Dazai Bsd - Blog Posts
Dazai, yelling: KUNIKIDA HAVE YOU SEEN MY TOP?!
Kunikida: Chuuya's in the office.
Dazai: Ok thanks :).
Chuuya, from the office: THE FUCK?!
*the agency reorganizes and cleans the office cause it is a total mess*
Kunikida: We need a more efficient method. What about the Norwegian system Munkensmat?
The ada: ???
Kunikida: In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions except one.
Dazai: Ok I'll go first. It's between my antidepressants and this fidget spinner.
Dazai: *throws in the can his meds*
Dazai: I think I made the right call.
Chuuya: Hey...uh...mackerel...I have something to tell you.
Dazai: Hmm? Yes?
Chuuya: I like guys.
Dazai: *gasps* I knew it!!!
Dazai: So who's the lucky man?
Chuuya: He works in the ada, he used to be in the port mafia, an ability user, funny, good with coming up with plans...and well he can be a big fucking idiot sometimes.
Dazai: Oh- he sounds kinda lame...
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Did I mention idiot?
Chuuya: I hate you!
Dazai's head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words...
Chuuya: I had no idea you were so willing to die for me.
Dazai: Trust me I can hardly believe it myself.
Dazai: When you see him, please don’t freak out ok?
Kunikida: I’m not going to freak out. Who ever you’re dating I’ll always be accepting of them. Even if they were working in the port mafia...
Dazai: Alright, you can come in!
*Chuuya walks in*
Kunikida: Mr. Nakahara, please get out of the way. I’m trying to see who is Dazai dating!
Chuuya, waisted, through the phone: It gets lonely here. And you know what happens when I'm lonely mackerel?
Dazai:
Chuuya: When I'm lonely I become hungry and when I become hungry I want to choke on that *beep* of yours, *beep* close, then lick all of your *beep* before taking out your *beep* and *beep* with more teeth *beep* until you're screaming *extended beep* like a fucking baby-
Dazai, traumatized: *ends the call, breaks his phone in two, punches the broken phone with a big book multiple times, makes a milkshake with the million little pieces of what remained from the phone and then gives it to Atsushi to drink it*
Dazai: Would you slap your crush's face for 2 million dollars?
Chuuya: I would roundhouse kick you in the face for free.
Dazai: Savag-
Dazai: Wait...
Dazai: WAIT-
Chuuya, panicking: fgqhcwgnaklud-
𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚/𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙪𝙨𝙚/𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚 (✿◠‿◠)
𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮: @veriaesva