Hell - Blog Posts
Lost Loves
Reunited in Hell.
You didn't expect to end up in Hell. It's something that just never occurred to you, that despite your praying, begging for forgiveness, youd still end up rotting with everyone else. You'd helped your husband in his murders, you'd still help him, have he not been shot.
You wandered curiously through Hell, looking at a porn store, an already mugged store and weapons store that crossed your way while you walked through the streets like it were normal. There was chaos all around you, it felt like every two seconds someone's head was lobbed off in a gruesome way. You continued to walk through the crimson streets of Hell before something caught your eye, a small group of sinners all huddled up around a smaller store, or what looked like a store.
Your curiosity got the best of you, dragging you into the front of the small group, murmuring apologies or simply pushing past those who chose to ignore you. It was a radio, a modern looking one at that, similar to one you had in your own home, which you'd always listen to your husbands radio show on. Then something struck you, the radio wasn't the only familiar thing about this scene. The voice, the grating, static-filled voice. Youd recognise it anywhere. Alastor..
You listened in intently, rudely sushing any murmur or whisper among the crowd you'd trudged your way into. You smiled manically upon just listening to his voice for more than two minutes. Frantically, you grasped onto the shoulders of the hell-goer closes to you, a gatsby woman. She was short and pudgy, but undeniably pretty.
"Where does he live?" You asked with the most amount of kindness you could muster, despite your excitement.
"The radio demon? He's residin' at his radio hut, why?" The woman asked, hands on her hips. You bit a scowl at hearing the woman refer to your deceased husband as a demon, but you kept your composure.
"Take me there!" You said breathlessly with a grin, gripping the short woman's shoulders harshly, making her shrug them off.
"And what's in it fa' me?" She asks, looking at you from the side of her eye, tilting her head slightly with a bored look on her face.
"I'll put in a good word for you." The first offer, and undeniably the best. A cocky grin came to her face as she took you hand, shaking it slowly, beginning to drag you down the street. You saw a small lodge at the end of the street, decrepit but sturdy. Minimalistic. It came closer with every long stride, making you grin. You were so close to seeing your husband again, a mere stride away.
You missed the next few seconds of your life- well, death, only truly in your own mind again when you were face-to-face with your husband, his hands gripping your arms tightly. He was scared of leaving you, again. You looked into his newly red eyes, his paler skin, his red hair, everything about him. Even his new features. His deer ones, fitting.
"I've missed you, love.." You murmured breathlessly, a small, teary smile on your face. The small woman had gone, leaving nothing in her wake. It was just you and your husband, the hotel was silent, apart from your small sniffles and the static coming from your husband. Your husband.
"Oh my darling.. I never meant to leave you.." He cooes with a large grin on his face, bearing his sharp, yellow teeth.
Both of you leaned into one another, soft bleating coming from Alastor's throat as your lips connected for what felt like the first time in a millenia.
You held his hand in yours desperately, feeling a cold metal on your finger. His wedding ring, he never took it off. It didn't fit his aesthetic, the silver contrasting his outside drastically, but he'd kept it on.
"You kept it on.." You murmured against his lips happily, feeling him cup your face.
"I was waiting for you, darling.." He cooed yet again, leaning down with a large grin but, it was comforting. Soft.
"I love you.." A chorus of two voices, filled with a heavenly love and devotion to one another, pure love.
This belongs to @nieveel not you
Haiii
I’m the totally super cool and awesome and normal neurotypical ruler of hell I am really the ruler of hell guys I am not delusional
Lucy Fur in all her glory.
GOOD OMENS SEASON 2 SPOILERS
It’s quite a common theory/headcannon that Crowley doesn’t remember his time as an angle before he fell. If this is true, they would both have different a first memory of eachother, meaning their first impression differ. I think this would explain the assumption that both Aziraphale and Crowley make to metatrons offer.
Aziraphale’s first memory is of the happy Angel whose happily created the galaxy and asks questions about why it has to end, which gives him the impression that Crowley would be happy to be a Angel again, wants to ‘reform’ heaven and prevent Armageddon 2.0, therefore would want to go back.
Whereas Crowley’s first memory (as far as he knows) is of the Angel who betrayed heaven to help Adam and Eve by giving them the fire sword, and over time continues to betray heaven, leaving the impression that he isn’t very loyal to heaven and likes humans, therefore wouldn’t accept it.
Then over their 6000 years on Earth, they both betrayed their sides. Giving Aziraphale the idea that Crowley liked heaven and Crowley the idea that Aziraphale didn’t.
Escape
Terzo: *crawl through the gates of hell*
Lucifer: What are you doing? Where are you going?
Terzo: If Nihil can escape hell then so can I
i’m going to go rawdog four assignments, all due today. two essays, one test correction, and one assignment project thing that’s from Valentine’s Day.
i’m not surviving this
I'm re-learning how to draw! Have a little drawing of my Tarnished, Her name is Astra and she's a sorceress and katana user!
Dwindle in hell
POV, dwindle brings you some water (you’re in hell)
more crystalbrain biography
part 4…
having accomplished his goal in upperercutting a train into teh sun, crystalbrain continued 2 go and accomplish superhuman feets of power, and he used a fake body 2 ascend 2 teh stars in an alternate reality. the only thing about this was that the planets he discovered were interweb planets made of superstitition, not actual dead rock and frozen gas planets liek in what he thought reality was. this was ok with him, even though he now had 2 deal with a bunch of dead philosophers hanging out with hallucinations of greek gods. apparently this was ok, but he did not feel right, and decided 2 leave the solar system.
this was an unfortununate choice however because there was just liek a dark void with liek nothing in it except ads for penis enlargement pills and porno, and so he drifted through lots of videos of people doing really nasty stuff with all kinds of orifices and things leik that until he reached heaven, where everyone was high on crack due to the CIA. he knocked on the door and this dude just started talkin about how he was fuckin high as fuckin hell and that they had so much crack 2 smoke and they never ran out in heaven. he picked up some free rock and decided 2 leave and was sent 2 get a tour of hell…
in the 1980s everyone in hell was doing coke but they had moved on to meth, and all these dictator dudes and CIA agents greeted him in hell. it was ok he guessed, but they were totally spun out of their mind and masturbating furiously while staring at the porn void between heaven and hell. the pope's ghost body had just come across the void and had picked up a rock from his dealer in heaven but he went down 2 hell 2 get some nice crystal, but the problem with hell is that they had 2 synthehesize the meth using rituals with lost souls. not wanting 2 be one of these lost soul dudes, crystalbrain decided 2 go convert 2 buddhism and went 2 visit gautama buddha, who was completely stoned as hell on marijuana in a state of nirvana (which according 2 some ppl is the same as samsara (witch means that the illusion and libereration from illusion are teh same i guess i dunno)).
crystalbrain received much wisdom from buddha and using super mind powers destroyed heaven and hell and returned 2 earth in a state of nirvana (which meant he was listening 2 nirvana on his headphones). he then laughed at how even tho he was dumb he could grasp teh basic fact that everyone was dumb because they believed in stuff. but then he smoked a bunch of crack and meth and things started 2 suck again for him because of delususional thinking.
part 5…
crystalbrain after his de-enlightenment deicided 2 go 2 a bar, but this was not really satisfying as the bartender was not happy when he took out a crack pipe and started smoking a rock on a barstool. crystalbrain will never forget the look on the man's face as "don't bring me down" by electric light orchestra or some shit was playing on the jukebox and he said that he was going 2 call the police. this started an argument which ended in crystalbrain picking up a bottle of jagermeister and smacking it over teh head of the bartender, and since crystalbrain was a superman he ended up slicing the bartender from the top of his head down to his nuts. he realized that the police were going to arrive but doo 2 him being a paranoid dude he decided 2 smoke a huge rock of crack so he could run away faster. unfortunately his lighter wouldn't light at first and then he just kept hitting the crack pipe over and over again. when teh police arrived he realizized that he had forgotten to run so he had to fight the police and so he picked up two bottles of liquor and threw them at the police and they hit two of the motherfuckers straight in the face with excessive force, decapitating them.
now he realized he was a cop killer but because he had superpowers he didn't care about being arrested so he started imitating donatello from the teenage mutant ninja turtles with a pool stick and shoved it so far up the ass of a cop that he was impaled on it. then, since he was being repeatedly shot, he used his special wound healing powers 2 suck the bullets into his mouth and spit them at the cops, killing them liek that bad guy in the movie the mask (he was a fan of this movie i guess). so there was a bar full of dead cops and since all the cops were dead he stole a cop car and tried 2 take it 2 a chop shop to sell it for parts so he could get money 2 buy more crack. however, the guys at the chop shop had heard that there was a reward for his capture so they pretended liek they were going 2 strip the car for parts and then went and called the cops, who this time showed up with a huge basketball-sized crack rock they had seized from a guy who was working for the CIA.
they told him if he cooperated he could have this huge rock and so he went to the police station. however they didnt hand him the b-ball sized crack rock, so he got angry and used telepathetic mind-control powers 2 have the cops line up to suck his dick while he had the handcuffs on. what happened next was all a blur for him, but when he got the rock he realized he didn't have a crack pipe big enough 2 smoke it in, so he tried 2 think of a glass tube that was tapered at one end so he could take a hit off of it but he couldn't think of anything that existed liek this. he broke his handcuffs. so while he was getting his dick sucked by the cops he had the bright idea of shooting the crack rock with a shotgun and thus breaking it into many pieces, which he put inside of a crack pipe one at a time and smoked. anyways he got so high that he grew a pair of wings and his dick split into two serpents which entwined themselves like a caduceus (which is that symbol that is incorrect but used as a symbol of medicine even tho its for the god hermes or something). anyways, since there were now two dicks that he had he had two cops sucking them and he was flying through the air until he decided to drop them in the grand canyon, and thus he made his escape.
to be continued…
part 6:
crystalbrain sat on top of mt. everest and meditatated while freezing his ass off. he used awesome fireball powerz to surround him leik a dude who had read too much new age crap. but he knew he had crossed a line where he could never go back 2 that reality again. so he entered an alternate universe where that had never happened and did extremely large amounts of various drugs while sucking his own dick in a yoga posture. "wut do i do now?" he pondered, as all of his crimes were magically erased by his state of nirvana. nirvana's "scentless apprentice" played on repeat in his mind becuz he lieked that song. he spent a month as a painting on a wall and his eyes would follow ppl as they walked by, which some ppl noticed and were creeped out by.
he felt lonely; everything he wanted was gone with a stretch of his middle finger. he had no need for work, had tried every drug, had even authored a very badly written book on esoteric homosexual intercourse that was never published. this was the limit; no one could stop him from doing anything he wanted 2 do. he pondered this for a while and the more he pondered the less he lieked life. all of the cops he had killed were alive and well, all of the people who stood in his way had never met him and had no cares for anything. he was marvelous, a true wonder of perfect stupididity, enlightenenment, power, and destruction. there was nothing left to do except maek fun of people, which was just mean but he did it anyways for a while, especially on twitter.
he thought of people in unfortunate positions, liek the worst possible situatation where everyone was so completely fucked by what they thought reality was and he would come in 2 maek fun of them. he would walk among them as one of them, inhabit their bodies, look through their eyes, and at the last second, he'd save their asses and everything would be great again. this was teh hope ppl had, that their problemz could be solved by some dude from virtual reality just crashing in liek a messiah or antichrist or christ or final avatar of vishnu or what the fuck ever, but he would just be there, laugh at their problems, inform them that they had an inaccurate understanding of things and needed enlightenened stupidity to save their asses, and he would provide this with extreme prejudice by waving his dick around liek a magic wand and making reality better.
to be continued…?
Circles of Hell
A long gauntlet of a piece that has easily become one of my favorite things I created. I imagine the name to be pronounced similarly as the chorus of the song FUTURE OF HELL by HEALTH. In general their music has been a heavy inspiration. Also there are three doors that I more or less accidentally placed as fun little easter eggs.
Vivamus, moriendum est | Let us live, since we must die
Exigo a me non ut optimus par sim sed ut malis melio | I require myself not to be equal to the best, but to be better than the bad
Vive ut Vivas | Live to live
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni | We enter the circle at night and are consumed by fire.
Flectere si nequeo superos, acheronta movebo | If I can not bend the will of Heaven, I shall move Hell | Aeneid, Virgil
Neutiquam erro | I am not lost
In Omnia Paratus | Ready for anything
↠ Latin Phrases
I’ve been collecting these phrases for a while. Now, I’m finally posting them!
In absentia lucis, tenebrae vincunt | In the absence of light, darkness prevails
Dulce periculum | Danger is sweet
Non ducor duco | I am not lead; I lead
Cogito ergo sum | I think, therefore I am
Lux brumalis | The light of winter
Alis propriis volat | She flies with her own wings
Bibere venenum in auro | To drink poison from a golden cup
Est quaedam flere voluptas | There is a certain pleasure in weeping
Ut incepit fidelis sic permanet | Loyal she began, thus she remains
Si vis pacem, para bellum | If you want peace, prepare for war
Luceat lux vestra | Let your light shine
Vidi Vidi Amavi | I came, I saw, I loved | Julius Caesar
Astra inclinant, sed non obligant | The stars incline us, they do not bind us.
Sic semper tyrannis | Thus always to tyrants | Marcus Junius Brutus
Aeternum vale | Farewell forever
Curae leves loquuntur ingentes stupent | Slight griefs talk, great ones are speechless.
Fortuna vitrea est; tum cum splendet frangitur | Fortune is glass; just when it gleams brightest it shatters | Publilius Syrus
Hinc illae lacrimae | Hence these tears | Terence
Letter from Hades to Persephone by Clementine Von Radics
Tell me losing everything is what saved you,
tell me you finally tasted freedom.
Don't lie.
I see it in your eyes. Women lie to their mothers.
Women do not know how to use their own voices and resort to things deeper.
Don't lie to me.
Tell me you loved to destroy.
Tell me you need me. Please.
You are the bones of my spine.
You are the ground beneath my feet.
You are made of deeper stuff than the earth can give.
Admit it : you are lost without the waiting.
Can you even imagine yourself in paradise?
Even the daughter of gods must know loneliness,
must sometimes want nothing more than to be
trapped in a hell of forevers.
Thank me, you queen.
I've given you forever.
SINCE THE WHOLESOME ONE WON! HERE YOU GO! (I will keep on the voting)
The devil caught them-
I made a stickler poster thing CUZ WHY NOT
Goretober-Day 5: “Stabbed”
Hello! I’m SpiderWeb! “Hazbin Hotel / Helluva Boss” I die to come from Hell Show you my oc!
Aid in her final form is just...lovely 🌌
She is paying the price for her misdeeds 🔥
🔥🔥🔥
5 Stages of Good Omens
Season 2 Episode 6
Denial
“No. Good Omens season 2 ended at episode 5.”
Anger
“WHY?! They were perfect together! It doesn’t make sense!”
Bargaining
“If only they had gone off to Alpha Centauri together. They would’ve been together forever.”
Depression
“(ugly sobbing) They were too perfect for everything, for all the other angels and demons, for this world and cruel heaven and hell. They were so perfect for each other, but now they are no longer together! (ugly sobbing continues)”
Acceptance
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