Funny - Blog Posts
Assassin's Creed Pickle edition
Assassin's creed headcanon
Desmond wandered into Altair's room looking for him, he got a message from him to come alone into his room. Unsure the reason why he decided he might as well see what Altair wanted that was so important for him to message him inside of asking him face to face. Which for Altair, it's was unlike him to text from inside the house to him while he was also in the same building as Desmond. Altair rather much prefers to just talk to someone face to face than message as he quotes "no one in this damn era doesn't speak with each other face to face anymore. " which meant he didn't like the idea of texting someone who is in the same vicinity as the person was. Cause to him, he quotes "it's more polite and sociable for you to just walk over to them and talk with them in person", so this text from Altair saying to head to his room, even though he was in the room he was heading to, was a bit of weird thing for Altair to do.
Desmond: *opens the door* Hello? Gramps?
The room was empty.
Desmond: uh? You-
Altair: Psst! Desmond! Coming over here!
Desmond: Altair!? *looks around the room* Gramps where are you I don't see you?
Altair: Desmond you are not gonna believe the discovery I have made with the apple!
Desmond: *still looking around the room for him* oh god, did you take the apple again and started studying it again? You know Shaun's gonna be pissed and so is Maria.
Altair: Desmond, trust me! This changes everything we know about the apple of Eden, if not maybe some of the other pieces of Eden!
Desmond: where even are you? I don't see you? Are you pranking me or something?
Altair: ok Desmond listen to me closely, you see that pickle on my desk next to the apple of Eden?
Desmond: ... *walks over to the desk* ya?
Altair: ok now turn it over!
Desmond: I swear Altair if this is some kind of joke to get back at me for something-
Altair: No, no, no! Trust me Desmond, just do it!
Desmond: ... *picks up a pencil and uses it to turn the pickle over*
Altair's face was on the pickle.
Altair: I turned myself into a pickle Desmond! I'M PICKLE ALTAIR!!!
Desmond: O_O ... how the f@#$ did you turn yourself into a pickle!? And why!? Also, was that a Rick and Morty reference?
Altair: to answer the last one, yes. The reasoning, it was... an accident I will admit. But! This truly does change everything and our understandings about the Apple of Eden Desmond!
Desmond: I-... I just-... I don't even know how this happened I don't want to know how this happened, but... H-how are you going to turn yourself back into an actual person again?
Altair: ...
Desmond: ...
Altair: . . . Allaena
I'm pretty sure that meme is dead now, but I still find it funny š¤£
Also allaena means f@#$ in Arabic
Dang I'm so lazy that I didn't do anything for the October month on my tumblr page, so you know what heres an assassin lost in modern ages AU (yes that's what I'm calling my AC headcannons now) this is also a bigbang reference as well cause I thought this scene was funny.
Enjoy =)
It was a crisp October night everyone in the house had pitched in to help decorate the house for Halloween, of course when the assassins in the house hold saw the strange decorations that Desmond, Shaun and rebecca were getting from the attic, some of them were quite confused at first. Altair was first to point this out and thought it was some kind of dark sorcery ritual, while Leonardo was more rational about it and thought it was for some kind of party maybe. Jacob being, well... Jacob agreed with Altair and thought it to be some spooky dark magic witch craft, trying to scare everyone into believing it. Kassandra and Desmond having to be the only ones out of the assassins family bloodline to knew more about the modern life explained that it was a holiday that people celebrated the first month of fall and explained that the tradition involved dress up as whatever you please and get treats for it.
It saddened Jacob when he learned that the treat part were for the kids, but his spirits came back strong when he learned that you could pull spooky pranks on people.
And so after all that mess Desmond, Jacob, and Rebecca decided to pull a spooky prank on Shaun when he got back from the store that night.
Shaun: *opeans the door* guys I'm home!
The house seems to be dark and Empty.
Shaun: hm? ... *tries to turn on the living room lights*
The lights don't turn on.
Shaun: odd... *starts walking into the kitchen to put the stuff down*
After putting the stuff was put away he heads up stairs to a dark and empty hallway that is usually bustling with assassins roaming the halls and the rooms that would normally have people in them seem empty and bare.
Shaun: ... oh, OH ok I get ha ha every funny it's Halloween, OoOo~ spooky~ ya nice try guys *starts walking* but it's gonna take more then a dark and dead silence hallway to scare me-
Unknown voice: ShaAaAUn~
Shaun: ...
Unknown voice: ShaAaAUn~
Shaun: *tries to turn on the hall lights*
The lights turn on for a second before the bulbs spark and shut off completely only having the empty rooms full of moonlight shine into the halls as a light scorce.
Shaun: ...
There was a ghostly moan in the wind, soon the sound of chains rattling followed by a witches cackle.
Shaun: *rolls his eyes* ha ha yes the Halloween foolery begins. *keeps walking but at a slow pace* A ghostly moan, rattling of chain, the witche's cackle. Trifecta! Haunted house cliches. Instead of AH I say yawn.
Unknown voice: ShAaAaAuN~
Shaun: *sees something dripping out of the walls*
The red unknown substance begins to drip from the once dry walls of the house hallway walls
Shaun: oh, the wall are dripping blood. Which looks nothing like it by the way! to wet to even possibly be considered blood! Tch- more like some children's water coloring set.
The blood soon forms into a five worded sentence. See you in hell Shaun
Shaun: see you in hell Shaun... The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma!
The out of no where a glowing neon green skeleton with glowing red eye comes flying out of no where towards Shaun.
Shaun: AH! *gasps* *starts panting* ok all right, *pants* that one was clever, *pants* skeleton with phosphorus on a zip line. *pants* come on out Merry Pranksters! Take a bow! *pants*
The lights turn back on and from around the corner Jacob, Desmond, and rebecca reveal themselves and give each other a hive fives and Pat's on the backs from each other as they walk and laugh towards Shaun.
Jacob:HAHA!
Desmond: HAHA!
Rebecca: you should've seen your face Shaun!
Shaun: yes there's nothing quite like slightly widen eyes of the mildly startled.
Desmond: Come on, Admit it we go you!
They walk into Shaun's room.
Shaun: please fright depends on an element of suprise the simple fact is because I am much smarter than you-
As shaun is talking Altair crawls out of Shaun's room vent with an oni mask covering his face and his hood up as usual, as he slowly begins to walk over behind shaun.
Shaun: and able to anticipate your actions it is highly unlikely that you three rubes could ever suprise me.
Altair is now 2 inches way from behind Shaun.
Rebecca: he's probably right.
Desmond: we can't beat him.
Jacob: he's just to smart.
Shaun: *smirks* assassins *turns around*
Altair: ...
Shaun: AAAHH!! *passes out*
Jacob: HAHA!
Desmond: HAHA!
Rebecca: HAHA!
Altair: *smirks and takes off the oni mask*
Desmond: ok who had money on faints!
Jacob: uh, I had pee his pants!
Altair: *looks down at Shaun* hang on... looks like everyone's a winner.
I know it's a day late but still happy Halloween everyone I hope you guys stayed safe and healthy this year, hope to do something better then a headcanon next year but for now enjoy Desmond, Jacob, Altair and rebecca's Halloween prank on Shaun.
Jacob: so Desmond I heard we were going on a trip for our next mission.
Desmond: ya.
Jacob: so we going by Train-
Desmond: no.
Jacob: ...why?
Desmond: you know very well why we're not going by train!
Jacob: uh... the same reason why we don't go by boat?
Desmond: ... ok half the reason.
... I have no explanation for this...
I REGRET NOTHING!
Leonardo da Vinci from AC as Charles Calvin from The Henry Stickmin collection
I don't know why, but I can see them becoming good friends, Charles and Leonardo making plans for henry and Ezio =D
THIS IS THE GREATEST PLAAAAN!!!
Jacob: dude, how do you sleep with your closet door opean, aren't you afraid a demon could be watching you?!
Altair: *murder smile* Haha, Jacob you fool, you absolute SWINE! I'M the one watching the DEMON!
At night
Demon:...
Altair: *staring intensely at the closet demon* ...
Demon: ... can you not...
Altair: No you asked for this motherf@#$er!
And now a special AC headcannon:
Advice from AltaĆÆr
(Advice from AltaĆÆr)
Altair was sitting on a comfy chair by the fire place, reading a book while drinking warm coffee by him.
Altair: *looks up at the reader* Hi, my name is Altair Lbn-La'Ahad and Welcome to Advice from me, Altair.
Altair: *takes a sip of his coffee* so, something tells me you didn't just scroll threw hundreds of other AC headcannons just to get to me... your probably here for images of Jacob without his shirt on or some of my other family tree memebers with out their shirts don't who know what....
Altair: so let's just make this quick... *clears throught* my advice for you is... WEAR. A. F***KING! MASK!!!!
Altair: SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING!!! YOUR GONNA GET PEOPLE SICK!!! *puts on a black mask with a white Syrian assassin's creed logo on it*
Altair: TO ALL THE KARENS OUT! WEAR A F***ING MASK!!! YOUR KILLING MORE PEOPLE THEN RANTING ABOUT MASK KILLING PEOPLE!!!
Altair: OH IM SORRY THAT THE MASK IS UNCOMFORTABLE! KAREN!!! BUT SOME OF US ARE TRYING!! TO STAY SAFE! THAT WAY WE CAN GET THIS WHOLE LOCK DOWN THING OVER WITH AND DONE SO WE CAN HAVE OUR OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES AGAIN!!!
Altair: *pants* *pants* *clears throat* ... that's all the time I have for you today, tune in next week where I give you advice about how to deal with Karens.
And this has been:
Advice with AltaĆÆr
(Advice with AltaĆÆr)
So ya I decided to make this a thing now... so ya, each week I'll post an Advice with AltaĆÆr on here, cause I think everyone needs a bit of slice of life with Altair right?
So ya next week is another advice with Altair so stay tuned. šā
Also sorry about it being a rant about mask safety.... I just hate online schooling... its boring.... ubisoft please don't sue me!
Duccio gets thrown out
Pt. 1
An Assassin's creed of bel air headcanon
Claudia was upset that day, she came home late almost saddened. Her brother Ezio and the other assassins came to try and help comfort her, but with Duccio around...
Claudia: oh ezio! Why must I have such a hard time with men! Even in the future my luck is absolutely dreadful...
Ezio: *Hugs Claudia* it is ok Claudia, you will be ok.
Desmond: I still can't believe those @$$holes at the store just harassed you like that.
Rebecca: listen Claudia men can be @$$holes sometimes, some worst then others. Like take Shaun for example. Sometimes I wanna punch him so hard in the face when he's being negative all the time, but at least he's not publicly harassing me.
Shaun: exactly... wait. HEY!
Claudia: men are just pigs... oh! No offence to you all!
Arno: It's ok Claudia, we understand.
Jacob: ya, some of us men are just bloody @$$es.
Evie: some, are more annoying then others, but yes.
Jacob: exactly! ...wait. HEY!
Leonardo:everything will be fine Claudia *hugs Claudia*
Claudia: thank you. Thank you all.
Duccio walks in.
Duccio: what's going on here?
Altair: no.
Duccio: what?
Altair: OUT!
Duccio: che cosa! (What) why?!
Altair: You will only make this manner worse, I know it.
Duccio: I just want to know what's happening, that's all, promise! *raises his left arm up and right arm on his chest*
Connor: just tell him, he'll just keep bugging us till we do tell him.
Altair: ... *crosses his arms* Claudia was harassed by men today at the store.
Claudia: not like you care.
Duccio: well I could always get a marriage license.
Everyone was confused at what Duccio had just said.
Edward: ...what?
Duccio: so she doesn't get harassed by men so much. That is if she performs on the test drive.
Everyone in the room went silent for a moment speechless to what Duccio had suggested.
Claudia: >=( ...
Leonardo: *hold Claudia closer to him* Ezio... Get him. >=|
Ezio walked over to Duccio and grabbed him by the back collar of his shirt and started angrily dragging him to the front of the house.
Duccio: WHAT I DID DO?!! WHAT DID I DO?!!
Jacob gladly opened the front door of the house holding it like he was holding it for someone (that someone being Duccio) and with every ounce of energy and anger, Ezio had tossed Duccio out of the house and into the front yard.
Duccio: AAAH! *lands face first on to the ground*
And there you have it fokes Duccio get thrown out of the house! (Yes there will be more parts >= ] ) Based on the funny compilations of Jazz getting thrown out of the house.
Honestly this idea came to mine when I was re-watching some fresh prince of bel air and then I saw this scene where jazz got thrown out of the house and I began thinking... who is somewhat like jazz... who would be worthy of being thrown out of the house besides Jacob... then it hit me!
It was clear as day that Duccio was destined to be thrown out by either Altair or Ezio! (Mostly Ezio)
I hope you enjoyed this assassin's creed of bel air headcanon ššš more is to be expected.
The Epic Adventures of Malik and Leonardo
Episode 1
(Updated)
It was a day like any other in the assassin household. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and flying alongside eagles. On this particular day, however, was quite one that was unexpected for two assassins in the household, well more of a painter and an assassin.
Leonardo was working on repairing a hidden blade, in his upstairs workshop, while Malik was looking over some files downstairs with Maria. Claudia was in the kitchen making dinner with Achilles, waiting for the assassins to return from their mission.
Leonardo was working on fixing a hidden blade that one of the assassins had broken (Jacob) on a "mission" as they claimed.
After some time he had finally finished the repairs on the gauntlet.
Leonardo: there! It's finally finished. *sighs and wipes his brow*
Leonardo put the gauntlet on and tested the grapple hook function as it went flying out and hit the wall. Leonardo then reeled it back into the gauntlet.
Leonardo: perfecto! *takes off the blade and puts it down* *starts walking over to the windowsill and opens it up*
The view wasn't the complete best, cause of the neighboring building hiding their hideout home from the outside world. But at least the birds still managed to make their way through to visit him, as they flew around the hidden space.
Leonardo: *chuckles and leans against the sill edge* Today has been quite kind and peaceful. *breaths in a bit of the air*
He will admit the air back home in his time is cleaner than the city's air, but still open-air nonetheless. One of the birds landed next to Leonardo on the windowsill as it chirped to him.
Leonardo: oh! Why hello there. Sorry, I don't have any bread for you today. A certain two people wanted to see if they could make a rather tall sandwich like the ones on T.V.
He'll never forget the scolding Edward and Alexios got from Shaun for using up all the bread they had.
Leonardo: Heh, but I think- *pulls out some bird food seeds from his pouch* I bought this recently from the store close by.
Leonardo carefully laid his palm open and flat for the bird, as it curiously hopped towards Leonardo's open hand. The bird started to eat some of the seeds from his hand.
Leonardo: it must be nice to see the world from such an amazing view from the sky... *sighs* someday... someday...
The smile on Leonardo's face slowly fell as he stared out the window.
Leonardo: (if I'm able to leave again first...)
The bird finished eating as it stared curiously at Leonardo as if it could tell he was sad. The bird chirped at him getting his attention.
Leonardo: hm? Oh, you finshed already?
The bird chips solemnly to him as it leaped closer to him.
Leonardo: I'm fine my little friend, just... thinking...
The bird tweets at him as it nuzzles next to his hand.
Leonardo: *pets the bird gently with his index finger* "whispers" "I wish I could follow you out there with the other birds..."
Just then he hears the sound of some vehicles pulling up into the hidden area. He looked down and smiled when he saw all the assassins stepping out of the two vans and Desmond off his motorcycle.
Leonardo: ah, They're finally back!
the bird chirps to Leonardo as it stood up.
Leonardo: I'm glad to see you again my little friend, I shall see you again tomorrow morning.
The bird chirps goodbye as it flys away and Leonardo closes the window. He grabbed the newly repaired hidden blade and rushed downstairs to the front door.
Leonardo: their back everyone!
Leonardo shouted as he ran down the last step.
Malik: good, it's about time they came back.
Desmond unlocked the front door and sighed in relief to be home.
Desmond: hey guys, we're back!
Everyone walked inside tired and exhausted.
Desmond, Rebecca, and Shaun were the first three to come in, followed by Altair and Ezio. Altair walked over to the couch where he sat in between Maria and Malik.
Maria: welcome home aleaziz. (dear) *kisses Altair on the check*
Malik: yes, welcome back Novice. Glad to see you made it back safely.
Altair: it's good to be back home.
There was a small meow by Altair's feet. Looking down Altair made a small smile when he saw his little white and black, golden eyes, kitten companion trying to climb up to his lap. Altair picked up the small kitten and settled him down on his lap.
Altair: I missed you too Nasir.
The cat meowed happily at Altair as he purred in his lap, happy for his human to be home.
When Ezio walked into the house after Altair, he immediately received a big hug from his best friend Leonardo as he always did after a mission.
Leonardo: still alive Amico?
Ezio: *Chuckles* still alive.
Ezio broke the hug and produced along into the house. Jacob and Evie then walked into the house after Connor walked in behind Ezio. The sound of two dogs barking and a Turkey gobbling came from up the stairs, as a large, silver furred wolf came rushing down the stairs with a Turkey in an assassin's hood stood on the wolf's back, while a little Welsh corgi ran underneath the large wolf.
Connor: hello silver, Liberty, how are you two. *pets the wolf and Turkey*
The wolf pants and barks while the Turkey cooed.
The little dog under the wolf came rushing towards the Frye twins yipping happily while running around in circles around Jacob.
Jacob: ya it's good to see you too Desmond the dog. *pets Desmond (the dog)*
Desmond (dog) barked then ran off into the kitchen.
Leonardo: oh, Jacob! Your blade is fixed. *hands Jacob the blade*
Jacob: ah, thanks, Leo! You're a lifesaver! *tries to grab the gauntlet from him*
Leonardo: *pulls back the gauntlet* not so fast Jacob! Promise me first that you won't break it again doing something other than a mission.
Jacob: *sighs* I told you I did break it while on a mission.
Altair: when you say "mission" you mean goofing off with Edward and Alexios doing stupid sh*t?
Edward: hey! I resent that remark! *grabs a beer from the fridge and drinks it*
Alexios: we weren't doing stupid sh*t, we were doing important sh*t.
Kassandra: aw yes, cause nothing is more important than swinging from building to building like an Andrew Garfield spider-man for fun on a Saturday afternoon by a construction site.
Jacob, Edward, Alexios: o_o ...
Kassandra: while there were people working...
Jacob: *sigh* fine! *grabs the gauntlet and attaches back onto his wrist*
Leonardo: good.
Evie: *sigh* sometimes I have no idea what I'm going to do with you, Jacob.
Arno: I tried to tell them not to.
Jacob: *smirks* Oh come on Arny you wanted to come with us.
Arno: and I still don't regret not coming along with you three.
Both Claudia and Achilles walked out of the kitchen with their hands full, stacked with plates and silverware to the table.
Claudia: Welcome back everyone! Dinners done.
Claudia smiled as she saw her brother walking over to her and hugging her.
Ezio: saluti (greetings) sister. Here let me help you. *takes half the stack of plate*
Claudia: Grazie Ezio.
Connor: let me help you too Achilles. *takes half the stack from Achilles*
Achilles: thanks you two.
Ezio: so what's on today's menu Claudia? *sets down some plates*
Claudia: homemade pasta with Chicken and salad made with spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, and dressing, and some freshly made biscuits.
Jacob: Sounds scrumptious Claudia! *jumps over the couch and runs over to the table*
Altair: Watch it Frye!
Shaun: Jacob what did we say about jumping over furniture in the house!
Jacob: you said only when templars are around.
Shaun: I never said anything about templars.
Jacob: aw! But if there were, then would I have the full permission to jump over the furniture?
Shaun: ... *sigh* fine.
Jacob: yes!
Evie: I'm sorry Shaun, Jacob can be so obnoxious when he's hungry.
After Claudia, Ezio, Connor, and Achilles set the table Claudia brought in the tray of food over to the table, before going back for the biscuits and salad.
Bayek: do you want us to help you, Claudia?
Claudia: I'm alright Bayek, you can go ahead and take a seat with the others.
Bayek: *nods*
Everyone took their seats at the table, but since the table wasn't quite big enough to fit everyone, some of them had to sit on the couch or floor to eat. Connor, Edward, and Alexios were fine with sitting on the floor by the couch to eat, the three didn't care much about it. Desmond, Shaun, Arno, Aveline, and Kassandra sat on the couch to eat while the others sat at the table to eat. The good thing was that their dining room was connected to the living room so they were still all able to chat with each other as they ate.
Aya: thank you so much, Claudia, the food looks so good.
Claudia: I don't deserve all the credit, Achilles helped with the cooking as well.
Connor: I think you both did an amazing job.
Achilles: when you're retired, you pick up on other hobbies to pass the time.
Aveline: do you need help with serving the food Claudia?
Claudia: si, could you and Connor help pass everyone their meal.
Aveline and Connor: *nods*
Aveline and Connor both got up and helped Claudia serve the food, the three made sure to give everyone even portions of food on each plate then passed the plates around to everyone.
Claudia: one for Desmond.
Desmond: thanks Claudia.
Claudia: Shaun.
Shaun: thank you.
Claudia: Kassandra.
Kassandra: thanks.
Claudia: and a meat-free pasta for you Leonardo.
Leonardo: grazie Claudia.
Claudia: then some bird feed for Senu and Library.
Senu caws happily at the table and begins eating his bird food in a small dish.
Bayek: Senu thanks you Claudia.
Claudia: *smiles* I'm glad.
Library also gobbled happily as well as he ate next to silver.
Connor: and some uncooked chunks of steak meat for silver. *puts down a dog dish full of steak chunks*
Aveline: then some dog food for Desmond 2 and cat food for nasir. *puts down two separate bowls down for Desmond (dog) and nasir*
Once everyone got their food everyone began eating.
Jacob: hmm? *notices Leonardo doesn't have any kind of meat on his plate* no offense, but how come you never eat meat? The chicken is the best part of the meal.
Leonardo: I just don't like the idea of eating meat, it's basically like eating a dead body.
Jacob: But didn't you... never mind. I just don't understand how one can eat plants for their entire lives and not have to eat meat.
Leonardo: because it's much healthier. You above everyone in this house should try and eat healthier foods.
Shaun: and Desmond, don't forget about Desmond.
Desmond: for the last time Shaun, I'm. Not. Fat!
Rebecca: calm down. Shaun Dez is fine how he is.
Desmond: thank you Becs.
Shaun: all I'm saying is that it wouldn't kill ya to lose some weight.
Desmond: and I'm sure it wouldn't kill you- to take a break on the tea-drinking, but I never say anything about it.
Edward: ha! He got you their lad. *drinks his beer*
Altair: that's enough everyone, let's just try and have a nice dinner without fighting.
Alexios: I agree with Jacob, a man needs to have meat on his bones to grow strong, it puts hair on your chest.
Kassandra: and a smelly breath if not taken care of.
Alexios: hey, I brush!
Achilles: not enough to hide your breath you don't.
Alexios: whatever... *breath into his hand and sniffs* OH! *cough* *cough* ya you know what, I'll brush after I'm done eating.
Some of the group laughs as they continued eating and talking with each other. One particular conversation, however.
Aya: me and Bayek would make such amazing dishes back in Egypt.
Arno: *sighs* I remember Elise and I would make desserts in our youths... *sighs* ...
Ezio: *pauses eating for a moment* ... Arno, we talked about this.
Arno: I know I miss her...
Malik: you need to learn to let go. It's starting to get to you badly.
Arno: Tch! Coming from a hypocrite, I would rather be told that by Shay in person.
Malik: . . . the hell is that suppose to mean?
Altair: *pause his eating as well* ...
Arno: aren't you still mourning over your own issues?
Malik: . . . what. issues. Arno.
Everyone: . . .
Arno: you know your-
Desmond: ahem!
Arni: *glances at Desmond*
Desmond: *shakes his head no to Arno and shakes his hand flatly by his neck*
Arno: ... *looks over at Shaun and Rebecca*
Shaun: Uhm- *clears his throat and keeps eating look away from Arno*
Rebecca: don't look at me. You brought it up. *continues eating*
Arno: . . . *looks over to Altair*
Altair: . . . I rather not be dragged into this again. *continues to eat*
Malik: . . . *just glares at Arno* >=|
Arno: ...
Jacob: *leans over to Arno* "I think you messed up this time Frenchy."
Malik: he's right Arno... I suggest you choose your next words... very. very. carefully. . .
Arno: . . . *gulps* uh... w-with... uh... with your uh... with helping Leonardo and his newest designs?
Malik: ... good answer. *continues to eat.
Arno: *sighs in relief and continues eating*
Leonardo: *has a simplistic look on his face* ...
Desmond: ... *grabs his dinner knife and pretends to cut the air with it and examines the knife* ... yep the air is so thick with tension I can cut that sh*t with a knife.
After everyone had eaten, they had time to relax for the rest of the day. Leonardo and Malik were both in his upstairs workshop discussing new possible designs for future hidden blades and gear.
Malik: *sighs* dinner was- no surprise! ... a disaster.
Leonardo: well, you know what they say, having a large family isn't always easy.
Malik: I see why now.
Leonardo: Cheer up my friend, I'm sure it will pass like normal and we'll probably be arguing over something ridiculous the next meal.
Malik: *chuckles* you mean like how Edward and Alexios used up all the bread?
Leonardo: *chuckles and smiles* Si, something of the sort. So I was thinking for this blade design we could try making something more lethal, should they request the target to be brought back alive.
Malik: *looking around the makeshift workshop* Mhm... "this place is getting messer each time I come here... I wonder how he does it in a place like this..."
Leonardo: uh, Malik could you hand me the parchment, for the blueprints over there? *points to a cluttered bookshelf*
Malik: hmm? Oh, sure thing Leonardo. *walks over to the shelf*
Just as he made his way to the shelf, Malik slipped on a screwdriver that was left on the floor. Causing him to fall over barely grabbing the side of the bookshelf with his one arm he fully knocked his body onto the side of the bookshelf accidentally knocking a few things over.
Malik: ugh, Sh*t! *slides down against the shelf*
Leonardo: Dio Mio! *rushes over to Malik* Are you, ok Malik!?
Malik: ugh, ya... I'm fine Leonardo, don't worry about me. *stands up*
Leonardo: Ugh! I apologize, for that. This place is a mess, I knew I probably should have cleaned a bit before asking for your assistance. *starts picking up some of the items from the floor*
Malik: it's fine Leonardo. *starts picking up some of the fallen items and putting them back on the shelf* Here let me at least help you clean up the- *picks up a small opened box* ... mess...
Malik was holding a small wooden box with a small lock on it. Its lock seemed to have broken from the fall, as it was cracked opened a little.
Malik: ... hey Leonardo... what's-
Leonardo seemed to be rambling about the mess and the blade designs, not noticing Malik speaking to him.
Malik: ... *looks at the box for a moment before opening it*
There was something small inside, it was covered with a dark green cloth wrapped around it.
Malik: ... *puts the box down on one of the shelves and removes the top cover of the green cloth* . . . What the hell?
Underneath was a snipper bullet, covered in dried-up bits of blood lying untouched in the cloth.
Malik: *slowly takes out the bullet and examines it* ... he... kept this? ... I thought he said he got rid of this?
Leonardo: maybe once then I can get my space cleared- ... uh Malik?
Malik: *jumps a bit and quickly puts the cloth with the bullet into his pocket and puts the empty box back onto the shelf* Err- sorry about that Leonardo, I was just... looking for the parchment you wanted.
Leonardo: ah never mind that my friend. I'm sure I'll find it another time.
Just then Shaun walks into the workshop space.
Leonardo: saluti Shaun! How can we help you?
Shaun: can I talk with you two for a bit? *closes the door behind him*
Malik: of course, what do you want to discuss with us?
Shaun: *pulls up a chair and takes a seat* ok listen, during our mission today we retrieved a very important flash drive with some important data on it about the Templar's plans for a new device. We're not exactly sure what it is they're trying to build, but whatever it is, it's big. This thing could put the assassins in a tight spot if the Templars ever succeeded in building it.
Leonardo: Oh my.
Malik: and what does this half to do with us?
Shaun: I'm getting there. Luckily we managed to steal the plans from them before they were able to make copies of them. So I wanted to ask if you two are willing to take care of the drive for a bit before William comes by and picks it up, to take it back to the assassins for further research on what the plans are.
Malik: that's it?
Leonardo: but, why us exactly? If you don't mind me asking?
Shaun: well since everyone here is probably going to be on missions, we can't risk them losing the drive while on a mission. Claudia has her things going on and Achilles is no longer fit for the job anymore, so I thought maybe you two would fit the job perfectly. So what do you guys say?
Leonardo: I guess it wouldn't hurt to help.
Malik: I'm fine with it.
Shaun: great! *hands Malik a small white drive with the assassin's logo on it* keep it safe, and protect it with your life.
Malik: we will.
Leonardo: you can count on us, Shaun.
Shaun: good, we have a mission in road island well begone for a while, so I'm counting on you guys to take good care of it till William gets here. Me, Desmond, Rebecca, Ezio, Altair, and Connor will be gone, for the time being. Everyone else will still be here, so you guys should be fine till we get back. We'll be leaving tomorrow at 6, you guys will be fine right?
Leonardo: *nods*
Malik: we'll be just fine. What's the worst that can happen?
End of episode 1
And that's episode 1 for now, tune in for next time to see how terribly wrong this all goes!
Episode 2 is out now [X]
Random headcanon time!
What if Altair meet Sans undertale?
Altair: *humming while reading his book*
Out of no where sans poofs right next to Altair.
Altair: *hears poof and turns over to see sans* O_O
Sans: wow. Where am I? Wait, don't tell me I got dragged into yet another AU about me? *notices Altair standing next to him*
Altair: um...
Sans: or... someone else's AU?...
Sans and Altair stare at each other in silent for an uncomfortably long time.
Altair: ... who are you? And also... what are you?
Sans: oh! I'm Sans, Sans the skeleton.
Altair: ... you are a skeleton?
Sans: yep, I thought that be pretty obvious by now. Heh
Altair: ... why are you here?
Sans: um... to be completely honest... I have no idea how I even got here?
Altair: ... are you hostile!? *pulls out a throwing knife* *eagle glare*
Sans: uh... na, to much work. I mostly sleep, so not much hostility going on with me. But it was "knife" to meet'cha, Hehe.
Altair: (oh great another joker...)
Sans: what's the matter, you don't find my jokes... humorous? Hehe!
Altair: *low growls*
Sans: ok, ok, I'll stop now.
Altair: hm... *puts knife away*
Sans: well, now that's out of the way, let's just get to the pointof things, so mind telling me who you are?
Altair: ... my name is Altair.
Sans: Altair uh? Well it's nice to meet you. So uh... where exactly am I?
Altair: your in my descendant, Desmond's house.
Sans: ... how old are you exactly?
Altair: 30
Sans: *sighs* hehe, you had me for a second their cause I thought you said descendant for a second-
Altair: I did.
Sans: O_0 ... um... what year were you born in?
Altair: January 11, 1165
Sans: uh... ok wow, hehe- wasn't expecting that, but geez... (I guess this world is capable of... time travel magic... or science?) I maybe an undead skeleton, but your even older then me gramps.
Altair: *low growl* well, how old are you?
Sans: well surprisingly I'm actually in my 30s too. *turns to readier* look it up, it's there.
Altair: ... so where exactly are you from?
Later
Sans: and that's basically how Frisk the human child saved every monster like me from the underground, now humans and monsters are starting to get along happily on the surface together and our lives have never been more at peace.
Altair: hm... interesting... so this determination is what gives the child the ability to manipulate time and space?
Sans: yep. Just like the pieces of Eden that you told me about.
Jacob and Edward walk by the couch.
Jacob: hey Altair, sans.
Edward: hey lads.
Altair: hey.
Sans: sup.
Jacob and Edward keep walked untill they got to the kitchen where they froze for a short second before walking backwards towards the couch.
Jacob and Edward stare at the skeleton in the blue hoodie.
Jacob: O_O
Edward: O_O
Sans: ... uh... hi?
Jacob: ... Altair... why is their a skeleton that looks an awful lot like sans... sitting next you?
Altair: *shrugs shoulders*
Sans: that's because I am sans?
Jacob and Edward: ... HOLY SH*T IT SANS-
More later
All of Desmond's ancestors soon found themselves all sitting around the skeleton in the blue jack, listening to him telling his jokes.
Sans: so I said knock, knock, then they said, who's there? I go. Dishes. They replied. Dishes who? Then I said, dishes a very bad knock knock joke. Hehe!
Half of Desmond's ancestors laughed at the skeleton's joke.
Jacob: HAHA! This skeleton's a bloody riot! HAHA!
Ezio: Haha! Si he truly is.
Edward: I could drink to that.
Desmond unlocked the front door and walked in with Shaun and rebecca with some groceries in their hands.
Desmond: *locks the door* hey guys.
Ancestors: hey Desmond.
Rebecca: Did everyone behave themselves?
Altair: yes.
Shaun: good.
Desmond: oh hey sans.
Sans: sup.
They walk past the couch to put the groceries away and after words they quickly realized what just happened and walked back to the couch.
Sans: ... oh boy here we go... 3, 2, 1-
Desmond, Shaun and Rebecca:
SAAAANS-
Well heres a new comic idea for ya... I actually might draw this at some point. Welp hope you enjoyed this anyway!
This FALL!
Templar: THEIR GETTING AWAY!
Malik: Keep running Leo!
Leonardo: IM TRYING!
For the most anticipated Adventure of a life time!
Leonardo: AH! *trips* MALIK HELP!
Malik was to far into the woods to hear.
Templar: we got you now! *shoots by Leo's leg*
Leonardo: AAH! *shakes*
Templar leader: YOU IDIOT DON'T SHOOT HIM! That's leonardo da Vinci, one bullet in him and we could all be sent back to the dark ages!
Join Malik al sayf
Malik: I think we lost them leo. Leo? *turns head around* ... oh sh*t! Leo I'm coming!
Malik started running back after leonardo.
Templar: sorry sir!
Templar leader: don't start, cause you could have bla bla-
As they argued Leonardo saw the perfect opportunity to divides his escape. He saw a rock next to him, the size of a small tennis ball, he picked it up and then started running.
Templar leader: DAMN IT! DON'T JUST STAND THERE AFTER HIM!
And Leonardo da Vinci
Leonardo stopped when he got far enough away.
Templar: you got no where to run!
Templar leader: now, hand over the drive!
Leonardo: *pants* *throws the rock but over shots it and ducks*
Malik: Leo I'm here-!
Templar: Wow! *miss fires by accident*
Instead of hitting Leonardo it end up hitting something.
Templar leader: you idiot what did I JUST SAY!
Templar: my bad.
Templar leader: Whatever, nice try Da Vinci, but a little rock isn't gonna stop us-
The rock hits a loos heavy brench above the two templars and started to break off from the tree.
Templar leader: so why don't you just come with us and- *gets crushed by the gaint tree brench* AAH-
The two templars were crushed by the gaint tree branch making them unconscious.
The Epic Adventures of Malik and Leonardo
Leonardo: Hey! It worked, I did it! *turns around* Malik did you-
Malik: grr... *right hand covering the hole in his chest*
Leonardo: Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!
Malik: I have, a f@#$ing hole in my chest! WHY DIDN'T YOU BLOCK THAT ONE!
Leonardo: I thought you had it!
Malik: Nooo!
COMING SOON
So I hope you guys liked this written out trailer of a thing I'm working on, called the epic adventures of Malik and Leonardo. So basically it is exactly what the title states it is so ya the story is basically gonna be about Malik and leonardo battling their way threw templars trying to get back home.
There will be...
drama! Heart break! Comedy! ACTION! ADVENTURE!!!
So don't miss out on this epic tale that I made out of boredom cause of school and covid!
Assassin's creed - Fresh Prince of bel air headcanon
It was 12;01 in the assassin house hold, connor had gotten into a fight with his father yesterday about how his mother, after she had mysterious arrived in the future and decided to let her stay with them. After their heated argument, the other assassins all agreed that it was probably best to stay out of it and just hope they'd sort it out in the morning.
Conner was tossing and turning in his bed for about 3 hours straight, think about the fight he had with his dad. He sighed and decided that maybe he should go and talk with mom for some advice, so he got up and walked out of his room into the hallway to his mother's room.
When connor reach his mother he gave the door two knocks.
Ziio: who is it?
Conner: opens door* hey, mom listen I know it's late but we really need to talk.
Both Ziio and Haytham poke their heads out from under the sheets.
Conner: 0_0
Ziio: makes a nervous smile*
Haytham: š¤Ø
Conner: AAAAAAAHH!!! MOMMA NOOO!!!
Ziio: š connor-
Conner: AAAH! *walks to the other side of the room* Momma HOo. YOU. HIM. HERE. HOo?? I NEED A MOMENT!
Connor: takes a set on a near by chair* sigh* I'm an adult... I can handle this... sigh* I'm ok... *slowly turns his head back to his parents*
Ziio: Nervously smiles*
Haytham: expressionless*
Conner: MOMMA NOOO!
Haytham: Connor will you keep it down!
Connor turns over at his father with any anger glare in his eyes, he walks over and points at him.
Connor: I'm not ready to talk YOU! yet young man!
Desmond and Altair come rushing into the room.
Desmond: what's going on we heard screaming?!
Ziio and Haytham: ...
Altair and Desmond: 0_0
Ezio rushes into the room.
Ezio: what's this a pajama party? Scotch over!
Ezio tries to run towards the bed, but Altair grabbed him by his thin t-shirt and pulled him back.
Rebecca and Shaun then came rushing in as well.
Shaun: what's going on? *sees Ziio and Haytham* ... Ew. *walks back to his room*
Rebecca: hey~
Haytham: ...
Connor: OK EVERYBODY OUT! I WANT YOU ALL OUT OF HERE!
Everyone walks out of the room and back to their rooms.
Connor: turns over to his parents* takes a deep breath* ok mom, I just want to let you know... that I am hurt and I don't think, that mothers are supposed to do... what... OH MY GOD I JUST GOT A MENTAL PICTURE!!!
Connor: hold both hand firmly on his head* GET IT OUT!!! *starts running back to his room while freaking out.
I hope you enjoy this headcannon of assassin's creed of bel air. I was originally gonna do Ezio, his mom, and his uncle mario but I found this version of it a little more funnier.
By the way I dare some on Tumblr to either draw this headcanon as a comic or animation, cause I wanna see that!
I also I'm might do more of these, except they'll all just be headcanons of duccio being thrown out of the house like Jazz everytime he did something stupid.
Duccio: AAAH! *lands face first on the yard*
Alexios vs. Siren head
Our journey starts with Desmond, Altair, Ezio, Alexios, and kassandra were lost in the woods hunting for siren head. Ok so long story short the gang were all sent out on a mission for a piece of Eden that had mysteriously vanished off raider in the woods. It was soon revealed that siren head had taken the piece of Eden, so their mission is to find siren head then fine the piece of Eden.
Desmond: ok guys stay close and quiet. We don't want siren head to find us.
Altair: I still don't understand as to how this creature even is real.
Ezio: I don't care if this creature is real or not, it creeps me out either way.
Kassandra: oh don't be such a baby Auditore, the sooner we find the piece the sooner we can leave.
Alexios: Hehe, I just want to hunt down that monstrous creature and have it's siren head on my night stand!
Desmond: Ssh! Alexios keep it down! Or siren head might hear you!
Altair: this is f@#$ing ridiculous, how do we even know this thing is even real-
*tornado siren goes off in the distance*
Desmond: guys...
*heavy footsteps come marching closer*
Ezio: uh oh...
*siren head emerges from the tall pine trees*
Kassandra: SIREN HEAD!!!
Desmond: everybody run!!!
They all start running for there lives, except for Alexios.
Alexios held his ground as siren head now stood a foot away from Alexios.
Desmond and the other stop when they saw Alexios standing in place.
Desmond: BRO ALEXIOS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
Alexios glared at siren head as he saw that siren head had the shroud of Eden rapped around its lamppost like neck.
Kassandra: BROTHER DON'T DO IT! ITS NOT WORTH LOOSING YOUR LIFE!! WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY!!!
Alexios continued to stare the creature down as siren head did the same. Siren head then screeched a might roar that made even a deaf man's ears bleed. But Alexios was not having it.
Altair: oh boy...
Alexios:... *takes a deep breath* NOW LISTEN HEAR YOU F@#$ING lanky stick lookin @$$!!! Bro! Have you even eaten! Have you even eaten! Bro! Your not dummy THICC your dummy STICK ya skinny F@#$ing b@#$!
Alexios: *pulls out some beef jerky* You need this more then me DON'T YA!!! COME EAT IT! YA LIGHT POST PIECE OF SH*T!!! F@#$ YOU!!!
Desmond: 0_0
Altair: 0_0
Ezio: 0_0
Kassandra: 0_0
Siren head: š„
Desmond: oh geez
Siren head goes and cries by a tree.
Desmond: ya- ya didn't half to do him like that Alexios.
Another headcanon inspired by the boys from joshdubs. And as always I'll have a video link below. š and a thank you to Trevor Henderson for creating the infamous siren head.
Altair: If you could go back in time to undo any moment, what would it be?
Malik: this conversation.
Wow you people actually like the last post I made about the assassin's creed characters being the boys from joshdub's YouTube page and it has the most likes I have ever seen so taking it as an indication you people want more of this I will deliver so here you go!
Somewhere in the north of the Pacific Ocean. Ezio, Desmond, Altair, and Connor were lost at sea on a raff that was just barely able to hold all four of them. Altair was tied to a wooden pole in the middle of the raft as to prevent him from drowning in the water. Desmond sat at the edge of the raft with his feet in the water. Ezio and connor were both holding on to one side of the raft in the water to keep it from drifting off track. they had been a drift for about 2 hours, spirits were already at a low as to their rescue when ezio had an idea to get them back up again.
Ezio: *starts humming the mighty jungle* in the ocean the mighty ocean the... Italian swims to night~š¶
*Light chuckling can be heard from the others*
Ezio: in the ocean~š¶
Connor joins in: the mighty ocean the Italian swims to night~š¶
Ezio, connor, and Desmond: in the Ocean the mighty ocean THE ITALIAN SWIMS TONEAUGHT~š¶
Desmond and connor: Yaaa~š¶
Altair: Ba heeeheee heee~š¶
Ezio: spaghetti al pomodoro~š¶
*everyone starts laughing while Altair just chuckles*
In Abstratego's office building elevator.
Jacob: *doing the orange justice dance* no no don't touch me there. this is my no no square no no don't touch me there this is my no no square~š¶
*elevator door opens*
*Maxwell, shay, Haytham are standing there with their swords and guns up at Jacob*
Jacob: no no-
Jacob: .... No no don't-
*Maxwell tries to pull Jacob out of the elevator but Jacob jerks back into the elevator*
Jacob: Whoa whoa whoa! I am sick of you disrespecting my NO NO SQUARE!! this elevator! is my no no square.
Jacob: *pushes button to the first floor*
*door closes*
Jacob: no no don't touch me there this is my no no square~š¶
Maxwell, shay and Haytham are left standing there confused and slightly disturbed.
Now in space for some reason...
Desmond: now that we're in space we should be safe from the virus.
Shaun: hey Desmond somethings wrong with the wifi it's not working.
Desmond: what you...
*Everyone sees Jacob playing on his tablet*
Jacob: yay now with this wifi I can get all~ the battle passes.
Desmond: *grabs Jacob's tablet and Yeats it to the other side of the room*
Jacob: MY BATTLE PASS!!
*Jacob runs over to the other side of the room to get it*
Desmond: which one of you idiots gave him the wifi password? What was the wifi password?
Altair: I thought it was hide your kids, hide your wifi?
Desmond: *snickers*
Shaun: wait Ezio weren't you in charge of the wifi password for the ship?
Ezio: ya I thought it was *Italian gibberish* 695?
Desmond: what does that translate to?
Ezio: it doesn't...
Desmond: I distinctly remember it was Shaun's job to come up with the password.
Shaun: ok yes it was my job to set up the wifi password. When I was setting it up Jacob may or may not have looked over my shoulder when I was setting it up, but the password was-
jacob: *tablet in had* JACOB SUCKS 69!!! HAHAHAHA! HEEHEEE!
*Jacob rund out of the room while playing fortnite on the tablet*
Altair: Jacob get back here!
Desmond, shaun and ezio: Jacob!!
Jacob: I'm going to buy the battle pass~!
Desmond: Jacob get your @$$ back here!
Jacob: IM IN SECOND CIRCLE BOYS! just 32 people left! I'm going to get a victory royal!!
*they catch up to Jacob and they fight over the tablet and get it away from Jacob's hands*
Jacob: NOO MY BATTLE PASS!!!
Desmond: this hurts me more then it hurts you Jacob. Tase him!!
Altair: *tases Jacob*
Jacob: AAAAAAH!
3 minutes of tasing later
Desmond: he's going to be out for a bit. He's going to be perfectly-
Altair: STOP RESISTING!!!!
*Altair starts shooting at Jacob some a lot*
Altair: STOP RESISTING!!!
Everyone: WHOA!
*Ezio and sean try to pull him away for Jacob*
Ezio: stop!!
Shaun: CALM DOWN Altair!!
Desmond: CHILL OUT DUDE!!!
*shaun and Ezio had both Altair's arms and push him against a wall as they yell and scream at Altair trying to get him to stop*
Altair: He is resisting!
Desmond: hold him back guys! hold him back!
Altair: He's resisting... *sobs* he's resisting... *sobs*
Desmond: Altair?
Altair: *sobs*
Shaun: Altair what's wrong?
Altair: *takes deep breaths in and out while still sobbing a bit*
Altair: I can't help it, when I see someone just... RESISTING... it just reminds me of my childhood...
Desmond: hey it's ok Altair.
Ezio: just relax.
Shaun: you'll be ok.
*Jacob wakes up*
Jacob: g-guys guys!
Ezio: Jacob!
Desmond: Jacob?
Jacob: Whoa! Whys he crying?
*Silence for a moment*
Altair charges at Jacob at full force.
Desmond, ezio, Shaun: NO NO ALTAIR! STOP!
Jacob: whoa Altair we can play together! Look it's two player. *shows tablet*
Altair: *pulls out gun and starts shooting at Jacob*
Jacob: AAAAAH! NOT AGAIN AAAAAH!!
Desmond: NO!
Ezio: ALTAIR STOP!!
2 minutes of shooting later
Desmond: oh no you just shot him like 500 times! Does anyone know CPR?
Everyone: ....
Ezio: Ah no...
Ok look I know nobody asked for more of this.... I was bord... have fun with more of this dumb stuff š
Ok so I had a dumb idea so what if some of the Assassin's creed characters were the YouTubers from Joshdubs and if you don't know what I'm talking about I'm add a link.
Altair: hello there and welcome to Altair's cooking show extravaganza.
Altair: now here we have a middle eastern potato *grabs gernade* now what you want to do is just slowly cut in the middle of it as to not get the detonator- *click*
Altair: oh sh*t uh uh APPETIZERS!
Alexios: Ooo appet- *explodes in the middle of the door way* AAAAAH!
Desmond: haha!
All the of Desmond's assassin ancestors and Shaun have infiltrated Abstratego to save Alexios with each of them having guns with them.
Desmond: Ree- I'm mean Alexios!
Alexios: *autotuned voice* WHat dO YOu WAant?
Desmond: Alexios we're here to save you!
Alexios: WHat Do YOu f**king MEaN save me I am perfect- *Jacob gets a little closer to him*
Alexios: GEt ThE F**k Away FRom ME!
Jacob: *shuffles back*
Alexios: Put THe f**king guns dOwn or I'm gOnNA to pull the GrEnADe!
Desmond: ok everyone put your guns down!
Alexios: *pulls grenade pin* Uh Oh I JUsT PuLlED the GERNAAAADE!
Desmond: haha!
Everyone: *backs away from Alexios*
Alexios: *holds grenade out* OOOOO You BeTTeR STAY AWAY~
Altair: *throws small plastic bottle*
Alexios: Whoo THe F**k threw THat PLaSTic I WILL STABE YOU!! SKSKSK SAVE THE TURTLES!!!
Alexios: PRASE A LOOOOOOOONE! *Explodes*
Desmond: OOOOH!
Altair: Allright gentlemen, I'm not going to lie to you, we are in some serious sheeet. The zombies are knocking on our door step but I think what really ticks me off the most is-
Alexios: *slaps Altair in the face so hard he passes out while Alexios rees super loudly*
Shaun: holy sh*t! You killed him!
Desmond: *laughs in the back ground*
Alexios was placed in a hole that was sealed shut while reeing in the sealed hole in the ground.
Altair: I have seen the rings of stare, I've walked across the gates of Dacuba... I-I don't have an answer for this.
Alexios: *escapes the hole*
Altair: this is why you get your kids vaccinated.
Alexios: my mom fully vaccinated me... wait a minute. *a hole threw time and space opens up to ancient Greece*
Alexios: MOM DID YOU VACCINATE ME! WHEN I WAS YOUNG!
*mom responds back*
Alexios: OH OK THANKS I GUESS IM GONNA F**KING DIE NOW!
*Desmond and shaun laugh in the background*
*portal closes*
Shaun: so what did she say?
Alexios: so uh hmm, I have about 5 seconds to live now, I love you all and-
*Alexios faints*
Shaun: what? WHAT THE F**K JUST HAPPENED?!?
Desmond: h-he died he got herpes.
Altair: does this mean I'm replacing Alexios?
Shaun: ya
Desmond: ya ya ya. Hold on, were you vaccinated?
Shaun: were you?
Altair: no I was vaccinated, but now I gotta learn how to ree
*Altair clears his throat*
Altair: Ahm... *makes a serious face* reeee
Alexios: *rises back up* Do I smell, a motherf***ing challenge. You thik you could take. my. throne!
*Alexios gets up in Altair's face*
Altair: it pretty easy when it's so damn small!
Alexios: Well no sh*t I'm f**king fat!
Shaun, desmond, Altair: wait what?
Desmond: t-that's not how it works.
Alexios: I challenge you to a f**king ree off c***t!
*Alexios and Altair clear their throats*
Alexios: REEEEEEEE!
Altair: reeee
Alexios: REEEEEEEEE!
Altair: reeeeeeee reeeee
If you guys have any better ideas then this you can ask or if you want more of this... ask or if you just never want to see this again.... don't ask... ya =)
One of my favorite screenshots I've taken to this day š
This entire post is beautiful
which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?
They also threw him plushies of sushi, a shrimp and broccoli
lol someone threw him a makkachin
Avengers as stupid shit my friends have said
Clint: Thatās not a watermelon, thatās a fetus!
Nat: You shoulda kicked him in the nuts
Tony: You know what I is!
Also Tony: Iām a vagina expert
Sam to Bucky: Too painful to date
Bruce: In space thereās always a bigger rock
Wanda: Troublesome gay
Peter when someone says donāt fail: I fail at everything
Shuri: And not get pushed off roofs by furries
Bucky: So last night I ditched my friends and made an accurate representation of my soul. Cold, hard, black, shiny stone. Also somewhat damaged and incomplete.
Scott: I canāt believe they landed on me having sex! I mean get a room!
Pepper: Thanks, I hate it
Steve: Iām American
Peter from the other room: I thought you were a lesbian!
Carol: Okay who here isnāt gay?
Hope: Thanks, wish you werenāt here
Vision: Iāve tested positive for gay
Loki (even though technically not an Avenger): I LOVE STABBING CHILDREN!!
Tchalla: I ripped it apart with my bare hands!
Thor, clueless: Whatās a handjob?
āWhat do you know about infectious diseases?ā -teacher
āThey spreadā -person
āDoes that make sluts diseases?ā -me
now listen here you little shit
Why am I rebloging this?
Persona 5 For Beginners Sneak Peek
I hope no one has done this one yet
Me: I get offended so easily
Friend: Yeah you do
Me: *gets offended*
I thought of this while listening to soundtracks from a Winnie The Pooh playlist. (I'm not sure if someone had done this already, but I'm still doing it anyways.)