Bsd Atsushi - Blog Posts

*Insert funny remark*

👏( 'ω' )👏( 'ω' )👏( 'ω' )👏( 'ω' )

Word Prompt: Window

[Art Date: February 4 2025]

I am feeling sick.

Fyodor I love you man, but please, please, let them breath and give them all a break after this whole shit.

akuatsulucy on their first date

Atsushi, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.

Akutagawa: Okay, weretiger.

Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?

Atsushi: Orange soda, please!

Akutagawa: I'll have the strawberry soda.

Lucy: Me too, strawberry soda!!

Atsushi:

Atsushi: What the hell, guys ☹️

Headcanon: Atsushi can only fall asleep when he’s either completely exhausted or when he knows he’s safe.

He rarely got a good nights sleep growing up. Something that carried over when he was abandoned to the streets. He’d walk for hours despite having no energy hoping it would tire him out enough.

The first true good night sleep Atsushi had was during a game night with the Agency. Dazai was in the middle of antagonising Kunikida when Atsushi slump forward.

Luckily he only lightly head butted Dazai’s shoulder.

But he didn’t move.

Dazai was going to ask what was up and then noticed Atsushi was knocked out. He got everyone’s attention and Ranpo deduced it was because Atsushi was exhausted.

Kunikida made a note to make sure Atsushi wasn’t overworking himself (hypocrite.) While Dazai attempted to gently pry Atsushi off him. He froze when Atsushi cried out and clung to Dazai’s arm. His whole body shaking with fear.

Ranpo’s grin left his face, he took off his glasses and simply gestured for Dazai to stay.

Dazai frowned but did so. Running a hand through Atsushi’s hair and reassuring him he was here. It was a relief to them all when Atsushi calmed down. Make an adorable chuffing sound as he did so.

Kunikida questioned what was happening and Kenji said he seen animals on the farm act like this. Ones that were injured or had been mistreated by others would act on edge.

But when they found others that made them feel better they’d act more like themselves.

And stick to the others like glue.

And the Agencies were Atsushi’s glue, his safety.

A blanket was wrapped around Atsushi and in the end they all had a sleepover in the living room of the dorm building.

Because after that none of them could bare to leave Atsushi alone right now. And Atsushi had the best sleep he’d had in years.

Shit dude at this point atsushis gonna be the only option for the transfer

The Wary Weretiger

"You know, I think therapy might be more effective than this." Said Atsushi. He didn't need to turn around to know Akutugawa was rolling his eyes.

"Shut up."

Atsushi raised his hand, catching the orange. "Huh, you even peeled it this time. Must be serious."

He wasn't exactly sure how they got here. Akutagawa had been hunting him down for his bounty.... And than one day just stopped. Somewhere along the lines this had become their routine.

Akutugawa ranted at him, Atsushi sat and ate whatever fruit he'd pick up on the way. Sometimes he'd voice his own opinion and Akutugawa would begrudgingly listen.

It was werid.

But not unwelcome.

It definitely beat having his leg cut off, that's for sure.

"Go on, out with it. I'm busy today." Akutugawa scoffed "and what could you be possibly busy with." Atsushi shrugged "well I still need to get a job."

It didn't matter how much he saved from what he stole from the Orphanage, it wouldn't last him much longer.

"I thought the Agency offered you a position." Said Akutugawa, carefully. As kind as Atsushi was he fought like a caged beast. He could and would ditch Akutugawa if the other offended him.

And Akutugawa didn't want to admit he liked his company.

Atsushi took a bite out of an orange slice "only because of my ability. They're nice people, but I'll find a job myself. Besides that would you my enemy and I am not dealing with that."

His leg would grow back but it was painful. And being on Akutugawa's not bad side was a nice place to be.

Not that Atsushi would admit it.

Akutagawa nodded, he could respect wanting to keep your pride even when you were at rock bottom. But even soo... "Is it so bad for them to want you for your ability?"

Atsushi paused.

"My whole life people have only wanted my ability. They've tried to rip it out of me because they felt entitled to it.... Do you really think I'd want to join an organisation that values it so highly?"

There was an edge to his tone, but also sadness. Akutugawa's eyes went wide in shock.

He unconsciously tugged his coat closer. He wouldn't know what to do if Rashomon was stolen from him.

Akutugawa felt vulnerable just taking a bath, he couldn't imagine how Atsushi felt feeling his ability get ripped out of his skin. It was fortunate that it clearly failed.

It certainly explained Atsushi's distrust of both light and dark.

"I suppose not." Said Akutugawa, going quiet in thought. He went back to his initial question.

"I was once in a situation like yours. I lived in the slums, it was there Dazai found me and I joined the Port Mafia. That became my purpose, and I'm lost without it. But you... You don't have that, and yet you seem satisfied."

Atsushi hummed, thoughtful. "I'm gonna say something, but right or wrong you're not allowed to stab me again."

Akutagawa scoffed.

"I stabbed you one time, stop acting like it was such a big deal.... But very well, I won't stab you."

Atsushi turned to face Akutugawa, putting his orange slices back into a tupperware box. "That isn't your purpose."

Akutagawa is taken aback. He wants to argue but something in him stops him. The way Atsushi spoke to him now was different to how he usually does.

He sounded like Dazai.

Dazai in the quiet moments, the rare moments when Akutugawa hadn't failed him. The all seeing look in his eye as he read Akutugawa like an open book.

"You had a purpose, one you cherished like a second soul. But you lost it. You tried to convince yourself whatever you consider your purpose now is it, but it isn't. And it never will be."

And yet when Atsushi spoke it was kind. It wasn't intended to tear Akutugawa down, quite the opposite. And Akutugawa found himself unable to look away.

"... How do you know this?"

Atsushi smiled, it was small and sad and it didn't fit him like his usual grin did. "You wouldn't be trying so hard to find your purpose if you truly believed you found it."

He looked away, giving Akutugawa some privacy in his own thoughts. "Ask yourself, who were you before the Port Mafia? Who were you back when you were like me? There's you're answer."

Akutagawa frowned, deep in thought. He'd been... He'd been weaker and pitiful. A small child who killed whoever went in his way, but killing hadn't changed in his life.

He was the Port Mafia's Rabid dog, he was still a killer so that wasn't it.

What had he been killing for? In the Port Mafia it was because those were his orders. Because the weak needed to be destroyed to make way for the strong.

Back in the slums it had been for survival. Akutugawa would've died many times over if he'd let those idiots survive. And Gin wouldn't have survived of he hadn't protected her from them.

Akutagawa froze.

... That's what it was. He had been a protector, his reason for killing down in the slums was to protect Gin and his friends.

His friends who were killed on the night Dazai found him... The night Akutugawa lost his purpose and tried to gain another.

But failed.

"I can't get it back." Whispered Akutugawa, suprised that he choked up at the thought. He hadn't thought of them in years.

"You can" Said Atsushi, looking at him again. "The circumstances may have changed, but the core premise is the same. You just have to open yourself up to that."

Open himself up? So Akutugawa had to find something else to protect? That... Didn't seem so hard, given the Port Mafia protected the city from the shadows. And Gin was still with him.

Had it really been infront of him, all this time?

"That's the difference between us" said Atsushi, quietly but Akutugawa caught it. "You had a purpose only to lose it. While I have never had one."

Atsushi chuckled and it was sad again and Akutugawa hated it. He preferred when Atsushi was genuinely happy. When his smile reached his eyes, his eyes that were kind and shined with light.

Now they looked so empty, so sad.

"You think I'm satisfied but I'm not. I have no dreams, no aspirations, my worth is tied entirely to my ability. I live to spite all those that want me dead, to stop them from taking the tiger if I pass on. I have no purpose, not really."

Akutugawa didn't know what to say, all he could do was nod in goodbye when Atsushi left.

He reached down, picking up the half of orange Atsushi saved for him. That he always saved for him, no matter how hard times got.

"You're wrong" he said to the wind as he walked away. "You're so much more than you're ability."

Bsd except Atsushi recognises Sigma.

Because 3 years ago while he was at the the Orphanage, Atsushi wrote in an empty book about how much he wished he had a friend.

And wrote about them going on adventures together.

Sigma smiling at Atsushi as he falls like I'm glad I got to finally meet you, Atsushi.

Now I need Atsushi, Chuuya and Tachihara to all become friends and bond over being experimented on.

Having to deal with torture, and annoying pretentious scientists monologuing about improving and bringing out their full potential.

Mori's just secretly taking notes in the corner and everyone else is horrified.

Headcannon aproved 💯💯

dazai fidgets a bunch, and you can usually tell who he feels close to based on who it is he fidgets . . . with.

he would mess with odasaku and ango's glasses at the bar, grabs kunikida's shoulders and arms and messes with the fabric of his clothes, plays around with atsushi's hair, and messes with just about every bit of chuuya. his hands, his gloves (on more than one occasion he's managed to slip one off and marvel at the ridiculous softness of his skin), his hair, his sleeves, (his face)

the only people to have reciprocated this are oda and chuuya. oda would mess with dazai's hair in the same way the latter now does atsushi's. chuuya would mess with dazai's hands during meetings, sometimes fidgeting as well with the topmost layer of his bandages.

just. dazai not knowing jackshit about normal physical touch and getting his fill in whatever lame ways he can

I forgot that the headmaster is a person and can be buried...

Odasaku, Sasaki, and the orphanage headmaster are all buried in the same cemetery.

So Kunikida, Atsushi, and Dazai all run into each other grave visiting regularly and politely pretend they don’t. They never acknowledge the meaning behind the bouquets brought, even if all of them know the others know flower language. They never acknowledge the tear streaks down Atsushi’s face, or the solemn look on Kunikida’s. Atsushi never points out how the scent of whiskey is always a bit stronger on Dazai’s coat. They never acknowledge the location of their accidental meetings.

Sometimes Kunikida might offer to take them to get food, or Atsushi will offer a random hard candy from his pocket, on colder days Dazai might lend his coat. None of them are really themselves when faced with grief, and none of them will to hold it against each other.

Byakko looks so fluffy and soft

i wanna bury my face in her fur

@j11nko congrats on 2k followers!!! <3

this was a really fun piece to draw, i don't draw animals very often so i hope the tiger isn't too bad! 🐯

Wait-

If kajii and orphanage director both have similar haircut, does that mean that atsushi could've thought at some point that they're the same person?

I mean... They do look similar...

Dazai: Please don't tell anyone but I think I'm a little bit in love with Chuuya.

Atsushi, who genuinely believed the two of them had been married for the past 7 years: ???

Atsushi: Oh.

Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Dazai: And loud!

Dazai: And grumpy!

Dazai: And short!

Dazai: And oblivious to reality!

Chuuya:

Akutagawa: Atsushi hasn't text me back and it's been 15 minutes :(

*meanwhile*

Atsushi: Dazai, does "beautiful" have 3 or 4 O's?

Dazai, fully aware of how to spell beautiful: It has 4.

Atsushi, seeing the cops marching past:

Atsushi, who has done nothing wrong ever: They're coming for me.

Dazai, currently wanted for 138 murders, 312 cases of extortion, and 625 cases of fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes: Yeah, probably.

Atsushi: What is it like to be aspec? I don't really get it.

Dazai: Ok, listen up. Mentally I'm very romantic.

Dazai: Physically I'm asexual.

Dazai: Spiritually I'm a fucking slut.

Atsushi: Yep, makes sense.

Dazai: I hope I get run over.

Atsushi: Aww, come on, it's Christmas! Get in the spirit!

Dazai, sighs: Fine, I hope I get run over by a reindeer.

Atsushi: What was Chuuya like when he was a little?

Dazai: Oh I think you mean young. He's always been little.

Kunikida: Dazai, just ask him out!

Dazai: Absolutely not, there’s no way he’s interested.

Atsushi: *confused* Wait, hold on- Mr. Dazai AND MR. CHUUYA HAVENT BEEN DATING THIS WHOLE TIME???

Dazai: FUCK THIS, FUCK LIFE. ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE HAPPY. I'M NOT ASKING MUCH. HAPPINESS IS GONE FOREVER. IT FLEW OUT THE WINDOW. FROM NOW ON, MY EMO PHASE COMES BACK...

Atsushi: Oh, Dazai, are you ok?

Ranpo: No. He didn't get eras tour tickets.

Atsushi: So is this thing between Dazai and Chuuya supposed to be a secret?

Akutagawa: Hardly, the only people who don’t know are Dazai and Chuuya.

Atsushi: How do you guys handle a break up?

Akutagawa: I try to get them back.

Chuuya: Alcohol and making out with 5 people in one night.

Dazai: I listen to Taylor Swift and stare into the void.

Akutagawa: Mr. Dazai, truth or dare?

Dazai: Dare.

Chuuya: Why do you always choose dare?

Atsushi: Because he’s too scared to face the truth.

Chuuya: And what’s the truth?

Atsushi: That he’s waiting for someone to dare him to make out with you.

*playing twister*

Dazai: okay, Akutagawa, right hand red.

Akutagawa: *ends up on top of Atsushi*

Atsushi: wait— Dazai, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Dazai: I stopped spinning about 10 turns ago, I'm surprised you didn't notice sooner.

Dazai to Odasaku about Akutagawa: "If I'd left him to his own devices, he would've ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself."

Hey hi what does that mean???

I'm probably way overthinking it but it just reminded me of when I first started my watch of the anime and we get to the opening scene with Akutagawa and Rashoumon (I can't find the exact scene but here's something similar from DA)

He implies he's not attacking with her so much as he's reining her in from devouring everything - and originally I thought, hey, that's a cool premise. It seems like there's something odd about this guy's ability; he's talking about it like it's almost sentient.

But then it didn't really get brought up again so I kind of forgot about it.

And sure maybe all the above line means is that his ability is naturally attuned to violence and he could grow more bloodthirsty, etc - but if that's the case, why bring him into the mafia?

So I started thinking about Dead Apple (which I really need to rewatch...) and how there was this focus on Atsushi as the "antithesis" of special abilities. And I just kind of thought about that because... wouldn't that title go to Dazai...?

But then it's stated that Atsushi's claws can cut through any ability... including Rashoumon (he also has some connection to the Book which absolutely must be related somehow but I'm skipping over that for the purposes of this post). Dazai describes Akutagawa as "a sword without a sheath". Is Atsushi part of the sheath? It would make a degree of sense: after all, we get a sharp reminder in the movie of how imperative it is that Dazai nullifies Chuuya's ability - it is literally needed to keep Arahabaki in check.

But why such a focus on self-destruction and sheathing... unless there really is something dangerous that needs to be reined in? That needs to be controlled.

I think about the dragon in Dead Apple called the "chaos of all special abilities".

I think about how the tiger and dragon are another representation of yin and yang. I think about how Atsushi and Akutagawa so clearly have that yin-yang dynamic. I think about how Rashoumon very well has the appearance of a hungry snake - or a dragon.

I think about how the focal point of an entire altered timeline was the prevention of Akutagawa from joining the mafia and the taking of his sister. And then I wonder why Akutagawa always seems to factor into Dazai's plans.

I think there's something special about Akutagawa's ability.

I think that something special, whatever it is, is very dangerous - more than we know.

Okay. Just a fun fact. During a little research about christianity in Japan i found out something curious.

Anime representation of Atsushi's orphan flashbacks is kinda accurate in some sense

And what exactly i mean

This is his flashback

Ans this is Miyazu Catholic Church

I thought about it too. God Byakko i mean.

I wondered if Ara and Byakko could somehow know each other. Way before Atsu and Chuuya became their vessels.

Yes they are from different mythology. But please. We make the rules here. And it is still no excuse.

You can't say me that for gods know how many years there were no possibilities they could have met each other.

Yet we still haven't seen Atsu and Chuuya fighting together against common enemy, but in my world this can be one of the most strongest partnerships. THEY ARE LITERALLY TWO GODS.

And i imagine how after the serious fight Byakko's roar can calm Ara without Dazai's power.

God Atsushi rant.

I'm in my god Atsushi era and have a lot to say abt it.

Ok so duh we all know Arahabaki (Chuuya) is a god. So we know that 'gods' exist in the bsd world. But like Byakko IS a god, right? Right?? SO SO TECHNICALLY Atsushi could also have a god for an 'ability'. And we know nothing of Atsushi's life before the orphanage or his parents. Sooooo I kind of have free reign with this theory. And maybe (like other AU's which I may or may not have stolen this base idea from) god's pick their 'vessel' or their human body and tend to co-exist in it once they find the one they want. Atsushi could have been picked by Byakko but with Chuuya, Arahabaki was more forced into his body with the experiment (if that makes sense) instead.

And I love the theories that Ara (Im putting this instead of Arahabaki now bcz its so bloody long) talks to Chuuya in his mind and is sentient as he is a whole 'other being'. So Byakko could also talk to Atsushi as an 'other being' but bcz of Atsushi's hatred towards both himself and his 'ability', she never did. But when Atsushi accepts his ability in DA Byakko is able to talk to Atsushi and explains all this to him (and more yada yada) but bcz Ara was FORCED into Chuuya's body, he just doesn't want to explain or talk to Chuuya out of hatred for the humans (N) who trapped him in Chuuya.

And I have so much more to say abt this HOWEVER I am making it into a fanfiction and would hate to spoil the plot (this isnt a spoiler bcz it's literally the BASE of the whole story). Also this is a Atsushi get's chosen for the ADA member who goes to the PM au!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no idea if I want to make the ship chuuatsu bcz I am a sucker for rarepairs and when ur a god time doesnt matter so 4 years isn't shit. But I loveeee sskk and kinda want that ship. But I don't want both bcz I want one of them to be besties, so if I do chuuatsu I want sskk to be besties but if I do sskk I want chuuatsu to be besties. But yeah I might put it in a wheel and decide or just see how the story goes.

Btw if u want to read the story my ao3 is 2waesabii2 (It's not out yet but I'm thinking of calling it something with the word 'god's' in it so we'll see abt the name.)