Es sticht,
Es zerreißt mich,
Nimmt mir den Atem,
Brust voller Scherben.
So als
Läge ein Teil von
Mir hier gerade
Wund und im Sterben.
So als
Fehlte ein Teil von
Mir wieder ohne
Wiederzukehren.
It is another kind of heartbreak to realize that I still haven’t found the soul I am searching for in the person, I hoped so much would reflect my perception of perfection after spending so much time searching in empty faces and beliving that this one has a heart that would mirror my own Just to see they are just another empty face in the crowd of lost lovers I got lost in as well Only this time I painted their face so it is easier to pretend and hold onto something that isn’t even there It is so tiring to search without finding or find without keeping because even if they leave it wouldn’t be their missing that would hurt but knowing that nothing has changed I am still on my journey through empty faces until finding the other wanderer who searches for a face in so much emptiness as well
“I am going to change, I promise” I never knew that changing could mean leaving Maybe not even you knew Maybe no one could
I saw that; I saw you How you kept your promise of changing How you and your mind drifted away every day a little bit more a little bit more away from me away from staying
I changed to stop you from leaving No matter how similar we may be Our words may sound the same But changing never meant leaving to me
Like I never meant home to you
There is a fragile beauty in the way you are gone There is an absurd pleasure in the way you left There is a broken soul who used to find peace with you And there is an empty voice which used to sing your name like a song to the stars
It is funny how things change How your name lies strangely on the tip of my tongue How I absorb every single letter to find the hidden secret to why your name was so familiar once like a soulmate to mine but now fades away with your face and the peace it promised
But I can’t stop I can’t stop repeating your name every night like a goodnight story to scare the ghosts inside my chest and your spirit which stayed and still dances under the moonlight I still scream your name in my head until it feels like you again
Honey, you want to heal? forget the ugly words and the things he did how he blew out the candle and you found yourself lost as the light faded away
Honey, you want to move on? Let go of the past and the “I love you”s you shared Take back the person you gifted the time you shared Take back everything you don’t want him to keep
Honey, you want to live again? Leave the sadness you found after love and start all over again Find love in yourself and the things you enjoyed Make room in your mind by throwing him out Find comfort in being alone
Honey, is that what you want? Healing, moving on and living? Because the truth is, it’s all in your hands but you rather remain in your situation Do you fear that the pain it takes to let it go would be more hurting than the pain you are currently in?
Honey, you won’t heal by rereading and relistening old text messages and voice mails You won’t move on by asking the universe for a call from him You won’t live again by reliving the memories you saved in your mind
You won’t find yourself by searching him
Honey, stop it, Stop procrastinating on the future Stop hurting yourself with the past Don’t throw yourself away It’s your love where you will find yourself again Not his
It’s you where you will gain the power from to heal move on and live again