Dysphoria Tw - Blog Posts

Quick vent drawing where I push all of my dysphoria problems onto Wei Wuxian

I feel like this would be in some kind of modern au with t4t wangxian but I don’t feel like thinking up of details or anything

I’m super hungry but I can’t go downstairs for food because today is my binder break day and it’s too hot for a hoodie or sweatshirt or any kind of layers :(

It felt like I was back in that relationship all over again finding out she lied to me I feel like death I’m going to fucking relapse I hate this I hate my body I hate my everything I just wish I was cis I hate my self

I feel like puking i feel like I’ve just been robbed of all my love and that resulting in my hatred for romance I just . I’m so dysphoric I’m so bitter I’m so angry I just want an escape I just want someone for fucking once to love me and my imperfections and not prefer a specific fucking genital over my entire being I don’t know what to do I don’t believe anyone when they say they love me anymore because they’re fucking lying

I just want to give up on everything I fucking Hate my life I hate romance I hate sex I hate myself I hate everyone I fucking hate existing I just wish I was dead so fucking bad holy fuck I’m going to kill myself maybe that’s what I should do for my 18th birthday just blow my fucking head off

I’m repulsive to everyone I love

Everybody that I love or end up in a relationship with are all the same they all think I’m disgusting and repulsive and will leave me I fucking hate romance it’s dead to me and I would rather fucking end my life then ever be romantically involved again it has done nothing but hurt me and kill me and make me feel so small and insignificant and hideous and ugly and stupid I fucking hate everything

I try not to be so pessimistic or nihilistic but it’s like there is nothing to be happy about for me today was actually a good day but it all came crashing down when I realized everyone I love doesn’t care about me nor do they see me as a man and they see me as some hideous disfigurement of a person and they would all like me better if I had a fucking cock I hate myself so much I just wish I was likable

I’m so repulsive to Everyone I know everyone would just love Me better if I had a cock nobody loves me for who I am they all want me to be someone I’m not and I can’t fucking change that I can take hormones and everything but it still won’t change the fact I won’t have a dick I wish I could fucking Die I am so unlovable and ugly to everyone I hate my self I hate myself so fucking much I wish I was a man I wish I was a fucking man I hate this so fucking much I hate my fucking body I hate my genitals I hate myself I hate myself I wish that I Could just be a fucking man

I’ll always be imperfect even to the ones I love

I’ll never be a man to anyone. I’ll never be beautiful to anyone. I’ll never be satisfying enough for anyone. There is always just something wrong with me and I don’t know what that is. I will always be imperfect to everyone. There will always be something awful about me that makes people like me a little less.

All I want is to be liked. All I want is to be loved. All I want is to not be imperfect to someone. I want someone to respect who I am and not prefer things over me. I fucking hate myself man. I hate everyone that I know and love and want them out of my life. I hate everything. I just wish I could rot away forever and fucking die.

Nobody will ever truly love me. And I get proved right every fucking time.

I’m just a mistake