Dazai: My feelings for Chuuya are strictly platonic.
Ango: I see...What color are his eyes?
Dazai: Ocean blue, not in a weird way but in a way your ship can get lost in their waves and you’d never want to escape because it feels like an adventure and discovering new things in life...
Odasaku: Right...
Ango: What color are my eyes?
Dazai: Idk brown? Shut up Ango I'm talking about Chuuya.
Atsushi: Chuuya kissed you?
Dazai, staring woefully out of his window: Aha...
Atsushi: And you said thank you…?
Dazai: Yeah...
Atsushi: Well that was very polite of you.
*meanwhile*
Chuuya: Thank you?!?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN?
Kouyou: He’s stupid Chuuya you know that!
Ango: They say partners can never be just friends. It's always sexual.
Dazai: *scoffs* That's dumb. Look at me and Chuuya. There's nothing sexual between us.
Oda:
Ango:
Chuuya: I find that I adore a person pleasantly more if they can speak a second language, especially French.
Dazai: Ma ciao!
Chuuya:
Kunikida: Are you sure you can handle it?
Dazai: Uh, well, let's see;
Dazai: Difficult, last-minute and crucial as hell.
Dazai: Meets all the Dazai criteria.
Chuuya: Are you ready to commit?
Dazai: Like, a crime, a suicide or a relationship?
Dazai: I don't know what I feel about chibi.
Natsume, in his cat form: You fucking spend all day and night thinking of ways to annoy him, you call him with pet names, he's your partner in crime, you trust him to save you every fucking time you're in death's door, he's the reason you don't wanna die anymore and you don't know how you feel? Please, for fuck sake, you love him.
Dazai:
Natsume: I mean— meaw.
Dazai, stumbling in through the window of Chuuya's room with a broken red rose in his mouth:
Chuuya, startled: What the fuck are you doing?
Dazai, falling on the floor: I’m trying to be romantic, shut up.
*the agency reorganizes and cleans the office cause it is a total mess*
Kunikida: We need a more efficient method. What about the Norwegian system Munkensmat?
The ada: ???
Kunikida: In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions except one.
Dazai: Ok I'll go first. It's between my antidepressants and this fidget spinner.
Dazai: *throws in the can his meds*
Dazai: I think I made the right call.
Dazai: You're wearing make-up???
Chuuya: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?
Dazai:
Dazai: No it looks stupid...
*some moments later*
Dazai, sobbing into Odasaku's shoulder: It looked so good!!!
Odasaku: I know.
Dazai: I'm so gay...
Odasaku: *sighs* I know...