I’m a person that falls in love easily.
I’ve fallen for the boy on the bus that always saved me a seat in the morning. I’ve fallen for the guy that drove me around town on the back of his motor cycle. I’ve fallen for a boy who just kept texting me whenever he felt like it. It took me about 2 seconds to fall in love with my ex. The list seems endless.
I never really liked that about myself, I felt naive and vulnerable and everyone else seemed to notice it as well.
But now there’s this guy. He would save me a seat on every bus we’d ever get on, he drives me around whenever I ask him to and he keeps texting me, telling me that he just thought of me and wished I’d be with him right now. And god is he wholesome.
And god do I hate myself for not falling in love with him.
I got lost in your sheets in the tightness of your arms in the rhythm of your breath in the warmth of your heart
yet I found myself in love a place of tenderness I found myself with you a place of lost and found
I want to find my comfort in you instead of building a place to call it a home only to see it collabs on the fragile ground which I misunderstood as stable because they told stories about love and its fiction instead of the truth its pleasure on destruction
“I love you" seemed so scary to say you took the fear gifted me the words I've never heard leaving someone mouth Yet by touching your lips, I knew it wasn't a lie you told me it was your heart you offered
You are so terrifying and beautiful to love I am so afraid and yet so full of lust Let me call your name every second of the day until it will become a second part of me
It is another kind of heartbreak to realize that I still haven’t found the soul I am searching for in the person, I hoped so much would reflect my perception of perfection after spending so much time searching in empty faces and beliving that this one has a heart that would mirror my own Just to see they are just another empty face in the crowd of lost lovers I got lost in as well Only this time I painted their face so it is easier to pretend and hold onto something that isn’t even there It is so tiring to search without finding or find without keeping because even if they leave it wouldn’t be their missing that would hurt but knowing that nothing has changed I am still on my journey through empty faces until finding the other wanderer who searches for a face in so much emptiness as well