunderstand or miss social cues because they are autistic
I realized the other day that the reason I didn't watch much TV as a teenager (and why I'm only now catching up on late aughts/early teens media that I missed), is because I literally didn't understand how to use our TV. My parents got a new system, and it had three remotes with a Venn diagram of functions. If someone left the TV on an unfamiliar mode, I didn't know how to get back to where I wanted to be, so I just stopped watching TV on my own altogether.
I explained all this to my therapist, because I didn't know if this was more related to my then-unnoticed autism, or to my relationship with my parents at the time (we had issues less/unrelated to neurodivergency). She told me something interesting.
In children's autism assessments, a common test is to give them a straightforward task that they cannot reasonably perform, like opening an overtight jar. The "real" test is to see, when they realize that they cannot do it on their own, if they approach a caregiver for help. Children that do not seek help are more likely to be autistic than those that do.
This aligns with the compulsory independence I've noticed to be common in autistic adults, particularly articulated by those with lower support needs and/or who were evaluated later in life. It just genuinely does not occur to us to ask for help, to the point that we abandon many tasks that we could easily perform with minor assistance. I had assumed it was due to a shared common social trauma (ie bad experiences with asking for help in the past), but the fact that this trait is a childhood test metric hints at something deeper.
My therapist told me that the extremely pathologizing main theory is that this has something to do with theory of mind, that is doesn't occur to us that other people may have skills that we do not. I can't speak for my early childhood self, or for all autistic people, but I don't buy this. Even if I'm aware that someone else has knowledge that I do not (as with my parents understanding of our TV), asking for help still doesn't present itself as an option. Why?
My best guess, using only myself as a model, is due to the static wall of a communication barrier. I struggle a lot to make myself understood, to articulate the thing in my brain well enough that it will appear identically (or at least close enough) in somebody else's brain. I need to be actively aware of myself and my audience. I need to know the correct words, the correct sentence structure, and a close-enough tone, cadence, and body language. I need draft scripts to react to possible responses, because if I get caught too off guard, I may need several minutes to construct an appropriate response. In simple day-to-day interactions, I can get by okay. In a few very specific situations, I can excel. When given the opportunity, I can write more clearly than I am ever capable of speaking.
When I'm in a situation where I need help, I don't have many of my components of communication. I don't always know what my audience knows. I don't have sufficient vocabulary to explain what I need. I don't know what information is relevant to convey, and the order in which I should convey it. I don't often understand the degree of help I need, so I can come across inappropriately urgent or overly relaxed. I have no ability to preplan scripts because I don't even know the basic plot of the situation.
I can stumble though with one or two deficiencies, but if I'm missing too much, me and the potential helper become mutually unintelligible. I have learned the limits of what I can expect from myself, and it is conceptualized as a real and physical barrier. I am not a runner, so running a 5k tomorrow does not present itself as an option to me. In the same way, if I have subconscious knowledge that an interaction is beyond my capability, it does not present itself as an option to me. It's the minimum communication requirements that prevent me from asking for help, not anything to do with the concept of help itself.
Maybe. This is the theory of one person. I'm curious if anyone else vibes with this at all.
This is a rather personal issue to me. Doctors suggested I had a rare form of brain damage because they couldn't believe a girl could be autistic. It wasn't until multiple MRIS and other scans came back proving it wasn't the case and some other tests that proved that I am in fact autistic.
Expert says many more girls have autism than was thought, and failure to diagnose them can lead to misery
So, basically, what this article is saying is they discovered the way that boys present with autism, went “well that covers 100% of the population surely!” and then didn’t bother figuring out how autism presents in girls.
Girls slip through the diagnostic net, said Attwood, because they are so good at camouflaging or masking their symptoms. “Boys tend to externalise their problems, while girls learn that, if they’re good, their differences will not be noticed,” he said. “Boys go into attack mode when frustrated, while girls suffer in silence and become passive-aggressive. Girls learn to appease and apologise. They learn to observe people from a distance and imitate them. It is only if you look closely and ask the right questions, you see the terror in their eyes and see that their reactions are a learnt script.”
WOW.
Tony Attwood, founder of the first diagnostic and treatment clinic for children and adults with Asperger’s, and author of The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome, agreed with Gould’s estimation of a 2.5:1 ratio of boys to girls. “The bottom line is that we understand far too little about girls with ASDs because we diagnose autism based on a male conceptualisation of the condition. We need a complete paradigm shift,” he said.
WE FIGURED OUT HOW TO DIAGNOSE BOYS AND BECAUSE WE FIGURED THAT WOULD WORK FOR EVERYONE BECAUSE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE SO EXACTLY THE SAME (child psychology would DISAGREE WITH YOU IDIOTS) NOW WE’RE REAL SURPRISED THAT WE FUCKED UP.
This. This is a feminist issue. This is an issue like holy shit there are doctors out there who will deny a female patient who is referred to them because ‘lul girls don’t get austism’. They didn’t think to do any more research because, whatever right? We figured out how to solve the male side of the problem.
This is so wrong on so many levels.
Ranking the NPMD kids on how much and how well I think they mask.
Pete: can mask if absolutely necessary and is pretty good at it, immediately needs time to recharge, main person to handle social situations Him, Ruth, & Richie run into.
Richie: Cannot mask to save his life, doesn’t try to.
Ruth: Cannot mask to save her life, does try to.
Grace: Has been masking severely since she was young it’s so tightly glued to her face she can’t take it off, doesn’t consciously recognize she’s masking, definitely undiagnosed.
Max: Masks any “uncool” interests, mainly masks around his dad, probably undiagnosed.
Steph: Masks alright, mainly masks around the other popular kids, does it subconsciously, maybe undiagnosed.
"TV show about kid who is 100% neurodivergent that got canceled too soon but gained a cult following years later" starterpack
me when I can’t post any art because my hyperfixation is so fucking embarrassing
almost at the point of autism where I pick up my iPad to do fanart (it’s getting bad)
"No, my hyperfocuses are not too extreme."
Classmate: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Classmate: Okay, well, changing the subject, do you have pets? I have a siamese kitten named Lenny.
Me: Oh, yes! Two dogs, three birds, a cat and a toad!
Classmate: Uh- um, quite a few, huh? What are their names? Their breed too?
Me: Well, there's Laios, a golden retriever and border collie mix, Max, a Siberian husky and German shepherd mix, Gray, a Norwegian Forest cat, Eurylochus, a black bird, Odysseus, a robin, Polites, a magpie, and last but not least, Gee, a mud frog, he's kind of chubby.
Classmate:
Classmate: Why do you have a dog named after that guy from Dungeon Meshi, a dog named after Ben 10's uncle, a cat that was clearly named in part by Graystripe from Warrior Cats, three birds literally named after characters from The Odyssey, and a frog named after the protagonist's best friend from Kulipari?
Me: Pffff- WHAT?- Nononononope pff dude, where did you get that from man?-
Classmate: Vallety, I'm Carol's sister.
Me: Ah, right, I forgot about that...
Mary(Carol's big sis): You so used to talk and chatter so much about these things that she picked up this habit from you and now I have to deal with her in my ear processing out loud the tsunami of information that you simply shed on her and the other three!
Me:
Mary: And don't even get me started on THIS! *Points violently at my bag that has more keychains and brooches than zippers and pockets.* or THIS! *She gestures violently at my clothes, which the only ones without a print of something from Marvel or DC or Stranger Things or any anime, is because they were gifts that I had no choice but to accept so as not to be rude, or because they were prints with something that reminded me of an object/item/concept heavily performed/shown/analogized in small niche series like Warrior Cats or Kulipari or etc like that.*
Me: I-
Mary: or THIS! *Points to my accessories, which follow the same logic as my clothes.* or THIS! *points to my hundred unfinished sketch books, full of drawings of the same characters, or random self-insert OCs* J- *Gasping* Just- Admit it. You have a problem.
Me:
Me:
Me: *Take my bike which literally has a sticker of the words "TURTLE POWER" in graffiti font in reference to TMNT and pedals away in despair.*
Mary: YOUR LIL SUCKER- GET BACK HERE! *Chases me down.*
Cara
Misture Autismo+TDAH+Crise de sexualidade+Pressão arterial baixa+Anemia+Pobreza+Arte+Fase de depressão(majoritariamente superada)+Fase de Iniciativas Suicidas(majoritariamente superada)+Leve mudez devido a uma lesão na garganta (cortesia de uma corda e uma iniciativa suicida)/Recorrência a mudez seletiva devido a traumas e então você me terá:
(translation)
Dude
Mix Autism+ADHD+Sexuality crisis+Low blood pressure+Anemia+Poverty+Art+Phase of depression(mostly completely overcome)+Phase of suicidal initiatives(mostly completely overcome)+Light muteness due to a throat injury (courtesy of a rope and a suicidal initiative)/Recurrence of selective muteness due to traumas and then you have me:
"It's okay, angel"
*sends audio*
"Fuck-"
"I forgot for a moment that I am mute"
"And I'm wearing headphones"
my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.
(HBO) Max taking most, if not all, of the direct-to-video 2000s Scooby Doo movies off of their service is probably the first time I’ve cried over the choices made by a streaming service.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH ABRACADABRA-DOO. OR STAGE FRIGHT. OR MUSIC OF THE VAMPIRE. OR LEGEND OF THE PHANTOSAUR.
GIVE ME MY SCOOBY.
(On another note, they did add A LOT of the old shows, INCLUDING A PUP NAMED SCOOBY DOO, so pluses and minuses I suppose.)
hey neurodivergents have u ever doubted ur neurodivergence? like hey what if im overreacting about this neurodivergent shit what if im neurotypical and faking it
Went over to a cute trans girls house, only for her to force me to wash her dishes
i love this sm
I made this for a class assignment on what neurodivergent means to me
Update: I made a Shadow version :)
Edit: Hey guys if you're gonna repost my art on other platforms please ask me before hand, I'd like to know where it's going.
Plus it's fun for me to look at peoples responses on platforms I'm not on ♥️